An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
By @woahtherebuckerino
Summary:
So when Hyrule is all by himself, in a largely unfamiliar Hyrule, and he sees a seemingly abandoned pot with potential treasure inside that can also spin by itself? Of course he had to investigate. He had to understand where his friends were coming from. Maybe the ceramic conundrum could only be understood by those who participated in it. He had still been hesitant to shatter the pot unthinkingly and thought he would take a look inside to see if it was worth his time.
There was nothing inside. It was not worth his time.
Now his head is stuck in a potentially sentient pot, and he does not know where anyone else is to get it off of him, and he might never break free.
He should have just accepted the harp lessons.
-----
(aka hyrule does not understand everyone else's obsession with shattering pottery and seeks to rectify this shortcoming)
Tags:
POV Hyrule
Humor
Crack
Crack Treated Seriously
i use the word pot eighty times in this fic
no beta we die like pottery in the zelda franchise
Prompt! It’s cold here so maybe a relaxed beach day and showing off the Link’s various water items?
Beach days are always nice! I stuck with just description on this one, figured it would be a nice change of pace from most of my snippets so far!
(If you read this and would like to request a short snippet, see this post!)
It was always good to get the chance to relax, and landing near a peaceful beach was about the best they could do. After patrolling the area, they’d shed their weapons and armor and most had taken off their shirts and changed into shorts.
Wind and Wild were splashing in the water, taking turns dunking each other down. Time and Legend sat just outside the reach of the gentle waves. Legend was holding Time’s Zora tunic and Time had Legend’s mermaid suit draped across his lap. They were clearly comparing the items, and though Warriors couldn’t hear the conversation from here, he could imagine them debating about the merits of each.
Not far away from them, Twilight and Four were both pulling on items of their own. Twilight had a scaled tunic which Warriors knew was also from the Zora. Four, however, had donned flippers. He was walking — or waddling might be the better description — into the water with long, flat steps. He’d only made it a few feet into the water when Twilight made a quacking noise at him, and Four turned around with a glare. But he didn’t notice Wind coming up behind him. Before Four could respond to Twilight, Wind jumped up and pulled Four into the water. The two flailed around, splashing and yelling while Wild egged them on.
Sky had gone a bit deeper into the water after showing off his Water Dragon Scale. He’d come back to the shore a few times, showing off shells and bits of sea glass he’d found at the bottom of the lake. The small pile of treasures sat on a cloth next to Warriors to dry so they could stow them away later on.
That just left himself and Hyrule under the shade of the trees at the edge of the beach. Warriors had rolled up his pants and shed his outer layers, leaving himself in just his loose under shirt. He’d pushed the sleeves up and untied the neck to loosen it. He was happy to stay in the shade — he’d rather not get burnt and he’d never been that fond of water anyways.
Beside him, Hyrule was using some small vines to tie together the branches he’d cut from the nearby trees. The raft he was making was much smaller than the ones he’d used on his own adventure, or so Hyrule had said. But it seemed like he was having fun, so Warriors left him to it.
[Finally finished the follower raffle fic for @wayward-lotus , thank you for being so patient with me. This is pretty much just fluff. And I’ll be putting this on AO3 later on today. I hope you enjoy ^u^]
The group had ended up on a mountain; one Wild seemed to both know and be very excited by, if his bouncing in place and large smile were any indications. It was later in the day by now, and after traveling first through a vast expanse of land and then a disorienting trip through a portal, they had decided that it was as good a time as any to make camp for the night. Wild led the way between three large rocks that made up the pointed tip of the mountain. From the inside, there were three well-trodden paths with a cooking pot on top of a pile of ash.
“This is a good spot to rest for the night; besides, there’s lots more to see up here when it gets dark.”
“Not that I don’t believe you,” Legend spoke, sitting close to the pot and looking up at Wild’s grinning face, “but I don’t believe you.”
Wild laughed, setting up an area to prep the food for dinner in the center of the three rock spires. They all started conversing amongst themselves as Wild finished and passed around dinner as the sun slowly set over the horizon. Wild hummed to himself, putting things away and cleaning up everything left over from dinner.
“So, what’s so great about this mountain? You got super excited when you realized we were here,” Wind questioned.
“Well, besides the ridiculous amount of useful resources here, there’s something special that you can see on rare nights beyond this peak. I have a good feeling about tonight,” Wild explained, setting the now clean cooking pot down with some finality.
“I’ll admit, there’s a… feeling, I guess,” Hyrule spoke, closing his eyes and setting his hands on the ground, “Something is definitely here. Something with powerful magic.”
“Good or bad?” Four poked Hyrule, the traveler batting Four’s hand away with a chuckle.
“Neutral? I’m not sure, but it isn’t dark magic.”
“Well,” Time spoke up, rumbling voice gaining everyone’s attention, “we’re staying the night anyway, may as well see if we can spot what you mentioned, Champion.”
Wild nodded as he sat against one of the tall rocks and stared at the world beyond. Conversation flowed soon after, talking about other areas with similar magical feelings. Twilight mentioned the Lost Woods of his era, how the skull kid that resided there was mischievous but not an enemy. Sky talked about three dragons' lairs and a sky deity that could have been similar. Four mentioned the Minish, while the others shrugged with little to offer. Soon, the stars shone brightly despite the fire blazing between the group members as they talked long into the night. Then, slowly creeping in, a strange teal mist began to pour into the clearing. Wild sat up with a grin, then stood slowly and motioned for everyone to quiet down. As they noticed the mist, they stood up, following Wild’s lead to stay quiet.
Looking down the path between two rocks, they spotted a glowing blue creature with a face like an owl and two long feathered antennae coming out of the fur on its head. It peered at the group with beady gold eyes but did not seem frightened by the sight of the group. It came closer, repeatedly stopping to cock its head as though thinking or questioning them all. Hyrule was the first to move, stepping next to Wild and getting down on one knee to get closer, extending a hand to the creature. It went right up to him, sniffing curiously at his hand and lightly brushing its face against it. Hyrule smiled wide, Wild slowly taking out his slate to photograph the scene.
“What is that?” Wind whispered the question, and Wild held the slate in a hand as he turned to the Sailor.
“A Blupee. I think they’re drawn to magical locations.”
