#insideout wellness

[insideoutwellness]

When Things Don’t Go Your Way Change Your Perspective!

Hey Everyone! Today on the blog let’s talk about dreams...you know when you were little and sitting in your classroom, bored out of your mind! Where did you go? What did you dream about? Now as an adult, did those dreams come true? Has your life become more than you ever dreamt of? Think about it...

When I was a little girl I dreamt of marrying THE ONE! He was tall, dark hair, and of course quite handsome. I had the vision of me walking down the church aisle in my beautiful wedding dress and meeting MY ONE to start our happy ever after together. I would go on to think about our home, our children (including fur-babies) and all the adventures we would have as a family. We would go to church together and have family Sunday dinners. We would vacation in cool adventurous places. We would live happily ever after. 

Funny thing…our visions of what our life should be doesn’t necessarily match what it ends up being. We can dream all day long about what we want but in the end there may actually be something even more spectacular. 

My dreams as a child were childish and ignorant, just as they should have been. I was young and naïve and I was simply dreaming. My dreams didn’t take into account what I would really need to live happily ever after. I was looking at the superficial things; beautiful dress, dreaming of the perfect proposal, just things. WOW, has my perspective changed over time. I could have never dreamt of the life I have been given…EVER! 

I am happy to say I did marry MY ONE! But the ONE I was thinking of was 6’5, my ONE is 5’10. The ONE I dreamt of was a good husband…MY ONE is my very best friend ~ he is truly the witness to my entire life; he is a phenomenal husband. The ONE in my dreams loved his children and they loved him. MY ONE has redefined a father’s love…the example my boys have of a man, a good human being, and a father ~ again, I couldn’t dream this up. I do have to say, he is dark hair and very handsome – that is for sure!! 

We all have this perception of how we want our life to go. I know many people who control every aspect of their life to make sure it happens just so. But, is it worth it? Is it really worth being a control freak about all of this? I would strongly say no. Sometimes life presents us with small or HUGE gifts, but if we are too busy with only looking for what we want in people or in situations, we may actually miss the gem that life is offering you. 

I wanted my husband to love his faith – be active in his “Catholic” church community. That was part of the dream. Funny thing is I married a Jewish man! If I allowed that very important detail deter me – if I allowed myself to control that whole situation – I would most definitely missed the opportunity to marry my ONE! I will tell you, that was a struggle, but the more I got to know him, the more my perspective changed. 

Why do I share all of this with you and how does this relate to anything in your life? 

I share this because after 21-years of marriage my perspective on my life has changed over and over. I have been forced to look at things with a bigger heart and a wider lens. We can dream all we want, but we also have to be open to the possibility that we are being steered in a different direction. We have to be able to imagine the endless possibilities that are right in front of us. The more we try to control the outcomes the more we will miss the ultimate dream. 

We have to change our perspective. Instead of stomping our feet and having an ‘adult fit’ that things are not going our way, we have to allow ourselves to look at the whole picture. Here are a few things to think about: 1) Are you trying to control too much? 2) How are you working toward your dreams? What are you putting into it? Where can you give more? 

3) Is the answer to your dreams right in front of you and you are simply overwhelmed with fear and so running or pushing it away seems like the easier thing to do? 

Dreaming is great…but what if life has more to give you? What if there is a dream life designed for you that you wouldn’t even dare to dream about? I will tell you, it is possible. I am not saying perfect, Lord knows there is no such thing as perfect…but I am saying what if? It is possible…I am living proof. I gratefully will tell you, once I allowed myself to accept what life was offering me, my life became more than I ever imagined! 

If things are not going your way, maybe it is time to lean in and go the way life is steering you. Maybe it is time to embrace where you are right here right now. Stop trying to control it and see what happens. You never know. Go beyond your dreams and find your spectacular life. It is never too late – ever!

