Hello all! This is where I'll be posting some of my fanfics, and apparently some fan art too. Organisation? Don’t know her. My main is vaguefairee 26/Non binary
I'll put under a read more so I don't clutter up the dash
Essentially I've not been as active as I used to be due to severe depression and anxiety.
A list of the shit that's been going on
A job opprotunity that I badly wanted, studied for and begged my manager over and over to let me apply for was given to someone else. I didn't even get a chance to interview for the position. It went to a person who didn't even want it and turned it down and then was given to a brand new person and I was put back in a section that had previously caused me two mental breakdowns due to stress and severe customer abuse. My anxiety spiked. I cried every night. I was told to get over it, to quit, to stop complaining, and I'm stuck in a position where I can't quit because I have to pay my rent and bills and I can't get over it because I'm a human being, not a robot, and I was badly, badly affected by rude customers. One who told her child *in front of me* that the child should go to college so she wouldn't end up like me. And that struck such a nerve within me because I had to drop out of college due to health reasons. There's been ruder and nastier things said to me but that one always stuck with me.
I'm moving out of my apartment that's always had mould, poor ventilation and heating (even typing this now my hands are shaking) into my brother's home that he's renting out to me and even now he's holding it over my head, trying to dictate how I can decorate it (not painting I understand but seriously not being allowed to hang up photos or my paintings? Not having my figurines and plushies out? It's about control and I'm tired of it.)
My dad's health is getting worse. He's recovering from colon cancer and some days he's in good health and then there's days where he's in so much pain, he can't eat, can't even rest, and you see it in his eyes how badly he's suffering and there's nothing anyone can do for him. I'm extremely close with my dad and if I lost him I honestly don't know what I'd do.
I have no friends outside of work or the internet anymore due to a bad falling out with someone I thought was my best friend because she chose her new relationship over everything else. Even when her boyfriend made fun of my teeth (which I hate) and my weight, she said nothing and let him insult me, but got mad at me when I told him he was being rude and ignorant. The loneliness eats away at me. And I've tried reaching out, tried to find groups, but throughout all of Christmas and New Years I was so so exhausted and overstimulated and I closed off more and more. And now I don't know how.
I've had panic attacks, breakdowns and turned on the few online friends I have, and I knew in the moment I was overreacting and being an asshole and I still couldn't stop because I'm just so so fed up of feeling like shit and having everyone repeat the same advice to me over and over and over again. Quit your job, smile more, just be happy, just get over it, let it wash over you, don't react, it all just drove me fucking crazy.
I got anonymous messages from people telling me to stop writing my oc centered stories on glimmer or stop posting art of them because no-one wants that content from me, and that broke me in a way I don't know how to explain. It was like the last, very last, shred of serotonin I had was stripped from me. I just deleted and never responded because I didn't know how to respond. And I'm already very self concious of my ocs, my stories and my art because I always feel they're not good enough, not interesting, not pretty, not well written, and then when one anon asked for me to draw their favourite oc x canon ship, an oc that belongs to another creator shipped with a canon character I already ship with, that fucked me up too. It felt so stupid, I felt stupid, but my heart was so thoroughly crushed because I knew my ocs would never be that well liked by anyone but me. And I get that that's the way it's supposed to be, right? Like no-one will care about your ocs the way you do. You draw, write and create for yourself first and foremost. But I cried for ages after I deleted that message. I felt that there was no point to making anything. Everything was just bleak, hollow and pointless.
I'm waiting to see a doctor and a therapist because at this point in time I can't afford to go see anyone. I haven't felt like myself in a long, long time. I'm hoping with this move I won't be as crushed under the financial strain, or feel miserable in an apartment with no heating and that I'll finally get a new job in the town I'm moving to so I can leave my toxic workplace behind.