“They’re beautiful,” Hyrule whispered, petting the top of the Blupee’s head.
The Blupee closed its eyes as the hero petted it, then turned and walked toward the end of the path, where the teal-colored mist was coming from. It turned to them as though waiting. Hyrule took no time to stand and walk forward, the others following closely behind, eyes sparkling in wonder.
When they passed the rocks, the group found themselves overlooking a small pond that Blupees surrounded, with cherry blossoms steadily drifting from the tree at the water's edge. And in the very center of the water, looking up at the group, was what looked, at least in part, to be a horse. But that didn’t do the creature justice. Its body was cloaked in a teal-blue light, with lines and shapes of light blue wrapping around it. Its mane and tail were long, the mane covering and wrapping around the creature’s neck. It had the same antennae that the Blupees did, but its face was not one of an owl’s. Instead, it had long ears that hung at the sides of its face and a long patch of fur that hung from the center of its face that seemed to act as its mouth. It had four golden eyes that shone like stars, watching as the heroes entered its domain.
“It’s beautiful,” Twilight breathed out at the sight, and several of the Links nodded in agreement.
“What’s that in the middle of the pond?” Wars asked.
“Oh, that’s the Lord of the Mountain. A spirit that protects Mount Satori,” Wild explained, taking a seat at the edge of the water, cross-legged, “Some travelers believe that the Lord is a nature spirit and that they are here to help mend the land after the Calamity.”
“So, the Blupees?” Legend asked, kneeling down near Wild.
“Think of them like Fairies are to the Great Fairies. They’re like helpers.”
A Blupee approached the two by the water, occasionally pausing to watch and tilt its head. Legend watched in turn, tilting his head like it was. When the Blupee got close enough, it stood up on its hind legs, leaning with its forepaws on Legend’s side. Legend watched it, making eye contact with the Blupee, holding still. The Blupee slowly closes its eyes, then opens them, Legend copying the action. That was when a small group of Blupees also approached, practically running and knocking into Legend’s back as they started to climb him.
“Hey!”
Legend didn’t get much time to yell as he ungracefully fell forward onto his face, hair barely brushing the water’s edge. Laughter erupted as the other Links saw Legend's predicament. Wind fell to the ground in a fit of laughter, practically rolling on the ground with the force of it. Wild reached out to scratch a Blupees head, chuckling to himself.
“They’re pretty cute,” Four spoke, sitting next to the downed Legend and petting another Blupee on the back. The Blupee in question turned to Four and jumped to his lap, nestling in and closing its eyes.
A few more Blupees were brave, trotting up to Time and Hyrule, pawing at them as though to be picked up. Hyrule smiled, happily bending down to pick them up, and holding them close to his chest as he walked toward the trio by the water. Time merely reached down to pat the Blupee’s head, but the Blupee was not satisfied, jumping up Time’s arm before he could fully pull away. The Blupee took up residence on Time’s shoulder, and Twilight chuckled at his mentor, scratching the Blupee between its antenna.
The remaining group approached the water, Wind kneeling down and dipping a hand into the water. Mere moments after Wind had done this, a low humming noise began. Sky looked up, watching the Lord of the Mountain turn toward the group, watching them unblinkingly. Wild nudged the Blupees off of Legend, helping him sit up in time to watch as the Lord of the Mountain gracefully walked toward them, the water barely shifting with each step. When the Lord of the Mountain was a single step away, the Lord stopped and watched them. The low humming grew louder.
“Heroes across time and space,” a voice echoed, “I, Satori, welcome you to this sacred place. Though you came here unnaturally, know that you will not be harmed, not while I am here.”
“Thank you, Satori,” Time spoke, giving a short bow as the Blupee on his shoulder moved to keep balance, “We will only be staying the night nearby.”
A soft breeze blew, almost like laughter.
“There is no need for formalities here, Hero of Time. You may stay as long as you need and take with you the resources the mountain has to offer you for your journey.”
“It’s very appreciated,” Warriors spoke up, smiling.
Satori nodded, then closed their eyes.
“I wish to bestow upon your group a blessing.” Satori spoke, and the humming quieted, settling over the space like the teal mist around them as Satori’s markings began to glow, “With the powers invested in me, may the wilderness provide you with all that you need, may the moonlight your way at night and the stars shine as a silent comfort. May the road that stretches before you not challenge you and may the ocean waves not toss you from safety. With the powers instilled in my spring, I bless you, heroes, that all these things come to pass.”
The humming ceased, and with a single blink, Satori vanished with all the Blupees that had surrounded them disappearing as though they were never there. In the distance, they could see the sky starting to lighten.
“Let’s just sleep for a while. We can stay here until we’re all fully rested,” Time stated, and none of the heroes disagreed.
They all slept peacefully, without the need for a watch shift as Satori promised them that as long as they were here, they would always be safe.
If you're still taking requests... "A Warriors Joins Last" fic but Warriors is just doing his job, moving from fort to fort, unaware that people are trying to find him and keep missing him. It's essentially the "your princess is in another castle" problem.
Thanks for sending in this fun prompt!! <3
“Sorry, you just missed him,” says the guard. Legend is dangerously close to throttling him, and he has to keep repeating the phrase ‘don’t shoot the messenger’ in his head just to keep his cool. “He and his troop headed to the South-East Lookout about an hour ago.”
“That’s where we started!” cries Wind, losing it completely. “I can’t take it anymore! We’ve been walking for days without a break; we must’ve circled the whole of this Hyrule by now! I have blisters, Time!” he says, rounding on their leader whose one eye twitches like he’s about to explode himself. “My blisters have blisters!”
“Alright,” pacifies Twilight, clearly noticing how close to his limit Time is and steering Wind away by his shoulders. “It won’t be long now; it sounds like we’re finally catching up with him.”
“That’s what you said three forts ago!”
“Sorry,” Four says to the guard who looks noticeably startled at Wind’s behaviour. “We don’t mean any offence, we’re just a bit lacking in sleep.”
Understatement of the century, Legend thinks. Whichever century this may be. Sky looks like he’s ready to fall asleep where he stands.
As they trample back down the cramped, stone staircase and exit the fort to the grassy plains and blue sky beyond, Legend finally speaks up.
