#it feels so wrong

[starr-jazz]

the amount of ai ads these days make me nauseous

[the-satirists-love-song]

I DON'T HAVE LIVING THE DREAM OR A SWITCH FOR THAT MATTER. BUT I HAVE A 3DS AND A COPY OF THE ORIGINAL TOMODACHI LIFE... CUSTOMIZATION IN IT SURE IS LIMITED

SO THE SUCCESS OF CREATING AN EXISTING CHARACTER IN IT... CAN VARY...

LIKE OH MY GOD!! LOOK I MADE SEAM THEY'RE SO CUTE!!!

AND THEN THERE'S THE FREAK.

[anything-for-my-moons]

"he can't see without his glasses"- a fic on remus at james and lily's funeral

word count- 995 words

so @atrixtraa decided to comment THIS on one of my posts and i wanted to write that scenario out since it's been stuck in my head. also, based on the funeral scene from "my girl"!! i watched the clip while writing this and cried hahahahahah

tws: major character death since like james and lily are dead, alcohol usage, hurt without comfort 😣

Remus was numb.

He was completely, utterly, numb.

It had been exactly 4 days and 8 hours since the 31’st of October, 1981. 4 days and 8 hours since James and Lily Potter had exited this world. 4 days and 8 hours since Sirius had caused their deaths.

You might think that Remus would at least flinch at the thought that what used to be the love of his life was betraying him again. But Remus was empty. Hollow. Remus could not feel, and he wanted to keep it that way. 

Remus was also missing James and Lily Potter’s funeral. Because what good was there in displaying his pain for all to see? What good was there in catching the last glimpses of James and Lily’s dead bodies before they were permanently buried 6 feet underground? It would only confirm that this wasn’t some bad dream. That this wasn’t one of his nightmares that he would be awoken from.

Remus had originally planned to go to the funeral, he wasn’t that heartless. He had booked a muggle hotel near the funeral home; he was staying there currently. Drunk out of his mind. Chugging bottles of the strongest vodka he could get his hands on.

 It wasn’t until he found out that Peter was dead too, that he decided he wasn’t. Because nobody other than Remus, Pete, Lily and the traitor knew James enough to truly mourn him.

It’s for your own good, not going to the funeral. 

Remus thought, mind fuzzy from all the alcohol. 

But James and Lily-

They would want him to.

He had always thought James was too good for this world, but he never wanted James to leave it.

Why would anyone want James to leave this world? James was the human equivalent of the sun. James who always made sure to check up on Remus, no matter what. James with his bloody dad jokes, and his reassuring smile. James, his best friend of 10 years. 

And Lily.

Lily, the only one who understood his dry quips. Lily and her fierce personality. Lily with her bloody brilliant mind. She was always underestimated, but not by Remus. Never by Remus.

James and Lily would never leave him. James promised he wouldn’t during the war, and James never broke his promises. 

At that thought, Remus suddenly stumbled up, opening the door of the hotel room, still clutching the vodka bottle with one hand.

And he ran.

He ran, and he ran, and he ran, sprinting all the way to the funeral home. He was  filled with a certain sense of urgency, memories of their time at Hogwarts flashing through his mind.

“Remus, this doesn’t change anything. It’s not like you can control being a werewolf, can you? It’s not your fault”  James had whispered in second year, when he found out that Remus was a werewolf. “I’m not mad at you”

He pumped his legs faster, tripping over his feet. He wished he hadn’t drunk so much.

“Reeeeemmmuuusss, guess what!”  James exclaimed back in seventh year, pushing up those bloody glasses he was never seen without. He was going to tell Remus about how he had just scored a date with Lily. 

His lungs were on fire, but Remus did not stop. He needed to make it, needed to see James and Lily one more time, they must have been alive. They would never leave him like that.

“You know what, Rem? I’m going to be a healer. I’m going to find cures for disease no one ever thought to have researched”  This time, it was Lily’s voice echoing through his head. He could see the funeral home’s entrance, it was right there-

“Receive the Lord's blessing. The Lord blesses you-” The priest abruptly came to a stop when he saw Remus running towards the front of the funeral home’s chapel.