[insideoutwellness]

New Year ~ New You...Really? 10-30-14

Hey Everyone, I hope you are well. Hard to believe this is the last blog post of 2014 ~ amazing how fast the year has gone. Today on the blog I want to talk about the whole concept of ‘New Year ~ New You!’ I am sure like me, you are seeing things about change, resolutions, quick fixes and more. And although I totally get it, I think this puts added pressure to become amazing overnight, and for me it just doesn’t work that way. We are all great right now! We are at our very best right at this very moment. Doesn’t mean we won’t get better. This doesn’t mean that we don’t all have some things that could use some adjusting; we are all on a journey to greatness! But, it is just that – a journey – and to think a new year can somehow speed that journey up is a bit ridiculous.  I think it is great to keep striving for greatness, but I don’t want that to be dictated by a number. I don’t want the New Year to put this pressure on me that I need to get everything I got wrong in the year prior 100% correct. As if this New Year will now allow me to achieve my greatness ASAP! There is this desire to do better and be better. Let’s be real this time of year invokes these feelings of change in all of us, it is just the way our society is – it’s the human-ness in us all. 

    Did you know only 8% of the people who proclaim a New Year’s resolution actually see it through? Only 8%!!! It seems as though we all have the first part down ~ the desire to be better. I think we can all relate to driving along in our car and thinking – maybe even dreaming if you will, of all that we can become, all that we have to offer this world. Can you relate to that? We are all dreamers in a way. It is in our dreams that our desires are born. Who we want to be and what our world will be like when we become that person. We fantasize about what it would be like to fulfill these dreams and be all that we are capable of being. We envision our life and how different it would be if we were thinner, richer, smarter and so on. Of course we truly want to be all of these things and more but somehow we get tripped up from the point of envisioning to the point of implementing. This is why only 8% of the people who seek New Year’s resolutions actually succeed.

    Many people will tell you that it is important to have goals and when those goals are well defined you will tend to succeed. But, I actually beg to differ. I believe at the core of all of us we want all good things for us and the world we live in. I believe we don’t succeed because we are too focused on our goals and dreams. In the process of fantasizing about all we can be we start to question our abilities to actually make that happen. We question where we will get the willpower to lose the weight. We question our abilities to go back to school and get a degree. We fear that if we go for a bigger job we may not be qualified and then what? It is in this dreaming that we actually disconnect from our desire to be all that we are capable of being. Our desires are one upped by our fear and then we take no action and failure is eminent.

  So then how does one succeed in achieving change?

  Dreaming is one thing, but seeking and investigating other aspects of who we are is critical in implementing our desires. Dreaming is fun, and in fact helps the brain feel pleasure, which the brain loves. Quite often those who dream will become more complacent due to this very fact. The brain feels fulfilled just by thinking and envisioning the potential outcome and therefore doesn’t have the desire to put in the hard work required to see that dream through to reality. So what is one to do? How do we ensure that the desires we spend so much time dreaming about come to be? How do we give our dreams the wings to fly?

  I came up with a 6-step process called D.E.S.I.R.E. In this process you will go through specific steps to help you dream in a more productive way. Instead of just dreaming you will go a bit deeper and see all the obstacles that stand in your way of making this dream a reality. Not in a negative way but in a realistic way. Check the steps out and see for yourself.

Dream – Think about something you REALLY – like REALLY want. Don’t think beyond the wish. Don’t worry about thinking about the how, what, where, and when part, just think about your desired wish. Maybe you want to lose 15lbs. or maybe you just want more overall health. Don’t worry about being specific just make sure it REALLY matters to you.

Envision - See yourself achieving this desire. Maybe see yourself in a pretty new dress you have been dieing to wear. Or maybe you see yourself more active with your family because you have more energy as your health has increased.  Really take the time to put a full picture to your dream.

Seek – Try to see where in your life you can make small adjustments that will help you achieve this desire. Maybe when you grocery shop you stop buying potato chips and instead purchase cut up veggies. Seek those roadblocks in your life that can be stunting your progress.

