Brushing My Teeth
-
And sometimes I think,
If you could just be who I believe you to be,
Then everything in the world would fall into place.
Then I would be able to sleep,
Since I met you,
And happily ever after followed suit,
But instead, I am sick.
I cannot place such a burden on you
When you will never even know
The shape of my shoulders,
And I taste ash in the evenings
In the moonlight I once adored
And I feel as if I'm clawing and ripping my way
Towards happier memories,
You deserve happier memories,
And some of these emotions,
The sticky ones,
The ones that make me sink like a rock,
That lead to ego death and torment,
That make me wish I could write you one way
And see it come true-
These are my responsibility.
Sometimes,
Even nightmares are a relief.
Waking up feeling a burden lifted from my chest.
Because at least in those,
I allow myself to cry and scream,
And I do not analyze every little bit of it
For anything more.
In my dreams,
It is just that.
I weep.
x
