Completely shocking, out-of-the-blue prompt that I've never mentioned to you before, definitely not inspired by work:
Ivan is a grumpy librarian/archivist, and Fedyor is a researcher who comes by looking for information on Darklina and/or their connection to Nikolai, and he finds the background of a love story. Obviously, the main character is Ivan's Disgust at the Perception of Heterosexuality
The light in the windowless back office is dim, grainy, and often gives Ivan a headache within the first few hours of him getting to work, which is not ideal for improving his temper. (Then again, not much is.) And despite its flaws, he does vastly prefer it to actually having to interact with the library patrons, as there is literally nothing worse than that. Especially academics, who come in with their laundry lists and their obscure texts, their pet projects and their insistence that if he just looks harder, he's sure to find it this time. Ivan has entertained many, many happy visions of just walking out, locking the doors behind him, and setting the whole thing on fire. Not that he has done that, and he probably -- probably -- wouldn't. He needs this job. Employment for a notorious ex-special ops soldier is thin on the ground as it is, and especially when it means he can, if he plays his cards right, spend most of the day completely alone. But still.
It is now, however, winter break at Os Alta Imperial State University, which means the throngs of panicked students trying to finish their last-minute assignment have mercifully receded, and Ivan can mostly organize his boxes in peace. Or so he thinks, until the accursed tinkle of the Please Ring for Service bell summons him like a wrathful specter, sweater-clad and glowering, to the front desk. "What?!"
"Uh. Good morning to you too." The newcomer -- young, dark-haired, and holding a large manila folder which portends absolutely nothing good, raises both eyebrows. "Can I speak to the archivist?"
"You're speaking to him," Ivan growls. This welcome has caused more than one quaking undergraduate to flee in abject terror rather than ask for even one book, and he fondly hopes for a similar effect this time. But the newcomer -- too old for an undergrad, so probably an advanced doctoral candidate or junior lecturer -- is made of stronger stuff, and doesn't flinch. "Can I help you, Mr... ?"
"Doctor," the annoyingly handsome interloper (not that Ivan has noticed) informs him. "Dr. Fedyor Kaminsky. I'm the new lecturer in the history department, Modern Ravkan History, and I was hoping that you could retrieve a few records for me? Boxes..." He consults his notes. Ivan contemplates murder. "T-1343 and T-1345 especially?"
Oh, great. Not again. Kaminsky -- yes, he vaguely recalls that name, from a department telegram welcoming the new faculty and staff, but it is absolutely not germane to Ivan's further actions in any part. He knows what is in those boxes, and someone always thinks they'll find something there that hasn't already been found, removed, and/or heavily censored. Ravka's last tsar and tsaritsa, Nikolai Lantsov and his half-Shu queen, Alina Starkov, are a figure of fascination and mystery for plenty of people, even after the revolution and the establishment of the Konsilium and everything that befell them as a result. Especially their relationship with the so-called Darkling, Aleksander Morozova, one of the most enigmatic and controversial figures in all of Ravkan history. Doctor Fedyor Kaminsky thinks he's going to jump into his new job with that? Good luck.
"We don't have those boxes," Ivan says, which is almost true. The Konsilium strongly prefers, in general, that people don't look at them, and any other uncomfortable bits of their history. "Go away."
Fedyor Kaminsky folds his arms. "No."
Saints, Ivan thinks sourly. What has he done to deserve this purgatory? (The Konsilium has also tried to outlaw the Ravkan Faith, since they're all supposed to be modern and secular now and because nobody wants another Apparat, but old habits are hard to break.) He stares at Fedyor, who stares back. This is confounding. Why hasn't he run away in terror yet? Everyone else does.
"Sorry," Ivan says, and turns away. "Can't help. Good day."
Naturally, Fedyor Kaminsky does not take the hint. He's back again the next day, still politely and stubbornly repeating his request for those boxes, and when Ivan loathingly suggests that the library is on winter-break hours and does not have to accommodate him at all, cheerily asks if Ivan's boss, the director of special collections, would agree. The threat of workplace discipline (or Saints forbid, a note in his permanent file) is stiff enough to make Ivan finally, furiously recant. Fine. If Kaminsky wants to get himself fired before even finishing his first year, it's nothing to Ivan. Might be a perk.
So, when they're into the second week of the requests, Ivan gives in, stomps to the back, and angrily hauls down the boxes, which are gathering dust from all the times he has, according to the rules, refused access to them before. It's not wise for Fedyor to look at these materials in the open, so Ivan tells him to take them to one of the backside reading rooms -- which is right across from Ivan's office, and makes him grimly reflect that he should have planned it better. But Fedyor works steadily and mostly silently, which is always a commendation in Ivan's book, and finally, on one dead-silent freezing morning right after the Winter Fete, when they are literally the only two people in the library and probably all of campus, he gives in. "What are you looking for?"
Fedyor jumps, glancing up in patent surprise. They eye each other for a long moment, as if to be sure that Ivan Sakharov actually did, entirely of his own volition, initiate a conversation with another human being. Then finally, warily, he says, "What's it to you?"
