What is the "Maintain Parasocial Distance" thing? Is that like a separate project that Ryan is doing? Why do people need a warning about asking invasive questions, is there something going on?
Thanks for asking, because I have always kinda wanted to talk about this.
Parasocial interactions refer to the sort of relationship that audience members develop with celebrities and other performers. When people watch a performer for long enough, they can begin to view this performer as a friend. Even if the audience member acknowledges that they aren’t actually friends with this performer, they still can become emotionally-invested in this performer’s career and personal life.
Parasocial distance refers to the emotional/social distance fans keep from their favorite performers. Maintaining parasocial distance refers to acknowledging that the performer/fan relationship is largely one-sided and that the performer and fan are not “friends.” As much as some performers enjoy and encourage fan engagement, fans (and performers) need to realize that they are, ultimately, strangers.
This isn’t to say that there should be no interaction between creator and fan. Instead, I feel that a lot of interactions should be viewed as if they are taking place between strangers on a bus. If a stranger on the bus genuinely complimented someone or was just generally supportive, they’re probably being nice. However, if that stranger was “playfully” rude or started fawning over the person or asked personal questions, they do not come off as that nice – even if you don’t mind your friends treating you in a similar way.
I made the initial post after Ryan’s engagement and I reblogged it again today in the wake of Steven’s engagement. I made it because, as anyone who has ever gotten married or had a friend get married knows, for some reason, people love to come out of the woodwork to give unsolicited advice about the wedding and ask invasive questions. “It should be in THIS church.” “You two should wear this and serve this.” “Are you going to have kids?” “*looks at non-engaged couple* So when are YOU going to tie the knot?” People have a lot of opinions about weddings and they have a lot of questions about the future. It’s okay to think about these things, but it’s important to remember that it really is none of our business.
I’ll be honest, I’m not active on the same social media platforms the boys are active on. I myself haven’t seen responses to these announcements and the posts that follow. Perhaps everyone just says “congratulations” and that’s it. I hope that’s the case. However, I have seen things in fan-circles that echo the kind of comments in the previous paragraph, and I hope that these comments never touch a platform where the boys would see them. For the most part, this fandom is pretty good at keeping fan interactions and creator interactions separate. That’s great! They’re maintaining parasocial distance! However, I noticed that there has been some spillover between fan-space and creator-space when there is a major life event.
For example, fans have repeatedly asked the boys to post a “why I left BuzzFeeed” video. They might post that video. In fact, they probably will once the contracts are up. However, that doesn’t make it acceptable to go up to someone, a stranger, and ask, “Hey, why did you quit your job?” Some people may not think that this is a kinda entitled question to ask someone you don’t know; I, however, think it is. I acknowledge that it’s a little subjective, but I err on the side of caution. And I think that asking about people’s personal lives is way more invasive than asking questions about their career; which is why I didn’t bring up parasocial distance until recently.
I don’t think that the majority of fans need the warning I posted. Most of the fans I know pretty much keep to themselves and stay in fan-cultivated corners of the internet. However, weddings tend to bring out people’s invasive side. So I felt compelled to post.
TL;DR – “Maintaining Parasocial Distance” means “We respect these people, but acknowledge that we are not friends. Therefore, our interactions with them should reflect this.” People need to be reminded about this sometimes, especially when there is a major life event. (Also, Steven’s getting married! Mazel tov, Steven!)
