#longpostislong

[reapette]

#just a dad & his two sons.

[heyitsgraceagain]

Howdy #instafrenz! I realized I never posted my #MegaMiniMonsterMash #gallery pieces here so here you go! #sunandmoon You can get a better look at the full pieces on my website (heyitsgrace.com). And since #November will be another crazy busy month I won’t be able to do a #dailydrawing theme. But I hope you’ll still stay with me as I post #art and #doodles as often as I can. Lastly... #DesignerCon2017 is less than 2 weeks awayyyy!!! Come find me and my lovely booth buddy @_dianaroberts at booth 925! (PS I totally forgot that #Instagram still crops multiple image posts into squares. Too lazy to reformat. 😭) . . . #longpostislong #sorryfortherambling #artistsofinstagram #graceleart #shamelesspromo #butitskindathepoint

[mrsdonut]

Soooo I have been single for one whole year this weekend! What a year it has been. Yes I got my heart broken but I actually ended up being the happiest I've ever been. I qualified and got my first job as a midwife. I got my nose pierced and had 6 tattoos with more planned, something I could never have done before. I went to my first ever music festival, I went to Chicago and Florida which included a day in Magic Kingdom and Copenhagen by myself, I have lots more travelling planned in the future. I became closer friends with friends I already had, some of which I know definitely wouldn't have happened if the breakup hadn't happened. I've made lots of new friends. I've dated some lovely guys who have shown me that not all guys are scumbags 😂 one of which I'd now count as a close friend (even if he is a dickhead and calls me moany Lisa). I've been to more gigs than I can shake a stick at and basically just had the most fun ever! Thankyou to everyone who has been there for me, I love you all 😘😘❤❤ Sorry for the long post, kudos if you read it all xxxxx #lifechanges #tattoo #goodcharlottetattoo #longpostislong #happyhappyhappy

[sewingkagz-blog]

First week of Cheeto

Like okay

If Tumblr was easier to access on my phone or on Kyle computer, I’d be posting a lot more but due to being unable to remember my password and unable to CHANGE it because the email I put this account under apparently no longer exists, really limits my usability on Tumblr.

That being said, Twitter has been awesome for following the shit thats been happening, but it also fuels my rage and insanity

Do I want to be informed or do I want to be angry all the time? I think there is only one answer and that is to be both.

This will never be normal, we won’t allow this to be the new normal.  We love our neighbors and our differences, this is the America that I know.

South Georgia is not the place to know diversity.  We have a very small Asian community and an even smaller ‘anything else’ community.  PLENTY of people are racist bigots.  I’m almost afraid to put my thoughts out there in public, to walk around with a RESIST tee shirt or pussy hat.  I’m afraid to post to facebook. 

There’s not a lot we can do down here. There are no protests. There’s nowhere to go to protests thats less than going to Atlanta (5 hours+).  We can donate, call and write.  But we really want to get out there and get our voices heard. 

We’re planning on going to the March for Science in Atlanta if they have a branch protest. But the dates aren’t set yet, will we even last that long?

I’ve made a few charity tees on my redbubble, supporting NPS and ACLU since I can’t donate much myself. 100% proceeds from those tees gets donated.  I might make a science one and have those funds fund us to get to the march.

I think our hopes are ACLU and protests.  Twitter is awesome for finding protests happening in the now, even if we can’t attend any of them...  If you are protesting, protest a little extra for us who can’t go.

Twitter is @_kagz_ 

two weeks ago it was cute critter fan art and D&D

Now its some cute critter fan art, D&D an the mass posting of current protests, information and insanity.

[lilacookiee]

Hello again

It’s probably my first proper post of the year, other than just reblogging the feels.

I just moved to another country, which is in Melbourne Australia. I’m leaving my home, friends, family and boyfriend back in Malaysia. It’s cold and a new experience but I know I’ll make the most of it. What’s hardest isn’t adapting to a new life here, its about longing for the people you love that makes it hard.