“Are you sure this is worth it? Maybe he’s heard we’re here and doesn’t want to see us.”
“We were brought here for a reason,” Time replies wearily, adding with a mutter, “and Goddess forbid we don’t complete whatever mission we’ve been sent on this time.”
And, yeah. That’s definitely something he can relate to.
So, they begin their trek to the South-East Lookout, the place they had been only three days before. Wind complains about his aching legs and his blisters, Sky continues to look ready to collapse, and Wild and Hyrule actually look like they’re quietly enjoying this.
Legend’s mind drifts to his house he left unlocked two weeks ago which Ravio has probably raided. The artefacts he left in his basement are probably being sold, overpriced, on the black market as they speak.
It’s a few hours walking along the wide banks of the river before the fort comes into view, and all other thoughts are gone from his head but of sleep and Wild’s unexpectedly good cooking.
“If he’s not here, you can all go ahead without me,” Legend grumbles as they near the entrance. “I’m done.”
“I second that,” says Sky.
“Excuse me?” Twilight asks the guard on the door, the words worn out from being repeated so many times. “We’re looking for Link? The captain?”
The guard narrows his eyes, looking them up and down.
“You ain’t no Hyrulean soldiers. You’re not fans, are you?”
“Er… fans?” Four asks.
“They’re usually women, but we get the odd man too. Look, I’ll let him know you came to see him, but you gotta understand that Link’s busy. He doesn’t got time for every civilian who wants to meet him, even if they are… dressed like him.”
Din’s fire, who is this guy?!
“We aren’t fans,” he tells the guard impassively. “Increasingly the opposite, in fact, with every minute that passes, so let us in, or—”
“That’s enough, Legend,” says Time, and Legend feels a pang of irritation at being cut off. He still isn’t completely sold on Time being nominated as leader in the first place, but, well, he’s not going to do it.
“It’s important we speak with him,” Time continues to the guard. “It’s possible the fate of Hyrule is at stake.”
The guard considers him for a moment.
“Well, that is his area of expertise,” he says, his tone almost bored. “You promise you ain’t fans?”
“We promise,” Time says, and Legend blames his own tiredness for the amused fondness he hears in his tone.
Reluctantly, the guard steps aside.
“He’s in the war room, ground floor.”
“We appreciate your help,” says Twilight, stepping through the door. Just to counter, Legend gives him a glare for being no help at all.
The lookout tower has an open layout and dull, rounded, stone walls. The war room is fitted with a central, round table around which about twenty people stand looking at a spread of maps in front of them.
It’s excruciatingly obvious which one is Link.
Instead of the uniform that every other soldier in the room is wearing, his outfit is a vexing, bright green. A scarf of deep blue graces his shoulders which Legend can’t help but imagine must be outrageously impractical in battle, not to mention the perfectly styled hair. Who even has time to style their hair while fighting a battle?!
He looks up immediately as they enter, pausing in his speech.
Link?” asks Four.
Link moves his gaze between each of them, lingering ever so slightly longer on Time, then breaks into an obnoxious grin.
“You must be the group who’s been following me the past few days.”
“What?” screeches Wind, his voice echoing in the vast room. “You knew we were trying to reach you and you carried on anyway?!”
“Sorry, Squirt,” Link says, his grin unrelenting (Time gives an amused snort), “we’re tracking a hoard of Moblins, I don’t have time to stop and speak with just anyone.”
“You’re telling me,” mutters Legend, “that we spent days searching, miles walking, and this is the guy we were tailing. I was right, this wasn’t worth it.”
“So, as nice as it is to have guests, do you have a reason for being here?” Warriors asks. “Because as you can see, we’re a little busy.”
Time steps forward.
“We’ve travelled between eras to reach you. We have reason to believe the very worlds themselves are in danger.”
“Ah,” says Warriors, his smile finally faltering, if only slightly. “Yeah, that would do it.”
CW: (temporary) major character death, injuries, generically bad times
After a battle gone horribly wrong, Legend sees Time trying to play a song on his ocarina. When the Old Man cannot complete it Legend, reasoning it must have been important, takes the instrument and plays it in his stead.
And keeps playing it, for as long as it takes.
The fight begins as it means to continue - out of the blue and with an arrow piercing through Wild’s throat. Hyrule and Warriors fall to their knees beside the Champion while everyone else draws their weapons, exhausted and drawn from days on the road and weeks of battling every other step.
They need a break; Legend zones out the panicking voices, doing his best to trust his brothers. It is a mistake, or maybe it isn’t; there’s a yell, and he turns to see Sky’s body torn open, his guts spread across the ground.
It somehow gets worse from there on.
Even with all of his experience Legend cannot keep the group together, cannot even keep a single brother at his side. No matter how much he screams and yells and curses, no matter what items he uses or things he does, still the voices fall silent one by one.
Hyrule is cur off in the middle of a healing spell. It is four of Four’s voice that scream and fall silent - or maybe that is the head wound Legend has taken, throwing him to one side just in time to see Wind tossed to the ground and crushed by some giant moblin.
Bones snap, and so do a great many other things.
Still Legend fights, in the hopes someone is just unconscious, in the hopes he is wrong.
He has never been wrong before; he is not wrong this time, either.
Somehow he fights back most of the attack, earning himself a moment’s reprieved. Some of the bodies he can identify, others he only knows they are brothers for they are Hylian in form. He counts seven bodies, and finds a still living Time just as another wave of monsters approaches.
Blank-eyed, Time is fingering an old, blue ocarina. Despite his uneven, shot eyes, Time manages to bring it to his lips, and play a series of notes.
A, D, F, A, D,
An axe embeds itself in Time’s throat, ripping his head from his body and splattering Legend with his eldest brother’s blood.
The monster who threw it draws another from nowhere, and takes aim at Legend this time.
Legend takes the Ocarina from Time’s dead fingers, and runs. He wipes the blood from the instrument and dares not look behind him; whatever the song was, whatever it was it was important enough that Time had sacrificed himself to try play it. What would the next note be? How would the song go?
Long ago, Legend played the ocarina. Once... upon... a dream...
He places the instrument to his lips, ugly wounds and fast pace making it hard to play. Still, somehow, he finds the breath.
