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SoâŚI re-wrote the 4 letter. I think the one I posted previously was too calm, I didnât have enough crossed out parts.This one portrays much more complex, complicated and piercing emotions and there where no tears. I generally wasnât satisfied with it. However Iâm not deleting it, Iâm just posting a, in my opinion, better version.
if you want to check out previous letters(which I highly recommend because it gives more context) click here
I miss clouds. I miss you.
WRITERS OF BYLER TUMBLR
Reblog this with a letter that you think Mike might written and not sent to Will
Itâs just a sketch but I want draw a dreaming sad will so much đĽšđđ
peak byler culture is scrolling through tumblr seeing a post about a new gate and just accepting it yes this is canon now
conformity gate is really well thought out and it adds up evidence very well
but we also thought that about painting gate, lovers lake gate, flicker gate, pipe gate, letters gate, church gate, mike getting vecna'd, will getting possessed, will being possessed, mike internalized homophobia, the plot holes being filled, miwi, crazy together, blue and yellow gate, and most importantly byler in general
Tell Me Something I Donât Know - Byler
Summary: On Will's last night in Hawkins before leaving for New York Mike invites him for one final sleepover. When they start revealing secrets, things they've wanted to say for years are finally put out into the open.
Word Count: 6,797
Content: Mike Wheeler x Will Byers, angst, fluff, white girl wasted Will, sad drunk Mike, basement sleepover, past Bychance, jealous Mike, mentions of suicide and suicidal thoughts, painting gate, letter gate, love confessions, first kiss, making out
A/N: My Byler depression got to me so I wrote this. Iâm counting this as canon because itâs set after the epilogue so how do we know this didnât really happen?
Hopperâs cabin was buzzing with the din of music and the conversation of tipsy teenagers. It was Willâs going away party. He was leaving for New York the next day and Jonathan had surprised him with a big get together. Everyone was there; Jonathan, Joyce, Hopper, Dustin, Lucas, Max, Robin, Nancy, Steve, and even some new friends heâd made during his last year of high school. And, of course, Mike. Hopper had allowed them to drink a little bit of alcohol (although theyâd all snuck way more than the one cup heâd permitted), and by the time everyone began to leave Will was pretty wasted and doing an awful job hiding it.Â
âWill, how much have you had to drink?â Jonathan asked, pulling Willâs cup out of his hand.Â
âChill, Jonathan, Iâm fine,â Will slurred in reply. Â
âSeriously, Will. Momâs starting to notice.âÂ
âHe hasnât had that much,â Max said, coming up behind Will. âIâve been watching him. I think heâs just a lightweight.âÂ
âI am not!â Will pouted, but he immediately stumbled over his own feet. He overbalanced and fell to the side, right into Mike.Â
âWoah, be careful,â Mike said, irritated, until he saw who it was that had fallen into him. âOh, Will, you okay?â His voice immediately softened.Â
âYes, Iâm okay. Jonathan thinks I canât handle my alcohol, but heâs wrong.âÂ
âYeah, you seem completely sober,â Mike said half-heartedly. Â
In truth, Mike had been drinking a lot more than his fair share too. But he was drinking to forget. The only trouble was, he wasnât forgetting; he was only getting sadder. The thought of Will leaving for New York had been eating away at him ever since Will had shown him his college acceptance letter. And now that Willâs departure was a mere day away, Mike was minutes away from a full-blown breakdown.Â
âHey guys, my momâs here. I gotta go,â Dustin said sadly, walking over to the group. âIâm going to miss you so much, Will.âÂ
Will smiled, his eyes welling with tears. âOh, Dustin, come here,â he said, pulling Dustin into a hug.Â
Not long after Dustin left, Lucasâs dad arrived to collect Lucas and Max. They said their emotional goodbyes and wished each other good luck for college. They were all leaving within the next week.Â
Well, all except Mike; the last one left at the party. Mike was taking a gap year to figure out what he wanted to do. Thatâs what he told people anyway. Really, he wasnât sure he wanted to do anything at all. He felt stuck, like he had no path forward. Ever since everything went down with the Upside Down heâd not been able to see a future for himself. Everyone else was getting out of Hawkins and doing what theyâd always dreamed of doing but Mike didnât have any dreams. Not any he felt it could pursue anyway. Â
âYou okay, kid?â Â
Mike jumped as Hopper placed a hand on his shoulder. He hadnât realised heâd been sitting in a daze for the last few minutes with a woeful frown on his face. Â
âWhat? Uh, yeah. Iâm fine,â Mike replied, barely able to conjure up his voice. âMaybe just had too much to drink.âÂ