Over the years I’ve been unstable, dependent, overly emotional , a wreck, a controlling and a doubtful jealous girlfriend. I did things for myself and got mad when I wanted to, sad whenever and just being a burden without caring what harm it does to a relationship and how it portrays myself. Looking back on my life many things that went wrong was that,

In my first relationship when things turned sour after forcefully letting my purity go for someone who didn’t love me, I became possessive and in need of the attention I never grew up with. The “bond” we had was non-existent and somewhat left me feeling like I was just a quick fix and he would get mad whenever he didn’t get what he wanted of me. Naïve at the time, I regarded it as love and attention that I crave from my significant other, I didn’t only want the attention he gave me, it was as if I needed it and couldn’t live without it. Many things were misunderstood, fights galore.. Spent less time talking to each other, lost chemistry and after the police case I tried to pursue the relationship even against the will of parents but when the other party eventually gives up, gradually, lying came into the picture to just keep my end happy and getting the “quick fixes” he needed. Sooner or later living through many conflicts and trust, and promises were broken and at last seeing him falling in love with someone else was heartbreaking. I spent more than a year to get over that heartbreak and led me to being used…again.

A year passed where I spent many hours of my days getting rid of the hurt by keeping myself busy and it just didn’t work. I thought I fell in love with a guy who decided to shower me with probably an ounce more love than what my first ex gave me. I was vulnerable and being exposed to love again, I gave it a try. That guy is an asshole for making me believe he loved me. And I was never quite the same ever. I started doubting words that could depict love. And I spent months almost getting into relationships and leaving as soon as it gets too serious. I was afraid of trusting, and I was afraid of falling in love again. I’m sorry for creating feelings that could’ve been but I wasn’t in the right state of mind and heart to love yet again and looking back at it now, I unintentionally had feelings for you that I never allowed to flourish because frankly it didn’t seem like it was worth it. Even at this point I resented that first ex for having me believe what we had was real, and treating me lesser than what a girlfriend really deserves.

Yet another year passed and slowly, time just melts the pain away… I was driven to study and lead a better life and another one came along.

