#mmangstweek

[caire-draws]

@mmangstweek 2019, Day 1: Choices ▪︎ Regrets

“I wonder… if things could have gone differently. I wonder if I… Could have chosen something else.“

*Me is still not over the fact that in Seven’s route Jumin is completely, utterly destroyed*

[mrs-han]

MM Angst Week - Regrets

“Do you, Han Jumin, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded -”

“I do.”

Silent gasps echoed through the auditorium.

Cutting off the officiate wasn’t unheard of, or uncommon. But it was done by common folk - people too eager, way too excited to make their marriage official. Jumin was a gentleman, born and bred. He had to know better.

But none of them truly understood how the groom felt about his blushing bride. Jumin was excited, desperate even, to make you his wife.

While spectators murmured amongst themselves over Jumin’s brashness, you - you - the only important person before his eyes, were beaming. You bashfully tucked your hair behind your ear and flashed him a wide smile.

“Uh… ah… yes. Do you, MC -”

You hoisted yourself onto your tiptoes, wrapped your arms around Jumin’s neck and kissed him. Louder gasps followed by gentle murmurs disturbed the space once again as Jumin moved his hand to your jawline and deepened the smooch smoothly, passionately.

The officiate stood stunned, mouth agape and eyes wide. He hadn’t made the marriage official yet, and you two were already kissing.

Jumin took the kiss a step forward - he grabbed your waist and dipped you with grace and ease, further provoking the guests.

“Mr. Han, Miss MC, this is quite inappropriate,” the officiate whispered, sweat hugging the fabric from the collar to his neck.

Reputations were on the line. The classic, clean, traditional wedding ceremony was being tarnished. Priests and Pastors alike were ready to ban you both from ever entering a church.

But neither of you cared. The love, the passion, the kind, gentle, caring nature you both shared towards one another was all that mattered.

Jumin pulled you up and pushed your veil back, aware that pushing the veil of the bride back twice was considered bad luck in the minds of many of the guests, but caring very little for their opinions.

“I do. I do, I truly do.” Your smile widened the longer you stared into Jumin’s eyes - eyes that were focused adoringly on you. You alone.

The officiate looked down. “... Then… by the power vested in me… I now pronounce you man, and wi -”

Without a moment’s hesitation, Jumin’s hands cupped your cheeks and pulled you in for another deep, mind-numbing kiss.

“... Wife. You may now kiss the bride,” the officiate mumbled .

It was completely unconventional. To most, it was uncalled for. But neither of you cared. All that mattered… yes, all that mattered was you before his eyes, and he before yours.

Without a single care in the world.

~~~

Funny how time changes things. Funny how fickle happiness can be. All it takes is one annoyed glance - one careless sigh.

You had been married to Jumin for three years. Three. And the careless disposition you both shared on the day of the wedding quickly became a careless disposition for the marriage.

~~~

Arguments were frequent.

~~~

“Jumin, you promised me that you would come to this event.”

“Darling, it can’t be helped, I need to be in Dubai by then.”

You threw your work scarf over the kitchen stool. “How is it that I manage to make all of your work functions but you can’t make any of mine?”

Jumin’s jaw tightened. “Because I am busy.”

“You’re never there for me the way I am for you!”

“That’s not true, darling. Haven’t I told you before? You will always come first. Always.”

“You say that… but it doesn’t feel true anymore, Jumin.”

~~~

Once genuine investment in each other turned passive and cold.

~~~

“Where are you going?” Jumin boomed, his voice carrying throughout the penthouse.

“Out,” you sighed, slinging your bag over your shoulder. “I won’t be gone long.”

“I thought we were going to stay in tonight. Watch a film.”

“Yeah, well. I changed my mind, Jumin. Besides, we’ve watched ‘The Notebook’ a million times already.”

“Stop exaggerating, MC. We’ve watched the film approximately sixty-five times.”

“I don’t feel like watching it again. Not like anything changes the sixty-sixth time.”

“MC -”

“I gotta go.”

~~~

Even the basic need of touch seemed unwanted.

~~~

“You look so handsome today,” you purred into Jumin’s ear, gliding your hands down his chest.

Not now, he mouthed, his phone pressed firmly to his ear.

It was common - almost normal - for you to tease him in the middle of a business call. He would get flustered, adorably so, hang up, and refocus his attention solely on you. But lately...

No. You wouldn’t give up. You licked his earlobe, bit down and tugged gently. A soft yet sharp gasp was your response - followed by a sharp, unforgiving glare.

You buckled slightly, your feet catching on the carpet. Jumin reached to grab your arm. You winced, not because of how firmly he gripped your arm, but because of how cold - how distant his touch seemed. You didn’t like this. You didn’t like it when he was like this.

He pulled his phone from his ear, the sharpness in his eyes now dull and tired. “Not now. Please, darling, not… not now.”

