#life considerations

[chiaraislost]

Life is too fucking short and expensive for all the things I want to study

I swear that if I ever win big at the lottery I would spend it travelling and pursuing degree after degree. I fucking love leaning (hate exams but that's another story)

[bomberqueen17]

I was visiting my BFF’s house yesterday night and today, and so I was in her guest room when I woke up at 2am and since I was using my phone as a flashlight, looked at the election results.

I’m going to talk about things other than the election, though.

Their children (I am actually friends with both members of the couple, and introduced them; she’s been my pal since high school, and he was a close friend in college, and I thought they’d get along and I was right) are old enough now to remember me from visit to visit-- well, they really always have been, I come through often enough. The littler one turned 2 in August, so she can speak intelligibly now-- it takes me a few tries to understand her, but I can, and that’s quite pleasant. She is enchanted by me, usually because her brother is so emotionally fragile and demands so much of their mother’s attention, and I usually notice and pay attention to her instead. Sometimes I do the opposite, when she’s decided to assert her claim to her mother and I sit with the boy instead. 

Anyway, both of them were adorable and delighted by me, and it’s just really nice to get that kind of attention, even if it’s kind of tiring sometimes. Of late, Farm Baby has been less enchanted by me, and more into Middle-Little [Aunt], who she sees perhaps less often but more regularly, if that makes sense? I haven’t been getting the Big Greeting and have instead been getting a bit of the cold shoulder, and I know one shouldn’t take that sort of thing super personally but it doesn’t help when one feels fragile.

So it was nice to have babies love me. 

And my BFF, on the election results, pointed out that as a wealthy white stay-at-home mother, she was unlikely to be in any real danger from any upcoming political bullshit. But she does have a daughter, and she really would like her to have a choice, as she herself did, in whether to have a career or be a babymachine; her own choice to have children was a very long-deliberated one, and involved a lot of complications. That choice was extremely important. It upset her deeply to consider her daughter not having it. 

(”Does mine count as an abortion if the fetus was dead?” she asked me, and I said, “isn’t that a spontaneous abortion?” and she said “oh no, only if your body rejects it, mine didn’t and without intervention I probably would have gone sceptic and died.” We stared glumly at one another. “That’s what they want to ban,” I pointed out, and she put her head down on the table and moaned a little. “My daughter wouldn’t exist,” she said. “Fuck, I’d be dead.”) 

[slice-of-life0-blog]

Things done: are they lost?

Why do you usually think that all that we did is lost? Not always we're right. We need to take in consideration all the aspects that concern with every our action. There are two sides: the a side and the b side. The first provides only positive feelings: happiness, carefree, friendliness, love.. The second provides negative feelings: sadness, loneliness, closure towards others, lack of confidence.. Good feelings VS Bad feelings. It is a war. The fact is that we must take in consideration that we need all kind of feelings. If we have only good feelings how can we appreciate them? We usually prefer don't feel any feeling rather than feel bad feelings. It is a joke. How can we live like this? We need to feel something, apathy isn't the answer. The apathy provides us no feeling and so no bad moods, but we don't feel love, passion, joy, happiness. It's difficult to accept, but this is the game and so we'll play it.

S.

[slice-of-life0-blog]

In this frenetic society we do not grant you more time to think about what really goes for ourselves, we all come upon us, without even realizing it, we go through situations without actually experiencing them. We are taxpayers. Most of us do not even know what we want, who we are, why we do what we do and what is our destiny.

s.