#knitting gothic

[hidingbehindthestars]

Casting off the body of your sweater you excitedly pick up the stitches to knit the sleeve. The pattern calls for 19.5 inches.

The first day you knit 8 inches.

The second day you manage 4.

“Only 7.5 more to go!” You excitedly tell your friend, “I only started the sleeves yesterday but look how much I have done!”

“You’ll be done by the end of the week!” She encourages.

The third day you knit 3 more inches and measure your work. Just 4.5 inches to go!

You knit some more and measure again. 3 inches left!

You knit some more. 2.5 inches to go!

You finish another episode of the series you’re watching while knitting. 2.5 inches to go!

You knit another few rows. Only 1.5 more inches to go!

“Knit fast, die warm” you whisper to yourself as the clicking of your needles somehow slow down the faster your fingers knit.

You knit night after night for days, weeks.

You finish the season of the series you’re binge watching while knitting.

You measure again…

And again…

Just 1.5 inches left to go!

You finish your Netflix series and have to find a new one to binge.

You measure again…

And again…

Always 1.5 inches to go. The ball of yarn seemingly unchanged by the passage of time.

You add a stitch marker before you knit some more. Just a few more rounds… you can see the fabric work up.

This time you use a different measuring tape.

2.75 inches to go. The ball seems bigger, somehow.

Autumn winds howl at your door as you knit faster.

You measure again out of desperation, pulling on the sleeve just a little.

Nineteen inches.

Sacrificing a half inch you think, “what odds?” And move onto ribbing, desperate to move on to a new project.

You don’t remember knitting the second sleeve. But it’s finally time to block the sweater.

You measure the sleeves.

Twenty-one inches.

[rainbowlack]

knitting is extradimensional

you look for size 5 yarn. you only have size 6. they have no labels. what size are they? you only have size 4.

you have needles of all sizes. you have 3.75mm, 5mm, 6mm, 6.5mm, and 8mm. you do not have 8mm knitting needles, you never did. you decide to use 6.5mm needles. you do not have 6.5mm needles. the packaging reads "6.5mm" but the needles read "8mm." you have 2 8mm needles and 1 6.5mm needle. where did it come from? why is the packaging wrong?

you have 3.75mm and 5mm needles. you are using 6.5mm needles. you do not have any needles.

the yarn is a size 7.

[knitting-while-black]

(via Crap I Drew on My Lunch Break » 100% Acrylic Crack)

me

[socratesofthesocketset]

Yarn Gothic

-Your pattern calls for size 8 needles. You have all the size 8 needles in the world, you buy extras to teach people. You go to grab a pair. There are no size 8 needles.

-Your scarf is 3 feet long. It’s been 3 feet long for a month. No matter how much you knit/crochet, it will always be 3 feet long.

-You made a gauge swatch. It is perfect. The project you’re working on is nowhere near the right size. Your gauge still matches.

-You find the perfect yarn for a pattern you’ve been wanting to make. The craft store doesn’t carry it. The local yarn store doesn’t have it. It may have been discontinued years ago. It may never have existed. You no longer remember where you learned about it. 

-You’re running out of yarn on a project and go to buy more. The dye lot number is different. Is it close enough? Maybe. Pray to the yarn gods, they are sometimes gracious enough to grant small prayers.

-You vow to only buy yarn for planned projects, your stash is getting overwhelming. It doesn’t matter what you plan, your stash will still grow without your help.

-You have yarn you bought for a project once.It didn’t work out and now it sits in your stash. Forever. There will never be another project that’s right for it.

-You took up spinning to curb your yarn habit. Your yarn habit is now your fiber habit and you have dual stashes. You may never actually make anything out of most of the yarn you spin. Both stashes continue to grow when you’re not looking.

-Your wip basket has things in it from years ago. You’ve forgotten about them. You’ve forgotten the patterns. You’re not sure you ever made them in the first place.

-Somehow your 3 foot long scarf is finally long enough. You run out of yarn before the end.

[apolymathpainintheass]

You coworker asks you what your plans are. You start to talk about the concert you’re going to. “Knitting,” you say robotically. You try to tell them the book you’re reading. “Knitting,” you say robotically. They ask you what you want for lunch. “Knitting.” in the same robotic voice. There is only knitting now. 

[rosebramblewolf]

the pattern says three inches of ribbing. you rib for 38 rows. two and three quarters inches. the pattern says four inches of ribbing.

[thegreatlibraryoffae]

- K1 P1 K1 P1 K1 M1 P1 K1 P1 K1 P1 Sacrifice your first born K1 P1 K1 P1. Make sure to follow the pattern precisely.

- You walk into the yarn store. Just one skein. You only need one skein to finish the sweater. You have the dye lot written down, marked on the original wrapper from the old skeins. You can’t find the dye lot. It never existed. It was never real. The arcane sigils mean nothing and pain your eyes to look upon.

- The pattern takes a size 7 needle. Going through the roll, you have all but a 7. 1,2,3,4,5,6,8,9,10,10.5,11,12,13. There is no 7. You change patterns. The pattern takes a size 5 needle. Going through the roll, you have all but a 5. 1,2,3,4,6,7,8,9,10,10.5,11,12,13. There is no 5.

- Finally, after years, you have found your way to Webs. No more will you buy your yarn from the big box craft store, you swear. As you reach for the 100% alpaca, it melts away. The sock yarn. The cashmere. The bamboo silk. They all fade away to nothing, leaving behind only Red Heart.

- As the stitch drops, you can hear the screaming rush of the universe. The hole in your project grows larger and larger, a gaping maw that calls to you from the abyss. There is no escaping what you have wrought.

- As you approach the counter to pay for your single skein, you look down and realize that you are holding two. Three. Yarn just appears in your hands. Money streams out of your wallet. There will only be yarn. You will be yarn.

- You click to open your email. Ravelry opens. You click on Google. Ravelry opens. You click on Facebook. Ravelry opens. Finally, you click on Ravelry. Webs opens. Your cart is full.

[thegreatlibraryoffae]

1. You haven’t been to the yarn store in months, can’t remember the last time you bought yarn. There is always more yarn. The stash never runs out, never depletes. You knit and knit and knit and knit, but the yarn. Always the yarn.

2. Another row. Another row. Another day of knitting. Skein after skein. The scarf is never longer, never long enough. Two more inches, they cry. You’re making such progress, they cry. You keep knitting. Another week. Two more inches to go…

3. The group of knitters is at the coffee shop. They are always at the coffee shop. Always knitting, always talking. The projects never seem to finish, never seem to change. The knitters do.