Things went pretty well, we spent time studying together, we talked all the time and since we strived to meet each other every other day of the week, I could rely on him one days I was at my worst when I came to meet him, always being able to meet each other through tuition and library cause no alarm for distrust. We got close and soon I felt a sense of belonging. I knew not to be as dependent on him but being able to depend on someone was a luxury. I grew attached that I was afraid of letting him go. Afraid to let others see the kindness in him that we had boundaries to stop talking to the opposite gender unless completely necessary, jealousy and anger and fights and it escalated much quickly after the turn of events because of parents. I even resented the girls he used to love and the feelings he had for them and distrust him. The amount distress in the relationship cause him to fear telling me the truth even if it was really what I wanted to hear and to continuously grow and fix the relationship. It initially branched out from the mistake of not being able to study together because of pride, hence we were separated by the sea, after a year of being together. Fights go unsolved before we sleep, ending up ignoring each other, and priorities were jumbled. We both treated each other terribly. We regarded that the people in front of us were more important than the love of our life (at the moment) that was waiting on the other side of the line. When in fact, if we were face to face, we would talk to them first and then the rest, because if talking to the rest were more important that talking to out loved one, something is obviously wrong. Separated by the sea, it shouldn’t be any much different. Yes physical interaction is important, but disappearing and lying about it and not feeling sorry about it doesn’t make it right either. Because at the end of the day, the one who is in physical contact with you now is not going to be the one who wants to hold your hand for the rest of your life, and you really have to uphold the feelings of the one who does want to do so before talking to the rest of the world. Back to the story, so fights go unsolved, we disappeared on one another, and gradually talked less and doubted eachother because we almost never knew anything about each others lives in contrast to how we first got together because we spent so much time together and understood eachother. Not to mention amongst all the business and distance and fights we could never show our affection for each other physically nor online until confronted. Eventually when push comes to shove, we couldn’t rely on each other and we weren’t talking enough to be able to relate to each other anymore and feelings weren’t just the same. Eventually it led to the point of time that I thought losing him was the worst thing that could ever happen and I attempted suicide. Stupid right? Eventually he moved to KL and the damage was done, efforts I had carried out deemed almost impossible as the trust faded and the doubts grew and I slowly started giving up, he noticed this and tried to reconcile this as were we physically together. There is a big difference between putting in effort to take care of a strong relationship and trying to patch up what used to be a strong relationship. Prevention is cure vs fixing what is already broken. Somewhat relevant to using a new glass cup or a mirror, when handled with care, will probably strong enough to last many years if continuously tended with care patience and efforts. Whereas a broken glass or mirror fixed with glue , water in it will leak out and when you look into a mirror it will not look the same, and the years left for it is uncertain. Fixing it after a break will almost seem futile. Since then I realised, I’d rather be in a relationship where both parties are putting in effort to preserve the relationship instead of only fixing after a fight. After him I had another heartbreak, which I brought upon myself. I let go of many principles and let everything go with the flow, things were great at first because it was as if no strings were attached, but that deemed to be terrible after. No boundaries, no promises, no expectations for his side whereas I was the one who had expectations to uphold, which is funny and ironic that I could not expect anything out of him but he could expect everything from me, which I didnt mind, it gave me a better understanding of being patient and being tolerant and filtering what was really bullshit and what wasn’t I learned much more than I could ever ask for, not at the cost of my time. Getting into a relationship with someone who originally felt no obligation to me and could always stand on his own, taught me a sense of independence yet made me long the feeling of wanting to feel attached and the feeling of attachment. Things were good before he left and we managed to get some closure over having no strings attached and we were finally a normal couple. As compared to the begining of which he didn’t want to feel lovey dovey and was only into me for the chase when I was looking for a proper relationship. Time passed and no matter how close we were in those span of months deemed meaningless when separated by time and distance. Promises were not kept and schedules tore the bond we had apart. We could barely talk to each other and when we did we were both very stressed and the stress overtook whatever love he had for me when all I wanted was time with him. Gradually I expressed my sadness towards him and he felt longing to have freedom once again. In our relationship his favorite word was to give up and walk away. I fell for it a few times and was pretty heartbroken about it and after awhile I knew he never meant it and would change his mind the next day or in a week or so.. But seeing as we were already in the terrible state we were in, listening to it, I couldn’t help it. I drowned my sorrows in intoxicative substances. And things that shouldn’t have happened, happened. I decided to end things after that because i couldn’t live with myself. And even if we were rocky, he didn’t deserve an asshole like me. When we actually broke up he felt like he had lost something that actually kept him down to the ground and happy. He took the initiative to fix things and completely getting rid of the attitude I’ve been putting up with. After more than a week of trying I let him back in. He had it all right. But the damage to my heart had already been done and accidents happened, I came clean and things ended abruptly. I still live in guilt till today but I’m learning to forgive myself as the days pass. Over all that I realised that preserving a relationship is much more important and effective than fixing things after things are broken. And effort is one of the main aspects of keeping a relationship going. If you put in effort to get a girl, or a guy, you’re going to need the very same effort to keep it going and happy. Just because you are comfortable, doesn’t mean routines and promises can be taken for granted, big or small. If you wouldn’t break her heart by doing so and being unreliable when you were pursuing her, it should still be the same after you get into a relationship. If she was important as she is in front of you, she is no less important to you when she is away. Golden rules 1)Loyalty. - Nothing much to say about it, it’s self explanatory. Staying true to the one you love till the end of time. 2) Honesty - if they weren’t honest with you in the first place, you wouldn’t have fallen in love with them in the first place right? Being honest with each other is allowing them to see the most vulnerable part of you and open to judgement, something we should be comfortable doing it most with your loved one 3)Reliability - If you can’t rely on them at your worst, why should they be there at your best? And you wouldn’t be with them would you? They will be the one who will be there for you, through thick and thin willingly without even having to be asked and out of pure love! 4) Communication - Essentially, this was how you fell in love with someone, you tell them the up and downs of your life, they ride the rollercoaster of your life with you through your words, and sharing experiences. Portraying feelings and understanding each other. When your loved on is face to face, you'd treat them with respect and talk to them more than you would to others, and before leaving you would let them know so they wouldn't be worried about you, because obviously your loved one would care so much about you because they have the intention of holding your hand throughout everything in your life as compared to the people you are talking to other than your lover. When separated by distance, it should still be the same. It is just that the method of communication is limited to a screen and internet and battery, and it does not mean she should be treated any less than how she was when she was there. Should you disappear you should let her know just as if she were right next to you. Being separated by the seas doesn't mean communication gets harder or lesser and it shouldn't cause much distance between the heart if communication remains. Communication is also very important in portraying a message or during a fight, its important that the fight doesn't prolong till after a nights rest. It should be resolved as quickly as possible with both parties coming to a mutual agreement, to prevent thoughts like "he doesnt understand me... Why would he do this" and lead to resentment and sadness. 5) Spending time - This was how you fall in love with each an every antic. You spend time with each other and feel a sense of belonging.. You remember everything that they do that makes them, them. You get new experiences together and they etch many memories deep into your soul. They become a daily part of your life and is important to include them to feel complete. When we are separated by distance, learn to appreciate video calls, phone calls, games together and texting. 6)Promises - The difference between lying and promises is that, when you lie, you betray ones trust. When you promise something, someone bestows in you that you won't betray their trust. Promises whether big or small test how much you value the hope they have in you for fulfilling their wishes and their trust. Promises build a strong relationship and proves trust. 7)Trust - The feeling of giving a gun to someone and holding it to your heart and believing they won't pull the trigger. Usually starts from reassurance of being the only one in your heart, to publicly displaying affection to allow people to know that theres no one else in your heart but her. No lies and everything and believing in one another. Now I am happily in a relationship again and somewhat I feel like this one's going to go much better than the rest. I have faith that I know I will continuously love him as long as I keep to my rules.. I've come a long way from what I was before and finally ready to love again.