Investigate – This is probably the most important part. Ask yourself this very important question What is the biggest thing holding me back?  This is not always easy – dreaming is definitely more fun for the brain, but this is so important, especially if you want to be a part of that 8%. We need to ask our self these critical questions so we can discover what is the “it” that is preventing us from our success. This can be emotional as it can be something connected to a deeper emotional barricade.  It can be habits that you struggle to break. Or maybe it is fear or your lack of self worth. See, not as fun as dreaming, but this discovering can make a huge difference in your success of implementing your wish.

Reveal – Once you have identified your biggest obstacle take time to mentally reveal all the scenario’s that could possibly get in your way of success. Maybe it will be willpower at a party where there are cookies, cake, and wine? Maybe it’s your inability to believe that you can. Or worse yet maybe its your inability to see how worthy you are to live your best life healthy and happy from the InsideOut!? Go there – as uncomfortable as it might be, see it, feel it, and own it. Allow yourself to experience the obstacle and reveal all the different areas of your life that potentially will rear its ugly head.

Evolve – Now that you have your dream in place. You have envisioned your life with the desired outcome and you have investigated your obstacles and revealed all the different ways you can actually fail at achieving this desire now create a plan that will ensure you allow yourself to evolve into the person you desire and so deserve to be. Create a plan of various scenarios like “If this happens, then I will do______” Have a plan in place that will prepare you for any situation and armor you with strength to make the best choices possible so that you can evolve into the person you so desire to be.

  In this 6-step process we are able to visualize our dreams but also see the obstacles that can potentially get in our way. For many, they have never gone here before, so they may learn incredible things about what is blocking them. This is called positive pessimism and it has been known to help many people break the failure cycle.  I have seen it firsthand with my clients. When, together, we go through different scenarios, the issues and the outcomes, I have seen my clients be empowered to make the best choices for their life and their fat loss journey, even in situations they never thought they could possibly be successful in. 

  Dr. Gabrielle Oettingen, author of Rethinking Positive Thinking: The Science Of Motivation, calls this mental contrasting.  She states, "What we've found, in the many studies we've done, is that mental contrasting could help a lot. It means that I can take these positive fantasies and then shift gears and say, 'What holds me back from meeting these positive fantasies? What is it in me that prevents this?'” When we take the desired outcome and we challenge it with all different obstacles we see that there is a need to put the work in, we see there is a reality of hard work and commitment that is needed to make our dreams a reality. We are no longer complacent, we are motivated to dig our heals in and make happiness happen!

  In less than 24-hours 2015 will be here. There are New Year’s Resolution that will be starting with a failure rate of 92% - WOW!!! Do things differently this year. Follow my 6-step process D.E.S.I.R.E and make your dreams a reality.

  Do you have a desire to lose weight? I have put together a 28-Day Fat Blaster program that will help jumpstart your fat loss desires. In this program we will do a TON of mental contrasting. We need to see those obstacles that get in the way of our mindset and our overall health. If you are looking to make successful changes in 2015 this program is definitely for you.

  Click here for all the details >>>>>>>http://bit.ly/1zN9Jxl

  Remember, it is not necessarily about a New Year – New You, it is more about discovering who you are and what obstacles stand in your way. Make this New Year’s about allowing the greatness you have always possessed to be revealed from the InsideOut!

  In Health & Fitness,

Maryalice

[insideoutwellness]

What Everybody Ought To Know... About The Difference Between Wants Versus Needs. 11-19-14

Hey! Hope you are all well  - this week on the blog I am talking about wants versus needs. I have been thinking about this a lot lately. In this day and age, we humans tend to want for so much. Materialism is robbing us in many ways; in fact it is one of the top 10 issues facing this generation. But, how could we expect anything else? We have constant reminders 24/7 of endless ‘things’ that will so call “enhance” our lives; cell phones, fancy cars, computers, and then there is elaborate vacations, homes, clothing and more. It is no longer just commercials that advertise all these amazing life enhancing ‘things’ but we now have it right at our fingertips with cell phones and tablets. There is an abundance of things for us to want and when it is so easily accessible it makes the yearning for it even stronger.