A, D, F
A, D
F
An arrows flies for Legend’s throat. Reality warps, and pulls him away.
---
Legend finds himself thrown into his body, causing him to stumble. He stares in surprise to see the Ocarina still in his hand, but it is perhaps useful so he will not question it.
An arrow flies out of the woods, and pierces Wild’s throat. The Champion falls, and Hyrule and Warriors rush to his side. There is a glow of magic that Legend can only stare at as his other brothers rush into action.
Time falls second, this time, baked alive in his armour by a lizfalos dowsing his armour in flames.
Warriors yells at Legend to pull himself together. Already it is too late. With some idea of the purpose of the song now - and fucking Hylia, that was a secret that Time had been keeping - Legend brings it to his lips, and plays once again.
This time, this time, he will save them.
---
Wild is to Legend’s left.
As soon as he has settled back into his body, he dives that way, breaking Wild’s shoulder but saving him from the arrow. He’s yelled at, asked what he is doing, but he grabs his weapons and runs into the woods, intent on finding the monsters before they can find them, and destroying those fuckers once and for all.
He hunts, and he wins, and he returns to a pile of eight corpses just an inch closer to him through the woods.
Legend falls to his knees, and he screams.
And once he is done screaming, he snatches up the Ocarina, and plays those same six notes once again.
---
The next loop, Legend stays close. Wind dies first, cut in half by the same axe that killed Time in the first. Legend does not even wait before he pulls out the Ocarina, and throws himself back in time to his brother’s screams.
The next loop, Four is possessed and Sky forced to cut him down. Legend looks away from the blood, and plays the notes again.
The next loop, Legend himself is cut through the heart. In the few moment he has he plays six notes on trembling hands; the scar remains, even where the injury does not.
The next loop, Hyrule burns his soul in magic to protect Warriors, who falls all the same.
The next loop, there is a bomb, and Legend does not even wait to see who screamed before he is playing again.
The next loop, Twilight is thrown against a rock and his next twists one-and-twenty degrees. Time is barely screaming before Legend is playing again.
The next loop, it is Sky burnt to a husk.
The next loop, he cannot tell who falls for the states of their bodies.
The next loop, exhaustion wins and the battle once more begins with Wild shot through the throat.
The next loop, Legend forgets.
The next loop, Legend wishes he did not remember.
The next loop, Legend passes out from exhaustion as soon as he arrives, and wakes to find himself surrounded by the corpses of his brothers.
The next loop, the next loop, the next loop...
Another loop, another loop, another loop, another loop, another loop, another loop...
And then, and then, and then, a multi-facetted voice that sounds as he always imagined the sacred three to sound echoes in his mind.
“Sweet hero,” the echoing three whisper. “Dearest hero, why do you continue to fight? Why do you continue to fight, when it cannot be won? Is not surviving enough? Is not victory enough?”
He tells the voice to piss off, that he /will/ save his brothers, he will, he will, he /must/ and he /will/.
Be they delusions or gods, he will defy them either way.
He brings the Ocarina to his lips, and plays again.
Before he has even fully landed in his body, he leaps to the side, knocking Wild from Epona and onto the ground. The arrow whistles by, he yells out the attack, yells out the poison, and pulls everyone into line.
It is rote now, these first few moments. A thousand times he has performed the actions, if needs be he shall do them a thousand more. He leaves Time to take a heavy blow to save Twilight from the tree, only to whip around and pull Sky from the flames. He yells out the poe’s presence before it even appears, and calls Hyrule over to handle the enemies of his own time - ones no other Link has, in the hundreds of cycles Legend has lived, quite known how to cut down. He darts across the battlefield to the left and the right, covering every single threat that he knows.
Still Legend fails.
Even with backup, Hyrule cannot keep all of those monsters at bay. Just like Time in the first cycle, a thrown axe slices through his throat and continues on its way.
The scream Legend gives is one of years of living through this, of these moments again and again. Something in him, something cracked and broken, shatters, he screams himself raw and then takes up Time’s ocarina and plays those notes again.
He cannot, cannot, will not fail.
A, D, F, A, D, F
The world twists and turns and breaks once more.
---
Again and again and again he tries, the voices in his mind still asking him why. But he must, and he will, and Link refuses to lose again. Determination has given way to panic, plans to instinct, and still he fails just the same as before. Again and again and again and again and again and yet still he refuses to break.
He refuses to break until finally, finally, finally he cuts down the last monster and turns and... And everyone is there.
Twilight is sporting a bleeding head wound, but he is grinning at Time. Hyrule is pale and slumped against a bleeding Warriors, but Warriors is kicking the burnt out husk of some abomination while Hyrule breathlessly, manically giggles from the stress. Wind is slitting the throats of anything vaguely intact, and Sky is wrapping a bandage around the arm of one of Four’s parts. The other three are fussing over each other, while Wild hops down from a tree and swings his bow away.
Unbelieving, Legend looks around. It’s never this fucking easy, its never like this, he isn’t supposed to win, he isn’t supposed to save people - no matter what he does.
Looking down... Looking down his fingers are bleeding, blisters on his fingers where they pressed against the ocarina’s holes, burst and cascading blood to the floor. Scars of so many near deaths coat his body, and something cold passes through him.
He hears the screams of his name before he realises he is falling, slumping to his knees as the full-body shudders grow too much. Moments later he’s pulled against someone’s chest, but he has lost all understanding of who. Someone else is checking his pulse, and hands all over are checking him for injuries in a blur he does not understand, but that feels so much warmer than his soul.
No tears come, nothing like that at all, not at first at least; one of the hands dislodges the Ocarina from his grip, and it lands by Time’s knees.
Time, whose face falls on seeing it, covered in blood, and pales himself.
“How long?” he whispers, eyes haunted as he looks at Legend. “Veteran, how long has it been?”
Legend does not know, he does not remember, he lost count some time very long ago. All he can do is shake as his family - his family, his family, /alive/ and /here/ - holds him close. Shake his body and shake his head, and half hear someone mention a nearby great fairy fountain where their injuries can be seen to.
Strong arms pick Legend up, and as everyone gather tight and cautious and around, he turns his eyes into the neck of whichever brother has taken him, and tries to banish the smells of fire and flesh and blood, at least until the great fairy is reached and, with a gentle hand, brushes Legend to sleep and the memory for a moment away.