âYeah, I really shouldâve made this an alcohol-free party,â Hopper lamented, pointing towards Will who was twirling around the room as upbeat music played from the stereo. Â
Mike stared longingly at Will. He was so carefree. Ever since theyâd taken down the Mind Flayer heâd been a different person, a happier person. Ever since heâd come out heâd been so much more free. Â
Mike was the opposite. Ever since the Upside Down was destroyed, and El with it, heâd shut down. Sure, he still had fun with his friends. He enjoyed his last year of school and hosted as many D&D campaigns as he possibly could. But he still felt like there was something weighing down on him, not allowing him to be as happy as everyone else was.Â
âMike, dance with me,â Will laughed, skipping over to him.Â
âNo, Iâm good,â Mike shrugged. Â
âCome on, Iâm leaving tomorrow. You have to,â Will begged, holding out his hands in front of Mike.Â
Mike sighed and looked around the room. Hopper and Joyce were sitting in the corner talking and Jonathan had gone to his room.Â
âOkay, fine,â Mike said, feeling an electric shock shoot up his body as he placed his hands in Willâs. Will pulled him up from the couch and was already jumping up and down. But then the song changed from the fast beat of Boney M. to the more soulful tones of âUnchained Melodyâ. Â
Will, following the beat of the music, stopped jumping and instead wrapped his arms around Mikeâs neck and began rocking back and forth. Mike stood rigid, his hands by his sides. Alcohol obviously had very opposite effects on the two boys.Â
âMike, you're not dancing,â Will whined. He removed his arms from around Mikeâs neck for just a second to grab Mikeâs hands and place them on his waist. âI thought you already knew how to slow dance.âÂ
âI do, I-â Mike couldnât think of what to say. He was too focussed on the feeling of his hands resting on Willâs hips. Â
âRelax, Mike. Dance.âÂ
Mike exhaled deeply and willed his body to shift from side to side. As soon as he started moving Will pulled him closer and rested his head on his chest. It took all of Mikeâs strength not to place his chin on Willâs head. He gulped and looked back over at Hopper and Joyce. They were still engrossed in conversation.Â
Mike shut his eyes and focussed on the feeling of Willâs body against his. He listened to Willâs breathing and began to breath in time with him. Eventually his body relaxed.Â
âIâm going to miss you the most,â Will murmured drunkenly, nuzzling his head against Mikeâs chest.Â
Mike bit his lip to stop himself from crying.Â
They danced until the song finished and then, as if on cue, there was a knock at the door. Mike instantly pulled away from Will. Joyce rose from her chair to get it. She opened the door to find Karen, there to pick up Mike. Â
Mike felt like he was going to be sick. This was it. He wasnât going to see Will again before he left. And with Hopper and Joyce moving to Montauk, Will had no reason to ever return to Hawkins. Â
Mike could hear Joyce and Karen talking by the door, but he couldnât shift his eyes away from Will. Â
Will stared back at Mike with tears in his eyes. The alcohol had helped him cope with the fact that he was leaving, but now it was all too real. Once Mike walked out the door he wasnât sure when heâd ever see him again. Mike had no reason to visit him in New York. He suddenly didnât feel so giddy anymore.Â
âYou ready Mike?â Karen called from the door.Â
âUm, yeah,â Mike muttered, trying to force himself away from Will. But Will caught him in a hug before he could move.Â
âPlease donât ever stop being my best friend,â Will whispered, his breath tickling Mikeâs ear.Â
âI could never,â Mike replied. He held Will tighter than he ever had. He didnât want to let go. He didnât want to watch as Will left to live his life and he was stuck in Hawkins with no clue what to do. He just wanted things to go back to the way they were.Â
âCome home with me,â he said suddenly, still holding Will close to him.Â
âWhat?âÂ
âLetâs have one last sleepover in my basement.âÂ
Will's mouth spread into a grin. He couldnât think of anything better than spending his last night in Hawkins in one of the only places he felt safe.Â
âOkay, yeah. Let me ask mom.âÂ
Will pried himself away from Mikeâs grasp and went over to talk to Joyce. Meanwhile, Mike spoke to Karen about it.Â
âMom, can Will come over so we can have a sleepover in the basement?âÂ
âAs long as Joyce is okay with it,â Karen shrugged.Â
âAs much as Iâd love for you to spend your last night in Hawkins with us, yes, go have fun,â Joyce said.Â
Mike and Will beamed at each other before walking out the door and getting into Karenâs car. Â
When they got to the Wheelerâs house Will was still stumbling. Mike grabbed two glasses from the kitchen cupboard and filled them with water.Â
âThanks,â Will said, taking one of the glasses from Mikeâs hand. âI promise I didnât mean to drink that much.âÂ
