#kolmon

[sharkboy305]

Pick a man for Damon to be dicked down by

Elijah Mikaelson

Alaric Saltzman

Klaus Mikaelson

Enzo st John

Matt Donovan

Finn Mikaelson

Kol Mikaelson

Mason Lockwood

Jeremy Gilbert

Tyler Lockwood

Voting ended onMar 16

[jacksonseymour13]

I don't want boring gay

I need crazy messy totallywannafuckbutwillalsokilleachother gay

[splatooshy]

we need more bi damon content. someone do something real quick so i don’t have to.

[sharkboy305]

Damon and all his boyfriends

[sharkboy305]

Damon collecting guys who teeter constantly between wanting to shut him up (killing him) and wanting to shut him up (fucking him)

[sharkboy305]

Damon deserved to be sluttified and passed around between the Mikaelson brothers

[splatooshy]

🎄🧛✨

NEW ORLEANS, 1914 - lore dump

okay so this au (which is always canon to me. in every fic of mine.) was inspired by a few things:

that interaction between kol and damon at the mikaelson ball in s3. “have we met?” “i’ve met a lot of people, and you… don’t particularly stand out.” makes me giggle. they’re so petty and for what.

the fact that marcel would absolutely despise damon. like i can’t imagine two people who would get on WORSE than them. especially since marcel is all about looking out for the little guy (even if it means going against his immediate circle), while damon looks out for his immediate circle only.

i just think that kol hitting on freya, getting rejected & then thinking to himself “ah, she must be a lesbian,” is hilarious. and i think that freya and damon would get on well, partly considering their similar mindsets with the small but profound list of people they’d do anything to protect. and also how freya’s life story is pretty much buck’s, the main character in call of the wild.

SO BASICALLY,

damon steps foot into the quarter and instantly manages to piss off marcel & his witches, but isn’t a big enough issue for klaus to take note of.

he and kol bump into eachother one night, and kol’s instantly suspicious of this young vampire who claims he doesn’t know who the mikaelsons are, and doesn’t bow down to marcel (revels in pissing him off, even). he finds damon refreshing (someone clueless but enthusiastic about vampirism, dislikes marcel, etc.). they then go their separate ways after a night of good fun.

the next night, he’s cornered by the witches in an alley next to the bar he’s in, and freya, who thought he looked pretty / interesting, (maybe saw him befriend her brother?) rescued him because why not. (maybe he reminded her of the man she loved once? maybe she was just getting fed up with the witches in the quarter. who knows). anyways so they become friends, eventually roommates.

so a month or so goes by, damon and freya now bffs, are sitting at a cafe maybe? or a park? idk. anyway, kol struts up (he sees the beautiful woman on a date with that fellow he bumped into a little while back, and decides to ask her out), introduces himself to freya, who goes, “not interested. thanks.” and kol’s all 💡 aha! “one for the ladies then? no matter,” and immediately starts flirting with damon. kol will not be dissuaded from the notion that freya is a lesbian, despite being told so & the fact that she, too, is sleeping with damon. he’s very supportive of her, though.

NOTES

“stirrer in the cauldron” refers to kol poking about the witchy area of the quarter.

witches sensing eachothers magic/family magic — when kol touches freya he can feel the ache of a phantom limb, and since he doesn’t know what that means, he just assumes it’s because she’s powerful/he’s into her. or that it’s because he’s jealous of her magic.

freya owned ‘call of the wild’ first. finds it relatable and inspiring. she gives it (and a copy of little briar rose or smth) to damon for christmas with an inscription (january 2014, dowager fauline cottage / something similar) that damon’s been trying to puzzle out ever since.

“It’s cute that you think this,” she gestures to all of him, “is intimidating.”

It's inconvenient. Damon looks down enough to glare at his traitorous dick. It always gets him into these situations.

FREYA’S FUCKBOY ERA

Freya smiled almost patronizingly. “Oh come on Damon, don’t play dumb. And here I thought that you were more than just a pretty face.”

“it’s a good thing you’re pretty,” Freya sighed, patting Damon on the cheek, “because there’s nothing up here.” Damon pouted as she poked his temple, pupils still blown from his recent feed.

“What’s a pretty little thing like you doing in a place like this?” Freya smirked, giving him the least subtle thrice-over Damon’s ever seen.

i can’t find the rest of my notes on this but i’ll rb with more if i do (i have two massive files that aren’t organised - they’re in there somewhere)

[splatooshy]

NEVER HAVE I EVER // MYSTIC FALLS GANG + MIKAELSONS

aka the ‘slutty damon salvatore’ agenda. set around s3?

“Never have I ever slept with a Salvatore,” Bonnie says, pleased with herself as she grins pointedly at Elena and Caroline. As expected, they both drink, along with Rebekah and Katherine, and to everyone’s surprise, Klaus, Kol, and Elijah.

Damon’s eyes go wide, before he shouts “BINGO!”, drawing everyone’s puzzled attention onto him. “I’ve got the full set,” he announces proudly, and receives even more confused looks in return. “I’ve slept with all of the living Mikaelsons,” he explains, before narrowing his eyes, “unless you have another sibling stashed away somewhere,” he says accusingly, visibly relaxing when Klaus (as keeper of the caskets) shakes his head.

“No, darling,” Kol purrs, eyeing the elder Salvatore seductively, mostly to see which entertaining reactions he can pull from the doppelgänger. “Just us four left. Now tell us, who was the best? It was me, right?” He asks with a wide grin.

Stefan, staring gobsmacked at Klaus, asks him, “When was this?” Klaus smirks back. “Just a one night stand before we met, Rippah.” Damon rolls his eyes and interjects, “Like 1860, Stef. No need to get jealous - it was long before we turned.”

Elena eventually manages to gather her wits, eyes flickering around the room as she digests this newest information dump. “I’m sorry, what?!” She asks, shooting both Salvatores a hurt glare. “Since when are you two gay?” Stefan frowns. “I’m not?” He says, at the same time Damon says “Since never?”

“B-but…. Why?” Elena asks, disgust evident in her tone.

Damon pulls a face. “Look at them,” he points, the ‘duh’ implied, and Stefan nods along as his brother continues. “Why not? I highly recommend it.”

Pouting because his question remains unanswered, Kol asks again, “So, Damon, now that you’ve had the pleasure of bedding each of us, who’s your favourite?” Katherine snorts at the puppy dog eyes and fluttering lashes Kol gives. “Elijah,” Damon instantly says, tossing a saucy little wink towards the eldest Original.

“What? Why?” Kol whines, so not okay with being outdone by his big brother. “Well,” Damon starts, slowly trailing a finger around the rim of his glass, “for starters, have you seen how hard—“

“That’s enough, Damon!” Elijah says, blushing furiously. Damon looks back, innocently. “I was just gonna say how hardworking you are.” Turning back to the group, Damon grins deviously. “Plus, he’s got a huge co- “LALALALA,” Rebekah covers her ears in disgust.

“Collection of suits…” Damon trails off. “But seriously, that dick though…” He’s interrupted by a large hand slapping over his mouth, but he just licks it away. “I mean, what a ride.”