‘Time is exhausted and finally falls asleep. Everyone is running in circles to make sure he gets to stay asleep’
I crown you queen of writing prompts, Latte, the ones you gave me were all marvellous! I might put a couple of the others on the back-burner for another time, but this one was my favourite :)) Thanks so much!
“SHHHH!”
Sky and Four stop both mid-stride and mid-conversation at Warriors’ less than warm welcome into camp.
“What?” Four whispers, a little affronted.
Warriors widens his eyes expressly and gestures to a person shaped lump on the ground under what seems like every blanket they collectively own. Four’s irritation fades as he spots a tuft of sandy-blond hair poking out of the top.
“Time’s finally asleep?” Sky whispers.
“He conked out about half an hour ago,” says Hyrule in a low voice as Sky and Four walk past him to deposit the logs they had collected for the fire. Four lets out a relieved breath.
“Thank the Goddesses.”
Time‘s insomnia had gotten so bad over the past few days that the eight of him had taken to walking subtly close behind him lest he collapse in the middle of the path. Legend had even started talking about slipping him a sleeping potion without his knowledge. They are all very thankful they won’t have to take that particular route now he’s finally asleep; who knows what he would have done when he found out.
Wind watches him worriedly.
“Do you think he’ll sleep through the night?”
“Not if you don’t manage to lower your voice,” Legend hisses indignantly.
“I am lowering my voice!” he argues, to which several people tell him to “Shhh!”
“No offence, Sailor,” whispers Wild, who is in the process of adding various spices to the cooking pot, “but you haven’t exactly mastered the art of volume control. Maybe you should just… not speak for a little while.”
Wind’s eyes go as wide as saucers.
“What?!”
Another round of “Shhh”-ing.
“You can’t just tell me to not speak, Wild,” he says, ever so slightly quieter. Legend shoots a nervous look at Time who seems not to have stirred in the slightest. “It’s rude. And impossible!”
Wild shrugs and throws some beans into the pot.
“Sorry. I didn’t think it was that big a deal.”
“Not everyone’s like you, Cub,” Twilight says in an undertone. “I bet Wind couldn’t go an hour without making some kind of noise.”
“Hey, that’s not true!”
“Really?” Twilight grins. “Prove it, then.”
Wind narrows his eyes.
“Oh, I see what you’re doing. As if I’m going to fall for—”
“Ah, ah. All I hear is you demonstrating my point,” Twilight interrupts. Wind scowls and opens his mouth to retort, then pauses. Visibly coming to the sudden, internal realisation that he has no way of winning, he wrinkles his nose, crosses his arms and sits back on the log behind him, mouth set in a straight line. Wild stifles a snigger.
The quiet that follows is a peaceful one. Nothing but the sizzling of the cooking pot, the steady hollow sound of Sky’s knife against his wooden carving block, and the muted rustle of Hyrule and Legend sorting through their belongings on either end of the camp. It’s almost enough to send some of the rest of them into a sleepy daze.
Unfortunately, the peace lasts all of five minutes before a loud CLANG rings out across the camp. Everyone freezes and snaps their heads round to look at Time who luckily, and perhaps a little miraculously, still seems to be fast asleep.
“Sorry!” Wild whispers, shoulders hunched sheepishly as he holds his ladle with a strong grip. He must have knocked it against the side of the cooking pot.
“Goddess Almighty, you would’ve thought a group of seasoned heroes like us would be able to stay quiet for more than a few minutes,” mumbles Twilight.
They make it approximately two minutes this time before there’s a sound like cracking glass. It probably wouldn’t have been too loud on its own, except Legend immediately lets out a vehement string of swear words.
“Vet!” Warriors hisses reprovingly, and once again, everybody turns to check on Time. They collectively relax when he remains still and quiet.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Legend whispers guiltily. “My ice-rod went off in my bag.”
His hand emerges from his satchel holding a large chunk of ice with what seems to be half his belongings encased within. Warriors barely represses a snort.
“I thought you were supposed to be the Veteran. That’s the most rookie mistake I’ve seen any of us make.”
“You say that like I wasn’t rehemming your tunic last night after you singed it with the fire-rod,” Legend says coolly. Warriors turns slightly pink.
“For the love of Ordona!” Twilight hisses. “Would everyone please shut u—”
An explosion sounds from near the cooking pot. The effect is instantaneous; half of them scramble to draw their swords and the other half practically fall off their makeshift seats, frantically trying to find where the explosion came from.
It doesn’t take long for them to notice Hyrule, hair smoking, the lines and creases of his face blackened with soot, sitting stock still in front of a small, smouldering crater in the ground. His expression is fixed somewhere between astonishment and utter mortification.
“Whoops,” he says quietly, as if whispering will do anything at this point.
“What did you do?!” hisses Legend, eyes practically bulging.
“I thought that bomb was a dud,” he replies hesitantly. Then adds, “Turns out it wasn’t, though.”
“Yeah, I think we all got that!”
A tired groan comes from Time’s pile of blankets and everyone audibly holds their breath as he shifts to lie on his back.
“Time?” Warriors asks softly. “Are you awake?”
“Yes,” Time says wearily, muffled by the layers on top of him. Twilight buries his head in his hands and Wind silently glares at Hyrule who looks extremely guilty.
Warriors sighs resignedly.
“…You’ve been awake this whole time, haven’t you?”
Silver darling dearest this is me officially asking/begging you to let Sky and Warriors gang up on the others and tease the everloving daylights out of them in knighthood solidarity and bonding over both of them being total bisexual disasters. If you wanted to. Or you could rant about them. I would love to hear your thoughts. <3
[Your wish is my command ^u^ Let’s take it from the top! This took a lot longer than I thought it would and it’s over 3k?! I’m not even sure how that happened, but enjoy ^u^]
Here’s the first one
Warning(s): This is shippy and mostly fluffy. That’s about it. The ships are Mavioli plus Ralph, ShadLink, Sidlink and past Revalink and Miphlink, Four x Shadow, and then Time x Malon. But there are several other crushes mentioned and also polyamory.
