#jerry de

[hashemovitch]

"I headcanon Eddie as autistic-" "I headcanon Jerry as autistic-" "I he-" Hey. Listen to me. Date Everything is what it would look like if an entire multi-generation extended family of autistic people lived in one house.

[furniture-fetishist]

Happy trail hcs perhaps... for any character I don't really mind I'm just curious on your opinion on this (｡· v ·｡) ?

-🦇 (Vampire Anon!)

Happy Trail Headcanons for Jerry, Hank 3, and Abel

Jerry

He’s a relatively hairy man.

He’s got all that stubble and I just know he’s hairy everywhere else too.

So yeah he has a pretty prominent happy trail, but it’s not TOO much.

There’s a small tuft of hair right below his belly button, it thins a bit as it goes down, and then it fills back out.

The hair is so dark and I just think it’s really course and scratchy. But also he looooooooves if you lazily trace over the trail when you guys are chilling in bed. Actual shivers.

He keeps it natural, doesn’t shave, doesn’t trim. He’s a mess as a person, why should his happy trail be any different?

Hank 3

I’d have a seizure if I saw his happy trail, this man would not be safe around me.

Starts full right under his belly button and goes down in an upside down V.

It’s not wild, he keeps it trimmed, but again, it’s very thick.

It’s also soft, you’d think he conditions it.

He knows it’s sexy too. If he wasn’t always wearing that damn suit, he’d be the type to stretch and make his shirt ride up to show it on purpose and he’d wink and then I’d die.

He does get a bit blushy if you kiss it tho. 🥺

Abel

WE LOVE A BEAR.

We can SEE that chest hair, sir, we all know you have a lot more than a happy trail. It’s like a happy…highway. It’s big is what I’m saying. He’s hairy. Is what I’m saying.

Like seriously, it’s almost hard to tell he HAS a happy trail because it’s surrounded by more hair.

You can tell it’s there though because it is a bit thicker and a bit darker under his naval and leading down.

His hair is THICK. His hair is COURSE. And he does want you to just rub circles over it while you guys cuddle. It’s so relaxing to him.

He trims just so things don’t get TOO crazy considering the amount of hair, but he keeps it pretty natural.

[narratorbones]

stupid boyfriend

[allknowingaxolotl]

His lightbulb lights up when he’s excited TRUST

[chaosclownwrites]

Jerry as Your Boyfriend 🫶🏻

🖇️ Finding what looks like torn scraps of paper on the ground only to see as they unfurl that they're little love notes from Jerry ❤️

🖇️ You two practice/learn knitting together once Jerry learns how much he loves making things for you and others 🫶🏻 Jerry is surprisingly quick with it if he focuses so expect some knitted gifts coming your way 😉

🖇️ Your boyfriend keeps all sorts of mementos of you: a flower from the first bouquet he got you, a sugar packet off the restaurant table from your first date, the first Valentine you gave him and even the packaging from some tissues you gave him from a really chilly, breezy beach day!

🖇️ He’s so shy with affection, blushing even at holding your hand, but after he takes a second to get used to it he looks so proud!

🖇️ Jerry would adore making a relationship time capsule to celebrate something like an anniversary or even an engagement if that’s something you want: burying a bunch of these mementos and symbols of your love to re-discover and reminisce together at a later date 🥰

🖇️ Absolutely the kind of boyfriend who sprays stuff with your perfume/cologne when you’re gone to feel like you’re there 🥺

🖇️ Flushes and glances away when you reach up and straighten his bow tie, only to give in and peck your lips gently.

🖇️ Obviously whatever you collect, Jerry would never judge you. He’ll gift you even more of your favorite things!

🖇️ The partner who holds you if you watch horror movies and may even hide his face in your neck!

🖇️ If you play RPGs, he absolutely LOVES painting minis with you! Painting them and giving them names, personalities, and interactions that have you cracking up.

🖇️ Jerry would soooo get you one of those necklaces or bracelets that show the exact sky and star positions of the night you met.

🖇️ He’s also the type of boyfriend to wind the two of you into the same scarf and walk as close as physically possible together in the cold.

🖇️ Loves walking arm-in/arm, too, no matter the weather.

🖇️ You’ll never need anything when you go out! In his many pockets your boyfriend has bandages, tissues, wipes, menstrual products if you need them, your meds if you have them, hand sanitizer, pills like aspirin, allergy, and even anti-diarrhea, glasses cleaners and eye drops. Your personal first aid kit!

🖇️ Always quietly offers to kiss your wounds/pain away! “Have no fear, Jerry is here!”

🖇️ If he gets the ok he absolutely will propose one day. He may end up fumbling a little bit and dropping the ring box from one of his many pockets or have a hard time opening it, but it’s still the sweetest and most sincere proposal you could ever ask for. He can name so many memories you’ll practically be in tears at how much he loves you.

Reply/Ask/Message to be tagged in any future posts 🖤

[hashemovitch]

Breakups in Date Everything must be miserable because imagine your ex is an object whose function pairs with yours. Your name is Washford gaywasher your life partner cheated on you well guess what. He's on top of you. Your ass cannot escape him. Your name is Penelope parts of you are lost in the junk drawer well guess what. Jerry is in there chewing on the old pen caps he won't throw away and you can feel every ridge of his nasty little teeth. Your name is Dunk Full-Nelson Fartlek Love Shuttlecock III you just want to have a good time and be the best athlete you can be but Kristof is pounding those damn floorboards in right next to you with every stride the way he used to pound you into them and it's making you consider texting him again. There's no object equivalent to texting your ex asking if you can get your stuff from their apartment a week later because your ex lives in the same room as you. This was supposed to be funny

[hashemovitch]

Bobby Pinn would pull one of their goofy ass heists on Jerry thinking he wouldn't notice if something in his stash is missing but little do they know. he has rube-goldberg-style booby traps in place because he's that paranoid about people stealing from his little museum. Cue cartoon supervillain scenario where Bobby keeps "accidentally" falling into his traps so Jerry is forced to let them out but it's part of their evil plan to hang out with that really weird medium ugly guy they just can't get enough of. Only because they want to lull him into a false sense of security and steal from him even more, of course.

[hashemovitch]

Jerry would LOVE to be someone's pet white boy. Kind of in between pathetic and sweet. Like he'd be too shy to dance at the function but once he's had a drink (lightweight because he's a damn beanpole BTW) he'll be up on that dance floor doing some kind of awkward robot shuffle feeling okay that his movements are the only ones lacking rhythm. He would play campy instruments like accordion or theramin. He can't figure out how to use a bong no matter how much you show him. There is so much earnestness and hilarity in his every move.