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i don’t usually go in for the five time/one time genre of fanfic bc it ends up reading a little artificial but in my head i often play around with ‘five things chas taught john (and one thing john taught chas)’ based mostly on the fact that john might as well have been raised by wolves and it’s not like chas had a much better upbringing but realistically, where john was able to run away and form a punk band with his loser friends and learn magic (while cheryl probably ended up having to do all the stuff around the house like cooking and cleaning and taking care of their drunk af father, bc Girl and Older), chas was the only child stuck taking care of his verbally/physically abusive bed-bound mother and their house.
so chas has actual like – life skills he had to learn bc otherwise he’d have starved, whereas john is an inveterate user who by necessity is good at eliciting enough sympathy from well-meaning people and keeping himself fed and clothed in that way.
so any sort of thing that – in a good & fair world – john would’ve been taught by his father or mother (or, if she hadn’t been going through so much herself, his sister), john actually learned from chas, who was aghast at john’s inability to take care of himself but not as willing as most of john’s bf/gfs of the week to put up with his shit, though in some ways he does still do a lot for john.
most of these are really for the contingency/reality that chas recognizes which is: john won’t be sticking around and will need to learn to do some things on his own once chas isn’t there to do them for him.
hence: five things chas chandler taught john constantine
how to drive – not very successfully, but well enough that john has a driver’s license
how to ride a bike – awks and hilarious and john hated him for making john do it but it stuck
how to cook – as much as john can
how to shoot a gun – i’m still mystified as to chas’s ability with firearms (shotguns aren’t really a big part of Brooklyn culture as far as i know) but as an american he’d def/prob have step up on john
how to be in a relationship that last more than one week – not that like, chas has any real experience with that either but they kind of. learn it together.
(and one thing john constantine taught chas chandler)
never fall in love with john constantine – i mean. obviously. like obviously on their first time around trying the whole ‘relationship’ thing it – didn’t work out great.