 But what happens when we mistake our wants for our needs? I believe many people think they need something to make their life better but yet once they get it, their life doesn’t change. I am sure many of us have said, at one time or another, something like “When I buy that treadmill I will be able to lose these 10lbs and then I will be at my perfect weight.” Or “When I buy that house my life will be more organized because we will have more room, and then we will be more happy because we will be settled” But can all of this ‘stuff’ truly make us happier? I think we both know the answer to that. Things don’t create happiness – true happiness comes from within.  Wants are optional; they are not a key component to living your best life. Needs, on the other hand, are not optional, they are key ingredients to creating your best life.

So, how does one even know what they need?

  I believe this is the missing link. So many people have allowed themselves to get so caught up and distracted with wants. They have gotten bitten by the ‘keeping up with the Jones’s’ disease. This constant urge for wanting more eventually gets the better of them – even worse, they become less and less aware of what they actually need.  Depression, frustration, lack of focus, tension, and even addiction can be the result.  They are unable to see their needs because of how driven they are by their wants.

  I conducted a survey recently and asked over 5,000 people about this very topic. There was an overwhelming response and I was amazed at the lack of direction most people feel. One of the questions was about ranking how they felt their life was going. 66.67% of the people felt “Some days I just feel like something has to give.”  15.15% of the people were willing to take risks to live out their dreams and 18.18% felt most days they were living mindfully and living their best version of themselves.  I believe that the 18.18% of the people who are living mindfully are more in touch with their needs versus their wants. Most people who live their lives with a clear understanding of their needs tend to live more mindfully – they have a clear direction and they understand their fundamental purpose for being on this earth. They feel more fulfilled, peaceful, and passionate about their life.

So, how can we all be more like the 18.18% of the people who feel they are living their best life? Here are some ways to discover the difference between your wants versus your needs:

1)   Get in tune with your core values. Who are you at your core? How do you want to be remembered? What legacy do you want to leave behind? This is really important to think about. Do you want to be remembered as the person in the big house, with the fancy cars, and the awesome jewelry? Or is there more to you? If so, what is that? Think about your values and morals and in that you will discover your needs for living your best life.

2)   Focus on your priorities. What are they? Who do they include? How much time, in any given week, do you give to nurturing those priorities? This is a great way to gauge if you are living a life fulfilling your wants or meeting your needs.

3)   Think about your younger more innocent self. Who were you then? What made you light up with happiness? What mattered most to you then? Compare yourself now to your younger self. What are some simple characteristics that you may have let go? What was it about your younger self that let the simple things in life make you joy-filled? It is amazing how our younger version can teach us so much about our current life. Our younger self can actually help us get back to our core values.

4)   What are some things that fire you up!? In a good way!! What are you passionate about? What gets you excited? What are some things that when you take time to do them, they come easy to you and you enjoy every second? Those things that time flies by when you engage in them. These are the things that relax your mind and fire up your spirit. There are few things that truly spark the fire of our spirit. Quite often we forget what these things are because we tend to let these go first, as ‘we have so many other things to do, we are soooo busy!’ Take some time to think about the things you love – these help us focus on what matters most and help us live our best life.

  Another question on my survey was “If time nor money were not a concern, what would you choose to do with your life everyday?” Think about that…We live in a ‘wanting’ society and so we have allowed time and money to dictate our outcomes – our happiness. What if neither one was a concern? Life would look incredibly different for all of us, or at least many of us. By no means am I suggesting you say ‘screw it’ - quit your job and go back pack through Europe...Although, how much fun would that be!!!!??? What I am saying is when we understand our bigger purpose we then understand how to meet our needs and live our life fulfilling them first and therefore, wanting for almost nothing.

How freeing and amazing is that!?

Every client I work with answers a client intake. The typical lifestyle questions about sleep and stress, weight and measurements, and of course exercise and nutrition are addressed. But, the very MOST important question I ask before starting my program is this: “WHAT IS YOUR PURPOSE FOR WANTING TO SEEK A HEALTHIER LIFESTYLE?”