âYou didnât drink that much. You just canât handle it,â Mike laughed.Â
âHey.â Will pushed Mike playfully.Â
âQuiet boys, Hollyâs sleeping,â Karen whispered from the stairs.Â
âSorry Mrs Wheeler.âÂ
âSorry Mom.âÂ
Mike and Will quietly made their way down to the basement. Will instantly threw himself on the mattress on the floor. Mike sat on the couch.Â
Mike sipped his water awkwardly, not sure what to say anymore. Will stared at the ceiling. His head was still spinning, but not quite as much as before. Â
âTell me something I donât know,â he said after minutes of silence.Â
âWhat?âÂ
âTell me something about you that I donât know.âÂ
âWill, youâre my best friend. You know everything about me,â Mike lied.Â
âCome on, Mike. There has to be something.âÂ
âThereâs not.âÂ
âOkay, Iâll go first then,â Will said, screwing up his face to think. âUm, let me see. Oh, okay, when I was maybe nine or ten I stole a packet of Sour Patch Kids from Bradleyâs Big Buy.âÂ
âYou, Will Byers, the most moral person I know, stole from the store when you were a kid?â Mike scoffed, unconvinced.Â
âI did. I swear,â Will pleaded.Â
âDid you eat the candy?âÂ
âNo, I took it back the next day because I felt bad,â Will confessed.Â
âOf course you did,â Mike smiled.Â
âWhatâs that supposed to mean?âÂ
âYouâre just way too good of a person to do something like that. Even as a kid. Youâve always been the best of us. Thatâs one of my favourite things about you.âÂ
Will could feel himself beginning to blush.Â
âOkay, you go now. There has to be something that you havenât told me. Something small,â he said quickly.Â
âLet me think,â Mike sighed. He scoured around in his brain for something innocent that he could tell Will. Something that wouldnât reveal too much. âUh, remember when Jonathan was addicted to weed?âÂ
âOf course.âÂ
âWell, one time, when you guys were staying here, I was down here and I found some of his weed. And I took it.âÂ
âDid you smoke it?â Will asked. Â
âI wanted to, but didnât know how to roll it,â Mike said.Â
âOh God,â Will laughed. âSo, what did you do with it?âÂ
âI flushed it.âÂ
âWhy are we both so useless at being bad?â Will giggled.Â
Mike smiled down at Will as he watched him laughing. He couldnât quite comprehend that this was the last time theyâd be hanging out in his basement. He had to get that thought out of his head.Â
âOkay, your turn,â he said.Â
âHmm, what have I never told you?â Will thought aloud. âThere is one thing, but I donât know if I can say it.âÂ
âOh, well now you have to tell me,â Mike said, intrigued.Â
âItâs not really my secret to tell. I mean, it is my secret, but it involves someone else.âÂ
âI wonât tell.âÂ
âPromise?âÂ
âWhen have I ever broken your trust?âÂ
Will smiled and then took a deep breath. âOkay. But you cannot tell anyone.âÂ
âI wonât. I promise.â Mike was practically on the edge of his seat.Â
âYou know how you guys all think Iâve never kissed anyone?â Will began.Â
âYeah, because you havenât,â Mike shook his head.Â
âNo, thatâs the thing. I have.âÂ
Will was still lying nonchalantly on the mattress; eyes trained on the ceiling so he couldnât see Mike completely malfunction.Â
âWhat? Youâre kidding, right?âÂ
âIs it really so hard to believe that someone would want to kiss me?â Will said, annoyed.Â
âNo!â Mike replied a little too enthusiastically. âNo, thatâs not what I meant. Iâm sorry. Itâs just... When? And who?âÂ
âSee, I donât really know if I should say. Heâs not out yet so I donât want to expose him,â Will explained.Â
âWill, Iâm not going to tell anyone. I would never out someone. I just want to make sure my best friend is choosing the right people to kiss.âÂ
âOh you do, do you?â Will chuckled, rolling over so he was now on his stomach, his head resting on his hands as he gazed up at Mike.Â
âYeah, I want to make sure youâre not making any stupid decisions.âÂ
âWell, I donât think youâre going to like who it is then,â Will mumbled, biting his lip.Â
Mikeâs face fell. âWill? Who is it?âÂ
âChance,â Will barely whispered.Â
âWhat?!â Mike shrieked so loud he probably woke up the entire Wheeler house.Â
âShh, Mike.âÂ
âChance?! As in Chance who used to bully us, Chance?âÂ
âYes, but Mike, he was never that bad. He just followed along with whatever Andy wanted to do. He just wanted to fit in,â Will defended. âHeâs actually a really nice guy.âÂ
Mike could feel a newfound rage rising within him. Something heâd only ever felt when he watched guys talking to Will. Deep and overpowering jealousy.Â
âWhen exactly did this kiss happen?â Mike asked, his tone sharp.Â
âAt Staceyâs party. Well, that was the first time,â Will shrugged.Â
âThe first time?! There were other times?!â Mike almost sprung out of his seat.Â
âThat time at the party was the first time heâd ever kissed a guy. After it happened, he wanted to talk to me about, you know, liking guys. We met up a couple of times and things just happened.âÂ
