As I've mentioned before, I've had a jwed account for a number of years. Maybe even close to 15 years at this point...? So... a while.
Since that weirdo messaged several weeks ago, I've gone onto jwed like once a week just to see if he's popped up anywhere so I can officially block him. Unfortunately (or fortunately?) he still hasn't, so I'm assuming he's got me blocked on his end.
But surprise of all surprises when I randomly just realized that my photos are visible!?!?!?!
I was clicking around and went to PRIVACY and the privacy page had a popup for getting a paid subscription, which I closed without reading.
And then I saw that the privacy settings were all turned off.
UM, WHAT????
They didn't used to be off.
So I flipped them back on and clicked on Save Changes.
And there was a little popup at the top of the page telling me that this would require a paid plan.
UM, WHATTTT!?!?!?!
YOU DIDN'T USED TO NEED TO PAY FOR F*****ING PRIVACY
I reloaded the page just in case to see if it saved, and of course it didn't. I also took a moment to read the popup since it appeared again.
And what jumped out at me was that even with their basic paid plan, you can't browse anonymously AND you can view photos of ALL members.
UM, WHATTTTT???????
So even people with paid accounts who use privacy settings aren't actually private to other people with paid accounts!?!?
I went back to my emails and searched through to see if maybe they sent something about this that I just didn't see, but no. There's nothing.
The only email that popped up about photos and privacy was from 2021 where they announced that new accounts would require a photo.
But other than this, NOTHING. I don't delete emails, and literally going back to 2016, there is NOTHING about privacy other than this.
I was NEVER alerted that my photos would be visible to everyone all the time because I don't pay for an account.
And MY GOD.
To REMOVE privacy without alerting anyone!?
The absolute CHUTZPA.
The F******ING AUDACITY.
The... lack of consent!
I did NOT consent to weirdos anywhere having access to my photos at any time!
And how long has this been going on???
I'm so serious about internet security that I literally google myself at least twice a year to see where my info is being used and have it removed.
And dating sites do not police who joins, so the number of weirdos on there who could have saved my photos to their computer.... my skin is literally crawling at the thought.
Needless to say, I have since removed all of them.
And I'm disgusted.
Absolutely disgusted.
I get they need to make money somehow, but they keep pushing people to use the app, which sucks in so many ways, and to make these wide sweeping changes to PRIVACY SETTINGS without even a courtesy email notifying of the changes is disgraceful.
Honestly, I should just close my account.
I'm just so grossed out by them right now.
-LivelyHeart
Edit:
And to make things even better, I just tried using the contact form on their website to express my frustration and they have some kind of server error.
Well, he did respond. It was unasked for and unappreciated. He pushed too far, so I pushed back.
This was my last message to him:
He decided to be very passive aggressive by taking my starting line and putting it back on me. Here’s what he said:
He was clearly looking for a fight, so I pushed back and after I see that he’s opened the message, I’ll be blocking him.
I might have been too harsh, but I felt that some of what I said was me standing up for every girl he would possibly speak to. I feel like I should also report him to the site moderators, but I don’t know if I should go that far.
I have a lot going on in my life right now, but I’ve kept my jwed account active because you never know how or when Hashem will insert the right person into your life, and things can change at the drop of a hat.
A week ago I started going through my old emails and saw that I had missed a message from a guy on jwed from about two and a half weeks prior, so I clicked over and wrote a little message apologizing for not having seen the message sooner and courteously letting him know that I wasn’t interested.
I ended my message with “hatzlacha finding your beshert!” which is a subtle way of saying, “I am not your beshert, so keep looking.”
Well, as I said, it’s been a week and he keeps messaging me.
He even asked to see my profile picture, which I’ve hidden because there are some creepo old guys from my own community (as I’ve mentioned before) who have messaged me and it just made me really uncomfortable.
Since I didn’t really want to pursue anything with him, I told him that I didn’t feel comfortable sharing my photo to which he replied, “I can respect that but you're not pursuing a thing. You're just showing a a guy what you look like.” Which is something that I don’t really believe.
I should also mention that his own profile picture is hidden and he didn’t offer to share it with me.
I explained that I didn’t see it that way and reiterated that from my very first response, I made it clear that I wasn’t interested and that he should just move on. At which point he said, “No offense if you're not ready you shouldn't be on the site. Thsts just my two cents. That's why since you're still here I'm trying to befriend you. I have no expectations.”
I didn’t ask for his two cents! I didn’t ask for a friend! Jwed and the like are not social media sites, they are dating sites. And my profile gives over my general hashkafos, which should make it clear that I don’t really socialize with guys.
Why is he trying to force something that I’ve basically told him multiple times I don’t want?
He’s not the first guy from a dating site to try to force a relationship with me and I find that very unsettling. Is this how guys are being raised today? I keep hearing about young couples getting divorced, and while the majority of my friends are happily married and (I can only assume) not headed for divorce, I can’t help thinking that maybe all the good guys are either too young or taken, and I’m just scraping the barrel even trying at this point.
So I was just contacted by a member on JWed who has a profile with a photo that needs a password to view it. I responded to his message, and then he messaged me again, this time giving me the password to the photos and also his phone number in order to text him. I checked out his photos and was immediately taken aback. This was the same person whose JWed account I had seen fit to block a few months ago (it was even the same cell phone number he had tried giving me then). Only this time, he was contacting me under a new second account and with slightly different personal information in his profile (eg. ages are a year apart, height is an inch off, residing in a different state, etc.) So I immediately blocked this account as well, and wrote a message to the website’s customer service to do something about the issue.
A 40 year old guy contacted me on Jwed. I'm not even 26 yet!
Ages and locations are part of the profile, so he knows I'm 25 and that I live in the same town as he does. Awkward, much?
Here's his message to me:
good evening,
nice to meet you. please review my profile let me know if you want to correspond. I cam provide my pic password.
yisrael sm
I don't even know what to say. "Uh, thanks for the offer, but I have my heart set on someone at least 10 years younger than you, if not more"? I mean, really.
He also has his profile picture hidden, which makes it even more awkward. A 40 year old from my own town, who knows I'm at least 15 years younger than him, and who knows what I look like, but I don't know what he looks like... It just sounds like a sketchy situation waiting to happen.