  The way in which a person answers this question reveals more to me than any other question I ask. Why? Because there is a distinct difference between someone who has a strong emotional purpose versus someone who has a strong desire or want. Those who have a strong purpose tend to do extremely well not only on my program but long-term in changing their life from the inside out. I started to see a trend at around my 35th client. I would have people that wrote almost an essay on why this is so important to them. Claiming their love for their children and their spouse, and even wanting to respect their body and give it all it needs to live healthy and fit long-term. There were strong emotional reasons to why they needed to re-claim their health. They had a strong purpose. Compared to others who would write one or two sentences about all the different sizes in their closet and how they just wanted to fit into one of them. There are also those who are on a mission to slim down for a wedding or a vacation. Can you see the difference between the want versus the need?

  More and more I was seeing a critical correlation; those who live with purpose are able to stay more focused, more resilient, and more dedicated to their process. Compared to those who did not, they were the ones who were often frustrated, complaining about food and workouts, and even worse would completely disappear by week 5. They were unable to stay committed because they lacked purpose – their emotional anchor for staying in it.

  This got me thinking. I myself had a purpose revelation back in 2009 and I took specific steps to help me discover my BIG WHY! So I thought, ‘why not share this with the world?’ I decided to take my experience, my thoughts, and my inspiration and put it all on paper. I created a program to help people understand their purpose so that once and for all they could live their best life, from the InsideOut. They didn’t need to fall victim to the ‘wanting’ society anymore.  I created an 8-week DIY called Pursuing Purpose: A journey To Discover Your BIG Why!

I have had the pleasure of launching this program first in my private continuity membership group and the results have been amazing. People came to amazing revelations about their life and about where they want their life to be. What I love most about this program, it’s not about discovering your next big career move or changing your entire life course, it is more about discovering who you are, at your core so that no matter what you choose to do in your life you will do it really well. You will live your best life because you will be your very best version of you!

  If you feel like ‘something has to give’ or if you often wonder “where is my life going?” this program is for you. If you are looking for focus and a clear direction, you will find it through this process. If you want to be your very best version, but you are just not 100% sure what that means or how that looks, this is for you. Or if you are like me and are simply a person who likes to seek and learn, you will absolutely love this process.

  This is a 'go at your own pace' process. No two people will have the same experience, so although it is 8-week’s I encourage you to take all the time you need.  Everything will be delivered straight to your email in PDF form with a short video synopsis of the current weeks goals.  It is an amazing journey that will allow you to see what your needs truly are, assess if you are meeting them, and learn ways to live your best life – your very best version of you.

When we know our purpose, we have a clear direction and a profound understanding of what that requires. We no longer allow the pulls of the ‘wanting’ society to distract us. We are empowered to take risks to attain our dreams. We are more organized and focused. Stress and anxious thinking are minimized. We confidently live our best life.

  You owe this to yourself and those you love. Heck, invite others to take the journey with you ~ the more the merrier!

  Join me for the next 8-Weeks and let me guide you through your journey to discovering your true purpose ~ your BIG Why! Start living your best life by being the very best version of you from the InsideOut! All the details are here:

I look forward to guiding you through this process ~ what an amazing journey it will be.

  In Health & Fitness,

Maryalice xo

[mindsetmoments]

More Will Be Revealed - When The Time Is Right! 9-29-14

There are times in our lives when we just simply need to practice being ok with not knowing. We are not always going to have the answers. We may even be down right confused about which direction our life is going. This is actually okay. Although it may not feel comfortable it's okay to not know. Allowing yourself to just be in the moment and trust that more will be revealed will actually help you lean into your process rather than fight it. The more we question or judge our current situation the more challenging it can become. The need to control it or fix it as opposed to just being open to it. We can't forget that with every life situation there is a bigger lesson. Good or bad, all life events help us evolve and grow. Of course this is all a choice.  You can choose to see the good in it all or you can choose to be a victim in it all - that is totally up to you. Either way, there will eventually be a lesson revealed and a chance to become a better version of you. The key is trusting that clarity will come. Maybe you need to distract yourself, call a friend, get into a really great book, or maybe prayer will help settle your anxiety...Having a clear defined plan may be the only way you know and it is the only way you can operate. So, yes lack of clarity will be an issue for you. BUT - this doesn't need to own you. You can still live your life, have hope, and believe that all will be ok. This takes practice, but if you really allow yourself to trust your process and lean into your current circumstances - more will be revealed and not only that - you will be able to stay in the moment and still see all that is wonderful in your life. Today, practice allowing yourself to be comfortable with not knowing but trust clarity will come and more will be revealed, when the time is right. xo

