[i.d. A twitter user with an icon of taako dressed as jenna marbles in early 2000's accessories has posted two photos with the caption "gona delete". The first image is of taako taking a mirror selfie. He has a bowlcut and is throwing up a peace sign. Taako wears a wizard hat and hoodie. The second image is a closeup of taako's haircut with a pink heart filter. He winks at the camera while the words "bowl cut bitch" cover part of his face. Another user with a kravitz icon, also dressed in early 2000's accessories, replies "well hurry up" end i.d.]
I think more people should give Kravtiz wings. In my head he is a bird
[Image description: digital art of Kravitz from The Adventure Zone, seen from the waist up. He's a slim Black man with long dreadlocks in a partial bun, medium-dark brown skin with a red undertone, and large dark purple wings folded behind him.
He's dressed formally, and a book floats above one of his open palms, as he speaks with a haughty expression. The background is white, with several purple shapes behind Kravitz. End description.]
Another more recent commission for FoolishLilFail of their Imperial mercenary-for-hire, Kravitz! I had lots of fun on the design for his outfit, especially the spiky incense shoulder pieces.
If you're interested in grabbing one of your own, check out my USD commissions thread~
taako: depression says No Interaction
kravitz: >:)
taako: fuck you there is only one bitch i will interact with rn
Tags are referencing this post!
[Image description: A four panel comic featuring Taako and Kravitz from The Adventure Zone: Balance podcast, preceeded by screencaps of several Tumblr tags.
The tags read: “This is EXACTLY my shit holy fuck. These two dramatic icons mean everything to me. Like he is still pissed at her but the look on her face at seeing Susan’s bullshit is priceless to him. Taako needed his wine and complaining person and Lucretia is the best for that. IncredIble. I live for post S&S Taako and Lucretia just vaguely being dicks to each other in an effort to reform their bond. They are strained, they are family, they can’t stand each other, they are friends. They contain multitudes. Yes! They should be close!“ There is an additional comment that says, “Hope you don’t mind me adding ID for the tags,” and a handwritten response from the artist reads, “V smart! Thank you, I forgot!” There is a further standalone comment that reads, “Team bonding. That’s actually why Krav invites Susan over all the time,” and the artist has responded, “OP your mind!!!”
In the first panel of the comic, Taako is curled up in a chair reading a book. He looks tired. Kravitz is behind the chair petting his hair and saying, “You look like you’ve been here all day, love!” Taako responds, “Mmm. Didn’t feel like going out.” The second panel is a closeup of Kravitz’s expression, unimpressed. He asks, “You haven’t moved?” and Taako replies, “Nope.” He then asks, “Have you talked to anybody?” and Taako only says, “Mm.” In the third panel, Kravitz is leaning against a wall in the next room with his arms folded and one leg propped up. He has his Advneture Zune out and is saying, “Hello Susan. Taako and I were wondering if you’d like to come for dinner,” into it. Taako in the backround has laid his head on the arm of the chair and his ear has perked up. In the final panel Taako is angrily snatching his own Adventure Zune off the floor and dialing; a computerized voice coming out of it reads, “Calling Lucretia.” Taako looks extremely perturbed and is muttering, “Motherfucker.” End ID.}
[ID: Comic consisting of multiple images. First Image is a doodle of Kravitz, the grim reaper, in front of an open rift in space. He is telling Lup and Barry, an elven woman and human man respectively, “Barry’s in charge while I’m away.” Second image is of Lup and Barry, with Lup resting one hand on Barry’s chest and the other poised a the side of her. She says, seductively, “Oh no… the power imbalance… you could order me to do just about anything and… I’d just HAVE to do it.” Third image shows Barry declaring with all seriousness, “ I would NEVER abuse my power or take advantage of you!” to Lup’s surprise. Fourth image is of him looking resolved while Lup kind of pouts. Fifth image is of Edward and Lydia, a pair of elf twins, in their cell in the eternal stockade. Lydia is saying “This is a war crime that we have to witness this,” while Edward repeatedly exclaims, “Make it stop make it stop!” End ID]
Based off of this post by @asimovsideburns and @tazdelightful. I couldn’t resist :3
45 (the human bones can be forgiven but if they load the dishwasher wrong one more time) w taakitz :O?? -ise
Prompt from this prompt list here! <- Still accepting! (But may take a while to get to it)
Also, I am really really sorry it took so long to finish this one 😭
~
It's early afternoon by the time Taako comes home from his visit to his Amazing School of Magic, and though he spent all morning performing for his students, answering their questions, and, of course, giving out free autographs, he finds himself with enough energy and motivation to do something other than crash on the couch and watch The Great Faerûnian Bake Off. It's a good thing too, he muses, as he drops his keys down on the kitchen counter and surveys the room and the rooms beyond the kitchen. The house isn't a total disaster; just a little messy. There's a few things scattered across the kitchen counters and some dishes left in the sink, and the living room has some blankets and pillows thrown around the room. All of it is covered in cat fur, he's sure. He's been meaning to do some deep cleaning too, so maybe this is the day to do it.
