"As an ice dancer, and especially as a queer person growing up that didn't know she was queer, seeing different stories represented and different partnering, different types of identities on the ice, would have been very liberating to me."
Kaitlyn Weaver, reacting to the excellent Skate Canada policy that ice dancers or pairs team can now be composed of any two athletes. That’s just wonderful news!
If you have an opportunity to take your kid to a Pride Event which is open to children and teens...
TAKE YOUR KID!
...I'm serious, if you can, take your kid to a Pride event regardless of their age, gender, your orientation, their orientation, your identity, their identity, or - and this is important - your comfort or familiarity with the LGBTQ2+ community, or whether or not it will be within your comfort zone....
Go together and stand up together and celebrate together.
BUT...
Be respectful and do your research: not every event is open to all and it is important that those boundaries be respected.
***This is important because these boundaries are often there to protect the safety / comfort of the organizers and intended participants. (i.e. not because the event may or may not be appropriate/harm you or your child).***
🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
For those who are unsure or afraid...let me share my story...
Before the pandemic, the town we moved to when my kid was 4, hosted a Pride Parade in September (fingers crossed there will be one this year).
Each year my kid's school LGTBQ2+ group would march in it and send out an invitation to everyone to join them ...so of course we took my kid (who was 5 I think the first time and 6 the second time?).
Before we arrived the first year, while it was not the first time we had talked about LGBTQ2+ or gender or bodies or sex related stuff... I explained to my kid why Pride is important and why we were marching in the parade...and that we would probably see all sorts of people dancing, holding hands, hugging and kissing and some people who were happy and some people who were serious (and why Pride is both)... and that there might be protestors but I would keep us safe... and that we might see naked people, or people dressed up in leather or feathers or skimpy underwear or fancy clothing... or...or..
...and then for some reason I said "or in a penis costume"...
My kid: Why would someone dress up like a penis?
Me: Well...maybe to say that there is nothing wrong or dirty or ugly about bodies or maybe they are a man and it's a way to say there is nothing weird about marrying or loving other men? What do you think...? (...is what I think I kinda said???)
...and that if my kid had any questions about anything or felt uncomfortable or thought anything was cool or interesting I was there and to please let me know.
I promised that I would try my best to explain or help find someone who could answer better than me or research if I didn't know how to explain.
My kid rolled their eyes and pulled me closer to a group of people cheerfully dancing in their underwear because it was a song they liked.
So we listened to the speeches and marched with the school group and I spoke to some of the older kids who were so excited to be there and a dad who was obviously uncomfortable but was there for his kid... and we waved at people who came to watch and waved our flags... and we went to the community fair at the end of the parade route... and questions were asked and I think listened and I provided good plain answers... and I made sure she spoke and was polite to the vendors when she bought things or picked up pamphlets... and we continued our kid-driven conversations about consent and kindness and racism and body discrimination and sexism and that our brains will try to trick us into being afraid or mean when something is new or different... and when it was all said and done (both years) my child learned some important things and had a great experience...
...BUT was bitterly disapointed that no one was dressed up in a penis costume 🙄
🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈
So all that is to say - if you are a parent or guardian take your kid to Pride...
But I am not part of the community?
But my kid is too young to see that stuff!?
But what if I don't know what to say?
Look, if you love your kid and want the best world for them you should stand up for the things Pride celebrates and commemorates and is trying to improve.....no ifs, ands, or buts...
If you are human you owe other humans care and respect and equal rights and opportunities...
Your kid has a body and feelings and that body and those feelings deserve to be respected and it will help them if they have language for these things and know they can talk to you about stuff...
...seeing a naked person or cross-dressing person or scantily dressed person who is doing nothing more than trying to make the world a better place for themselves and others will not hurt you or your child... I promise.
In fact, I bet it will help them understand that...
Bodies are bodies.
Consent is important.
Sex is a normal part of life.
Humans come in all sorts of packages.
Kindness and love and respect are for everyone...including your kid.
And I promise you, your child will be safer and stronger if they know they can talk to you about these things than if they are afraid to.
...and wouldn't you rather practice answering those questions when they are younger... having a conversation that stretches over many years and moments and evolves naturally with their experiences... instead of having one awkward intense conversation that just happens once... maybe too late?
...and you're right... you won't always know what to say... but that is true no matter where you are... and, in my experience, open Pride Events are great because there are lots and lots of people who want you to hear them and see them and try to understand their perspective and ask questions...
So... do not be afraid to go to a Pride Event that welcomes children and teens along with everyone else.
You might not get it perfect but I promise you - if you can go to a similar non-pride event (a party, a protest, a parade, a festival) you can do this.
Teach them by example that they (and you) need to be kind and brave and learn to not judge people because they are different (even when our brains try to trick us).
Teach them to research things they (or you) don't have experience with and that questions can be asked and you will help them find an answer.
Teach them that it takes time and effort and showing up to learn to respect and stand up for not only others...but yourself too.
Just maybe don't promise your kid that they might get to see someone dressed like a PENIS...
Designed with masks in mind to help folks know and remember your pronouns! If your pronouns are not available in my shop, please reach out! I'm @sheregenerated or @sheregenerated13 here :)
Government of Canada is doing a survey for the LGBTQ2 community, for anyone interested! If not please consider reblogging so that this may reach other LGBTQ2 Canandians.
So I had this conversation with my friend, @0trans-abled0 a while ago about Transphobia in the classroom.
Essentially in his class there were several students being blatantly transphobic throughout the entire class. He didn't speak up, not wanting to waste the effort and become a target, you know? But the teachers didn't stop it either, which is why this makes me so mad.
However, at the end of his class one of the teachers present decided to come up to him and stated she was "Dissapointed he didn't contribute to the discussion." He got mad, and heres why.
It shouldn't be up to the LGBTQ+ kids to resolve the conflicts of transphobic kids. Teachers should not be leaving that dangerous conversation up to already discriminated kids. It's not fair or safe for them. They are not buffers or conflict resolutionist. They are kids, they just want to have a normal day without defending their right to be themselves.
The teacher in that situation should have stopped the discussion as soon as it started. Things like that's should not be discussed in the classroom, for the safety of LGBTQ+ kids in the class. It's dangerous, especially if you Out them in the class just so they can explain why they deserve the right to live.
If you're a teacher and you hear blatant Transphobic remarks and make the minority group of kids in the class try to resolve it then you are no better than the people who started it.
I don't care if you're not "enlightened" enough to contribute. If the first step in your mind is not to STOP the situation from snowballing into an even bigger even more transphobic argument then You Are A Bad Teacher.
Kids just want to have a good normal day, it's not their job to stop these types of "discussions". Get better and don't let these things happen in the classroom, it should be a safe environment.
