#lowk vent

[shallow-loomer]

WHY CANT YOU COME STITCH ME UP? WHY CANT IT EVER BE ENOUGH??

[the-desi-barbie]

a few fine examples of how my mother dearest twists everything i say:

me: *on not being allowed to wear shorts outside home* "well a lot of girls wear it yknow" my mother: "yeah and a lot of girls also do drugs and have sex, how about you do that too now huh"

(???????) (idk how tf wanting to wear smth comfortable for fucking 40 degree celsius became this)

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me: "maybe you could mix some veggies with a little mayonnaise and wrap it in a roll and give it to me for lunch" my mother: "why are you eating mayonnaise, there's poison available, eat that instead"

(???????) (what the actual fuck)

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me: "i wish sunday would come soon" my mother: "why do you need sunday, it's not like you're studying all day or anything, you're enjoying yourself enough arent you? yesterday you were out and about all morning, studied nothing at all, what else do you want?"

(i was out bc of practicals and then i went to make new glasses. and i got up at 6 am to study extra. i study 6 hrs at home everyday aside from the 7 hrs in class. but of course that isnt enough.)

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and then she's like "why dont you talk to me anymore" :DDDDDD

[robbertosrats]

"support mentally ill people!!" until they struggle with hypersexuality.

[thestarsshineevenwhenhidden]

ok i'm confessing but idk if i can explain it well so bear w me guys ok

yk how sometimes, you'lle be watching or reading smth or wtv and there's ppl in a relationship an you casually go 'ugh im so jealous' like you also want a relationship cos 'oh they're so cute tg i want that' yk

well.

lately.

i get that but a whole lot worse, and idk how to put it into words properly but basically there will be an actual physical ache, a fucking ACHE. in my chest whenever i see/read abt ppl being in love, and it's basically like 'oh i want that' but intensified like i genuinely need someone to be like this w me rn i'm actually going to die, like it's a good feeling cos aww yk it's abt love n joy but it's also a horrible feeling cos holy crap i am a lonely unloved single fuck and it is PHYSICALLY HURTING ME bc i need someone like this to such an insane degree

i still haven't explained it that well but this the best i can do, ugh the limitations of language

anyway

there is only one conceivable reason why this feeling has been so much stronger lately, or at least the only one i can think of; cos since i like someone, and there's a high chance they like me, and we talk n we text n it's adorable, right yk js your average situation n so but basically this is the first time i've actually had a chance with someone so i think the reason this like ache is sm worse is bc like, i have the chance to actually have this cutesie relationship i'm seeing the characters or wtv have, yk like before i wanted it but it was impossible so yk. the feeling is pretty casual. but now the possibility is more in reach so the fact that i dont have it is even worse like you're right there you can just abt get it but also you don't have it.

again, haven't explained it v well, hopefully it makes some sense tho

[sckrewyew]

[ɢᴇɴᴇʀɪᴄ, sᴜᴘᴇʀ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛғᴇʟᴛ 'ᴊᴜsᴛ ʙᴇ ʏᴏᴜ' sᴘᴇᴇᴄʜ]

࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

ᴛᴡ: ɪᴅᴋ ɢᴜʏs, ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴍᴏsᴛʟʏ ᴘᴏsɪᴛɪᴠᴇ ɪɴ ᴍʏ ᴇʏᴇs. ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ's ᴄᴜss ᴡᴏʀᴅs ᴛʜᴏ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴛʏᴘᴏs. ᴀɴᴅ ᴄᴏʟᴏʀs ɪғ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʙᴏᴛʜᴇʀs ᴀɴʏᴏɴᴇ.