“Sir, you are not permitted here-” the priest tried, but Remus’s eyes were only fixed on one thing when he reached. The coffin in which both James and Lily lay. It was cold to the touch, so unlike the warmth James and Lily emitted. 

“Wanna go out to Hogsmeade, James?” Remus croaked out, voice trembling. James looked horrible, his eyes were lifeless. No, that couldn’t be right. James was never lifeless. He was larger than life itself.

Remus looked down at Lily then, her emerald green eyes shut. He dropped the vodka bottle he still had clutched in his hands, the glass shattering on the floor. The priest let out a horrified gasp at that.

“Sir-” “Lily, I finished Little Women!” Remus interrupted, hope still flickering in his chest. Maybe Lily would wake up, she never thought he’d finish Little Women.

His gaze strayed back to James, shaking his shoulders, more desperate now.

“His face hurts! And-” Remus stuttered, tearing his gaze from James to look up at the sympathetic faces. But couldn’t they see? Remus wasn’t the one who needed their sympathy, it was James. Why wasn’t anyone helping?

“And where are his glasses? He can’t see without his glasses!” Remus shouted now, tears streaming down his face, shaking James’s shoulders more vigorously.

There were hands pulling him away from the coffin now, gripping his shoulders. 

“Put his glasses on! Put on his glasses!” His voice was breaking at the edges, people continuing to pull him away. He sloppily fought against them, his movements weakened by the alcohol.

“Lily was going to be a healer! You can’t do this! She was going to be a healer!” Remus cried out, no longer numb, but aching horribly so. 

“They’re dead, Remus.” Someone murmured, one of the few people pulling him away. Remus slumped against the crowd of people, his voice no longer a yell, but a whisper.

“Why would Sirius do that? Doesn’t he know James can’t see without his glasses?” 

Remus later realised, long after the funeral, that James didn’t need his glasses anymore, because he was never going to see again.

[sturncoast]

this IS linecook!chris

[tortured-poet-of-thursday]

byler is one sided ok ok but then what the actual HELL was mike doing???

[curiouslymyown]

Why am I only now learning that Jimmys actual name is James, I nearly threw up in my mouth

[ganondoodle]

maddening what one night of missed/bad sleep and having to work overtime with a migraine can do to a mf

was super motivated the past few days and hoped i was finally on the way back up to have energy and fun and now im at rock bottom again, quite literally i just feel like curling up and being eaten by rats is the most im worth rn

[lovecatsys]

God a long time ago i was kind to make a post about how Akihiro is heavily coded/implied to be a csa survivor in his early stuff and how marvel making it canon would have added so much depth to him that the majority of fans/writers just Aren't getting. I don't know if marvel has ever done a storyline like this at least not in recent years. It frustrates me how much like.... Akihiro's backstory with Romulus has so much fucking potential that they only barely dealt with. Like okay wolverine origins and dark wolverine do really show the results of his abuse and how it affects his relationship w Romulus and with sex, interacting with children, with his father and with romance. But almost every other book he's in doesn't really have this level of depth.

It makes my skin crawl when writers like leah williams think its okay to just straight up call him a slut and portray him as being promiscuous not cuz he's struggling with hypersexuality due to being a survivor of sa but cuz he's a "disaster bi" lmfao.

like its.... basically textual in dark wolverine that he uses sex to get what he wants/needs in his "schemes" like. even the implied sex scene with johnny storm is literally followed up with "i need a favor btw" like. not to say i don't think he and johnny have genuine chemistry but i do think that he did not intend in the beginning to sleep with johnny cuz he was interested in him, he sees sex as a transaction, something to be used to get something in return. And I'm very sure that this is something that Romulus either trained him or programmed him into, its quite possible he's been doing this since he was a fucking child like.

Akihiro is a horrible fucking person who was trained to be that way by his abuser. His redemption should have been focused on that, but it really wasn't. His whole life he has been neglected and abused, and trained to be more than just a killer, to be an abuser himself. It would not be so easy for him to recover from this as it was in canon. I think that really when writers forget this about him they fail in his characterization.

You can't have Akihiro's angst without the way his trauma shaped him into being an abuser himself.