Mike stared at Will with his mouth agape. This was his Will. The Will he thought would only ever be his. Even though heâd never asked him to be.Â
Will didnât feel bad about telling Mike about his relationship with Chance. Mike, Lucas and Dustin had all had girlfriends, so why shouldnât he be allowed a little action too?âÂ
âHe mostly just wanted to understand more about who he is. But we found comfort in each other,â Will added.Â
âSo, what, did you guys date?âÂ
âOnly for about a month. But I ended it. I, uh-,â Will was suddenly flustered. âI didnât feel for him the same way Iâve felt about other people in the past.âÂ
Mike completely missed who Will was really hinting at and instead assumed there had been another guy Will had a crush on.Â
âI hate this game,â he huffed.Â
âOh, come on, Mike. What, are you jealous or something?â Will joked.Â
âYeah, Iâm so jealous you got to kiss your bully,â Mike replied sarcastically.Â
âI wish I hadnât brought this up,â Will sighed.Â
âSo do I.âÂ
Mike slumped down into the plush cushion of the couch, his arms crossed. Will rolled onto his back again and went back to staring at the ceiling.Â
Mike felt anger swell in him again. But it wasnât towards Will or Chance, it was towards himself. He knew he should be happy that Will had got to experience what every teenager wanted to experience. But he couldnât help but be consumed by rage at the thought of someone elseâs hands on Will. Someone elseâs lips on his. It made him feel awful that he couldnât even be happy for his best friend.Â
âIâm sorry,â Mike murmured after a few minutes of silence.Â
âItâs okay,â Will replied bluntly.Â
âDid you like it?â Mike asked quietly.Â
âLike what?âÂ
âKissing him.âÂ
Will really wished they could stop having this conversation. Yes, heâd had a very brief and fleeting relationship with Chance, but it didnât really mean anything. It was nice to finally be able to do things that normal people did in a relationship. Chance had given him his first kiss, his first date (even if that date was taking him on a drive to where no one would see them and making out in his car), and heâd really boosted his self-esteem. But no matter how hard Will tried, he just wasnât as into the relationship as Chance was, and he knew exactly the reason why.Â
âYeah, it was nice kissing him. But, Mike, can we please stop talking about this now. We broke up. Itâs over.âÂ
âOkay, sorry,â Mike apologised again. He didnât want to keep talking about it either but something within him burned to know every little detail about what Will had got up to with Chance. But this was their last night together and he didnât want to spoil it, so instead, he searched his memories for more secrets. âYou want to know something else Iâve never told you.âÂ
Will smiled, happy the subject was changing. âYes, please.âÂ
For the next thirty minutes they exchanged innocent secrets, more things from their childhood that theyâd somehow never told each other. Embarrassing stories and funny memories that made them wheeze with laughter. It was all fun and games until a certain memory popped up in Mikeâs mind.Â
âWhen you were away in California I used to bike to your house and just sit on the porch because I missed you,â Mike confessed shyly.Â
Will let out a shaky breath. âWhen I was in California I used to draw all of you guys so I wouldnât forget your faces.â Will failed to mention that while heâd drawn Dustin, Lucas and Max a couple of times, he had a whole notebook filled with sketches of Mike. âI really missed you when I moved away.âÂ
âI really missed you. Iâm sorry I didnât say it at the time,â Mike replied, his mind suddenly unlocking another memory that heâd tried to suppress. He wasn't sure if he wanted to reveal this one. He knew it would hurt Will. But whether it was the alcohol loosening his tongue, or the fact that Will was leaving in the morning, Mike couldnât keep his mouth shut.Â
âI have something else to tell you, but please donât freak out.âÂ
âUm, okay,â Will said apprehensively.Â
âWhen you were missing I jumped off the quarry,â Mike blurted out.Â
âWait, what?â Will said, feeling like Mike had skipped all the details, because he had.Â
âDustin and I were looking for El and then Troy and James found us and chased us to the quarry. Troy pulled a knife on Dustin and said I had to jump or heâd kill Dustin.âÂ
âWhat the hell? I knew he was a bully, but I didnât realise he was a psycho.âÂ
âYeah, it was pretty bad.âÂ
âWait, but youâre saying you jumped?â Will asked.Â
âYeah, I did. Then El showed up and used her powers to catch me. She scared the shit out of Troy and James,â Mike explained.Â
âYou were willing to jump off a cliff to save Dustin?â Will stared in awe at Mike.Â
âWell, not really. I kind of wanted to jump.âÂ
Will rolled off his back and sat up, his face almost level with Mikeâs. âWhat?âÂ
âI wanted to jump.âÂ
âMike, what are you saying?âÂ