Taako checks and refills Tiny Taco's water fountain before he jogs upstairs to his bedroom. He stops on the stairs for a few moments as the cat himself slinks up to him and rubs his face against his leg, purring. Taako bends down and pets him for a few seconds before he laughs and says, “I missed you too, pumpkin, but I need to go change so I can start cleaning.”
Tiny Taco blinks up at him and meows.
Taako sighs. “Fine, but I can't hold you for very long,” he relents before scooping the cat up into his arms and continuing on.
Tiny Taco's ears perk up when they enter the bedroom, and he leaps out of Taako's arms and runs up to his cat tree before climbing it and laying down on the top platform. Taako waves at him before he opens his closet and rifles through his clothes to find a less decorative outfit. Something suitable for cleaning. He finds one of Magnus' old shirts that he thinks he actually got back when they were running from the Hunger. He slides it off the hanger and gets a better look at it. It's a souvenir t-shirt for an amusemet park that they went to back in cycle 43 if he remembers correctly. No idea how it ended up in his closet after...
It doesn't matter, he decides, as he closes the closet and digs out a pair of Kravitz's sweatpants out of the dresser. It's his now. That's how it has always worked, and it'll serve him well in preventing chemicals getting on his better shirts.
After he changes outfits and rebraids his hair, Taako gets to work picking things up from the floor and the counters and putting them away. He throws the blankets and pillows from the living room into the washer, and uses the time waiting for the laundry to be done to vacuum the carpet and the couch. By the time the timer for the dryer goes off, he's wiped down the dining room table and chairs and cleaned up most of the guest bathroom. He finishes what he's doing there before he grabs the blankets and pillows and brings them to the living room where he places the pillows back on the couch and folds the blankets. Once the blankets have been folded, he carefully carries them in a stack to the upstairs hall closet and opens the door.
It is in this moment that Taako remembers why the blankets were in the living room in the first place.
He should not have opened the closet door.
That's his last thought before a huge pile of bleached humanoid bones and skeletons slam into him and knock him to the floor. The stack of blankets fly out of his hands and unfold on top of him, covering his head and chest in a big pile of warm fabric as bones continue to pile on top of the rest of him and the blankets. After the pile of bones settles, he lays there for a few moments longer before slowly pushing the blankets up and off of his face. He can feel bones being disrupted and falling to the sides of him as he shoves the blankets away from him, and as soon as he gets free from the blankets, a human skull knocks him on the forehead before rolling down next to his ear. He looks over to stare at it, and the skull stares back with its empty eye sockets.
“I need to talk to him about this, this is getting ridculous,” Taako mutters before fighting his way to a sitting position. He doesn't necessarily mind that Kravitz has been collecting skeletons from raids on wayward souls that have been borrowing them after their escape from the Astral Plane. Trying to find where they belong is hard when they're found nowhere near any identifiable graveyards. But they need to find some other place to put them for now while Kravitz works this out. He wants his closet space back.
After about fifteen minutes of struggling and cursing, Taako manages to shove all of the skeletons back into the closet and slam the door closed behind them. He keeps his back up against it for a few seconds and sighs before moving on to fold the blankets again and carrying them back down stairs to lay them back on the couch for the time being. He stands there staring at the blankets on the couch with his hands on his hips. His energy is waning, but he thinks he has enough to put the few remaining dishes in the sink into the dishwasher. Then when Kravitz, Lup, and Barry get home, he can enlist them to show Kravitz how to clean the oven and stove if they're not too exhausted.
