Ch. 8 What's Love Got To Do With It?
Chinese!OC x Kelce
This wasn’t supposed to happen. Zombies were meant for apocalyptic movies and tv shows where one could binge watch for a day and return to their mundane life. But something happened, a lab test went wrong and suddenly the outbreak started. This story takes place exactly three weeks after zombies slowly started to take over the planet.
Series Masterlist
Word Count: 7,017
Warnings: Grief
A/N: Hey! Has it really been two years? Anyway, I'm so determined to finish this series (and revamp the character bios + the other chapters) and give it the ending that it deserves because I truly do love writing this. No, this is not the final chapter!! There are about five or six left. As always, tagging those from the previous taglist but if you'd like to be taken out, please let me know!! No hard feelings, I know it has been far too long.
In the six weeks that they’ve been together, Kaili had grown to trust and love the people around her but the very first moment that she was able to tell someone in the group that she had loved them, she had been apologizing for loving him. Now, it was like she had taken ten steps back from the progress she had made with them. If you had asked her yesterday if she loved the people around her, she would’ve said yes. Today? Waking up in the cold, and empty bus, she’d be too afraid to even acknowledge that she cared for them because when she did, bad things happen. Just like Wei and just like Rafe. Maybe she was also too scared to admit that death hurts a lot worse when there’s love involved.
The afternoon sun shone through her window with audacity as if the universe hadn’t taken a friend from her the day before. If she had the energy, she’d curse the planet for making this her timeline, for putting her friends through this when they had deserved so much more. She deserved so much more. Numbingly, she set each foot onto the floor of the bus before she routinely stuck her blades back into the straps on her legs. Only two blades were saved in the wreckage of yesterday and she wasn’t ready to see the damage that their inventory had taken. Especially all the winter clothes that they’ve worked so hard to get. She knew that there was no way that anyone was able to get any of their supplies out after the ambush but she had hoped that some of their weapons or maybe food had been saved.
After she had prepared herself the best that she could to face everyone, she slid the door open and almost fell over Wheezie. The girl had been sitting in front of the door with her legs propped on the wall of the other side, completely blocking the older girl in. Her face was blotchy like she had just found a moment where she stopped crying.
“Hey,” Wheezie rasped, her voice carrying a little surprise.
“Hey yourself,” Kaili said softly, dropping herself down to the younger girl’s level and sitting with her legs crisscrossed beside her, “what’s this?”
“Everyone had left to go explore the mall that Topper parked across from. Well, next to now, he moved the bus while you were sleeping. We kind of lost everything yesterday so they’re trying to scope things out and see if there’s anything left in there that we can take.”
“That’s smart of them.” Kaili offered and then placed a hand on top of Wheezie’s palm that had been clenched on her own lap. “But why are you blocking my doorway?”
“I was afraid that you’d find an empty bus and thought that everyone hated you for what happened and maybe you’d leave us. No one hates you, by the way. We all know what happened, it’s just easier for certain people to place the blame on you than to face the truth that we couldn’t–” the younger girl choked on her words as she practically lunged herself forward and onto Kaili’s lap. “I love him,” Wheezie sobbed, “do you think he knew? I know I was terrible yesterday but I didn’t mean to be.”
Kaili held onto the younger girl tighter as she ran her hand up and down her back. “He knows, of course he knows. He loved you all so much and he knew that you loved him that even at the end, he wasn’t thinking about himself. He was thinking about all of you.”
“It hurts,” she wailed and Kaili couldn’t say anything back through her own tears because, yes, it did hurt. The pain seared through her vessels and it was all that she could feel.
After what felt like hours and seconds all the same, Wheezie finally caught her breath and wiped at her face, “he loved you, too, you know? Even if he never said it to you. He cared.”
Kaili didn’t give the girl a reassuring smile, nor did she even nod her head, even if she knew. All she could see in her mind was her gripping onto Rafe’s warm body and apologizing to him that she loves him so much and how she prayed. A prayer that was ignored and mocked. No, Kaili doesn't think she’d ever pray again.