âYou were missing. By that point theyâd found your body, and I know we didnât believe it was you, but...â Mike stared straight into Willâs eyes and saw how hurt he was. âI didnât know if you were ever going to come back, and I didnât want to live without you.âÂ
Will felt tears prick his eyes. All those years ago Mike had been so low and Will didnât even know. He wasnât there to know. It was his fault Mike felt that way.Â
âIâm so sorry,â he mumbled.Â
âWhy are you sorry?âÂ
âIf I hadnât gone missing you wouldnât have...âÂ
âNo, no, donât blame yourself,â Mike said, shaking his head. âPlease donât do that.âÂ
âMike, you wanted to kill yourself. You do realise how serious that is?â Will pleaded.Â
âYeah, I do, because that wasnât the only time I wanted to.âÂ
Willâs jaw dropped. Horror spread across his face. A shiver ran up his spine. He stared dumbfounded at Mike.Â
âI went back to the quarry the day after you left for California. I stood on the edge of the cliff for hours,â Mike whispered.Â
Will still couldnât speak. He fought hard to stop the tears from spilling over his eyes. Never in a million years could he have dreamed Mike would consider doing something like that.Â
âWhy did you never tell me?â he breathed.Â
âBecause when youâre with me I donât think about it. Itâs only when you leave that those thoughts come back to me.âÂ
âAre you going to think about it when I leave tomorrow?âÂ
Mike didnât answer.Â
âMike, promise me you wonât even consider doing that ever again,â Will begged, a tear falling from his eye.Â
Mike sighed. Heâd been thinking about what heâd do when Will left for the last month. He only ever visited the quarry when he was at his lowest. And he was always at his lowest when he wasnât with Will.Â
But the way Willâs eyes were shining with fresh tears, the way he was leaning forward, pleading to Mike, wishing for him to stay alive, gave him enough motivation to keep living.Â
âOkay.âÂ
âPromise me.âÂ
âI promise.âÂ
Will sank back down onto the mattress and wiped away his tears. âJesus, Mike.âÂ
âIâm sorry, that was dark. Tell me something nice,â Mike said, trying to change the subject.Â
âGive me a minute,â Will sniffed, still not quite over what Mike had just revealed to him. He focussed on his breathing, something Jonathan had taught him to do when he started having panic attacks. And the thought of Jonathan unlocked another secret that was a lot less dark than Mikeâs.Â
âOh yeah, hereâs something. A couple of days ago I walked in on Nancy and Jonathan kissing.âÂ
âBut theyâre broken up.âÂ
âNot anymore,â Will smirked. He always loved the idea of having Nancy as his sister-in-law. âIt seems coming back to Hawkins relit the flame.âÂ
âWell, thatâs great. I always liked them together. I hope they last this time,â Mike grinned, but then his smile faded. âI always knew me and El wouldnât last.âÂ
Will stayed silent. Mentioning El around Mike was always risky, and the fact that heâd been the one to bring her up was unusual. Normally he didn't want to talk about her at all. Â
âI mean, even if she hadnât left, or died, or whatever happened to her. I think I knew for those final few months that we were finished.âÂ
âWhy?â Will asked.Â
âI donât know if I ever really loved her. Well, I did love her. Just, maybe not the way a boyfriend should love his girlfriend. I didnât know what love was supposed to feel like. Iâm still not sure if I know,â Mike said, blushing. He wasnât used to talking about his feelings so openly.Â
âSince weâre on the topic of El, I need to tell you something,â Will sighed. Heâd been considering revealing this to Mike ever since they started telling each other secrets. It was partly the reason heâd suggested spilling secrets in the first place. Had he been sober there was no way he would ever reveal this to Mike, but there was still enough alcohol in his system to give him some courage.Â
âGo for it,â Mike said, curious.Â
âYou know the painting El commissioned for you in California?âÂ
âOf course. Itâs my favourite thing youâve ever painted,â Mike smiled.Â
âWell, it wasnât El who commissioned it.â Will had to muster up every last ounce of strength to say what he said next. âIt was me. It was my idea. Everything I said to you that day in the van was me, not El.âÂ
âOh,â Mike said, his brain short-circuiting. That painting already meant so much to him when he thought it was Elâs idea, but finding out it was all Willâs idea completely shattered everything he thought he knew. Â
âI really did mean everything I said that day. And Iâm fine admitting that to you now because, well, weâre just friends now, right?â Â
âYeah, yeah, sure,â Mike nodded. He bit his lip, suddenly overcome with the urge to cry. He knew Will had a crush on him, but he hadn't realised how strong it had been. Willâs honesty had granted him with a newfound spirit of openness. âWait here,â he said, springing to his feet and running up the stairs. Â
