sometimes i wonder how kim roksoo felt when he predicted the second unranked monster attack.
i wonder if he bled a lot while analyzing the data, if he just sat there frozen when he churned out the answers, when the numbers pointed to something unquantifiable, unable to be categorized and beyond any of the levels humanity had constructed, something unranked.
maybe Lee Soohyuk and Choi Jungsoo were right there and they picked up tissues for him and water, shaking him by his shoulder and trying to get him to say something or pull him away from his calculations. I wonder if Kim Roksoo looked at them both and his mind added them the team to the equation and started calculating again.
I wonder how he felt when the data proved survival improbable. I wonder how he felt when record involuntarily compiled data from the first unranked monster attack. i wonder how he felt when the trends told him 'they're going to die'
i wonder if the data was right there, and kim roksoo was a rational person, but he ignored it all. I wonder if he looked at the concern in Lee Soohyuk's firm eyes or the worry laced in Choi Jungsoo's voice as he scolded him about pushing himself too hard, and saw it all stained in blood that wasn't spilled yet. Blood that would, predictably, be spilled in the future.
i wonder how he felt when he realized he was going to lose them.
i wonder how he felt when he was praying he'd just miscalculated.
i wonder how he felt when he saw them both dead at his feet before the monster even appeared.