Good, Ivan thinks. Good instincts, just in case I was in fact an informer for the Konsilium. "I don't care," he says aloud. "I was just curious. They seemed so important to you."
"I'm just working on something," Fedyor says, after a long pause. "Confirming a hypothesis. It'll probably get me into trouble, but -- " He shrugs, with no small amount of bitterness. "I'm used to that."
Ivan thinks about it. This can't go anywhere good, but they've been made a strange sort of partners in this buried secret, and he's almost gotten used to Fedyor working away outside his door. "What?"
"I think they were lovers," Fedyor says, after a final, reluctant moment. "Alina and the Darkling, that is, and then also Alina and Nikolai, and maybe all three of them together. I think it's a love story. And as for why this matters, well -- it wouldn't change anything about our own history right now, how it all ended. But the narrative has always been that the Darkling was this awful monster who had to be destroyed, and the Grisha were his secret shock troops determined to overthrow the country on his behalf, and that pulled Alina and Nikolai into some regrettable circumstance they couldn't control and that led to their tragic downfall -- you know. It's just..."
"What?"
"I don't think it's true." Fedyor shrugs again. "I think everything we know about our own past, about the fall of the Imperial House of Lantsov, and about the Grisha, is a lie. And if that's the case, then the Konsilium knows it, or has covered it up, and that means -- "
"Shut up," Ivan interrupts roughly. "Saints. Don't talk like that. Someone could hear you."
"You could hear me." Fedyor smiles a little, a shadowed eclipse, and it does something very strange to Ivan's innards. "Does that matter?"
"I... " Ivan's mouth is dry. He can't look away. Not for any reason that means anything. "Never mind," he says, which seems the best and safest option, if it isn't already far too late. "Go back to work."
Fedyor eyes him a moment longer, then nods, a deliberate motion indicating that he knows and understands Ivan is choosing to keep his secret. Ivan himself doesn't know why, or what it is about Doctor Kaminsky, the feckless and foolish and fearless, that's gotten under his skin. It could be -- but no, it's not, it can't be that. From time to time, the very brave or very stupid actually think that Ivan himself is good-looking and try to flirt, and once a woman actually asked him on a date, which was the worst moment of his entire life (does he look like a heterosexual?!?!) But it's just shallow, surface-level, not like they're seeing him. Not like they know what monstrosity lies beneath. I think it's a love story. As if love matters. As if love, and the simple truth of it, can change the course of history.
Ivan shudders, once and then again. He looks at Fedyor for a very long moment, allowing himself -- just for that short and fleeting instant -- to imagine something he can never, never have. He grieves for it as if it was real, and then he lets it go. Turns, and walks away.
I suppose on balance...dislike. If something is bad, I'd rather be able to brace myself; if something is good; there's nothing wrong with anticipation! And if it's neutral, well, I just want to incorporate it into my plans. If it's good too tbh.
I'm feeling controversy in this chili's tonight...bangel, spuffy, and fuffy?
oh boy let’s hope this doesn’t Start Some Shit.
disclaimer (because i know this fandom) that all of these opinions do come from a place of “these three relationships as presented in canon are a toxic mess and if you come into my inbox to tear down spike/angel/spuffy/bangel/fuffy/faith i will probably agree with the points that you make.” (i love faith so much that is my GIRL but like. the stuff she did with/in buffy’s body was not okay, to name one example.)
bangel
vomit / don’t ship / ok / cute / adorable / sexy / perfect / beyond flawless / hot damn / screaming and crying /i will ship them in hell
buffy and angel are truly so soft and sweet and cute! peak high school romance, honestly, though i personally have trouble imagining it going all that far beyond high school. i do kinda think the way they ended wasn’t fair to buffy -- angel kinda cut it off preemptively because he decided to be the adult FOR buffy, which in turn says some really weird things about the power dynamic in that relationship? but i really like the deep and important connection that was so formative for both of them. it’s so cool to look at the show and see how they so hugely influenced each other. the og love story.
spuffy
vomit / don’t ship / ok / cute / adorable / sexy / perfect / beyond flawless / hot damn / screaming and crying /i will ship them in hell
hsdlhkslkh the og hot mess. there’s so much to unpack in that dynamic! it’s kind of the most popular btvs ship, so i’m not sure what i could say that hasn’t already been said, yk? i remember when i was watching the show for the very first time, i was really soft for their early season six relationship. i also think they have some great banter and i am a sucker for that.
fuffy
vomit / don’t ship / ok / cute / adorable / sexy / perfect / beyond flawless / hot damn / screaming and crying /i will ship them in hell
i go legitimately insane thinking about these two specifically because they were not ALLOWED to be a love story the same caliber as spike’s or angel’s relationship with buffy, and if you look at faith’s violent anger at being shut out through the lens of heteronormativity + canon’s refusal to allow her legitimacy as a love interest.....my god! the potential!
