Growth, change and patterns
Love reading other perspectives and they often inspire us to think deeper about our own feelings. We really enjoyed this Business As Usual post by @miss0atae for this very reason, even if we came to a different conclusion.
Thinking about this is making us want to rewatch it... and we still might... so it's possible we could gain a new perspective. But our impression was that Min Jun has changed through his experiences, though not always for the better.
I feel the need to start by saying that we get to see VERY little of who these people have been for the last 8 years. And even now, we only see them as they react to each other, within this relationship and this situation, with all their baggage of the past and how it impacts where they are now at this point in time. Their existence and personality outside this relationship is mostly unknown to us. And honestly, it doesn't matter because we can have epic growth individually and still be stuck in old habits and patterns within established relationships. Sometimes it is hard to free ourselves from who we were to make space for who we are or are becoming. For this reason, it can be much harder to break a pattern than to just start over with someone new where there is no history that needs to be overcome.
We totally agree with @miss0atae that Min Jun seems tired to his core. Depression seems like a possibility, but it's hard to know if this is his "normal" or just where he is at in this particular moment. If I had someone suddenly show up in my life that had hurt me the way Min Jun had been hurt (misunderstanding or not), my emotional state and behaviors would have little to do with how I am managing life on a regular basis. So we aren't convinced that Min Jun's current state as we see him is representative of how he has spent the last 8 years.
The series made a point to say that both had been more submissive in the past, both changed themselves to fit the other, both were insecure and afraid, and both had grown and changed from who they were in the past, and continue to grow as they navigate their current relationship. But for the sake of this post, we are here to focus on Min Jun's growth. I've already written a book, so I'm going to try to keep this short and only make a couple of points. 🤣
One of the big things we noticed is that Min Jun is a lot less passive. Does he still have more work to do in this area? Yes. They even made a point of this with him staying silent at work and taking on too much. But even Jin Hwan says he's changed and is more outspoken. And we see Min Jun frequently push back against Jin Hwan, rejecting him and speaking up about his feelings. He believed he let himself be used last time, and he won't let it happen again. Even when he realizes it was a misunderstanding, he isn't silent when he perceived he's being played with.
And we see this growth again after the wedding when he declines the invitation to go out to dinner. In the past, we saw him cave when Jin Hwan pushed his invitation to join him with his friends. So Min Jun seems a lot more willing to say what he is feeling and prioritize his own desires over those of someone he likes.
We also feel he has grown more protective of himself. He's experienced a deep wound that left serious scars. Even knowing it was a misunderstanding does not change that experience. He can intellectually understand he cut himself, but the wound still existed. Yes, Min Jun had been afraid to admit his feelings in the past, fearing the pain of rejection. But he is even more afraid of that pain now that he has experienced it. This is the change that has not been for the better.
Also, this self preservation fuels his fear as soon as he recognized himself returning to old patterns. He likes Jin Hwan and that scares him. That fear of being vulnerable and opening up to this man to risk being hurt again is clear on his face when they sleep together for the second time. It was devastating to see them repeat the pattern of experiencing the same event so differently. But even with bigger walls this time, with epic levels of reassurance from Jin Hwan, Min Jun ignores his fear enough to let himself surrender to his emotions in this moment, just like he did last time.
But this is short lived. With his growing feelings for Jin Hwan, Min Jun also recognizes himself returning to those old patterns. The increased hope comes with increased fear, and the pain he experienced in the past gives his fear much bigger teeth. So as soon as he finds himself back in a familiar place, watching his phone, waiting for a text, something to prove to Min Jun that he's important, that he isn't being used by Jin Hwan (this time to resist his father), and when that text doesn't come, his need for answers causes him to start searching, while also being afraid of what those answers could be. And when he finds Jin Hwan, the need he feels is too much and the pain too familiar. It's too scary. He knows this isn't healthy and he doesn't want to be back here living these same patterns over again. So he runs away, just like last time. Only now he will tell Jin Hwan to his face, communicating clearly what he wants with devastating impact. And Jin Hwan, having been as clear as he can possibly be, knows there is nothing else he can do, will close the door because it wasn't enough. AH! It's so sad! Having feels!
ANYWAY! By the end, Min Jun grows again. Realizing he is repeating another pattern, making the same mistakes he made last time (thanks to the best wingman EVER!), Min Jun is finally willing to face his fears and stop running. ABOUT FREAKING TIME! He knows he might get hurt, but he won't hold back. And Jin Hwan finally got what he deserved, someone who chooses him back and is willing to fight for him.
We spent the entire show being mad at Min Jun and we weren't ready to forgive him. Honestly, not sure we have. But we will call this ending good enough for Jin Hwan and good enough for us. It told a story we can respect and Min Jun owned his mistakes, grew, and gave us hope he will do better.
Thank you @miss0atae for sharing your perspective and inspiring this post! Please don't think we are picking on you because we had a different opinion. We just wanted to give you credit for making us think deeper about this character. ❤
