#m:wanda

[starker-asks]

i’m so glad everything is okay and i really hope you are both able to relax and enjoy your quarantine together after all of this! in the meantime, i’ll ask some fun questions!! if you had to pick three avengers (other than yourselves) to be quarantined with, who would they be?

Bruce, Natasha, and Thor, easy.

Apologies to Steve, but I know from personal experience that things will go smoother if we’re not confined together indefinitely.

And I’d say Thor, Bruce, and... Wanda? Maybe?

I don’t even know what kind of criteria I’m using.

[starker-asks]

so how did everything go down?

FRIDAY put the house in lockdown after Beck got back, just like I told her to. I always thought he was crazy, but Tony’s got this system in place, so that I can override his commands, if I have to. His well-being used to be FRIDAY’s top priority, but he “made some adjustments” he said, and now his safety’s only fifth on the list...

I asked Mr. Barton to bring his wonder twins over to deal with him, after I left. I figured it’d be good having someone who could do illusions on our side too. And, uh- then I called Romanoff to help me on the rescue part of the mission because she’s stealthy, smart, and I don’t think anyone could trick her.

[starker-asks]

who's the hotties at the party?

Oh my god, where do I even start?

Mr. Thor, Sir, if you see this, hi. Lemme pull your hair.

Mr. Barton, if you could just, you know... ask the scary twins to dom me, that’d be super cool. Actually, if you could ask Natasha too, that’d be even better.

And again... Thor. How are you? Wanna fuck?

Captain Marvel, I mean, just unbelievable, am I right?

M’Baku... Agent Ross... Thor.

And Bruce! We could make another sex tape!!

Baby, love, stop talking. You’re going to hate yourself in the morning.

[starker-asks]

Also could we get a rundown of who knows about the babies and their reactions?? 🙏🙏🙏

Alright, let’s see…

Thor didn’t see the big deal about someone like me dating someone like Peter, but congratulated us on the babies.

According to Barton, he should have figured I’d try an’ one up his own two young and sexy wonder twins with one even younger baby momma and our own set of twins on the way.

Nat sort of just shrugged with that smile of hers and said I told her everything I needed to five years ago. Bruce said something else along those lines, but that was probably because I actually told him five years ago, drunk- in the lab. Couldn’t remember much of his reaction, if I’m being honest.

And Steve… well. Apparently he already knew we were dating. A little birdie stopped by his blog and spilled those beans already.

The pregnancy though, now that was a surprise. Not quite as big of a surprise as the ent and raccoon, but… still something.

[starker-asks]

Anyway in a world where hawkeye has snagged both of the sokovia wonder twins, two demigods who just so happen to be brothers are boning six ways to sunday, and mister captain steve rogers is getting it on with his long lost homicidal lover, how’s it feel to still be the hottest couple?

Pretty sure that demigod part is all just speculation, but then again, who am I to speculate when everything else you said is just so true?