Is that even a thing anymore? What happened to flirting everyday with the same person as you grow old and face challenges together just you and him? What happened to real dates where you sit down and talk and laugh and play with each other without making it to the bedroom after an amazing night; it ends just with a hug and/or a butterflies in your stomach inducing kiss, that is so short and sweet it leaves you both wanting more the next time (because there will be a next time)? First of all... what happen to simple concepts of communication? I feel like I am growing up in a broken system. One that makes you question if the right one exists anymore, or if someone broke him before I could get to him first. I grew up with this dream, which I have naturally had to alter and rework to make as realistic as I can bare without taking all desire out of the picture, because what fun would that be? I know he will not check every. single. box I formulated, and that is something that is worked through overtime, but can he at least check a couple boxes? We live in this world where we feel like we must bottle up our feelings, and to do that, we just turn to anyone for a couple hours, but do we think about what happens when they leave? Sure, they made you feel good in the moment, but we all know they leave and we are still stuck in the same place we always were. We all never leave that place, not even with the person we are trying to use to feel good. Instead, we are just pulling each other into that place. I did that for a long time. It was not until I found someone who was doing it to me, while I was the one who felt he pulled me out of that place that I felt pain. Real pain. It was not until he used me for bits at a time to make himself feel better, that I recognized what I really wanted moving forward. I want something real; it does not flee from hard times; communicates sincerely and consistently; pushes to make both parties do good and be what they want and should be. Is that still possible? Are you out there? I will be waiting for you.