Will barely had time to react before Mike was halfway up the stairs. He cursed himself, thinking Mike wanted to get away from him. He thought maybe heâd revealed too much; that him confessing about the painting made their relationship weird again. But after less than a minute Mike ran back down the stairs, carrying something in his hands. He sat back down, this time on the mattress right next to Will, and handed Will what was in his hands.Â
âWhatâs this?â Will asked, observing what heâd been given. It was a bundle of envelopes, all of which were addressed to his house in Lenora.Â
âI wrote you a letter almost every day when you were in California, but I never sent them,â Mike confessed.Â
âWhy not?âÂ
âI donât know,â Mike muttered. Â
Will began removing the elastic band that bound the letters together, but Mikeâs hand grabbed his, stopping him.Â
âDonât open them here,â he said forcefully, his cheeks blazing red. Â
âOkay?â Will shot Mike a confused glance. Â
âOpen them when you get to New York,â Mike said. He could think of nothing worse than watching Will read the letters he never sent. Â
Will examined the outside of the letters. He noted how many there were; one for almost every day he'd been in California. He felt feelings that heâd tried so hard to suppress threatening to resurface. And once again, his drunk self started running his mouth.Â
âWhen I had a crush on you it hurt me so bad,â he began. âBecause I knew you could never feel the same way. But I couldnât help it. Iâm over it now, but you have no idea how much it hurt.âÂ
âIâm sorry,â Mike said. Â
âItâs not your fault,â Will replied, shaking his head. âYou were just existing.âÂ
âStill, I didnât exactly make it easy for you.âÂ
âWhat do you mean?âÂ
âRemember that night we argued in the rain.âÂ
Will nodded shyly. Despite Mikeâs vague description, Will knew exactly the night he was talking about. The night Will just wanted to play D&D and Mike had driven him to destroy Castle Byers. The night Mike had told Will it wasnât his fault he didnât like girls. Â
âI think about what I said that night all the time. I shouldnât have said it,â Mike began.Â
âI mean, you werenât wrong,â Will half smiled. âI donât like girls.âÂ
âThatâs not the point. It had nothing to do with what we were arguing about. I was just being an asshole. I didnât even know that you didnât... you know... like girls. I didnât know for sure until you came out.â Â
That night had played on Mikeâs mind far too often in the years since it occurred. It felt like a weight off his chest to finally apologise for it to his face.Â
âIâm sorry itâs taken me so long to apologise for it. I tried to apologise that night, but you werenât at your house.âÂ
âYou went to my house?â Â
Mike nodded.Â
âIt was hailing. You rode to my house in the middle of a rainstorm just to apologise?â Will asked, his heart rate increasing.Â
âYeah, I felt so awful about it. I didnât even care that it was raining. But you werenât there. And then the next time I saw you I froze up and just couldnât do it.âÂ
The look in Willâs eyes made Mike feel like melting. Â
âBut I never should have said it in the first place. If Iâd known what you were going through I never wouldâve said it,â Mike said. His knee fell towards Willâs and Will didnât flinch. He was too focussed on his hands. He fidgeted, not looking Mike in the eye.Â
âYou know, coming out is one of the hardest things Iâve ever done,â he said, his tone serious. âWhich is funny considering all the crazy shit weâve been through. But Iâm so glad I did.â Will smiled again. âI know only a few people know but being able to be free when I'm with you guys is the best feeling in the world.âÂ
âI wish I was as brave as you,â Mike mumbled, pulling his knee back towards himself and shifting away from Will on the mattress. Â
âWhat do you mean?â Will asked, noticing Mike move away from him. âYou helped kill the Mind Flayer. You helped take down Henry. That's pretty damn brave if you ask me.âÂ
âNo, I mean, I wish I could... I wish I could be open like you,â Mike stuttered. A flustered sweat broke on his forehead.Â
âMike, weâve just spent this entire night telling each other secrets. How much more open can you be?â Will chuckled.Â
âThereâs one thing I havenât told you. I havenât told anyone.âÂ
Mike felt sick. Heâd dug himself into this hole and now he knew he couldnât get out unless he told Will the truth. But telling Will the truth felt impossible. He stared blankly in front of him, focussing on his D&D folder that was sitting on the shelf.Â
Will looked at Mike expectantly, waiting for him to continue. Heâd never seen Mike look so scared before, not even when they were fighting monsters.Â
âWhat is it, Mike?â he asked, urging for an answer. He tried to get Mike to look him in the eyes, but he wouldnât. Then, without thinking, he placed his hand on top of Mikeâs. âMike, whatever it is you can tell me.âÂ