Taako turns on his heel and walks into the kitchen. He turns the water on in the sink and opens the dishwasher, but he quickly turns off the water again as he swears in irritation. He pulls out the bottom rack and looks it over more closely before roughly pulling back the top rack. Kravtiz must have been the one to fill up the dishwasher last. Taako's wooden spoons are laying in the top rack, the bowls and plates are all out of order, some of the knives in his brand new knife set that shouldn't be in there in the first place are blade up in the cutlery rack, and Lup's favorite mugs that also shouldn't be in the dishwasher are spread out along the top rack. It's the worst use of space Taako has ever seen, and he is so glad that he found this before it got ran and destroyed a quarter of the dishes in there.
He takes a second to breathe and calm down. He's just trying to help. He hasn't had to do the dishes in at least over a century, so he has to be patient. He can show him how to fill the dishwasher again, and maybe this time he will get it. Because as much as he loves that man, if Kravitz ruins his knives and wooden spoons, he's going to strangle him.
Not that it would do much, but the sentiment would be clear.
Taako breathes in... then out. In... Out... In... Out... Then he turns the water back on again and rescues his spoons and Lup's mugs first before he finishes sorting out the rest of that mess.
-
-
“Hey, babe! We're home!” Kravitz's voice rings out as Taako hears the front door slam behind him.
Taako gets up from the couch, and as he approaches the front hallway, Lup stomps past him and starts heading up the stairs. “I'm going to be in the bath for the next hour and a half. Don't call for me unless the house is burning down.”
“That bad huh?” Taako calls after her, but he doesn't get a response.
Barry walks up to him next, and he's covered head to toe in blood. Taako can't tell if it's his blood or other people's blood, but either way, Barry looks too exhausted to do much about it himself. He stops to look at him for a few moments before he sighs and says, “Remember the city that worshipped that super powerful necromancer back in cycle 55 and had a whole army of zombies at their disposal?”
Taako shivers involuntarily. That was one of the cycles that he died during while trying to get the Light out of the necromancer's tower. Being eaten by zombies is definitely not the most elegant way to go.
“Imagine that, but instead of a city, it's a still pretty sizable cult, but also instead of facing off against a dragonborn necromancer, it's a dracolich,” Barry says.
“Complete with zombies?”
“Complete with zombies,” Barry affirms as he nods his head gravely. Then he trudges past him and walks up the stairs too.
Taako sighs and rubs a hand down his face. Shit. How is he going to get through to Kravitz the importance of a well loaded dishwasher if he just came back from a really hard and exhausting mission?
He's broken out of his thoughts as Kravitz finally makes his way past the front hall and up to where he's standing. He also looks a lot worse for wear with his clothes torn and blood caking his hair and body. He looks exhausted, but he still manages to give Taako a dazzling smile as he says, “Hey, babe. I'd give you a hug and a kiss, but I don't think you want to get blood all over you.”
Taako grins back. “Decidedly not. Um, I know you just got back from a super hard job, but when you get all cleaned up and everything, I need to talk to you about something.”
Kravitz frowns worriedly. “Is everything okay?”
Taako sighs. “Yeah, everything's fine, I was just doing some cleaning earlier, and– I guess I need to talk to you about two things because, babe, I know having an excess number of skeletons comes with the territory of dating the Grim Reaper, but I'd really like my closet space back.” Kravitz laughs, and Taako laughs a little too before his smile fades again. “The thing I really need to talk to you about though–” He takes a deep breath. “–Thank you for loading the dishwasher, I really appreciate it and that you're trying to help around the house–”
Kravitz's face falls. “I did it wrong again, didn't I?”
Taako tries to give him a patient and reassuring smile. “Yeah, but I know you're trying your best, so I'm going to show you how to load it again, and if you want, it might help if you write it down, so you'll have something to reference when you do it next time.”
Kravitz smiles a little again. “That's a good idea. I'll be sure to grab a pen and paper on my way back down after showering.”
“Thank you.”
Kravitz blows him a kiss, and Taako smiles bigger and blows a kiss back. Then he watches his boyfriend walk upstairs with his heart full of love. He's going to get it this time, he's sure of it. He's going to master the art of proper dishwasher procedure, and Taako isn't going to have to worry about rescuing his non-dishwasher safe dishes ever again.