“There you girls are,” Kiara popped her head through the bus’ door, startling the other two girls. “It’s empty, so far, and Topper is convinced that he can get the stove to work so all the half frozen food can be cooked. There’s also a hunting and camping store in here and a small drug store. It’s not like a pharmacy but as good as any, I guess. Come on, let’s restock.” she motioned for the girls to follow her and they did. Kaili took a quick moment to wipe her eyes once more before following Kiara and, unsurprisingly, Pope, into the mall.
The entrance that they had led her into was part of the camping store which was perfect because she had gone and switched out her blades for sharper and newer ones. She was also able to change out her thigh harness into something more sturdy and made to hold blades so that she wouldn’t be cutting up her leg as she pulled the knives out anymore. They even sold boots that Kaili did not waste any time sticking them into shopping bags along with more knives and bullets and weapons that the others could use, too. Kiara and Pope had gone around with Wheezie also picking up their own items, ranging from clothes, mosquito spray, fire starters, and a tent. By the time that they had gone to the pharmacy and another store that Wheezie begged to go into for new clothes and finally made their way to the food court to meet up with the rest of the group, they had looked like they had gone on a shopping spree– which honestly, they had.
“Holy shit, what did you guys do? Rob the place?” JJ said as he jumped over the counter of the fast food place that Topper had apparently been trying to fry some food at and from the smell of it, he was succeeding.
“Obviously we robbed the place,” Pope said, matter of factly, “it’s not like we had anyone that would take our money even if we had any.”
“You got anything for the rest of us?” JJ asked but without waiting for an answer, he started rummaging through the bags that Kie and Pope had left on the table.
“Yeah, I got some clothes for you and weapons and shoes. I want to make sure that we’re fully stocked and prepared this time.” Kie mentioned and Kaili couldn’t have agreed more. She had picked up some sports explorer hiking bags to make sure that if they ever had to do the trek on foot, they’d be prepared to carry their own weight.
While John B and Sarah came over to the table and Wheezie started showing everything that she had picked up, mostly for herself, for the rest of the group, too, Kaili averted her eyes to the door leading towards the kitchen in the back of the counter. Kelce had been bringing out piles of fries and meat that Kaili wondered if they were even any good anymore or if they had stayed frozen for however long that the electricity had been cut out of the area. Watching Kelce, she couldn’t help but feel a little anger. He had left her to wake up alone and though she understood that maybe he wanted this time to himself to spend with his friend whom he grew up with to mourn their best friend, she needed him, too. It amazed her how adamant he was for her to communicate her feelings with him but now that it was his turn, he hadn’t. He could have easily woken her up and told her that he needed space and time but he pulled a disappearing act and she hated that.
This is why she was so hesitant those couple of weeks to give in to him and now that she had, now that she admitted that she liked him, here he was, carrying trays of food like they weren’t the last two people who got to spend time with Rafe. As if Rafe hadn’t asked Kelce first to do the unthinkable and Kelce was more than ready to die with his friend, making Kaili be the one to pull him out of the situation.
Thinking about it made her not want to even look at him. So, when everyone had set their things on the floor and pushed two tables together to start eating, she sat on the furthest seat away from him and avoided looking over at him the whole time. Not like it mattered because even the times where her eyes automatically found him, he wasn’t looking at her.
“I also got clothes and if I roll them into tiny pieces we can fit–” Wheezie was cut off mid sentence by Sarah slamming her hands down on the table.
“We’re not going anywhere so you don’t even need that.” Sarah declared. Slowly, one by one, they stopped eating and turned to look at the girl.
“What does that mean?” Wheezie inquired, her brows furrowing at her older sister.
“It means that we are staying at this mall until help arrives. That guy at the camp said that the military went to Georgia, that means that they’ll be making their way through all the states and someone will come and save us soon enough,” Sarah said without looking up from her plate.
