#lost myself

[echoesofsaturn]

I plant roots so deeply in the people I love that I always lose a piece of myself when they go.

- Beau Taplin

[cache-e]

“I lost myself so many years ago that I hesitate to try to find myself again. I am afraid to begin. Existing so often gives me palpitations. I am so afraid to be myself. I am so dangerous.”

Clarice Lispector II Why This World: A Biography of Clarice Lispector

[nelly-rebellyyyyy]

I definitely lost my mind ...

[seraphimdarkness]

Ich habe so lange gekämpft, aber mein Kopf ist ein Ort geworden, an dem ich nicht mehr leben kann.

Depression, Angst und Panik haben mich Stück für Stück zerbrochen.

Nach außen war ich immer noch da… aber innerlich bin ich schon lange verschwunden.

Es tut mir leid.

Ich hoffe irgendwann versteht jemand, wie müde ich wirklich war...

[mydarkawaits]

Sad feelings are not discussed, but let me tell you that one of the worst feelings you can go through is being lost. Sadness, loss, or even disappointment may be real and honest feelings, but at least you are able to describe your feelings, able to express them, able to live with them, and even in your heart you have the ability to change them in different ways.

But getting lost and confused is very difficult.

You can't define your feelings.

Am I sad or happy?

Am I good or bad?

Am I wronged and oppressed, or has the wrongdoer wronged me?

Am I enough for others, or am I a burden?

Continue or give up?

Have I reached it or not?

Do I deserve love or do I deserve hate?

Should I try again, or is that enough?

Am I even trying, or am I not even trying?

Am I lagging behind and my steps are slow, or is it the world that is fast?

Is what I have reached enough, or not yet, or have I not reached it at all?

Hundreds of tough questions you ask yourself every day... You're unable to determine your destination or path, and even your thoughts are lost and scattered...

And after a long journey of wandering and distraction, you discover...

that you weren't a demanding person to begin with...

and that your journey of wandering and distraction was in search of one thing...

to settle down, calm your mind, relax, and reassure your heart...

that the ultimate goal of human life is peace and tranquility.

[rsodintotheunknown]

Self

I lost my self

in a pretty summer day.

And I haven't found it

hence why my soul was slain.

And to be lost can be good

but to lose oneself can not,

for it is worse than craving a

feeling, knowing you've no worth.

I lost my self

in a rainy afternoon.

And since then just like the rain

tears stream down my face.

And there is no place

for a lost self,

for there is no place

for a hollow shell.

And I lost my self

on a cold night.

And just like snow

falling to earth,

my pieces were thrown

all over the moonlight.

And I question myself:

did I ever have a 'self'?

Or have I ever been a

hollow shell?

Aimlessly walking

up and down the streets.

Endlessly crying,

no love, no caring, not even a soul to keep.

And so I weep,

for there was never a 'me'.

And what is that of a man

without a 'self', a head without a face,

hollow eye sockets, forbidden to gaze.

→ dividers by: @firefly-graphics, thanks a lot.

[myheartwrites]

He made me all his colours,

but little did he know he was painting me gray

I'm the shade now which I don't know anymore

Is their a warm gray? All I see is clouds and storms.

[xxxkitt3n]