But yeah, that's why I've not been as active anywhere. That's why I'm so distant or rude or short with people. I'm really sorry for that. For hurting anyone. I want to get better, it's just gonna take time.
okay i’m gonna say it: fandoms are kinda dying on tumblr, and they’re starving because nobody reblogs anymore.
like… i don’t wanna be that person but be for real?? likes are cute and all but they do nothing for creators. ZERO. NADA. a reblog is literally the oxygen mask keeping this blue hellsite alive. you say you “love” a fic, an edit, a gifset? then BABES… reblog it. boost it. let it breathe.
half the time creators are out here pouring their entire soul, spine, AND three vertebrae into something just for it to get 200 likes and 3 reblogs, two of which are their own. that’s why people stop posting. that’s why fandoms feel empty. content doesn’t magically fall from the sky — it comes from people who feel seen.
and i promise you: reblogging is free. it costs you like 0.2 seconds and suddenly you’re personally responsible for keeping a whole fandom alive. congrats!! so yeah. if you like something? reblog it. scream in the tags. yell. keyboard smash. put sparkles. do whatever. just don’t let creators feel like they’re shouting into a void.
reblogs feed creators. reblogs keep fandoms thriving. reblogs literally save lives (okay maybe not literally but u get it).
support the creators you love !!!!!! or else we’re all gonna be sitting in empty tags like clowns.
can we explain to early-twenties autistic lgbt people that they . cant be saying these things. you cant be calling people 'degens' in your dni you cant do that. you cant do that man. can we do a history lesson. you cant do that
"in defense of using the term degen, it's generally applied to pedophiles" - conservative man who might actually shoot a trans woman if he saw one within 50 meters of his child, and also LGBT tumblr users who do not know things they should know
to be extra clear. the reason it is fascist is because it implies a) an ideal past that society has fallen from, and b) people who are responsible for society's fall from that ideal past.
a "degenerate" is someone who caused/causes society to fall from that ideal past.
even applying the term "degenerate" to people who have actually sexually abused children, specifically, is still implying that there was once a world in which CSA did not exist, which society must return to, and which Certain Types Of People have caused society to stray from in the first place.
these problems are systemic. that's like the whole idea behind all progressive and leftist ideology. come on.
i need to correct this: wow classic doesn’t have any npcs that can only talk to one player at a time. these lines actually formed for a quest npc that players had to kill to complete the objective. knowing that i think this image is even funnier.
I do think it’s funny when headcanons are presented as objective character facts bc I get “He would not fucking say/do that” as much as the next guy but I must also humbly acknowledge its powerful cousin named “A skilled enough writer could make me believe he would”
Immso sorry but you dont support proship or rape fics right?? Cause those asks are scaring me
I do support them actually. because it’s fiction and it’s fun. I have been writing and reading fanfiction about my favorite fictional characters getting raped for years now and it’s never a secret lmao. I’ve always been open about it.
my blog is a safe place for freaks, but it’s not a safe place for puritans.
Also wanted to add that there is no “rape” here. Be it dark fanfiction or CNC. Because all parties involved actually consented.
For CNC, both parties consented.
For rape fics, writers consented to writing it and readers consented to reading it. “But the fictional character didn’t!” That’s because they are fantasies. Fictional characters can’t actually be victims because they don’t exist. They don’t have life or feelings. They are the fantasies you created.
Also a lot of rape victims use THIS to cope with their trauma and heal from it. Because in dark fics, THEY are in control for once.
people, especially younger people/minors, on platforms like twitter, bluesky, tiktok and instagram are too comfortable with censorship without even knowing that it’s literally a fascist textbook. “so I am personally uncomfortable with these fictional things, therefore it deserves to be censored/erased from existence and anybody who disagrees with me should be harassed and crucified for it”
don’t like something? cool. curate your own internet experience by muting/blocking what you don’t want to see. don’t make it other people’s problem to censor themselves and cater to your personal comfort. no one in real life is getting harmed because a fanfiction someone somewhere writes is taboo.
Gay, third tier, goth @vaguewrites - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
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