Introvert Problem #3
Ordering drinks at a bar.
It has been a very long time since I have been brave enough to approach this seemingly basic social task. Fortunately, being married means I have a permanent beverage purchaser and can safely avoid the anxiety inducing chore of ordering a drink at a bar.
I went to a brewery recently with a friend who is still quite new to me. She is a self-professed introvert, but a lot of people say that without really understanding what it means.
Not wanting to seem like too much of a freak, I jokingly said, “Ugh, I hate ordering drinks at the bar. I know it’s silly - I mean, what can really go wrong?” I threw in a few “ha ha’s” for good measure.
Her response backed her initial claim of being an INFJ, “Oh my god, SO MANY things could go wrong!”
I breathed a sigh of relief and we spent the rest of the afternoon taking turns approaching the bar.
If you are unfamiliar with this particular social anxiety, allow me to share with you all the things that can go wrong:
1. I will trip on the way to the bar. Everyone watching me with laugh at me and assume I am a drunken idiot.
2. I will have to stand shyly in the queue, too polite and shy to be assertive and approach an empty space at the bar. If I approach that empty space, I run the risk of being yelled at for pushing in the queue. Anyone within earshot will think I’m a jerk, even though I am not.
3. Despite repeatedly rehearsing my drink order in my head, I will somehow stumble on the words when I’m ordering. The bartender will think I am either drunk or stupid when I am neither.
4. I will hand over the wrong amount of money and I will have to find more in a panic. This is why I will always prefer to hand over a note that is well over what I would expect to pay. Better to leave with piles of change than be left looking like an idiot rifling through my handbag.
5. The bartender will say something like, “I like your wallet” and I will reply with, “You too.” When I’m 80 years old, I will replay this conversation in my head as I lie in bed.
6. Obviously, I could spill the drinks on the way back.
In conclusion, find yourself a partner who is okay with doing all the drink orders. Then, make sure you time the consumption of your beverage to coincide with theirs, so they don’t have to make extra trips to the bar just for you. It’s just considerate.