[mindsetmoments]

Struggles, Stress, and Thinking 9-22-14

I often speak to my clients about stress. What the different layers of stress look like. How stress affects people differently. Even the difference in how people look at stress and the things that actually cause them stress. This is different for each person. Some people have the ability to deal with some heavy stuff and just keep on keeping on. While others crumble whenthe slightest thing goes off course. I am not judging one being better than the other, this is simply stating a fact. We are all different when it comes to life and how we deal with the punches that life can throw. What I do find interesting, from teens to adults is, people who excessively stress are those who have little faith is something hire then themselves. These are the people who just get stuck in thought - they just spew over and over in their minds about all that is going wrong. With little faith there aren't many options so where else would one choose to turn other then their own thoughts? It's as if the more they think about it the stressor the better it will be! Sounds crazy right? But don't we all suffer from this in one way or another? I know I am guilty of this. I know when I am stuck in excessive thinking I am exercising very little faith. Almost as if I have to think so much so, because maybe God screwed up. Or maybe if I think excessively about this one thing, God will somehow change it for me. LOL - it is a funny way to think about it, but in actuality isn't that exactly what we are doing with all that thinking? Isn't it our way of trying to take back control of the situation? I know when I get like this, it is exactly what I am trying to do. I feel as though my world is so out of control and I am not 100% sure what I actually need to do to get in back in control, so instead I just obsessively think about it. All the while only perpetuating the issue! I don't trust myself, I don't trust God, and I most definitely don't trust my world - so instead I just spew! But isn't it all a waste of time? Yes and no. I think it is a process that we all have to go through. Many of us are dealing with some HEAVY stuff. Cancer/illness, death, loss of jobs, loss of homes, addiction, and so on. This stuff is pretty hard not to excessively think about. For some people just trying to digest the reality of it all is unfathomable...So, what I often to say to myself, my friends/family, and my clients is this.  Life is a beautiful gift. The sun that beats down upon our face can inspire us to shine our own light to help brighten the world. The struggles that are placed in front of us can make us crumble or can expand our heart to become more humble and compassionate. The fears we face can empower us to become stronger and more empathetic to those who face similar things or they can take away our spirit. It is all a choice. A choice to stay stuck and spew or believe in yourself and your hire power and embrace your life. Stress is unavoidable but it doesn't have to own you.  Today, accept your stress and allow your process to unfold. Spew for a bit and then start making choices that will help move your forward. Maybe it is just the simple choice of accepting your stress. Maybe it is making the conscious choice to have faith. Whatever it is for you, really allow yourself to believe in the fact that this too shall pass. I like to ask myself 'what is the worst thing that can happen....if that were to happen would I survive?' The answer is always YES!! xo

[insideoutwellness]

Train The Brain ~ Transform The Body! 9-8-14

Hey Everyone!

One recent topic of discussion on the InsideOut Wellness Facebook page was all about mindset. The more I do what I do as a nutrition and lifestyle coach, the more I realize mindset is one of the biggest rocks of them all. When we have a clear and balanced mindset anything is possible. This is not always easy. We humans are really good at judging ourselves and assessing all the things we could have or should have done better. With that said I don’t believe mindset is something that can be fixed per se – I would say it is a practice!

  So, how does one go about creating a mindset practice? Awareness is key.  The more aware we are of our thoughts the better we will be at really understanding the messages we are sending to our body. Here are some normal mindset “trap doors” that many of us fall victim too. I myself can relate to many of them. Not until I became aware of just how consuming these were did I make some serious adjustments in mindset!

