#intellectual developmental disability

[dhddmods]

I fear that some of ya'll need to remember that intellectually disabled adults with high support needs can still be allosexual allolibidoist. Like. A lot of them still want to masturbate, consume sexual content, and have sex. I'm seeing an uptick lately in purism directed towards people with IDDs, and its worrying me.

I understand being concerned about ableists taking advantage of people with IDDs, I really do, and I know its a horrible thing that happens to them a lot.

But you also need to keep in mind that this is a group of adults who suffer from severe infantilization from the general public, and are treated as solely incapable of understanding their surroundings.

And yes, not all people with IDDs are aware enough of what is happening to consent to sex (still, these people may masturbate or consume sexual content! And they still shouldn't be infantilized, they're still adults!) But many people with IDDs are more than aware.

IDDs do not make a person asexual non-libidoist. People with IDDs can be acespec or on the hypolibidoist spectrum, but they aren't inherently that way.

(IDDs also don't make a person non-partnering - a lot of people with IDDs want to have partnerships, whether theyre sexual, romantic, or nonrose!)

[fuzzytalescomics]

Accommodation ≠ infantalization

[this-is-infantilization]

When I went to a psychiatrist for my autism evaluation (age 15), they sent in a med student to do the initial "are you depressed?" charts with me. The psych office was in an unfamiliar building and I was completely overwhelmed and had temporarily lost speech, so I couldn't respond to his questions about the chart. He chose to react to this by talking to me in a baby voice and asking if I knew what "depression" was, and said "it's when you're very sad for a very long time." I have not felt white-hot rage quite like what I felt then before or since.

Even if I had been nonverbal, it still would have been completely inappropriate for him to assume that I was intellectually disabled as well. I know he meant well, but that just made me so angry. It was especially frustrating because I was physically incapable of correcting him, because I could not speak. Easily top five worst medical experiences I have had.

This is infantilization. I'm sorry this happened to you. You shouldn't have had to be treated in such a way and that doctor should've had consequences.

Also just fyi, even if you had an IDD he shouldn't have talked to you in baby talk. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect and with no infantilization. It's one thing to consent to it/explicitly say to someone that you don't care/that you like it if they talk to you that way. But no one, and I mean no one deserves to be dehumanized in that way. As infantilizing is a way of dehumanizing people, because children aren't really seen or respected as people until they're adults.

[this-is-infantilization]

It's not towards me, but at my high school, I see a girl with some form of IDD (I think. Idk her diagnosis) and the teacher who's always with her always talks to her like she's 5. They don't ever listen when she's upset, even when it's reasonable, and they talk to her in a babyish voice.

Just talk to people in a normal voice it's not that hard.

This is infantilization.

[this-is-infantilization]

the number of special needs homeschool students whose parents just...don't put effort in teaching and just go "welp, i guess if they can't learn the way i'm able or willing to teach them, they're just not able to learn anything!" and so the child is left doing nothing, which, for a kid is fun! but i wonder how they're doing now that we're adults since they were like 8-10 and barely reading (which. like. being able to read isn't a measure of worth but genuinely how can ppl make it through life in this world without some type of literacy or other skill makes it nigh impossible to live with some type of independence)

This is infantilization and ableism. As children deserve the right to education even if they struggle more than what's considered "normal". And if the parents don't know how to educate their child home schooled they should find alternatives like pecial Ed schools, etc. It's important to note that parents being financially incapable of it is an exception and understandable as long as the parents do as much as they can to educate themselves to be able to teach their children whatever they can.

This situation is also parental abuse. As not providing education to your own child because you're not willing to is breaking the universal right of education.

[this-is-infantilization]

my sister knows i'm autistic and treats me like she's way smarter because of it, despite being younger (and less successful than i was when i actually was her age)

she'll say things as a joke and then immediately try to explain what it means, since i'm sooooo bad at social cues (i am, but less so in context of jokes, more so in context of a conversation)

like no, i'm correcting you for saying something that was offensive, i get what you were going for, it wasn't funny.

This is infantilization of autistic people.

I'd recommend taking it out with her and making your boundaries clear. If she doesn't accept that and tries to change her behavior, if you're minors and are in a safe situation to do so I'd talk about this with your guardian/s and ask for changes, if not able you are to decide what you'll do with that information and how it impacts your relationship with her.

Just remember that 1. Being smart/intelligence can depend on the field/thing (emotional/life/academic/social/etc) (And age isn't even rellevant in this, it's subjective and different for everyone), 2. Being or not being what's considered smart is a neutral act, one is not better for it. And 3. Successfulness/smartness aren't good ways to put value into people's opinions/what they say, but the actual thing, it's basis and the result. This ideas are very ableist against people with cognitive and intellectual disabilities.

[this-is-infantilization]

Possibly not an example but I've been recalling multiple childhood interactions I had with peers who were stunned to learn that intellectually disabled children grow up to be intellectually disabled adults.

This is infantilization of people with intellectual disabilities.

@this-is-anti-idd

Which often come from erasure and invisibility in media of disabled adults.