They had stayed in the village for a day or so, and the thought of embarrassing their fellow heroes over who they liked was still lingering in the backs of Sky and Warriors’ minds. It was tempting to just spring the question on one of the others, but as fun as that would be, they would only want to do it with just the two of them and their potential victim.
Legend just so happened to be all by himself at camp, settled under a tree with a scrap of paper in his lap. Perfect.
“Hey dumbass, what are you doing?”
“None of your business dipshit. Now, what do you want?”
“Funny you should ask my little pink friend,” Warriors smirked, sitting next to the Veteran hero and getting as close as possible, “Who are you writing to? Someone at home missing their salty snarky hero?”
“Oh, fuck off,” he replied, shoving the Captain away.
“No, come on, I’m curious. Who has captured the heart of our resident grump?”
He heard mumbling, too quiet to properly decipher, but it had to have been a confession. Sky approached then, a soft yet mischievous smile on his face.
“Someone has to have caught your interest, yes? Is it, perhaps, the one that we saw the last time we visited your home?”
Legend’s face erupted in a blush, but he kept his eyes on his paper, not looking at either hero. Warriors smiled.
“Was the guess correct then?”
“Fine you assholes! Yes, Ravio is my partner! Happy?”
He pouted, and it was adorable, but Sky had a feeling there was more to the story.
“You sound truthful, but I believe I see more than just one letter in your hand. Care to share who the rest are for?”
Legend buried his face in his hands, curses flying from under his breath. Warriors was laughing at the response, Sky joining him and sitting on the other side of the flustered veteran, jostling him slightly.
“Both of you are terrible,” he sighed, but spread out the four papers he had been writing on.
One of them had already been finished, Zelda’s name at the very top. The second had only been partially written and addressed to someone named Ralph. The last two were still blank, but Warriors snatched them anyway much to Legend’s annoyance.
“Give those back you dick!”
“Maybe if you tell us who your partners are, it’s obvious by the number of letters that you have more than one. So, who is this Ralph fellow?”
Legend groaned, leaning back and staring up at the clouds with an annoyed face.
“He’s someone I met on my adventures that just so happened to catch my interest, okay? He’s a big jerk, but he’s enjoyable to be around.”
“Sounds like someone else I know,” Warriors eyed Sky, smirking.
The hero rolled his eyes in response.
“What about the other two? I know Fable is your sister, but the other two are still blank.”
Legend covered his face with a silent scream, the two tormentors laughing at his expense. Sky started poking his arm, almost begging him to start talking.
“Fuckin’ Ravio ‘n Marin.”
“Aw, cute. I hope we get the chance to meet them someday and hopefully get the chance to tease you more.”
Warriors cackled, Legend taking a swipe at him and causing the taller hero to drop the paper. Sky got to his feet, pulling Warriors up and away from the now embarrassed and irritable veteran hero.
-
The next chance they got was on the road, wandering along a set path towards an unknown destination. Twilight was near the back of the group, leading Epona along by her reins while looking lost in thought, a small smile on his face. Sky eyed Twi from a few feet in front, Warriors nudging him to enact their plan. Sky nodded, slowing down enough to walk next to the ranch hand.
“Hey, how are you holding up back here?”
“Hm? ’m doin’ alright, why do you ask?”
“You just looked lost in thought. What were you thinking about?”
At this Twilight sighed a fond smile on his face.
“Just the person that I know I’ll be goin’ home to.”
“Oh? And who would that be if you don’t mind me asking?”
Twilight’s smile grew, a light blush dusting his cheeks. Epona took that moment to bump her head against Twilight’s with a huff. Sky chuckled, Twilight looking annoyed yet fond as he turned to Epona, patting her on the nose.
“Someone I met during my adventure, but we didn’t really interact much until after.”
“Will we ever meet the person who stole your heart?” Sky asked with a smile, Twilight blushing profusely.
“I’ll tell ya what, Sky,” Twilight smiled, turning to face the other, “if we ever find ourselves in my era’s castle town, I’ll take ya to meet my partner. If I know him well, and I hope I do after two years of being together, I think he’ll want to talk to you and ask a bunch of questions.”
“Oh? About what?”
“He’s a researcher, completely enamored and fascinated by the sky people, which are a tribe that lives in the sky. I’ve been up there a few times myself.”
“Was it-”
“No, it wasn’t Skyloft,” he looked apologetic, “But it is pretty cool up there, a whole city made up of this race of people I never even knew about.”
“You’ll have to show me one day, I’d love to see it,” Sky smiled, Twilight grinning in return.
--
Warriors was only slightly annoyed that he missed the chance to tease Twilight about his partner. Only slightly though. So, of course, he decided to go and bother a different member of their group by himself. Wind just so happened to be the closest at the time.
“Hey there, Sailor,” he laughed, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and digging his other hand into a fist, messing up the golden locks.
“Oi, knock it off ya jerk!” Wind yelled, laughing as he threw Warriors off of him, ducking below another attempt at a grab, and launching himself onto Warriors’ back with a triumphant yell.
“Payback time, bitch!”
Wind proceeded to return the favor, Warriors laughing and running around trying to dislodge the other hero from his back. He could see Time watching them fondly, a hint of mischief in his gaze. Eventually, they both tired out, collapsing in a heap on the ground panting and laughing. As the laughter petered out, Warriors leaned on his elbow, face in his hand looking at Wind as the sailor laid on his back.
“I’m curious about something, Sailor.”
“Oh? About what?” Wind asked, craning his neck to look the other in the eyes.
“D’you have anyone waiting for you at home?”
“I mean,” Wind scrunched his face in thought, “there’s grandma an’ Aryll an’ Tetra an’ her crew. Is that what you mean?”
Wars shrugged.
“Sort of. I meant more like,” Warriors leaned over Wind more, blocking the sun with his shadow, “anyone stolen your heart while you were traveling around?”
Wind made a gagging noise, rolling away from Warriors only to sit up and push the Captain over onto his back.
“No way! That’s gross!”
Warriors laughed.
“So the fair pirate captain hasn’t stolen your greatest treasure yet?”
Wind made another gagging noise, covering Warriors’ mouth with both hands and sitting on his chest.
“Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!”