Kaili understood where the blonde was coming from and though it was not ideal to disagree with her, she couldn’t help it. “We can’t be the only ones left here. What if someone comes here before the military and it is just as tempting for them to stay? Are you going to allow them to share the space with you? If you do, what’s to say that they’re not a big group and they decide that they don’t want to share their food with you? It’s not a safe bet to stay here, Sarah, we need to keep moving.”
“No, actually, we don’t. We have food here that can last us for weeks without us having to keep running into the supermarket that honestly, no one wants to do anyway. We have clothes to change into even if we have no showers. We have actual bathrooms here that may or may not flush, I don’t know. I haven’t tried it. But the most important part? There are metal gates here that we can just pull from the ceiling and no one can get in or out.”
“Yes, and all of that sounds great but what happens when someone else arrives?” Kaili pushed, “we have to keep moving. Rafe said we’re moving west and we’re going west.”
“And then what?” Sarah was yelling now, her eyes glistening with tears, “more of us are going to die because that’s all that there is out there, death! I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep jumping around and taking the risk. Here it is safe, I’m staying.” She looked at her little sister and then to John B, “we’re staying.”
“Staying in here is a risk, too, Sarah. Please, you can’t guarantee that death won’t find you in here and it is a reckless promise if that’s your reason to stay.” Kaili said, her shaking hands betraying her calm voice.
“No, Li. Think about what you’re asking me to do. What else could be wanted but what we have right here? If you’re scared of things and people getting in then we can board up the windows and the doors. Or maybe we don’t and we welcome new people in with open arms but at this point, there is food here. We have weapons in the camping gear store. This is it.”
The tone in Sarah’s voice made it clear that this was her final choice and no one could change her mind. Kaili’s eyes traveled from person to person at the table, waiting to see if anyone would jump in to tell Sarah that she was out of her mind but it seemed like everyone else was processing the idea themselves. Her gaze landed on Kelce who held her panicking eyes for a moment. He watched her from across the table as her breathing picked up before inclining his head towards her, ever so slightly that unless someone else had been watching his movements, they would’ve missed it.
“She’s right,” Kelce spoke up, Sarah’s face beaming before he continued, “Kaili’s right. We need to take what we need and keep moving. We’re sitting ducks right here.”
“Come on, man,” John B interjected, shaking his head and standing up, “the bus will run out of water very soon and what happens when you can’t find gas anymore? What will we do then? Sarah’s tired of running and quite frankly, so am I. I’ve just finished healing from being impaled by a fence and I haven’t practiced fighting the way that all of you had, I’ll be a liability out there if we keep moving. Even if we follow Rafe’s plan and go west, what will we do then? Where do we stop?”
“I vote here,” Sarah touched his hand and stood up with him. She looked over at her sister, who looked over at Kaili. Kaili was pleading with the young girl through her eyes, hoping that she wouldn’t stay with her sister even if that’s her blood. She was hoping that she would have a fighting chance, after all, that’s what Rafe died for. But she wouldn’t dare say it out loud and she wouldn’t voice her want for Wheezie to leave her family either. She knew how important family was during hard times and this was one of the hardest times they would ever experience.
“Kie, Pope, JJ?” John B looked to his friends and Kaili had held her breath. “Come on.”
“John B,” Kiara looked at him with sad eyes before shaking her head, “I can’t. I can’t stay here, I’m sorry.” and so the pack was divided because wherever Kiara went, so did Pope, and wherever Pope went, so did JJ.
Goodbyes were hard and they never got easier but at least knowing that people were leaving willingly and doing what they thought was best for them was something that Kaili could accept. As the group gathered around by the door of a department store, still standing next to the food court because they didn’t want to have the goodbye outside, Sarah had come up to Kaili first.
“I’m sorry for how I acted yesterday,” Sarah began but Kaili wouldn’t even let her finish. She had wrapped her arms around the girl.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t save him,” Kaili whispered into the blonde hair as Sarah hugged her back, tears wet her shoulder before going off to hug Kiara next.
“I’m not sure I ever personally thanked you for saving my life,” John B had been next to walk up to Kaili and she had to smile at that.