sᴇʀɪᴏᴜsʟʏ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜ, ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ's ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴇᴛʜᴏᴅ. ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ. ᴀɴᴅ ɪ sᴀʏ "ᴛʜᴀᴛ's ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴇᴛʜᴏᴅ" ғᴏʀ ᴀ ʟᴏᴛ ᴏғ ᴛʜɪɴɢs. ʙᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ's ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴍᴇ. ɪ ᴀʟsᴏ sᴀʏ ʙʀᴏ ɪɴ ᴀʟᴍᴏsᴛ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ sᴇɴᴛᴇɴᴄᴇ. ᴛʜᴀᴛ's ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴍᴇ ᴛᴏᴏ. ᴀᴍ ɪ ɢᴏɴɴᴀ ᴏᴠᴇʀʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴍʏ ᴏᴡɴ ᴍᴇssᴀɢᴇ ʜᴇʀᴇ ᴏɴᴇ ᴅᴀʏ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ᴏғ ᴀ ɴᴇɢᴀᴛɪᴠᴇ ᴇᴠᴇɴᴛ ᴏʀ ᴇᴍᴏᴛɪᴏɴ? ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ; ʙᴜᴛ ɪ'ʟʟ ᴘʀᴏʙᴀʙʟʏ ᴄɪʀᴄʟᴇ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛᴏ ɪᴛ ᴛᴏᴏ. ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ's sᴛɪʟʟ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴍᴇ.

ɪғ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ's ᴏɴᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢ ɪ ᴋᴇᴇᴘ ʀᴇʟᴇᴀʀɴɪɴɢ, ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅɪɴɢ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ ᴛʜɪs ᴡᴇᴇᴋ, ɪᴛ's ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɴᴏ ᴏɴᴇ ᴄᴀʀᴇs. ɪ ᴍᴇᴀɴ, ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴅᴏ ᴛᴏ ᴀ ᴅᴇɢʀᴇᴇ, ʙᴜᴛ ɴᴏᴛ ᴀs ᴍᴜᴄʜ ᴀs ʏᴏᴜ ᴡɪʟʟ. ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴ ᴡʜᴏ ɪɴsᴜʟᴛᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜ? ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴄᴀʀᴇ. ᴛʜᴇʏ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ɢɪᴠᴇ ᴀ ᴅᴀᴍɴ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ; ɪғ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴅɪᴅ, ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅɴ'ᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ sᴀɪᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ. ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴍɪɢʜᴛ ғᴏʀɢᴇᴛ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ɪᴛ ғɪᴠᴇ ᴍɪɴᴜᴛᴇs ʟᴀᴛᴇʀ, ᴏʀ ʀᴇᴍᴇʙᴇʀ ɪᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴊᴏᴋᴇ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ɪᴛ ғɪᴠᴇ ʏᴇᴀʀs ʟᴀᴛᴇʀ. ʙᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴄᴀʀᴇ. ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ɪᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ɢᴇᴛ ᴜᴘsᴇᴛ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ɪᴛ, ᴛʜᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀʀᴇ. ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ᴘʀᴏʙᴀʙʟʏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴ ᴡʜᴏ ᴅᴏᴇs.

ᴡʜᴀᴛᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴄᴏʀɴʏ ᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅɪᴅ? ɴᴏʙᴏᴅʏ ᴄᴀʀᴇs. ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴍᴀʏ ᴘᴏɪɴᴛ ᴏᴜᴛ ɪᴛ ʙᴇɪɴɢ ᴄᴏʀɴʏ, ɪᴛ ᴘʀᴏʙᴀʙʟʏ ᴡᴀs! ʙᴜᴛ ᴍᴏsᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇʟʏ, ᴛʜᴇʏ'ʟʟ ғᴏʀɢᴇᴛ. ɪғ ɴᴏᴛ sᴏᴏɴ, ᴛʜᴇɴ ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴘᴏssɪʙʟʏ ɢᴇᴛ sᴏᴍᴇ ʙʀᴀɪɴ ᴄᴏɴᴅɪᴛɪᴏɴ ɪɴ sɪxᴛʏ ʏᴇᴀʀs, ɢɪᴠᴇ ᴏʀ ᴛᴀᴋᴇ. ʙᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍɪɢʜᴛ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ɪᴛ, ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ'ʟʟ ᴄᴀʀᴇ. ᴀᴛ ʟᴇᴀsᴛ ᴜɴᴛɪʟ ʏᴏᴜ ғᴏʀɢᴇᴛ ᴛᴏᴏ.

ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴏɪɴᴛ ɪs: ᴅᴏ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀɴᴛ. ʟɪᴛᴇʀᴀʟʟʏ. ᴅᴏ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ. ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ɪᴛ'ʟʟ ʙᴇ ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴍɪɴᴅ, ʙᴜᴛ ᴘʀᴏʙᴀʙʟʏ ʟᴏɴɢᴇʀ ᴛʜᴀɴ ɪᴛ'ʟʟ ʙᴇ ɪɴ ᴀɴʏᴏɴᴇ ᴇʟsᴇ's. ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ sɪᴛ ᴀɴᴅ sᴛᴀʏ ᴄʟᴏsᴇᴅ ᴏғғ ғᴏʀᴇᴠᴇʀ, ɴᴏᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴏɴᴇ. ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ ᴛᴏ ɢᴇᴛ ᴇᴍʙᴀʀᴀssᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴏᴠᴇʀ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴀɴ ᴛᴏ sᴛʀᴇss ᴏᴠᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴏssɪʙɪʟɪᴛʏ ᴏғ ɪᴛ. ғᴜᴄᴋ ᴀɴʏ sᴛᴜᴘɪᴅ ᴏᴘɪɴɪᴏɴ ᴏʀ ᴄᴏᴍᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʙᴏᴛʜᴇʀs ʏᴏᴜ. ғᴜᴄᴋ ᴀɴʏ sᴛʀᴇssғᴜʟ sɪᴛᴜᴀᴛɪᴏɴ. ғᴜᴄᴋ ɪɢɴᴏʀᴀɴᴛ, ᴍɪsᴇʀᴀʙʟᴇ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴡʜᴏ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʟɪғᴇ ᴡᴏʀsᴇ. ғᴜᴄᴋ ғᴇᴇʟɪɴɢ ᴜᴘsᴇᴛ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ sᴛᴜᴘɪᴅ sʜɪᴛ. ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ɴᴏ ᴏɴᴇ ᴄᴀʀᴇs ᴇxᴄᴇᴘᴛ ʏᴏᴜ.

ᴀɴᴅ ɪ'ᴍ ɴᴏᴛ ɢᴏɴɴᴀ ᴇɴᴅ ᴛʜɪs ᴡɪᴛʜ "ʙᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ ᴅᴏ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ɪᴛ", ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ sᴏᴍᴇᴛɪᴍᴇs ɪᴛ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴅᴏᴇsɴ'ᴛ ғᴇᴇʟ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ, ɴᴏ ᴍᴀᴛᴛᴇʀ ʜᴏᴡ ᴍᴀɴʏ ᴛɪᴍᴇs ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴇᴀʀ ɪᴛ. sᴏᴍᴇᴛɪᴍᴇs, ʏᴏᴜ ᴊᴜsᴛ ɢᴏᴛᴛᴀ ʟᴇᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ʙɪᴛᴛᴇʀ, ᴅᴏᴡɴᴄᴀsᴛ, ɴᴇɢᴀᴛɪᴠᴇ sᴛᴜғғ sɪᴛ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ʙᴇғᴏʀᴇ ɪᴛ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇs ʏᴏᴜʀ sʏsᴛᴇᴍ. ᴇᴠᴇɴ ɪғ ɪᴛ ᴏɴʟʏ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇs ᴛᴇᴍᴘᴏʀᴀʀɪʟʏ. ɪᴛ's ᴏᴋᴀʏ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ᴛʜᴀᴛ. ɪ ᴅᴏ ᴛʜᴀᴛ.

