Zanka, the Flame of Life and Jabber, the Kiss of Death. They always meet on battlefields (wastelands of war, serene deathbeds in hospitals); Jabber whisks those whose time is up away, Zanka reinvigorates those who still have the will to live burning in them (often, it is Jabber that wins).
Rated M Calex drabble, AU where Casey lives with Alex while she's censured. Angsty non-explicit sex and weird power dynamics leading to mildly dubious consent ahead.
Nobody knows that Casey is living with her. Alex is a little more distant with the Special Victims Unit than she used to be, not wanting to give herself away. One of the detectives—Olivia, of course—eventually asks Alex how Casey is doing, and Alex, just barely stopping her nostrils from flaring, tells Olivia that she doesn’t know.
But, silently, after Olivia leaves, she looks at the clock, and realizes that Casey is making their dinner right now. And when she gets back, while they eat, Casey will ask how work was, what’s been happening, and Alex will remind her that she isn’t supposed to discuss cases with her, and then she will discuss it anyway.
(This little game might come from a secret need to control her, to humble her, to remind her that Alex is powerful where she is weak, but Alex doesn’t want to admit that she is that kind of monster.)
Alex will tell Casey that dinner was wonderful, that she was thankful that Casey was taking such good care of the house for her, and then Casey will run them a bath. Alex will touch her beneath the water, and Casey will touch her too, and Alex will pretend that Casey has no regrets about what they are doing.
(She pretends that Casey hadn’t turned her down the first time, only to offer herself later as an apology. She pretends that Casey is in love with her, not young and afraid and alone.)
After, as if to make up for always toeing the line, Alex will wash Casey’s hair, her body, keeping her porcelain doll in perfect condition. Casey will writhe at the affection, and Alex will kiss every new freckle that she finds.
(Oh, her skin has gotten so pale—Alex needs to take her out more often.)
They will towel off and fall asleep in each other’s arms after Casey whispers thank you. Alex will wake up in the morning, and Casey will wake up right after her, rushing to prepare breakfast for Alex before she has to go to work, and then she will spend the day doing what she always does: reading, cleaning, and waiting for Alex to come home.
(Alex is waiting, too. She loves Casey so much, as more than a plaything, more than a pet, but this is all she has.)
Alex knows this will not last forever. She knows that the shell of a woman barely taking up space inside of her home is not Casey Novak, but a walking formation of internalized frustration and despair. She knows that, when Casey returns to work—and Alex knows that she will, Alex knows that Casey is down but not out—this fantasy world will cease to exist. And yet, she cherishes it, whatever “it” is. She cherishes the way Casey’s eyes light up at the sight of her, she cherishes the manufactured intimacy. She even cherishes the crying spells, after a period of time, when she realizes how sweet the tears taste on her tongue, how tightly Casey holds her when it’s over. Alex comes to love the beautiful mess that is called Casey, fleeting and pitiful as she is. She’s happy that she uttered the words you should come stay with me, and she is happy that Casey was broken enough to accept.
i know leo is spiderwoman But spiderwoman being near jaidens house which in a way is a memorial for bobby... and the roier spiderman imagery...... no theres Something here........
