Jan 29, 2024
I think that being autistic got me fucked up
#/pos#but also like vent ish#ok to rb#system babbles#my special interest rn is things that harm me. get out of here who let that sink in#like what do you want im fascinated by the degradation of my body in response to trauma#and the internal lashing out of an already neurospicy brain under incomprehensible suffering#all living things respons in insane overdone ways in panic response and we dont have the research to fully comprehend#even physically threatening immediate situations so how fucking interesting is it to consider abstract threats and the effect that has on a#autistic brain addicted to the internet in a cptsd way with osdd with schizo symptoms and all this other stuff#on TOP of addiction in the family chronic illness EDS (and its ties to autism) and just so so so many things im so so fascinated#but i take fucking psychic damage even considering this stuff or remembering anything so autistic hyperfixation sessions get painful as hel#and i can't even leave i have to let the interest brain pick over articles and info vida until it calms down and buddy its trembling#autism#neurodivergent#special interest#psychology#inthrum bickerman#btw im still in front day 42 fucking laughing my ASS OFF TAKE THAT