“It’s no big deal,” Kaili shrugged with a small smile, “make sure not to get into any more life threatening situations though, will you? You got people to look after.” she motioned to Wheezie who was being squeezed to death by JJ.
“Will do. But seriously, I don’t take that shit for granted, thank you.” John B squeezed her shoulder once before being engulfed by his friends.
Lastly, Kaili came over to Wheezie and the girl barely even looked at her before she barrelled into the older girl, hugging her so tight that Kaili was sure that she was going to break her ribs and though goodbyes were hard, this was the one that brought tears to her eyes. She had so much to say, so many more things to tell Wheezie and she couldn’t find all the words. So, she just hugged the girl back just as tight.
“I love you so much, Wheezie.”
“I love you, Li. I’ll never forget you.”
The remainders had loaded the bus with necessities, including sleeping bags and tents for when they’d had to ditch the bus because they knew that what John B said was right. They hadn’t spoken much between themselves, all knowing that the bus will run its course one day and they’d have to face the facts that it might very well be before they reach their destination. It also worried them that the air was getting colder as they were reaching winter.
“What if John B was right?” Pope suddenly spoke up, two nights into their trip. “Where are we even going? We have a map and a bus that can barely fit in the middle of the roads as they get smaller. We’re so ahead of ourselves, what if we should have stayed and we’re just driving until we can’t and then we die?”
“We’re not going to die,” Kiara said, annoyance laced her voice but Kaili had grown to know the girl enough to know that that annoyance wasn’t genuine.
“How do you know? Rafe did!” Pope exclaimed, earning a wince from Kaili who sat on the passenger seat with a map in her hands.
“Thanks for the reminder, as if we aren’t reminded every second of the day. As if this group isn’t getting noticeably smaller and smaller.” Topper’s voice was small as he yelled that response from the main bedroom. It barely traveled to the front of the bus.
“Listen, we’ll just keep heading west. There we can maybe break into some houses in LA and the coast and you know, rich people have fancy houseboats and panic rooms. They probably stocked up on a couple of things before this epidemic…here’s to hoping some of them didn’t make it,” JJ intervened in the conversation.
“Classy, JJ. Hoping that people have died.” Pope scoffed at his friend. “Then what are we going to do? Take the boat to another country? What if there are zombies there, too?”
“I don’t know, okay! I’m just trying my best. Everyone is stressed out and it’s stressing me the fuck out.” JJ ran his fingers through his hair that had now grown past his shoulders. Kaili had her body turned towards the conversation once Topper had gotten involved and she watched as the blonde looked at each of his friends as they avoided his gaze. They’ve been avoiding each other since they’d left John B at that mall. JJ released a long exhale before he shook his head and walked back to climb into his bunk, dramatically drawing the curtain closed.
“We can’t afford this,” Kelce said, almost to himself, as he drove. Impressing Kaili by memorizing street names and highway signs that she had mentioned to him about an hour ago when he and Topper exchanged positions.
“They’re children.” Kaili reminded him, “Children who’ve been traumatized over and over again and put through high stress situations. They’re allowed to be scared and disagree and question things.”
“Now’s not the time for questioning and second guessing if the decision they made is a good one. We cannot afford hesitation.” Kelce whispered, not taking his eyes off the road as the girl beside him stared at his profile.
She understood what he meant, of course she did, she just couldn’t believe that he didn’t understand where the younger kids were coming from. Everyone had been separated from their families and now this family that they’ve built with each other was slowly falling apart through death or decisions. Of course, there will be second guessing where they’re going.
“What we can afford is understanding,” Kaili said, anger bubbling inside of her. “Uncertainty is something that we can all relate to.”
“You weren’t uncertain when you shot Rafe,” Kelce spat the words out but immediately recoiled.
Kaili slowly raised her eyebrows at the man beside her, folding up her map. “Were you not uncertain when he asked you to kill him first? And was I not understanding enough to listen to you talk about dying with him before you came to your senses?” Her words were clipped as she unbuckled herself and removed herself from the passenger seat.
