Yeah okay. I'm officially "back on my bullshit" as the saying goes.. I talk about these two like it's 2008 all over again.
Phantoms is so important actually because it reveals precisely what defined Sheppard as a character. This episode exhibits vividly that John feels immensely guilty for having failed to save a teammate in Afghanistan. Losing Ford takes a whole other dimension when we take that into account. His worst nightmare happening once again, even if Aiden did not actually die. It's safe to say that he considers himself a marked man whose impending death will be fate's retribution, as I mentioned in a previous post. His tendency to sacrifice himself without a second thought suddenly makes sense. You know what else makes sense? The fact that Teyla, of all people, is the one who bears witness to both his revisited traumatic rescue attempt and the admission of his perceived failure.
That he chose to sit next to her at the end speaks of his desire both to offer safety and comfort (she's injured and in a vulnerable position) and to perhaps speak of what transpired and finally broach the subject, the elephant in the room. He opens up to her in a way that is unprecedented, albeit brief and stunted. And though she probably sees him in a new light, not for a second does he lose any shine in her eyes.
As a result, I think this moment changed everything. She saw all of him, just then. She became a spectator to what he considers his very worst. His shameful past. The roots of his guilt and self-disgust. And all she sees is the truth of it: his love and loyalty. His fear of losing the people that are under his care. I think this moment altered their bond in a way that cemented the fact that they were meant to be each other's safe place, even if it took a few more years to get there.
