i'm very curious about your not-beach-episode thoughts about the late work night comic, if you wanted to share :3c (no pressure! thanks for reblogging my art <3)
The infernal sound of a keyboard made Ray feel sick to his stomach, but at the same time, it was the only thing that kept him awake as his shoulders began to shrink and his eyes began to droop. No voice, no hum, and no company could be found in his office at any hour, much less past the strike of 3A.M.
Just the tap, tap, tapping of his keys.
His Savior told him that he didn't deserve more than what he was given, and he was in no position to argue with her. Why would he? The truth of the matter was simple: His gratitude could never waver because on the outside, the only company that awaited him was the grass, worms, and dirt that would one day surround his body. So long as he was here, he'd be given the right to stay alive another day.
His ability to see the sun, watch the clouds, and admire the flowers was limited tenfold for the small price of his mortality. But... his Savior could never be considered monstrous for such a deal. Ray wasn't supposed to be alive to begin with. The smallest luxury... it was given to him because she pitied him enough to throw him a bone.
A bone was better than an early grave.
That bone meant that every so often, he would have the right to visit the garden and admire his only friends. That made the suffering less painful... but was it worth it? His exhausted body lamented the truth, but his mind knew better. He knew his place, and it was beneath her heel, where the only good he knew existed because she allowed him just enough freedom to remember why he agreed to stay.
The Savior hadn't abandoned him. She certainly could've done that, and since she hadn't, he had to be grateful, even if his body hated the hard work required of him. It wasn't as bad as it could be, he reasoned, because the alternative was death. He was afraid of death... but he was just as afraid of being alone.
Abandoned.
This suffocating room was abandoned, too. It was only remembered when the Savior needed to cleanse him, or when she had something new for him to do to ensure the success of paradise. The only thing in his office that hadn't been chosen by him was the clock. Tick, tick, and ticking away... Another hour of his isolation had gone in an instant, but since he never bothered to check the time, it wasn't a big deal. Hours of his life blurred together until he forgot the time, date, and year. It made isolation easier in a way, but not tonight.
Tonight felt too... raw.
His stomach curdled, his fingers trembled, and his teeth sank into his lower lip. He didn't know why. All he knew was that he wanted it to go away. He wanted that feeling to leave him alone so he could focus on the task at hand and make it through another day. Just one day, Ray told himself, and then he would be closer to the opportunity that he'd been dreaming of.
The chance to meet you so that he would have a real friend, a partner to help him carry out his long mission, who would never abandon him the way everyone else had.
He didn't want to be alone.
He didn't want to be alone!
It wasn't the time for you to meet him yet. He couldn't destroy the work he'd done so far just to ease his aching heart. He had to wait, he had to behave, and he had to work until his fingers bled to show the Savior just how much revenge mattered to him. He wanted it, he needed it, and he refused to ruin everything by breaking down in the middle of the night. It was the only time he could figure out where his code had gone wrong and how to fix it because that liar would adapt in real life.
His fingers trembled, and the screen flashed as he found that he could no longer type the words he needed.
What could he do...?
He needed something to stifle the suffocating loneliness inside his chest long enough to make it to the next day. Something to numb the pain that wouldn't leave him wretching over the toilet the same way the elixir did on a bad day. He blinked a few times, struggling to formulate a thought beyond the ever-encroaching dread, and pushed away from his desk to feel something.
He had a friend in Mint Eye.
Only one.
Surely his Savior wouldn't punish him for wanting to be with them for a few minutes. So, he set out of his office and towards the garden where the flowers shimmied and swayed in the wind. The breeze tickled him in a gentle ruffle as if to say, "Hello, how are you?" Ray resisted the urge to sit down on the sidewalk and enjoy the moonlight, but looked for a vase with bright colored bulbs that reminded him of gold.
The same one he'd been watering for the last couple of weeks.
Glancing around to make sure nobody had noticed him, he carefully scooped up the vase and brought it to his chest, mumbling, "The sun's not out, so you won't mind."
The flower wouldn't know any better. It was its bedtime, after all. It had no reason to be awake under the cover of darkness. It would be safer in his room tonight, anyway. He remembered there was likely to be a loud thunderstorm rolling into the mountains that morning, and his precious friend... well, it didn't deserve to be drowned. The sun wouldn't be back for a while...
They would be safer with him.
Not abandoned.
Not alone.
Not lonely.
His grip tightened around the vase until his joints began to ache, and by the time he reached his office again, his knuckles shuddered. All of his prolonged working hours had done a number on his muscles, but there was nothing he could do about that. Just as there was nothing that he could do but the infernal clicking of his keys that reminded him of how lonely he truly was. But not tonight.
No, not now.
He placed the flowers on top of his desk and admired their marvelous color, a smile creeping across his face. If only he could preserve them and ensure they would never leave his side... then the sun wouldn't get in his way. He would always have a friend with him.
"There," his body screamed at him to take a longer break as the once windswept flowers stayed motionless as his hands returned to their place. They couldn't talk to him, but they would be there for him the way he wanted you to be. No thoughts, no worries, and no reason to escape because he was all they would ever need. No more clicking, no more ticking, and no more ringing in his ears.
Just a friend who would never stray.
"It's nice to have some company."
That comfort stayed with him until his exhaustion won, leaving him clutching at his flowers as if they were the only lifeline he would ever know.
