#iocd

[de-solat-e]

I thought I was getting better but I seriously want to end my life right now. My brother and cousin molested me when I was little and I tried to heal but the woman who ended up being my teacher forced me to relive that trauma, to the detriment of myself. She forced me to practice sex magic with my brothers and mothers energy field and now I feel this unwanted arousal because she raped me. I have schizophrenia and the teacher is dead, I knew I could speak to spirits but I didn't realize I could speak to dead people as well. I just feel so broken and disgusting, like I was raped again and forcibly stimulated against my will and now I get poked and prodded by my schizophrenia and my brother's and mother's spirit (nvm the rest of my family). I didn't even choose this I didn't out of nowhere find them attractive but now I'm being stimulated again and it feels so wrong. All of the spirits of people and deceased and shapeshifter won't leave me alone. I saved my medication so I can overdose and I feel like now is the time to do it.

[de-solat-e]

So Trump is president and is thinking about cutting benefits for veterans and cutting disability. I don't work and rely solely on this income because I can't work because the anxiety and disgust and shame I've developed because of my schizophrenia is so unbearable. I have some money saved up to last me a little while and a car I can live in I guess but nothing will help the ocd 😭 like I legit want everything to end but even my schizophrenia threatened me not to kill myself and idk what's waiting on the other side. Like I'm really spiritual and think the voice is a spirit whose harassing me and forcing me to do these sexually perverse acts with all these things like family, animals, children (not physically). I just don't know what to do

[demonized-ocd-culture-is]

Iocd sucks and its never talked about. I have consistent intrusive thoughts about my brother, and its just so isolating.

i understand you , and you are not alone !!

[alilloserboy]

If you bully ppl bc of their POCD, ZOCD or other similar types of shit, you are evil and I will find you.

[stellarcider]

hint for everyone who has real fucked up sexual/violent OCD obsessions: it feels real for everybody. yes, that real. you might have have unnerving sensations in your groin, in your fingertips, in your lips that make you feel like a set trap. you might understand the emotional logic of why somebody would like and do the things you're thinking about. in your hysteria, you might generate justifications for the act in your mind, unsure of whether you actually mean them. after however long you've been thinking about this one thing, you might feel completely numb to its horror and let your festering imagination play out beside you with no opposition. you might have thought so many bad things that you know you have crossed a line, where now, things forever cannot be undone or unknown. knowing you're horrible, you might not care.

and still, none of it is true.

in a year or three or more, you may know that the roiling mess of your brain isn't what you are, that you do not have that awful secret, and that you are never going back to believing it.

[demonized-ocd-culture-is]

IOCD culture is isolating yourself from your family so you don't have intrusive thoughts about them

i do the same thing when my intrusive thoughts get really bad . you’re not alone anon <3

[regretfulrain]

If you compare POCD to Pedophilia I hate you.

If you compare ZOCD to Zoophilia I hate you.

If you compare IOCD to liking incest I hate you.

If you think that intrusive thoughts are desires then I hate you.

[obsessive-mh96]

Quiet really is violent. I remeber dealing with my compulsions, thoughts, rituals, and fear all on my own during my pre-OCD days. I remember thinking I was not me for thinking the things I did. That I wasn't a good person for having these thoughts. I wanted to end it. But. I spoke up. I talked to my mom, my brother, my psychology professor from college and from there started getting a little better. The point of this is speak up. Find someone you trust and tell them about what's happening, no this doesn't mean you have to confess to every horrible, sexual, and scary thought you've had. It just means tell someone you think you may have OCD. It'll get you one step closer from freeing yourself from the shackles OCD keeps you in. Tell your mom, brother, sister, shhhhit you can even tell me. It doesn't matter just do it. You deserve freedom, you deserve happiness, and chances are that speaking up will lead you to the key that frees you. STAY STRONG ❤️ -M.I.H