The muffled laughter eventually was contagious enough to get Wind to relent and laugh a bit himself. There wasn’t much else to tease about, Warriors only knew the bare minimum about the young sailors travels from the hero himself. Anyone he met during the War of Ages from the sailor’s era never talked about their Hero of Winds enough for him to make any connections either. So Wars surrendered, rolling to get Wind off of him and maybe crushing the sailor a bit with his body for good measure. He only laughed as they started to wrestle in the grass again until Time called for them to hurry up.
---
Hyrule they asked during his watchshift, knowing the traveler hero was less likely to say anything when everyone’s eyes were focused on him. When the Traveler was settled next to the fire, peering out at the quiet peaceful night blanketing them all, Sky got up. He made sure to make some noise so as to not startle the other hero, bumping Warriors with his foot as he walked toward Hyrule.
“Hey Traveler,” Sky spoke, Hyrule humming in acknowledgement, “mind if I sit with you?”
“Go ahead, but shouldn’t you be asleep?”
Sky shrugged, taking a seat on the log next to Hyrule. He sighed as he sat down, feeling the heat of the fire on his skin that wasn’t covered by his nightclothes.
“So, what’s up? I’m sure you didn’t pry yourself out of your blankets and bedroll for no reason.”
Sky chuckled.
“You got me. I was merely curious about something.”
“May as well say it, then and hope I have an answer for you.”
“About your adventure, do you have anyone waiting for you once this is over?”
“How do you mean?”
“Romantically, if you don’t mind,” Warriors spoke up, causing both heroes to flinch in response.
Sky leveled a tired glare at him, the Captain smirking in lieu of a response. He could hear Hyrule shifting uncomfortably next to him over the quiet crackling of the fire.
“You don’t have to respond if the question makes you uncomfortable. We won’t push you for an answer,” Sky spoke softly, hoping that Hyrule would be at least somewhat less anxious.
“I, uh, I don’t mind answering it’s just,” Hyrule paused, sighing and running a hand through his hair, “it’s hard to explain I guess.”
Sky watched as Hyrule gathered his thoughts, Warriors got up and sat near the log they were seated on.
“Take as long as you need, traveler,” Warriors spoke, a small smile making its way onto Hyrule’s face.
“I guess… technically my Zeldas are waiting for me back home, but we don’t like each other in that way. Romantically I mean,” Hyrule explained, his hands waving around distractedly as he spoke, “It’s like… we enjoy spending time together, and we want to see each other be happy. I don’t really live at the castle, but I always have a place to stay there if I want to. But I don’t really want or care to have any sort of romantic relationship… it just isn’t appealing to me I guess.”
Warriors nodded, humming to himself as he stood back up. Sky watched him as he brushed imaginary dirt from his sleep pants.
“I’ve heard of that before,” Warriors said, smiling softly at Hyrule, “and I’m glad that you’re happy where you’re at regardless of romantic attraction.”
Hyrule nervously chuckled, scratching the back of his neck.
“Thanks Captain, I appreciate it.”
With that done, there was no real reason to stay up, so Warriors retreated back to his bedroll. Sky soon followed, after hugging Hyrule tightly and wishing him a good watch shift.
----
Warriors slung his arm around Wild’s shoulders, startling him from his thoughts as they were all walking aimlessly as a group. Wild looked over quizzically, Wars grinning at him. Sky then appeared at Wild’s other side, waving.
“What are you two up to?” Wild asked, raising an eyebrow as he looked between the two heroes.
“Well, my heroic friend,” Warriors began, pulling him closer, “We were just talking about your era and wondering who you’ve got waiting for you in that house you always talk about owning.”
Wild looked confused for a moment, looking to Sky.
“He means if you have anyone that you like back in your era.”
Wild nodded, understanding the question now. He thought for a moment, closing his eyes and letting Warriors’ arm lead him to keep up with the rest of the group. He opened his eyes then, looking sheepish.
“Well, uh, where do I even start?” Wild asked, causing Sky and Wars to look at each other in confused surprise, “There’s Sidon, Paya, Lasli, Aliza, Guy, Fyson, I have a thing with Aji, and there’s Bazz, Gaddison, and Rivan. And from what little memory I got back, I think I had a thing with Mipha and Revali.”
Warriors and Sky were slack-jawed at Wild’s answer. So many people, much more than they had expected. Warriors had pulled his arm off of Wild’s shoulders and was tempted to reach over and make sure this was real, but he stopped himself from doing something stupid.
“A-And you’re romantically involved with all of these people?” Sky’s voice was higher than normal as he asked.
“Oh, just romantically involved? Or just overall involved? Cuz overall that’s probably all of them, but for just like devoted to them? I think I was with Mipha and Revali, but I’m now mostly devoted to Sidon in that way. But uh, we’re all in agreement with an open relationship, just, ya know, communication is important.”
Wild shrugged. Seeming unbothered by the shocked expressions from both of his companions.
“O-oh, okay. That makes more sense,” Warriors said, Sky elbowed him in the side at his stutter.
“I’m glad that you’re happy with all these people,” Wars smiled, slinging an arm around Wild’s shoulders once again.
Sky chuckled.
“Yes, I’m also happy for you Wild.”
-----
“My romance life? Really?”
Four sighed at the two heroes looking at him expectantly. He mumbled something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like ‘these idiots I swear’.
“Fine. I’ll tell you my love life if you’re so determined to find out.”
Four leaned back against the tree he had been sitting under, looking up at the branches for a moment. Sky and Warriors sat in front of him, Warriors looking quite excited to find out all the details. Sky just chuckled at the other’s antics then faced Four fully.
“I know that at one point I had what I thought was a crush on this girl I met on my third quest, but turns out I just wanted to be friends with her. Dot ended up being the one to date her,” Four laughed, shaking his head, then looked at the two eager heroes, “I’ve only ever had one partner and I don’t think I need more than him in my life. His name is Shadow and he’s a shit, but I love him.”
“Shadow, huh?” Warriors questioned, eyebrow raised with a smirk on his face, “So you’re into the bad boy type, the hard to get type.”
“About to be the ‘punch you in the face’ type.”
The sudden voice startled the two heroes as a newcomer appeared from around the back of the tree, looking very similar to Four if not for the dark purple hair, crimson eyes, and sharp toothed grin. Four sighed loudly, leaning against the tree again.