Mikeâs eyes immediately shot towards his hand. He looked at Willâs resting on top of his and suddenly felt like he was going to have a panic attack. But he knew there was no turning back now. No matter how hard he tried to ignore the feelings he had, he finally knew that he couldnât supress them any longer. Â
âWhen you came out, and you said you had a crush on me, I didnât really know how I felt about it. But then when you said you didnât have a crush on me anymore, I felt... donât know,â Mike tried to explain.Â
âWhat are you saying, Mike?â Will asked, unsure where Mike was going with this.Â
âI guess what Iâm trying to say is, I liked it better when you had a crush on me.âÂ
Will looked at Mike through furrowed brows. His brain wouldnât allow him to understand what Mike was saying. Â
âMike, I donât...â he trailed off.Â
âFinal secret?â Mike said, finally turning to face Will. When their eyes met Will noticed that Mikeâs were glistening with tears.Â
Mike took a deep breath. He felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest. He was practically shaking. But with all the courage he had, he forced himself to tell Will his deepest secret.Â
âI like you, Will,â he said, so quietly Will could barely hear it. Â
Will stared at Mike blankly, his mouth hanging open. He thought he knew what Mike, meant, but surely not. Surely Mike couldnât mean that. That was impossible.Â
âOf course you like me. Weâre best friends,â Will said innocently.Â
âNo, I... I like you. Not the way I like Dustin and Lucas and not the way I liked El either.âÂ
Everything in Mikeâs body was telling him to run up the stairs, out of the house, and never return. Every nerve was firing. Every limb was trembling.Â
âThe way I feel about you, well, Iâve never felt that way about anyone else before. And it scares the shit out of me.âÂ
Will couldnât move. Everything Mike was saying was exactly what heâd yearned for him to say for years. He wasnât even sure it was real. He thought maybe heâd got so drunk he passed out and he was dreaming.Â
Will wasnât answering and Mike wanted the earth to swallow him up. He gazed at Will, pleading for a response, but Will was frozen. He suddenly wished heâd said nothing at all.Â
âI mean, it doesnât matter anyway. Youâre over me. Thatâs why I never told you. You know what, just forget I said anything, okay?â Mike rambled, desperate to be done with this conversation. Â
âI was never over you,â Will breathed, his body sighing in relief. âI told myself that I was but that didnât make it true. You were never just a crush to me, Mike. You mean everything to me.âÂ
Now it was Mikeâs turn to freeze. He couldnât believe what he was hearing. Ever since Will had come out, Mike had been toying with the idea of having feelings for Will. Heâd tried to push them down, thinking that nothing would ever happen between them anyway. But now that he knew Will still liked him, he realised how much time heâd wasted.Â
âYou still like me?â Mike asked.Â
âI... I love you, Mike,â Will said, tears welling in his eyes once more.Â
âI think I love you too, Will,â Mike echoed. And now that heâd said it, he was sure it was true.Â
A smile spread across Willâs face as tears trickled down his cheeks. He placed his hand back on top of Mikeâs and Mike clasped his fingers within Willâs.Â
âCan I kiss you?â Mike asked timidly.Â
Will nodded his head, trying his best not to appear too enthusiastic. Heâd dreamed about this moment since he was eleven years old. Heâd yearned for the feel of Mikeâs lips against his for as long as he could remember. Only he never thought his fantasy could come true.Â
Mike leaned in apprehensively. Heâd kissed El plenty of times, but heâd never been this nervous before. He looked at Willâs lips, the lips heâd been subconsciously glancing at for years. He kept one hand clasped in Willâs and slid the other around the back of Willâs neck. Â
Will expelled a shaky breath at the feel of Mikeâs cold hand on his skin. Mikeâs hand pulled him forward. Will shut his eyes, still not entirely convinced he wasnât dreaming. But when his lips touched Mikeâs he was finally convinced this was real, because this was nothing like he'd ever dreamed. His imagination had come nowhere near to matching the feeling of Mikeâs kiss. Â
It was hesitant at first. Both sets of lips barely touching each other, too scared to go any further. But then Mike let out a sigh and pressed his lips harder against Willâs. Once they finally committed there was no stopping them. Will ran his free hand up Mikeâs back, urging him to move closer. Mike shifted his hand from Willâs neck to his cheek and cupped it gently.Â
A quiet hum escaped from Willâs throat that drove Mike crazy. He teased his tongue against Willâs lips, begging for entry, and Will obliged. He parted his lips and let his tongue collide with Mikeâs. He let go of Mikeâs hand so he could tangle both of his in Mikeâs hair. Mike moaned quietly in response. With the hand that Will had just let go of Mike gripped Willâs waist, using his fingers to fidget with the hem of Willâs shirt. Â