~~~

Funny how time altered things. The longer you were exposed to him, the more vulnerable you felt. Was he growing tired of you? Were you of him?

You took your place in the armchair by the window overlooking the city, a glass of wine in hand. You two had grown accustomed to one another, surely.

But the love was still there. You, at least… you still adored him.

Did he, you?

To your surprise, Jumin took his place in the armchair beside you. His curled bangs fell gracefully down the slope of his nose… his soft, firm hands eased over the arms of the chair to his lap… and a soft, melancholic sigh escaped his lips.

You two hadn’t sat like this in… in months.

“Hello, darling.” Jumin hummed gently and glanced at you. He looked tired, exposed to too much in a short span of time.

Including you…? You hoped not.

“Hello, honey.” You tried to control yourself and your emotions. But as you spoke, your voice trembled.

You cursed inwardly as your husband sat up cautiously.

“What’s wrong, my love?” His brows knit together. The tips of his fingers whitened as he gripped the arms of the chair and pushed himself forward.

“Nothing, nothing,” you smiled. “I just… we’ve been married for a little while now and I… I hope you don’t regret me, Jumin.”

He froze. The atmosphere surrounding you both turned stale. The only semblance of life was Elizabeth the Third, who strolled to you and rubbed herself against your leg.

“I… you know what, never mind, please forget I said anything,” you muttered quickly, unable to bear the awkward environment.

Jumin gripped your wrist before you could get away from him. He stood, spinning you to his chest and holding you in a tight embrace.

“Repeat that?” He asked rigidly.

“Please… forget I said anything?”

“MC.”

You floundered. “I know things have been difficult for us lately. I think back on our wedding day and I compare how good things were to… well, how they are now. I hope… I hope you don’t regret… me.”

Jumin’s stony expression faded as you spoke. He looked distraught.

“Darling… darling,” he exhaled, pulling you into a hug.

You surrendered yourself to his embrace, closing your eyes and wrapping your arms around his waist.

“How cruel of you,” Jumin whispered fiercely, curling his fingers over your form. “How cruel of you to suggest that I could ever regret knowing you.”

You lowered your gaze. He caught your chin and tilted it up, keeping your eyes locked on his.

“Things may have been tense lately, I’ll admit that. But our disagreements, our squabbles… darling, they suggest that we are in love,” he continued. “No matter how much time passes, I will always love you. You are the only person I will look for at the end of each day. That will never change, so long as I live.”

You bit your lower lip - he leaned in and released your teeth’s harsh hold against the tender flesh by kissing you sincerely. Your heart skipped a beat - no, two, three beats. This was your husband. He was the man you loved, the man you vowed to love and cherish from that fateful wedding day to now.

“No matter how many times we disagree, and no matter how often,” he hummed in between kisses. “My love for you will only strengthen. You are my dear one, MC… you are my wife, you are my own, and I am yours. Forgive me if I made you think otherwise.”

“Jumin…”

“Do you…” his confidence wavered. “Do you… regret -”

“No,” you interrupted immediately. “No, no. No, I don’t regret you, not in the slightest. You are my everything, Jumin… where would I be without you?”

“It excites me to think of all the time we have together,” Jumin smiled, his finger still hooked under your chin.

“A hundred years?” you beamed.

“Much longer than that,” Jumin crooned, kissing your jawline. “Why don’t we plan a trip together, hm? You and I, we can go wherever you want.”

“Really?!”

“Really.”

“I’ve wanted to go to Napa Valley for a few weeks now,” you gushed eagerly. “What do you think? We’ll get to go on the Wine Train!”

“... Or… we could tour Europe,” Jumin chimed in slowly. “If wine is what you’re after, we can start from The Netherlands and travel down to Italy.”

“That would take up too much time,” you griped. “There’s plenty of wine at Napa Valley, and we’d stay in one place.”

“We would spend more time with one another if we toured Europe,” Jumin replied flatly.

“No matter where we go, we’re going to be spending time with each other,” you sighed.

“... Are we disagreeing again?” He quirked a brow.

“... I believe we are,” you grinned mischievously. “Play you for it?”