“Fuck, hold on. Wait, I didn’t mean it.” Kelce kept looking back and forth between her and the road, “I’m sorry, I didn’t,” he tried but she tuned him out as she walked to the center of the bus, handing the map to Kiera. “Make sure he stays on the i40, will you?”
“Kaili!” Kelce tried again from the driver’s seat but she didn’t look back as she climbed into her own bunk, wishing for sleep to wash over her so she could get away from her reality.
Kaili woke up with the image of her covered in blood after killing all of her friends still in her mind. She decided that she hated sleeping even more than she hated her reality. Pushing the curtain to the side, she was desperate for air, desperate for any sort of comfort that this wasn’t how her life was going to end. Alone because her friends had turned into flesh eating monsters. Stepping out of her bunk, she noticed that the door was open. Kelce must have parked the bus somewhere for the night so that he could get some rest and they must have decided to cook something. She was a little disappointed that no one had woken her up but sleep was hard to come by and they must’ve realized that.
Taking a few steps to the open door, she saw the flicker of the fire that someone had going. There had to be someone out there because there was no way that someone had started a fire and left the door to the bus open, leaving them all vulnerable. As she took a step down from the bus, she saw a young boy’s silhouette, his hair messy and sticking out on all sides.
“Hey, Jay,” she tried not to startle the boy as she spoke softly. He held a stick with a knife taped around the end of it, making the weapon a spear, across his lap as he stared into the fire.
“Hey, Li,” he replied. It took him a couple of breaths before he tore his eyes away from the fire to look at her. The sadness in his eyes made her want to rush over to him and hug him but she didn’t. She slowly walked over to him and sat on the ground next to JJ.
“What’s up?” Kaili asked, a small smile laced her lips. It felt weird asking such a normal question.
“You know, the usual. Surviving a zombie apocalypse, you?” JJ was quick with his comeback, he always was.
She couldn’t help but let out a small laugh, “yeah? Same but I feel like saying this is ‘surviving’ is a stretch.”
JJ sighed, “to be honest, me, too. I feel like we’re all starting to hate each other and I don’t think I can do it if we do end up hating each other. I mean, I’m pretty sure John B hates me for leaving him.”
Kaili watched JJ as his shoulders slumped forward, his body almost curling into itself. “He doesn’t hate you. John B made a choice and you made yours.”
“Yeah, but now he’s stuck there with Sarah and Wheezie and we both know Wheezie can’t fight for shit. If he needs help, he practically has no one.” JJ said concern in his voice and though Kaili wanted to defend Wheezie, she knew that he was right. Her heart did clench when he spoke about the girl though, she missed her a lot.
“Hey, Sarah can hold her own. I’ve seen her fight. And remember, he had a choice to come with you, too. He could’ve changed his mind at any moment but he didn’t because he knew that you two had different paths. There’s no way he’s upset with you.”
“I guess. I just feel like I’m the only one in this group that feels bad about leaving the other, you know? Maybe John B understands and doesn’t feel bad because he chose to stay because Sarah chose to stay and he’s with her and Pope chose to leave because Kie chose to leave and he’s with her and where does that leave me? Outside, thinking about how it seems so easy for everyone to leave me and so hard for me to leave everyone.”
Kaili let his words sink in and she does see it through his eyes, maybe he was even right. His friends weren't really thinking about him when they chose if they wanted to stay or go because it was their partners who decided. She didn’t know what to say and how to comfort him so she stayed silent, reaching her hand out to touch his arm.
JJ looked at her hand on his arm before reaching his hand over and covering hers with his, “maybe I also followed Pope because I think he needs me more than John B does even if I wanted to stay with John B. I don’t know. My head is jumbled and I don’t know what I’m saying. It’s late and the bus broke down and everything sucks.”
“I understand,” Kaili started, leaning her head onto his shoulder before jolting back up in a sitting position, “excuse me, the bus did what?”
“Oh yeah,” JJ motioned back to the supposed hunk of junk behind them, “it started making this noise on the interstate like an hour ago and Kelce was able to drive it to an exit and into this weird woods area. It’s not completely broken down as in like it turned off on us but I think the old girl has run her course.”