Will felt euphoric. Everything heâd ever wanted in his life was happening. He was going to his dream college to study his greatest passion. He was free from all the monsters (supernatural and otherwise) in his life, and now he had the one boy heâd been in love with his whole life. He smiled against Mikeâs lips as their tongues danced around each otherâs mouths. Â
Mike felt Willâs lips curl up into a smile and was overcome with an urge to sob. He knew heâd wanted Will for a while now, but Will had wanted Mike his whole life. He cursed himself that he hadnât realised sooner. And then he cursed himself again when he realised just how late he was.Â
Mike pulled away from Will, resting his forehead against his. The only sound in the basement was their breathing as it slowed down. After a minute Mike addressed the one thing he really didnât want to.Â
âYouâre leaving tomorrow,â he whispered.Â
âYeah,â Will replied, his smile fading to a frown.Â
âIâm sorry, I shouldnât have done this when itâs too late.âÂ
Will dropped his hands from Mikeâs hair to his shoulders and moved him away from him.Â
âMike, you could never be too late. You have no idea how glad I am that you told me how you feel.âÂ
âYeah, but it doesnât matter. Youâre leaving and Iâm staying.âÂ
âYou donât have to stay,â Will said, a nervous tone to his voice.Â
âYeah, but I-âÂ
âCome with me.âÂ
âWhat?âÂ
âCome with me to New York,â Will proposed. Â
Mike slumped his shoulders and sighed. âWhat would even I do in New York?âÂ
âSo many things,â Will smiled, finding Mikeâs lack of self-belief almost amusing. âIâm pretty sure they do writing workshops at my art school. And even if thatâs not what you decide to do, you just need to get out of Hawkins. You need to do something.âÂ
Mike considered what Will was saying. Despite everything in his being wanting to get out of Hawkins, there was a teeny-tiny part of him that felt he didnât belong anywhere else. That he didnât deserve to belong anywhere else.Â
âI wouldnât have anywhere to stay,â he said. Â
âWell, Iâm not saying you have to leave tomorrow,â Will explained. âFind an apartment and move when youâre ready.âÂ
"I donât know, Will,â Mike said. âI said I would stay here.âÂ
âMike, you canât stay in Hawkins for the rest of your life. New York has so many opportunities. I think youâd really like it there. Plus, Iâll be there,â Will blushed.Â
âYeah, well, that would be a bonus,â Mike said shyly.Â
They both giggled nervously, their thighs resting against each other as they ached to be close again.Â
âSo, what do you say?â Will asked. âYou coming?âÂ
âYeah,â Mike beamed.Â
Will placed his hands on either side of Mikeâs face and pulled him in for another kiss. He didn't ever want to stop kissing him. And now that Mike was coming to New York, maybe he wouldnât have to.Â
âI mean, obviously Iâm going to have to run everything by my parents,â Mike said, pulling away. Â
âMhm,â Will said, not in the mood to talk anymore. He pulled Mike back in by the collar of his shirt. They kissed for a few more seconds before Mike spoke again.Â
âAnd itâll probably take me a few months to find a place to stay,â he rambled.Â
âMike, please stop talking and kiss me,â Will pleaded, his fingers still grasping Mikeâs shirt.Â
Mike obeyed, closing the gap between their mouths once more. Mike allowed himself to fall into the tranquillity of kissing Will. He still had a lot to think about, and a lot to organise, but he didnât need to focus on that right now.Â
Hands slipped under the hems of their shirts. Mouths moved from lips to jaws to necks. By the time they parted again they were high from each other.Â
âYou should go to sleep,â Mike panted, catching his breath. âYou have a big day tomorrow.âÂ
âI donât want to,â Will said. He didnât want this night to end. He was happy now that he knew Mike would be coming to New York with him, but heâd still have to spend a few months without him. Â
âCome on, I donât want your mom getting mad because youâre too tired in the morning,â Mike said. Â
He shimmied down on the mattress so he was lying on it. Will reluctantly lay down beside Mike. But when Mike wrapped his arm around Will he thought maybe sleeping wouldn't be so bad.Â
âIs this okay?â Mike asked, uncertainly draping his arm over Will. Â
âMhm,â Will hummed. All the tiredness of the day hit him as soon as Mike wrapped him up in his arms. The alcohol had worn off, leaving him groggy and drowsy.Â
âGood night, Will,â Mike whispered, placing a kiss in Willâs hair.Â
âNight, Mike,â Will yawned, already half asleep.Â
When he woke up heâd be leaving Hawkins behind him, but at least now he wasnât leaving Mike behind too.
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