“Do you have to be so dramatic?”
“You love it, don’t even pretend otherwise.”
Warriors and Sky stared, slack-jawed at the new person who just appeared from seemingly thin-air. Sky caught Wars starting to reach for the knife in his boot and elbowed him. Hard. Warriors rubbed his side, a wounded look on his face when he shot Sky a look.
“So this is Shadow?”
Four nodded, sighing.
“Unfortunately.”
“Oh c’mon Rainbow, don’t be like that,” Shadow cried, dropping in front of Four and pouting up at him.
Four laughed, shaking his head and patting Shadow’s head. Sky smiled at the two, watching as they moved to sit next to each other, leaning on each other contentedly.
“You both seem happy,” Sky spoke.
“After everything, I think it’s only fair,” Four replied, grasping Shadow’s hand with a small smile.
He never elaborated, but Sky figured it was a private matter and nodded to Wars that they should leave the two be. As the two heroes left, Sky saw Shadow kiss the back of Four’s hand before he disappeared once again, but Four seemed happy rather than upset. That was all that Sky wanted for his companions.
------
“We already know the Old Man’s love life, Wars, do we really have to ask him?”
“Oh, c’mon Sky, you and I both know that there’s more to this story.”
Warriors was practically dragging Sky along up the path toward where Time was standing against a tree. He was watching them, smirking at their antics as they got closer. Sky was tempted to dig in his heels, just to make Wars fall and hopefully abandon the plan, but deep down he would admit that he was curious too. So he kept walking until they were face to face with Time.
“Okay, spill it Old Man,” Warriors started, hands on his hips, “You were young once and I know for a fact that you’ve got some other people who were on your radar in the past.”
“Ah, is that what this is about?” he asked, shaking his head with amusement, “Young heroes with nothing better to do than to pry into an old man’s history, eh?”
“If you don’t start talking, then I can start embarrassing you in front of everyone else in our party,” Warriors looked smug, Time’s face falling from amused to resigned.
“Fine you dumbass,” Time rolled his eye, sighing heavily, “There were a few when I was younger. Back during my first adventure, I accidentally got engaged to a Zora princess and-”
“I’m sorry, but how do you accidentally get engaged?” Sky asked, brow furrowed as he tried to figure out the answer to his question.
“You know, saving her from a monster. Regular hero stuff,” Time shrugged, “but anyway. Later on, I met Sheik and well…”
Time trailed off, looking away from the two heroes with a slight pink tint to his cheeks. Wars was smirking while Sky smiled at the sight.
“I knew it!” Wars yelled, poking Time in the chest, “You can’t hide anything from me ya lil shit! When you first met Sheik in my era all those years ago, I knew something was up! You couldn’t even look at ‘em!”
Time hid his face in his hands, the tips of his ears starting to turn red from the onslaught. Sky giggled, shaking his head.
“Look, okay, they were really cool and mysterious and I was young and dumb. I dunno what you want me to say.”
Warriors and Sky both laughed at the admission, causing Time to crumple to the ground and sit against the tree, face still hidden behind his hands. When they had recovered from the laughter, Sky knelt on the ground, sitting on his legs and facing Time.
“That’s not the end of this tale, is it.”
Time shook his head, finally removing his hands and showing off his pink embarrassed cheeks.
“Zelda too. She just seemed so strong and amazing, I wanted to get to know her better, but things happened and then I felt like I couldn’t talk to her that way anymore.”
“That part I didn’t know,” Warriors stated, moving to sit next to Time with his back against the tree. He put an arm around Time’s shoulders and brought him close in a small hug.
“I’m sorry that happened to you.”
“It’s in the past,” Time said, a small smile on his face that wasn’t quite happy, “besides, I’m sure you have some ideas about the other ones.”
Warriors’ kind smile turned positively gleeful, his eyes lighting up as he retracted his hand from Time’s should to clap them together. Sky smiled too, the excitement of the captain positively infectious. Time shook his head.
“I ended up in the War of Eras sometime after the first fight with Cia I believe. I met quite a few people and yes, some of them I thought about getting closer to.”
“I think I met your Sheik and Impa first, Captain, if you don’t count Darunia and Ruto. I thought the same thing about your Sheik as I did my own, but it was obvious that they were not interested. Impa was pretty, but intimidating enough that my crush ended quite quickly.”
“Glad you didn’t act on your crush on Impa, cuz I would’ve fought you for her,” Warriors laughed, knocking a shoulder into Time’s shoulder, earning a chuckle.
“I was about to say,” Sky giggled.
“Anyway, I met Agitha and Midna next. I’ll admit, I thought that Agitha was cute and that her bugs were fascinating, but we never interacted much beyond that. And that’s the extent of my crushes when I was there.”
“Ah, I forgot that you didn’t meet the rest of the travelers after that,” Wars nodded, “I was gonna say that I thought you’d have crushes on Tetra and Marin, and potentially Ravio and Medli.”
“Ah, we’ve met them while together,” Time looked thoughtful, “I think you’d be right about some of them.”
“Oh?”
Time didn’t respond, getting up and starting to walk away. Warriors and Sky joined him, following behind him and waiting for an answer, only to see Time smiling at them both.
“I’m afraid that this is the end of our little chat,” Time laughed, breaking into a run.
Warriors tried to call after him, but there was no response. And he wouldn’t respond to any further prodding no matter how much the two heroes tried.
-------
Sky sighed, sitting next to Warriors on the log they had rolled over near the fire. The group had finally stopped for the night and he figured that now was the time to talk since everyone else was asleep.
“Successful prodding for information, hm?” Sky asked, leaning on a hand propped up by his knee. Warriors nodded.
“Legend has Ravio, Ralph, Marin. Twilight has Shad. Wind doesn’t seem interested in anyone at the moment. Hyrule also isn’t interested in anyone. Wild has several but is with Sidon. Four has Shadow. Time has Malon, which we both knew, but it was fun to poke at him a bit.”
“Heh, yeah that was pretty fun,” Sky leaned back, now propping himself up with his arms behind him, “What do we do with this newfound knowledge, Captain?”
At this, Warriors turned to face him, eyes alight with mischief.
“Why, my dear Chosen Hero, we tease them of course.”