Kaili knew that it was coming so she didn’t know why she was so upset that it happened so soon. Only two days after John B had called it, maybe he cursed it. She felt herself not able to breathe thinking about how they had to take the route by foot and if they’d make it. Maybe they’ll be able to fix the bus or even take another car. She doesn’t know how to hijack a car but maybe she could try. Was it Topper, they said that stole the bus? She couldn’t remember, it was so long ago. When she came to, she felt pressure on both sides of her face, her vision clearing as JJ’s face came into view.
“Breathe,” he said slowly, mimicking labor breathing exercises. “There, you go. Keep breathing.”
She blinked away her panic and tried to shake his hands off the side of her face but JJ didn’t allow her.
“You’re with three pogues, here. We grew up fixing cars, stealing them, and camping. You’re going to be okay.” and though those words should’ve made her feel worse, it did calm her down. She was supposed to be surrounded by people who knew their way around machinery and the outdoors, she was supposed to be fine.
Morning arrived and they were most definitely not fine. Turns out that when she had gone back to try and sleep, the commotion she heard outside in the morning was the boys fighting over the look of the engine as they took it apart to see what was wrong and in the midst of doing that, they lost a piece. Which then, in turn, made them actually fight each other.
Kaili ran out to the sound of Kiara shouting. She had thought that they were being overrun by zombies but no, all she saw was Kelce and JJ throwing punches and Topper having Pope up against the bus as he pulled his arm back to throw another punch. Kiera hopped up on Topper’s back, wrapping her arms around his neck so that it would restrict his airflow and that he had to concentrate on getting her off instead of punching Pope. Kaili ran over to Kelce and JJ, jumping directly between the boys, making her flush her chest against Kelce and her back against JJ.
“Stop it!” The girl hissed, staring Kelce right in his face. “You want to talk about things we cannot afford? A fight this loud in the woods when a zombie can pop up at any moment and end this fight for you is one of those things.”
“This idiot here lost the piece on purpose!” Kelce growled but lowered his voice.
“That makes no sense, why would I even do that?” JJ on the other hand, did not. He tried to nudge Kaili to the side to attempt to take another hit at Kelce but Kaili gripped onto the front of Kelce to prevent her from moving.
“Stop!” Her whisper yelling surprisingly caught the attention of the other fight happening next to them. Kiara finally got off of Topper whose face was bleeding and neck had scratches on it. “Are you guys crazy? Why would anyone lose a vital piece on purpose when this bus is our only source of transportation? Come on, think about it.”
“Oh, I’ve had a lot of time to think about it,” Kelce chuckled darkly, taking a step forward, pushing Kaili further into JJ’s chest, “I’ve thought about it all last night. Wondering why on earth would he misplace anything this morning when he can have more nights outside of the bus with you all over him. Trust me, I’ve thought about it.”
“Seems like you’ve been fantasizing to me, buddy,” JJ said behind a dumbfounded Kaili.
She had deduced that Kelce probably saw her and JJ last night by the fire but she hadn’t done anything with JJ. There wasn’t even a tiny speck of a romantic spark between the two.
“Me…all over JJ?” Kaili had to wrap her head around what he was saying.
“I know what I saw.”
“I don't think you do because what you saw was two friends having a conversation,” Kaili insisted.
Kelce didn’t say anything as he took a step back and crossed his arms in front of his chest, staring down at Kaili.
“Let’s get back on the bus before whatever you guys had attracted with all the screaming finally comes our way,” Kaili huffed, pushing past Kelce.
When Kaili had climbed onto the bus, followed by the rest of her friends, she made her way to the back bedroom. She needed space right now to think about what they were going to do next. Of course, space was not something she was granted when Kelce slowly came into the bedroom and shut the door behind him.
“So, you’re fucking JJ now?” Kelce asked her as if he had wanted to know her favorite color. His eyes studied her movements and she hated when he did that.
“No, I’m not. You’d know that if you had just asked.”
“Didn’t look like I needed to ask when he was holding your face like you two had just kissed.” Kelce spat the words like they were foul in his mouth.