  The Judge and Jury mindset! We have no problem judging ourselves all over the place. 24/7 we have something to say about how we could have done something better or different. There is this innate ability we all possess to see the negative in everything we do versus seeing all we have done well in a day. For example if you were to stop right now and look at your week you would have a much easier time picking out the one or two things you shouldn’t have eaten versus all the good quality food you did eat…right?!  This mindset does a fantastic job in keeping us small. It allows us to wallow in our frustration rather than give ourselves the benefit of the doubt and just move on past our mistakes. When we get caught up in this mindset we are unable to learn and grow. In order to move past a mistake you have to allow yourself the opportunity see it for what it was and let it go. You have to practice taking the time to see the good that you are.

NGE – Not Good Enough mindset! At the end of the day it all starts and ends here. We all feel not good enough. There is that little voice inside our head that pulsates just how not good enough we are! I don’t think there is one person in this entire world that feels 100% worthy and I wish I had some magical way of solving this, but unfortunately I don’t. What I will say is this. NGE syndrome is something we all have. We deal with this at different times. Some may feel it most when they have to speak in front people. Others may feel it when they are about to go on an interview. Still others feel it every time they step on a scale. It is an overwhelming feeling and one that can really wreak havoc on our mindset. There is no fix as a lot of this is unconscious but the more aware of it you become the less power you will give it. It is when we feel NGE and we lament on it, this is when it steals our power and makes us live out our NGE-ness.  So sit with it. Recognize when it rears its head. Say out loud to yourself “Oh - yeah, I am feeling those NGE feelings again!” The more you try to fix it the bigger it will become. Practice allowing yourself to see it, own it, and be with it. This will make the ‘fire’ of NGE feelings less and less intense. Yes – this is a practice and one that takes a lot of time, but so worth implementing in your life.

The Pessimist Mindset! This is when you are in that negative state and no matter what you do or what anyone else does – life is just plain horrible. There is no light at the end of the tunnel. There is no hope. You are stuck. But this is a choice. I say to my clients, this is fine for about a day, and then you need to move on. We all have these valleys – it is totally normal but one way or another you have to make the choice to move past it. Ask yourself key questions:

If this never happened to me who would I be? Maybe this struggle will actually make you a better person. More compassionate, more open to life and what it has to offer, and more free to offer life all you have to give! The ‘valleys’ of life suck while there, but they are profound and we should be open to the lessons they teach us.

Worst case scenario – ask yourself when you are in these moments of gloom and doom “Can I survive?” I think you will be amazed that the answer will always be YES. We are stronger than we give ourselves credit for. We have the ability to see the good in a sucky situation; we just need to make the choice to ‘go-there’. This too shall pass!

Perspective – again instead of seeing all the bad that is right in front of you stop and assess. Maybe there is a bigger purpose. Maybe you are being tested to practice giving yourself or someone else the benefit of the doubt. Maybe this will actually change your life for the better. There is always something worse that can be happening, keep this in perspective and take small steps in addressing your current situation. You are the only one with unrealistic expectations of you. Breathe. Take time to keep things in perspective and know this is not the end of the world. You will survive and in fact you may even thrive.

  There are endless “trap doors” when it comes to mindset. Will we ever be strong enough? Skinny enough? Smart enough? Happy enough? Wealthy enough? I think we get pulled down by our unrealistic expectations. We expect perfection but perfection is the enemy of good. There is no such thing as perfect. Mindset is a large component of my 12-Week Radiate program. I find the people who focus on working on their mindset tend to have the greatest success. When we train the brain the body is more willing to transform. We have to remember how powerful our thoughts are, they can empower us to change or they can keep us small and revoke any power we once had. One exercise I do with my clients is discovering who and what is robbing them of their energy and who and what is giving them energy. Social MVP’s versus Social Vampire’s. It is an amazing exercise and it reveals where a lot of their mental energy is going on any given day. These are the things that are bigger than any food plan or exercise regiment. Radiate addresses them all. When we focus on the WHOLE person it is amazing the results we get from the InsideOut!