ᴛʟᴅʀ: ɢᴇᴛ ᴏᴠᴇʀ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏʙᴏᴅʏ ᴇʟsᴇ, ᴘᴜʟʟ ᴀ ᴍɪʟᴇs ᴍᴏʀᴀʟᴇs ᴀɴᴅ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴡɴ ᴛʜɪɴɢ

(ᴇᴀsɪᴇʀ sᴀɪᴅ ᴛʜᴀɴ ᴅᴏɴᴇ, ɪ ᴋɴᴏᴡ)

-ᴍɪʏᴀ

࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

ᴘ.s.,

ɪ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴡʀᴏᴛᴇ ᴛʜɪs ғᴏʀ ᴍʏsᴇʟғ, ɪ ғᴇʟᴛ ᴛᴏᴛᴀʟʟʏ ᴍɪsᴇʀᴀʙʟᴇ ᴛᴏᴅᴀʏ, ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴍɪɢʜᴛ ғᴇᴇʟ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴀʏ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ, ʙᴜᴛ ɪᴛ's ᴏᴋᴀʏ. ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ɪ ᴀʟsᴏ ʟᴇᴀʀɴᴇᴅ ɪ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴊᴜsᴛ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴛᴀʟᴋ ᴛᴏ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ, ᴘɪᴄᴋ ᴜᴘ ᴀ ʜᴏʙʙʏ, ᴏʀ ᴊᴜsᴛ sᴛᴀʏ ᴘʀᴇᴏᴄᴄᴜᴘɪᴇᴅ ᴜɴᴛɪʟ ɪ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ᴀɴʏᴍᴏʀᴇ. ᴀɴᴅ ɪғ/ᴡʜᴇɴ ɪ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ, sʟᴇᴇᴘ ɪs ᴀʟᴡᴀʏs ᴀɴ ᴏᴘᴛɪᴏɴ. ʏᴏᴜ ɢᴜʏs ᴍᴀᴋᴇ sᴜʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴍᴇɴᴛᴀʟ ʜᴇᴀʟᴛʜ ɪs ᴏᴋᴀʏ. ᴄʜᴇᴄᴋ ᴏɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ғʀɪᴇɴᴅs, ғᴀᴍɪʟʏ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴍɪsᴄᴇʟʟᴀɴᴇᴏᴜs ɢʀᴏᴜᴘs. ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ᴄᴀʀᴇ ᴏғ ʏᴏᴜʀsᴇʟᴠᴇs. sᴇᴇ ʏᴀ.

[ashishere0w0]

oh my god fuck you mom. I have very little childhood memories because of how I was treated and my dad watched a video he filmed on my eighth birthday.

he then (just now) said that he was sorry and that he felt bad for both him and my mom being so mean to me on my birthday. my mom, who was right next to him, said “NO I WASNT MEAN!!! I WAS STRESSED!!! I WASNT MEAN!!!” and my dad TRIED correcting her but she just WOULDNT SHUT UP. GIRL. YOU CANT TAKE ACCOUNTABILITY!!! YOU ARE AN EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE PIECE OF SHIT AND I HOPE YOU ROT YOU FAT BITCH. FUCK YOU

do you know how PATHETIC that is? My father, who RARELY speaks to me. Could own up to his mistakes and say that he’s sorry. But my own MOTHER could not FATHOM the fucking THOUGHT of her being a bad person. Oh FUCK YOU.

[minervadamn]

when the topic is being left out so i lowk leave the room

[syljorxx]

i’m at the point of my life where i just wait for the weekend to get wasted. I think i got addicted to alcohol again, every weekend i drink, much. This weekend im hosting a sleepover and will drunk again, and i actually can’t wait for it, i feel like when i’m drunk everyone likes me more, everyone is nicer. When i’m sober i just feel like im in simulation, i have really big memory problems lately and i just don’t want to be sober, i want to be drunk, i want everyone to like how funny i am when drunk. They will never like sober me anyway.