everything is subjective but i so rarely find that “Oh.” or “Oh. Oh.” have any practical storytelling use. they have only ever served to break the rhythm of the story. i’m pulled away from my position as observer of experiences, sensations, actions, relegated to the barest inner dialogue alone to piece together the initial reaction. Oh tells me nothing. Seconds pass and I don’t get to watch them play out. Offensively, I have been barred from the story to which I thought I was invited. I have never seen this used with any sense of intentionality. I’m sure it could be. Instead, it often reads like the writer didn’t even think of doing it any other way. It reads lazy.
This scene from Matilda is a nice example of describing someone being taken by surprise.
Miss Honey has a series of escalating “oh” moments during this interaction on the first day of class, and her escalating excitement is touched on in a few ways. We feel the nervous and excited tension along with the children while she polishes her glasses, as we don’t get insight into what she’s thinking in that moment. The way she is talking is as though her thoughts are racing. Shortly after there’s a description of her physical feeling, and mention of her thoughts (described with words like “flitting!”). we don’t get any of her inner dialogue directly. then is a rather fast-paced and dialogue heavy interaction; the action here is to support the building pace of the scene. Then the limerick, where for a few moments we are pulled entirely away from observing the world as we process the poem. The tension of the scene has reached its peak. We are drawn into Matilda’s POV as we wait nervously for Miss Honey’s reaction… and it is beautiful. Both her reaction and the paragraph itself read like a flowing unfurling in the sunlight, a slow, warm, radiant stretch that releases the tension of the preceding moments. It is a moment of deep connection and touching kindness to anchor the scene; Matilda has made Miss Honey smile a genuine smile. Miss Honey sees in Matilda a child of not only magnificent intellect but startling sensitivity and gentleness.
Miss Honey stared at her. Then she picked up a pencil and quickly worked out the sum on a piece of paper. "What did you say it was?" she said, looking up.
"Two hundred and sixty-six,' Matilda said.
Miss Honey put down her pencil and removed her spectacles and began to polish the lenses with a piece of tissue. The class remained quiet, watching her and waiting for what was coming next. Matilda was still standing up beside her desk. […]
Miss Honey was feeling quite quivery. There was no doubt in her mind that she had met a truly extraordinary mathematical brain, and words like child-genius and prodigy went flitting through her head. She knew that these sorts of wonders do pop up in the world from time to time, but only once or twice in a hundred years. […]
'I know,' Matilda said. “I've tried quite a few times but mine are never any good.'
‘You have, have you?" Miss Honey said, more startled than ever. “Well, Matilda, I would very much like to hear one of these limericks you say you have written. Could you try to remember one for us?'
‘Well,' Matilda said, hesitating, ‘I’ve atually been trying to make up one about you, Miss Honey, while we've been sitting here.'
‘About me!' Miss Honey cried. Well, we've certainly got to hear that one, haven't we?'
‘I don't think I want to say it, Miss Honey.'
'Please tell it,' Miss Honey said. I promise I won't mind.'
‘I think you will, Miss Honey, because I have to use your first name to make things rhyme and that's why I don't want to say it.'
‘How do you know my first name?' Miss Honey asked.
‘I heard another teacher calling you by it just before we came in,' Matilda said. 'She called you Jenny.'
‘I insist upon hearing this limerick,' Miss Honey said, smiling one of her rare smiles. 'Stand up and recite it.’
Reluctantly Matilda stood up and very slowly, very nervously, she recited her limerick:
'The thing we all ask about Jenny Is, "Surely there cannot be many Young girls in the place With so lovely a face?" The answer to that is, "Not any!"’
The whole of Miss Honey's pale and pleasant face blushed a brilliant scarlet. Then once again she smiled. It was a much broader one this time, a smile of pure pleasure.