I look forward to working with you.

All the details are here -----> http://bit.ly/1aRXMpJ We start Monday September 15th!

  In Health & Fitness,

Maryalice

[mindsetmoments]

And We...THINK...THINK...THINK... 8-4-14

Pin it and share it here: http://bit.ly/1v3xHmq

Sometimes we can become so overwhelmed that our brains are left with nothing left to do but just think...We keep recycling the same thoughts. There is a ton of anxiety and we just THINK...THINK...THINK....

We can all relate to this feeling. You feel foggy. You physically feel heavy with emotion. To make a decision is almost impossible and we just THINK....THINK....THINK....

I saw something recently that went something like "What does stressful thinking resolve?" In reality we all know the answer. There are no solutions when we are STUCK in thought. Some may argue that in order to get yourself past this you have to THINK of something. I would argue it is that very act of THINKING that is keeping us stuck.

We often will continue to think about something as a means of control. 'The more I think about this the more I have some as-semblance of control' - so not the case. In fact when we work so hard to control things like our thoughts, our food, people in our lives - there is a direct correlation to just how OUT OF CONTROL we feel.

Life happens - it happens without any of our input. Sometimes there are things thrown at us that can completely blindside us. Illness, death, even the happiness of a new baby. These life altering experiences can invoke that feeling of being OUT OF CONTROL...and so we THINK...THINK....THINK....

So, what is the solution, how does one get beyond all the thinking and the feelings of being out of control?

First you have to recognize what you are doing. Awareness of the fact that you are spending all this time in thought because you have fear or feelings of no control. Then all you need to do is breathe!

Yes - breathe!

There are moments in our life when our lives are beyond our control. We don't know what the outcome will be and we have to wait. There are times when relationships are suffering conflict and turmoil and you feel no cohesiveness and so you have to wait. There are not always quick fixes and this is where the over thinking comes in - we want a fix and we want it now. Sometimes the best we can do for that day is don't forget to breathe, lean into the struggle and just BE!

Today, remember life comes with it's ups and downs. There are times when those downs can get the better of us and this is O-K! Try not to judge it, fix it, or scurry around to change it - sometimes the best thing to do is lean in and allow that struggle to lead you to a better place and just simply BREATHE! xo

[mindsetmoments]

What's It Truly About? 12-17-13

Sometimes in life we need to think beyond our wants and needs. This is a great time of year to practice. We naturally get caught up in the coming and going's of life and this can create lots of distraction. We feel too busy, we are too busy, and no matter what there is that feeling of being overwhelmed. If you are feeling that way can you imagine how the people in our lives are feeling?

As a mother, there are so many times during these busy weeks that I walk away thinking, "I could of responded better." or "I should really STOP and just listen, put my phone down, shut my laptop etc and just listen." This feeling of go go go is all self inflicted. When I really step back and look at it I always end up thinking the same thing "Is this really what this time of year is all about?" Truly it is not.

Maybe I want the holidays to be perfect so go go go is all I know. The thoughts I have created around the holidays, the house needs to look a certain way, the tree has to be just right, all kids need to get a certain amount gifts, and so on, these are self created thoughts. This is all the things I have established in my thinking ~ my story. But in this story am I really serving those I love? In actuality I may be taking away from them.

I love traditions, this is part of my story ~ my thoughts. Though lately, I have taken some time to evaluate these "traditions" or maybe they are self inflicted "expectations"?! because I see how they are more about my needs and wants and less about those around me. I have to say, allowing things to just BE is so refreshing. To not have to have everything perfect, to allow others to help with holiday responsibilities and to just do the best I can ~ it actually makes this time of year so much more enjoyable.

Today ~ are you in go go go mode because of your wants and needs...the story you have created about the holiday season? Is this serving you and the people you love? Is there room in your thoughts to change things up a bit, to ask for help, to slow down so that you can truly be available and engaged to what this time of year is really about? Think about it :) xo