When you start making healthy decisions one by one your demons fade to the background.
Everything is arranged in order until there's one thing doesn't match, and it stands out..
You try to act blind, like you can't see through the haze.
But truth is day by day it's becoming more overwhelming to blend the truth the lies.
It doesn't matter;
how you frame your reality,
how you count your blessings
or how many times you realize that you can go home safely.
This feeling of worthlessness won't leave you.
The pattern of victim blaming and repetitive guilt will not go away.
There's so many variables to keep at bay, all the while keeping your smile on
Then it hits you
At the speed of light, your heart seems to skip a beat, your breathing turns shallow, your eyes won't close.
You're leaving dissociation city, welcome back to PTSD.