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wait till yall know the muslim/arab culture view on sinners ‼️ there’s so many talks about the movie, it’s insane how interconnected the conversation is between multiple cultures & viewpoints

#sinners #ryan coogler #sinners 2025 #it gets deep

Cover up, your ‘Daddy Issues’ are showing again !

I have let men walk all over me because I can always find a reason to place my worth under theirs. Watching My Dad leave and distance for a few years but being reassured by a text every few weeks that says ‘Love You’ led me to believe that that's how men love; distantly, uninterested and making you beg for their attention. I have never felt like I would receive unconditional love from a man because I never felt favourable to any of them, not even my own father.

I don’t trust men but that doesn’t mean I never will, I am working on it. When I am alone in public I sit and admire the abundance of love I see in the world around me. I see women and men walking hand in hand holding onto every word their partner says, giddy with pride. In those moments you can only hear the laughter and the admiration they have for each other. I watch Dads run after their daughters with only one wish to protect them; I never felt like My Dad would protect me. I watch kids giggling on their Dads shoulders feeling safe and secure, something that was never a part of our relationship.

I see so much love in the world around me but I am afraid I will never receive it the way I watch it. I am scared that in my years of resenting the love that I saw will be the only love I receive. I am so afraid of the mystery of love. Everyone feels it so differently but it's what most people have in common, feeling loved. I am not bitter about their love, I am simply baffled by the vulnerability, the trust and the time you have to put into someone but what really shocks me is that people don’t have to beg to receive it back.

Girls get labelled with the term ‘Daddy Issues’. A very real and prominent problem with girls. Being abandoned by one of the two people in the world whose job is to do anything to look after you can be so damaging. I started to do anything to get a boys attention and let them use me for whatever they wanted. I have misplaced my respect for myself in these interactions because they were loveless and stagnant, doing the opposite of what I thought it would do. I have praised men for having little respect for me and treating me with simple human rights because I walked around with no value for myself and they saw right through it. I would go for someone who was also damaged so I didn’t feel as broken. I would be detached and cold with no regard for myself but still clinging onto the hope that one day a man would make me feel safe and valued.

I have walked alongside ‘gentlemen’ who would hold my bag but loosen their hand from mine when they see people they know, pretending to not be associated with me. I have let men objectify me, sexualise me and use me just to feel wanted for an hour. I have blatantly been ignored by men in a group of their friends who don’t know about the texts I had to pretend I hadn’t received when they wanted an easy target. I expected to have to work for a man's validation, I expected to have to drop everything for a man, I expected to have to need a man's attention because my dad couldn’t spare a bit of his.

Love is shown in so many different ways. It is prominent in the best of times and hazed in the worst of times but it's always there. What I have learnt is that love comes naturally. Begging for someone to like you back is your subconscious begging you to like yourself. I started to feel complete when I loved myself unconditionally, I started to realise my want for love from others was simply an internal child begging for me to love and nurture her and that's what I did. I have learnt that love is effortless because I can now effortlessly love myself. I have learnt from my mistakes but that doesn’t mean I will never make them again. I have started to fix what was broken. Love bonds the world and tears it apart. There is so much power in a connection. Everytime you feel love, hold it so dearly. Share your love with people that don’t feel enough of it. Love is abundant, shower yourself in it and make the most of every second you feel it.

Working On Your Worth Is So Worth IT.

For years I grew a habit of blaming any mood swings, insecurities and low confidence on depression but only recently have I started to connect the dots as to what caused my depression. At eight years old I began to feel abandoned by my own father, I began to feel obsolete and I began to feel like I didn’t belong to any family, community or friend group. My Dad was never one; I learnt that the hard way. I was emotionally neglected by my Dad for my whole life. He would pick and choose when to be his idea of a functioning father but in my eyes he was coming back to let my hopes down again. I became so obsessed with trying to get any sort of attention off my Dad that I couldn’t enjoy most of my childhood because I wasn’t getting what I wanted more than any doll, any toy or any game. All I wanted more than anything was a functioning father.

It took me so long to understand the severity of the damage the emotional neglect had played on my inner child. I felt like an outsider in every walk of life. I felt like anyone including my close friends and family would drop me in a heartbeat. Feeling like you don’t belong anywhere makes you wear yourself as a burden. I did it for so many years, I got it into my head that no one wanted to tolerate the emotional baggage I was holding onto. I wanted to be perceived as fun and careless because I saw people be liked for being that way. The mask I was wearing began to get looser and looser and it wouldn’t stay on no matter how hard I tried. I had too many fears as to what people were saying about me, finding ways to laugh at me and how people truly felt about me. I was careless though. I was careless towards myself, I was careless to think people using my naivety to their advantage was friendship and I was careless to listen to anyone that wasn’t me.

