cannon secrets!
mine was very selfish. and foolish. i never told anyone.
after messaline, i spent a long time adventuring. exploring the universe, discovering myself, trying to puzzle out all the information the progenation didn't find nessecary - things that i would have learned growing up or otherwise.
emotions were incredibly difficult for me, so at one point i got a notebook, where i'd note down things i learned and drew other's faces and expressions, noting what emotions i thought or knew they were associated with.
i drew the doctor, martha and donna a lot. i drew us together, doing things i saw other families doing. sometimes, when i was so lonely, i would imagine they were my parents - my dad and two mums, and that we would explore together. i knew it was incredibly unrealistic and rather selfish, but it helped me feel better when things got really hard.
i wish i could have run into the doctor, just one more time, so i could ask him all the questions i had about myself. why did i have two hearts? why was my blood that colour? why did i keep coming back when i died, with a new face and personality? what species were we, and why couldn't i find anyone else like me?
ah well. he probably wouldn't have been enthused to see me. and it doesn't matter anymore.
so that's my secret :)
- jenny
2