[dead-optics]

So I was watching some tv and there was this really weird commercial for some kind of headless doll thing. The commercial claimed that if you put the doll in certain spots in your house, on the floor in wall corners or right next to door jambs, you’d gain some kind of “sixth sense”. The commercial also boasted a stack of clay discs wrapped in some kind of tarp-ish material would amplify the doll’s effects if placed around or under the doll. The commercial ended and the show I was watching resumed.

This show was very reminiscent of Sesame Street. There were adults, kids, and puppets placed in front of sometimes intricate, and sometimes crude, man-made backdrops. The characters in this episode seemed to be two adults and roughly 10-15 children aged around 7-10. All or most of the children were wearing black blindfolds, but were otherwise uninhibited. Each of the kids were holding a small puppet.

It’s a fairly typical classroom setting. The children are lined up and ready to learn from both of the adults in the room. The adult standing closest to the children, about 5-feet away, is also wearing a blindfold. However, his blindfold has circular holes cut around his eyes so he can see. He doesn’t have any pupils though, just slightly bloodshot, white eyes. His puppet is larger than any of the children’s puppets. Everything about him seems to scream “Teacher aid”.

The adult standing near the desk at the back of the room isn’t wearing a blindfold. He actually looks fairly normal. Not much distinguishable from him and your average everyman. He holds the largest puppet in the room. Well, he’s not really holding it. The puppet is sitting on the desk with the man’s right hand and arm plunged into it.

The man standing next to the desk, even though he never says anything, is obviously the teacher. Even though he never seems to move at all, his puppet seems to be giving a rather engaging lecture on the fundamentals and intricacies of puppet care, and how to achieve the previously advertised “sixth sense”.

The puppets themselves are rather peculiar. All of the children’s puppets are fairly small, possess Sesame Street-style googly eyes, and seem to be very active. They roam over their respective child’s bodies as they please, and look around trying to observe everything that they can. Each puppet heavily resembles a crab or crab-like creature. Hard exoskeleton encompassing the top half of each puppet’s body, but the bottom half seemed to be completely covered in long, fine, tentacle-like hairs that they used for locomotion. No two puppets looked exactly the same, and there was plenty of variety despite the small stature of each puppet.

All of the puppets looked as though they were mere seconds away from rotting apart. The exoskeletons were soft and mushy, and the tenta-hairs were various shades of black, brown, and gray and were atrociously dirty.

The teacher aid’s puppet was much like the children’s puppets, but much larger and more sedentary. Just hanging on, or around the aid’s neck and shoulders.

It was the Teacher’s puppet that commanded the most attention in the room. It seemed to be a conglomeration of multiple octopus-hair-crab creatures instead of just one very large one. The Teacher’s puppet also seemed to change it’s shape every so often. First it was a pile of rotting hairy-octo-crabs, then the crabs would rot away quickly and a chimp covered in rotting crab flesh would continue the puppet’s lecture. The puppet shifted again and the chimp rotted. Multiple hairy-octo-crabs pushing out of the chimps body and resuming their roll as the puppet.