Defining a himbo to me first: he’s large/strong, kind, and decently good looking. He’s kind. He probably loves kids and animals. He treats women well because he believes he should, not because he’s looking to sleep with them. Buuuut he’s not too bright. For that last one, I feel like that’s not necessarily just pure intelligence. It can be wisdom, insight, or common sense too. If they’re generally smart but they’re far too trusting of people, for example. I acknowledge I tend to gravitate towards that kind of himbo. Basically, INT and/or WIS has to be a dump stat. ;)
Arthur Morgan (Red Dead Redemption 2). The soul of a sad, sweet poet in the role of a gang thug. He loves helping people, doodles little animals, and wants more than anything to be a husband and father. He treats women with courtesy, and regards them as equal. He’s a survivor of years of abuse and hardship, but it didn’t kill his gentleness, though it’s made him self-destructive. Alas, his eagerness to help people and to be liked and “I HAVE JUST MET YOU AND I LOVE YOU” means he sometimes doesn’t have the Goddamn common sense of a gnat, particularly in who he trusts despite evidence to the contrary. He’d have caught on to Dutch much sooner if he was more of the cynic he pretends to be. His sense of surprise at some things (”The little picture cards?” “(glancing around for dinosaurs) EVERYWHERE?”) is also dumbass-endearing.
Thor (Marvel): I feel like “Thor:Ragnarok” getting away from brooding Shakespearianism is a case of how much Thor has a good heart to go with his strength and blond good looks, but holy shit is he dim sometimes. He’s always willing to give a second, third, fourth, etc. chance. He’s smart enough to pick up on some things and not be fooled, but overall he charges into dangerous situations with all the glee of a dog let loose at the park excited to see his friends (who may not actually be his friends, see: Hulk, Loki, etc.) It’s adorable.
Din Djarin (Star Wars: The Mandalorian) Oh, Mando. You and your need to help people and protect your tiny green son on a quest to find him his home. Courteous and kind to people until they prove they need shooting, he also tends to trust people too readily and get himself into some deep shit. But his loyalty and kindness and his love for lil’ Grogu wins the love and loyalty of more than a few people. Only a true himbo could end up as the likely heir to the throne of Mandalore completely by accident.
Bolin (Legend of Korra): sweet, gentle, all-too-often oblivious Bolin. He loves people, gets excited about everything, wants to help, and the point and/or the reality of the situation goes over his head so often. Agreeing to pretty much anything rather than disappointing your girlfriend by breaking up with her is honestly a fairly himbo move, even if not a particularly healthy one. In the end, Bolin is pretty clearly the heart of Team Korra.
Luka Kovac (ER): what can you say about Luka? An absolutely brilliant doctor, shown to be compassionate to people from the get-go with excellent bedside manner, loves kids, treats women well, motivated and funny and warm, loyal and devoted in his romantic/sexual and family life. Also a complete dumbfuck who has the emotional insight of the average water buffalo in his personal relationships (and who also cannot shut up and play any hospital politics to save his ass). He breaks up with his girlfriend in the most ridiculous argument ever, goes through a massive self-destructive phase, and then runs off to Africa to avoid the whole thing because why not be Extra like that. But he makes up for it because his talks with her about intimacy and love after trauma and later the truth of love and marriage rather than being in love are still wonderful, even fifteen-ish years later.
vomit / don’t ship / ok / cute / adorable / sexy / perfect / beyond flawless / hot damn / screaming and crying /i will ship them in hell
I wasn’t quite sure how to answer this one since I’m pretty sure the writers have said that Flint is canonically homosexual. So while I love these three characters and their dynamic, I wouldn’t want to think about Flint x Miranda having sex. (The one sex scene they do have is awkward enough haha). And idk if Thomas is canonically only attracted to men but that is what I’ve always assumed. Anyways, all this to say that I love their dynamic in general
my favorite female character: Zari (Tomaz or Tarazi i love them both)
my favorite male character: NATE MONSTER FUCKER HEYWOOD
my favorite book/season/etc: oh god oh fuck um...s3
my favorite episodeS (if its a tv show): Left Behind, Here I Go Again, Legends of To-Meow-Meow, Egg MacGuffin, A Head of Her Time
my favorite cast member: Ciara Renée (i miss you and Kendra so much)
my favorite ship: there are no ships on the Waverider. everyone fucks everyone and that’s how they like it
a character I’d die defending: MONA WU!!!!! i don’t know how some people got it in their heads to dislike her when she’s the human embodiment of sunshine and love, but like.....stop
a character I just can’t sympathize with: we don’t fuck with Hank Heywood on this blog
a character I grew to love: CONFESSION TIME: i was.....not fond of Mick in s1 i’ve learned the error of my ways!
my anti otp: do i.......is there anyone i don’t ship on legends?
Emma Swan just wants to write the follow-up to her bestselling debut novel, that’s all. But when she gets off to a rough start with her new editor, Killian Jones, she knows it’s not going according to plan. Then, an unexpected figure from Emma’s past reappears and life begins to mirror the crime thriller she’s penning. Suspicion and secrets abound–but love might too. Writer/editor AU with a thriller twist.