“I’m not going to apologize for how it /looked/ like, Kelce. How you interpret my friendship with other people is not my responsibility.”
“Of course it isn’t. I guess I’m just making shit up in my mind then, huh?” He pressed but his tone came out a bit different. It sounded a little less angry and a little more something that Kaili couldn’t place.
“What are you talking about?”
“I’ve asked you once before, I’m going to ask you again. Do you like him?”
Annoyed, Kaili glared at Kelce before parroting his words, “I’ve told you once before and I’ll tell you again, I like everyone here.”
“No, you don’t get to do that. You were really close to him at the house and now you were really up close and personal with him last night.”
“Guess who else I was really up close and personal with at the house, Kelce? You! You seem to forget, I’ve fucked you.” Kaili reminded him and for some reason, he had winced at her tone.
“Don’t play dumb, Kaili. Stupid doesn’t look good on you.”
“What do you mean? Come on, use your words, Kelce, since you’re so good at it.” Kaili pressed but her hands were shaking. She had clasped them behind her back to hide it from the man in front of her. “Do I want to date him? The answer is no.” She spoke before he could answer her question. She didn’t think that Kelce needed reassurance that she still liked him or wanted to be with him. Things were so hot and heavy back at that house but after Rafe, they had been a bit distant with each other and she knew why. He was grieving and so was she, they needed space. Maybe they still do but he had no right to talk to her the way he did just because he thought that she had moved on with someone else.
“You love me?” Kelce asked, his eyes piercing hers.
“Are you listening to yourself? How are you going to ask if I fucked JJ and then ask if I love you in the same conversation. You move through thoughts so fluid while I’m getting whiplash in this river rapids ride. You make everything so black and white, things are not that simple.” Kaili had replied, sitting down on the bed with a sigh. She put her face in her hands.
“We’re in the middle of an apocalypse, Kaili, love might just be the simplest thing right now,” Kelce let out a humorless laugh before leaning on the wall across from her. He had crossed his arms in front of his chest, the muscles that he had, protruding through his shirt sleeve.
“What does love have to do with this?” She questioned, exasperated, running her hands down her face and then looking at him in his eyes.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean us. You wouldn’t touch me until I admitted that I like you and now you won’t trust me until I say I love you?”
“I never said I don’t trust you and I know we’re not exclusive so I don’t feel like I’ve been cheated if you had slept with someone else. It just seems like every time I turn around, you’re getting closer to JJ. It would be different if you were like that with everyone and every guy but you’re not. Don’t lie to me, Kaili, you’re not like that with everyone.”
“Oh my God, Kelce.” Kaili’s shoulders dropped as she shook her head, “he’s my friend. I’m closer to him than I am to anyone else because he and I have no one else. No, let me finish,” she cut him off as he opened his mouth to say something, “you had Rafe and Topper. John B had Sarah, Kiera had Pope. That left Wheezie, JJ, and I on the outs. Yes, we have a connection and we like each other, you and I. There’s an obvious attraction between us and we talk but I did get close with Wheezie and JJ, too. So, now with everyone that’s gone, you still have Topper and Pope still has Kiera. JJ’s all by himself and yeah, that’s my friend, so I’m going to talk to him and I’m going to be close to him. I’m not going to apologize for finding a platonic connection with someone.”
Kelce stared at Kaili for what seems like eternity before he pushed himself off the wall and move to kneel in between her legs. He had slowly brought his hand up to her face and she leaned her cheek into his palm, “I’m sorry. It’s been a stressful week to say the least. I just– if you had seen me do this with a girl out there. Would you feel something?”
“Would I feel jealous? Yes, knowing full well we’re not exclusive, I’d actually be pretty pissed off if I found out you were with another girl. Though I’d also take into account that you’re mourning, we’re all grieving and some people need to be comforted. Bottom line, I’d ask you first before causing a scene.”