I have always struggled with low self esteem paired with low confidence. I always blamed myself for people rejecting me or abandoning me. The irony of it is that I would push them away with my fear of being abandoned so that it would look like my decision and I could pretend I had the control within the relationship that I never felt I had in my life. I believed that there always had to be someone working harder to maintain a relationship. I never saw myself as equal in any relationship, platonic or otherwise, because I always had to do the most to try to be seen or at least respected. I believed I had to sacrifice more of myself for others that wouldn’t give me a hair off their head, I believed I was below everyone in my life because all I saw when I looked in the mirror was a miserable excuse of a person.

I knew I had to make a change and start experiencing life instead of mindlessessly wandering through it. I started identifying the toxic habits I created for myself and the mind numbingly nasty thought process I constantly bullied myself through. I started to trace back to any negative thoughts and I negotiated a plan of action. When I was alone I would say my negative thoughts out loud in third person so I could fight back and stand up for myself. I was responding to the bully I had listened to for so many years, I was taking my voice back. I was no longer a coward to my own voice. I was fighting for my voice, I was fighting for my value and I was fighting for my life back. My fight had finally begun and I knew I wasn’t losing this round. It took a lot of hard work to start to retrain my brain but I would have done anything. I started ignoring anything that I felt didn’t match my updated state of mind. For so many years I was numb to my own emotions for so many years, as soon as I started to my inner child scream out to be nurtured anything that didn’t nourish me mentally was seen as a waste of time. I began to use my inner monologue in my dialogue to reassure myself and grow more freely, I was becoming my own person.

I stopped going out of my way to gain respect from people who didn’t see me as equal and thrived off my vulnerability. I used the extra kindness I would have used on them on myself, It started to get easier to be kind to myself when I prioritised myself. I stopped carrying myself as a burden. I reached out for any guidance or reassurance I needed to feel better, I must admit that this still is one of the hardest things to do but it always helps me. Once I put myself into the role as leader of my own life everything positive started to follow. I let myself feel everything I had suppressed but I had to cut out the habit of wallowing in my own self pity. Wearing your sadness like a cozy hoodie begins to get too comfortable and easy to grow familiar with but instead wearing everyday you survive, grow stronger and become yourself like badges appreciating how much work you have put in to flaunt them. Go you !!

Say it with me; I am still trying to figure out how to live with my emotional neglect and not just tolerate it, I am still trying to understand myself and my triggers, I am still trying to nurture myself everyday and not just survive. I am not a burden, I am not a pushover and I am not below anyone. I am beautiful, I am smart, I am worthy and I will continue to nurture myself and my inner child for as long as my journey is. I am a holder of great potential and the past has no hold on me. I am my own person and I will continue to be bold, adventurous and charismatic. I am the bearer of great things that I attract into my life.

One person does not define the perception of you and the way you love. Relationships grow with you. The great thing about life is there is so much room for growth and change, you do it every day without realising it. You have the power to start fresh from the moment you wake up. Everyday is a chance to excel and be better than the people that hurt you. Change the cycle and become the person you dreamed the person who hurt you was. Shower yourself with love, with hope and with life. You have made it this far fighting for everything you have. It is now time to retire to the bliss you create around you. You are doing an amazing job, do it for you.

Caoimhe x

On of you left me such a GREAT ask, that the answer will probably be a whole damn article, I just need to sit down to write it.

#yes it's about Evelyn #and morals #and Severus whole personal ethics and stuff #it gets deep #snapedom #why are you all so smart I can't

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Chapter 5 Excerpt:

“Why do you think you’re not beautiful?” He asked, and by the time Brienne opened her mouth to answer him, he said, “Don’t say because you just know. I want to know your experiences, your troubles—what happened to you?”

Brienne didn’t want to talk about it. Her deepest fears, public humiliation and lack of love crept out like a tiger through long grass, cornering her in this once safe space. Her heart tumbled. Gripping a handful of soft fleece in her fist from her pajama bottoms, she said, “People.”

“People,” he said, scoffing once. His voice went from empathetic to merciless in an instant. “Jimmy, whoever, make sure to cut these parts out. Was it your ex-boyfriend?”

Saturating in a blush, Brienne caved in on herself and pulled her knees up to her chest in a tight hug. Her ex loved to make fun of her forehead and nose, in particular. The fact alone she had one boyfriend throughout her life should have said enough to Jaime. Then again, Jaime said he only had one girlfriend—maybe he struggled with his looks as much as her. No. Brienne remembered a time Jaime said he had been called handsome once or twice. Is he lying? It doesn’t matter. She winced. It does matter. If he’s attractive, he’ll be mocked for dating me—marrying me. That’ll never happen.

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