#johnlock texpost

[consultanttimedemon]

John: *taking an early morning wiz*

Sherlock: *snatches back the shower curtain*

John: *heart attack* what the bloody absolute hell are you doing?... why are holding a vase?

Sherlock: I couldn't find a jug.

John: that is obviously not the point I'm asking about.

Sherlock: *dead eye contact* I need your urine.

John: *throws sherlock out the bathroom*

Sherlock: but john! I need to make gunpowder mrs hudson was sleeping. John!

John: *finally comes out the bathroom*

Sherlock: *still standing there ready with the vase*

[consultanttimedemon]

Sherlock: *opens door to apartment* ...

John: *turns page* what happened this time.

Sherlock: never try and steal bread from a swan. They might be beautiful but they are ugly on the inside.

John: *turns page* uhhuh there is a fresh pot of tea here.

Sherlock: thank you for not asking.

John: thank you for not getting blood, mud or faeces on the carpet.

[consultanttimedemon]

John: where the hell did you get this dog?

Sherlock: why so angry about him?

John: because you obviously have illegally obtained this animal.

Sherlock: i am so offended, john. Why do you automatically think that everything I do is sadistically insane and selfishly destructive?

John: because that's literlly your only personality trait.

Sherlock: well I would just like to say you are utterly and completely wrong. I-

Greg: *runs into the apartment out of breath* sherlock come on you need to give the Mayors dog back.

[consultanttimedemon]

Sherlock: it was not revenge... it was an honest mistake.

Greg: you burnt his house down!

Sherlock: *interrupting john* I take full responsibility

Greg: You don't need to take anything I'm bestowing it upon you

Mycroft: hmm, he used a big word... I'm sorry to inform you brother that. You are. Screwed. Goodluck, goodbye.

Sherlock: one day Mycroft, you will have your mistake.

Mycroft: bold of you to assume that you already have not bestowed mistakes upon me.

[consultanttimedemon]

john: it's almost 2am you need to go to sleep, I need to go to sleep.

Sherlock: but if i go to sleep i might miss something.

john: trust me you wont miss anything, the world wont end if you close your eyes.

sherlock: your world might not end if i close my eyes, but if i do i wont be able to be with you and thus the end of my world.

John: right thats it, ive made up my mind, no more wine for you.

Sherlock: BUt jawwwWWWNNn

john: goodnight sherlock *chuckles as he softly closes sherlocks bedroom door behind him, half bottle of wine in hand, sherlock half wrestles in bed* get to sleep sherlock we still have that case in the morning.