His thumb stroked her cheek bone as he wrapped his other arm around her waist to pull her flush against him, “You told me that I'd be using you as a distraction and that caring was a distraction. After everything that happened with Rafe and then losing his sisters right after, I feel so much for you that no matter how you feel for me, if everyone’s life was on the line right now, I’d choose you. I know that I’ve been distant and I’ve been processing and I’ve been mean but that’s how much I feel for you and maybe I don’t know exactly what love is because my whole life my parents threw money at me and even in a fucking apocalypse, my little sister chose her friends over me, but when I look at you I know that I want to protect you. I want to be with you and call you mine and okay, I lied, I’d go insane if you told me that you slept with JJ. Even though now I know better and I promise to never accuse you two of being anything other than friends again…even if I don’t like how he was touching you last night. It wasn’t him that I was angry at. I’ve been so in my head that I’ve gone the extra step without letting you know.”
And Kaili would be damned if she didn’t admit that she did love Kelce at this moment. She loved them all, sure, but when it comes to who she’d save if it was up to her, yeah, she’d choose him, too. She’d choose him every time.
“You’re dumb,” Kaili said with a smile, tears stinging her eyes.
“I’m dumb?”
“Yes, you make me angry and then you make me absolutely melt for you.”
Kelce did chuckle at that and the smile lingered on his lips as she pulled on the collar of his shirt to press her lips against his.
“I do promise you though, the minute you accuse me of being with someone else without asking me in private first, we’re done.”
“Understood. You’re mine, no one else’s.”
“Hold on, I never agre–” but Kaili was interrupted by a kiss so deep she didn’t remember what she was going to say. She didn't mind Kelce laying claim, though she thought that they had already been a thing since they had slept together back at the house. Since Kelce didn’t want to touch her unless she had agreed to seeing something more with him than just a lay. She knew that they’d always be more than just a lay though but that’s what scared her the first time. She knew that the minute she admitted that she was in love with Kelce Smith, she’d be done for.
Kaili adjusted her backpack, the straps digging into her shoulders. She angrily watched her step as she kept her brows furrowed at the ground. She hated camping and worst of all, she hated being scared. Now, walking through the woods in the middle of an apocalypse was a promise of both.
“Guys, you’re gonna wanna see this!” she heard Topper call from ahead of her. She looked behind her to Kelce, who insisted that she had to be ahead of her so that he can see if anything’s coming to attack her but also insisted on complaining about how slow she was walking. He had motioned her to keep following Topper’s voice, even coming up behind her to press his hands against her back pack and gave her a little push so that she could move a bit faster which pissed her off. When they finally caught up with Topper and JJ, the group stood there in awe. There was a big wooden gate in front of them and a wooden fence that rounded off to the side.
“What do you think is in there?” Kiara asked softly.
“How many of you are there?” A voice boomed from up top of the gate. Kaili whipped her head around to make sure that the voice wasn’t attracting more than just their attention.
“Six!” Topper responded almost immediately, receiving a smack in the head by JJ.
“You have no idea what their business is, why would you say that?” JJ questioned the older boy, wary of the sudden company.
“Are any of you injured or bitten?” The voice bellowed again.
This time it was Kelce who had responded, denying that any of them were hurt. JJ looked like he was about to lose his mind if one more person interacted with this being but before he could say another word, the gates slowly began opening. There, behind the doors, appeared a woman who was beckoning the group to come into what she called, the community. Topper was the first to lead followed by Pope and Kiera, who dragged JJ in with them. Kaili wasn’t far behind with Kelce at her back. Kaili couldn’t believe her eyes once they were finally inside. The gates had closed behind them but Kaili barely even noticed. Surrounding them were small cars and medium-sized RVs, people laying on blankets on the ground, others gardening, and there were children running around chasing each other. Laughter and conversation filled the air as people around them greeted them and talked amongst themselves. It was a community and they were surrounded by the true definition of life for the first time in a while.
Taglist: @downbytheouterbanks @annab-nana @anxietyandtacos @jellyfishbeansontoast @jiaraendgame @lowkeynopressure @thegreatestofheck @tomfreakinghollandneedsaoscar @phuvioqhile
