Bheem stared blankly at the sheet of paper in front of him. He didn't know why but Jenny (and surprisingly Malli, when did she learn?) had head on confronted him about properly learning to write English (Anna was teaching him that already!) And now they had given him an assignment to write a letter!
But to who should he write? What should it be about? Should it be something he should send to that person later on? Or was it just for fun? He had so many questions, none of which were answered by his two teachers.
Unbeknownst to him though, Malli and Jenny thought that he would write a love letter confessing his love for Ram, or at least, if not acknowledge the love, mention something about their bond...
Contrary to their belief though, all Bheem could flow out was guilt laced words. His guilt about the secrets. His guilt about the harsh words. His guilt about hurting Ram. His guilt of how he was responsible for the torture Ram had to endure. Pages purely reeking of guilt, intended to be hidden away from the eye of the world, written in his broken English. Especially not for the eyes of Ram, who he knew wouldn't agree with his view. Who would start blaming himself for everything that happened. For all he knew, his letter was going to become one with the dust, never reaching the eyes of anyone.
Ram knew that he wasn't supposed to be there. He also knew that he had been actively avoiding Bheem for quite a while, which also made the latter a lot mad at him and the only reason he was even here was because of Malli and Jenny's insistence that he should personally deliver the books he'd found during his investigations.
He glanced down at the books written in the native language and sighed. In all honesty, they were the most interesting puzzles he's ever decoded in a while and he'll be sad to part with it. Maybe he can ask Bheem for some more because, in all honesty, the books were rich with information that he is left wanting for more.
He walked over to Bheem's desk and gently placed the books near the sheet of parchment sitting beside an ink bottle and turned to leave when his name caught his eye.
He turned back around and took the parchment in his hand, a moment of surprise coursing through him as he read through the broken English of the letter that it was actually Bheem who had written it.
The more he read through, the more the elation of the fact that his Bheem had learnt to write English starter to decrease and in its space, something heavy started to settle in.
He quickly wiped the corner of his eye and tried to take in a controlled breath but all that seemed to do was to hitch his breath even more as he carefully placed the letter back in its place. He just couldn't believe what he'd read.
His hands were itching to take the feather that was sticking out of the pot and cross out, hell, even destroy the letter if he could but felt shamed as soon as he thought about it because he did the same thing in his journals. He could remember the pages and pages of writing he'd done right after Bheem had rescued him, when he'd arrested Bheem, all those instances of all the things he'd done to all his fellow countrymen just to fulfil the promise of a dead man, even if he was his father.
He could understand the guilt, the overwhelming deep pit in his gut that never seemed to stop growing, the persistent nightmares that he deserved... The burning self hate that consumed the soul... He could understand everything.
Except for the fact that it was Bheem who was feeling all this. Especially the fact that all this was felt for him. Because Bheem had beaten him up. Because he didn't come to save him before. Because he'd abandoned Ram.
All while Ram had accepted it as his penance for betraying his Jaan. It was his punishment for all those years of hurt he'd caused to his own people. It was the consequence of not keeping his word to his Abba. He was a sinner and he deserved that.
Sparing one last glance at the letter, he started walking away. Maybe it was time he actually talked to Bheem about all this. Without letting him know that he'd read the letter. Maybe.
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... Bhaiya, I know that you won't ever read this letter but I really hope that you would forgive your thambudu for all the pain and sorrow and betrayal he has caused you in this very short time of meeting.
There are days where I wish that I was dead... Days which are spent just thinking about the nice times we had before the snake had bit you... There are small instances when I dream of you, and... I don't think you'll like to know what I dream of, Anna.
And now... You are ignoring me, like I rightly deserve and maybe, maybe this distance will keep you away from harm's way, even if it takes you away from me. It is the price for the sinner I am.
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Part 3 will be up whenever I can put it up! Tagging @rambheem-is-real cuz you asked me to ;) and @bromance-minus-the-b and @eremin0109 and @miriseven *scratches my head for a moment* Umm... my brain short-circuited so I am gonna stop tagging