As the lecture came to a close, the Teacher’s puppet said it was time for the children to graduate, and finally earn their “sixth sense”. As the puppet said this, the room rumbled. I had a distinct feeling that some kind of binding law, or technicality prevented the completion if this ceremony. All of the children’s puppets, but none of the children, panicked and disappeared. The teacher’s aid’s puppet disappeared also. He lost his blindfold, and a large amount of boils and pimples grew on the aid’s face as his puppet disappeared.

The Teacher’s puppet did not disappear. It just decreased in size. It also seemed put off by its loss of power, like it suffered a kind of setback. The Teacher’s puppet gave the aid some instructions, presumably to remedy the situation, and then the show ended.

[dead-optics]

Mic’d Up—Seminaries and Satanists

Broken down into segments and summaries for easier watching.

Segment 1. 23 minutes (0-23): The dude savagely picks apart a defamatory email from a priest. Really underscoring the levels of infighting going on in the Catholic Church right meow.

Segment 2. 14 minutes (23-37): Random interview with a former seminarian. Seminarian describes his personal experiences in seminaries in the last five years with emphasis on his experiences with homosexual seminarians. Basically an eye-witness account. Not as solid first 23 minutes.

Segment 3. 17 minutes (37-55): Random interview with a priest. Priest describes his personal experience in the priesthood and seminary. Basically eye-witness account, also some conjecture. Audio also kinda funky in this segment. [Strong words regarding homosexual attraction in this segment.]

Segment 4. 18 minutes (55-1:13): Phone interview with Congressman Robert K. Dornan. Reasoning against ordaining homosexual men into priesthood is discussed in this segment. Very interesting stuff. [VERY strong words regarding homosexual attraction and maybe transgenderism in this segment. Prooobably not for the easily triggered.]

Segment 5. 18 minutes (1:14-1:32): Interview with staff regarding the Satanic Statue Unveiling in Detroit. Staff describe the event. Eye-witness accounts. Some very interesting opinions and conjecture thrown around in this segment. [Strong words regarding homosexual attraction and satanism in this segment.]

[deafeningly]

Good enough.

Came home and I accidentally fell asleep while trying to destress from everything this week. I guess the worst part is having to have rushed (again sigh) a submission this week and having to jump into another rush because I have another submission on Monday.

I was walking home and thinking to myself there really are pros and cons being a design student. Or someone who just likes design, in general. Pro, you get to see things differently. Con, you're forced to study that there is a standard of perfection although honestly that standard of perfection is hard to achieve. That's why it's called perfection, isn't it?

I'm so tired. Said so many times, repeated often. I end up doing and saying things I don't remember, doing much unplanned, messing up a graded presentation even though I worked really hard on the slides, sharing and rambling, trying to listen to people and struggling what to reply.

I think the worst part is having people tell me my work is nice and in my head I think,"No it isn't, if I had more time I would have done a better job..it's not nice. Look at the other work, it's nicer." I've been trying to work harder and then the whole idea that my good isn't good enough just swirls around my head. There will always be people out there who will be better than me. Seeing people work their butts off, compete in school, I'm just really glad God broke that competitive part of me in secondary school. Can't do it without Him, can't go on without Him.

It's okay to be competitive, but what for? I just remember dying a lot, still dying today. Not trying to sound emo but school's tough. The going gets tough but the tough gets going. Second month of school and it's really stressful and here I am making dumb decisions like staying up when I know I have to wake up at 9am. Dumb decisions like unintentionally adding things onto my plate when I know I have too much going on. Dumb accidental decisions like spending too much money and breaking my phone and losing my keys and breaking my bottle and oversleeping.

I woke up hoping for a day that I'll never have to rush. I spent half the year thinking I'm older than what I am hahahah and it dawned upon me that I'm still quite young and it astounds me sometimes that I have friends that are my exact age because the people I see on a daily or often basis are either older or younger than me. Is it just me? I'm not just a "age is just a number" kind of person, it matters to me. Feeling kinda lame to think like that.

I'm blessed. I got great friends, not the perfect family but nobody can ever replace them and my God is here. I still believe that everything will fall together in His timing. I really need to pray more though ha haha. I heard year two is the toughest year. u_u

Everything just happens too quickly. I'm not ready for a lot of things but then again, who is?

x