Jumin sighed and rolled his sleeves up. “You’re on, darling.”

~~~

This was for the first day of @mmangstweek *rolls and plops into a ravine*

Ah well, better late than never, ey!

Saysthecollegestudent,omg

[sephirotha]

Trouble in Paradise

“I would like a job.”

Jumin looked very surprised when his wife announced this during their dinner.  His fork hovered before his mouth which was poised to eat the piece of steak.

He lowered the utensil and frowned.

“But you don’t need a job.”

MC shifted in her seat, looking a little anxious.  Jumin placed his fork and knife on the plate and leaned a little closer.

“MC, do you need money?  Is there something you want?  I’d be happy to…”

“No, it’s not about the money.  It’s about doing something in my spare time.”

MC looked around the penthouse, sighing softly.

“This is a nice place and I love living here.  But I don’t want to spend all day here.  I want to go out more, do something productive.  I mean, I’ve just graduated!  I should do something with my degree!  Then I wouldn’t have to fully depend on you, and I’ll be less guilty when I want to ask for something.”

Jumin took a sip of his wine to hide his grimace.

“But you’re my wife, MC.  If I can do something for you, I’d gladly do it.”

“I know and I will ask if I truly want something.  I promise.  I just want to get out more.  Don’t you understand?”

Jumin swirled the contents of his glass thoughtfully.

“Then I can look…”

“No.  I can look by myself.”

MC smiled as she reached out to pet her husband’s hand.

“If you want, you can help me write cover letters and check my CV. But I don’t want a job at C&R.”

Jumin sighed as he sat back and closed his eyes.

“Very well.  I can have Assistant Kang at least help you.  If you…truly wish me to stay out of this.”

MC’s face fell.

“Jumin, please don’t be upset.  I’m just hoping you can understand why I want a job.”

Jumin sighed again.

“It’s…it’s difficult.”

With his tone, they both knew that the topic was over.

Jumin made sure to keep away from MC and Jaehee as they discussed and planned for MC to apply to jobs.  He remembered that she was interested in journalism and secretly hoping she would change her mind once she realises how stressful that kind of career can be.

He smiled on cue when she announced she got an internship at a news station.  She would be shadowing employees and learning more about the industry.  

The chat was explosive with praises and congratulations.  It was honestly a headache.

During the next week, Jumin would arrive to an empty home.  MC worked late with the shadowing and they spent less time together.

He should feel happy, but he just couldn’t bring himself to.  

He missed MC.

He missed having dinner with her.  He missed the early nights or the lie-ins after a late night.  The penthouse just felt cold without her.

He just held his tongue during that first week.

But then, the second week rolled around and something about MC changed.

She stopped wearing skirts and wore trousers.  She changed from short-sleeved, comfortable blouses to high-collared and stiff ones.

And during the weekend, when she had those days off, she didn’t once talk about her job.  She looked…upset and it was distressing.

Jumin didn’t want to pry, until now.

His wife was uncomfortable and suffering but how was he going to approach her without making it look like he was trying to stop her from her job?

The answer was obvious.  Jaehee.

“Assistant Kang, stay for a moment, please.”

It was a hot, Thursday morning.  Jumin took his blazer off to cope with the heat and Jaehee looked like she would faint at any moment.  It was a tragic time for the air conditioning to break.

“I want to talk about my wife.”

“MC?” Jaehee said as she adjusted her glasses.  “Is something wrong?”

“She talks to you more than she talks with me.  Recently, she’s been…it’s like she has less energy.  And she is wearing uncomfortable clothes. Today, she wore a cardigan before leaving.”

Jaehee’s eyes bulged out of her skull.

“Oh, well.  Maybe she doesn’t feel the heat as much.”

“She never stops complaining about it, so I don’t think that’s the problem.”

Jumin narrowed his eyes as he leaned across the desk.

“You’re hiding something from me.”

Jaehee swallowed and lowered her gaze.

“Mr Han.  If I do divulge this information, that MC told to me in confidence, you must promise to not overreact.”

Jumin pressed his lips together and nodded once.  Jaehee took a deep breath.

“Friday evening, MC approached me for advice.  She’s being harassed by a male co-worker.”

Jumin sat back and Jaehee cringed when she saw his eyes aflame with emotion.

“And pray tell, what made you think I can…overreact to this?”

Jaehee stepped forward.

“Because MC is worried that if you intervene, it’ll make things worse. Think about it for a moment, Mr Han! You may be her husband, but you’re also the CEO of C&R!  If you do something, she could be open to more harassment.”

Jumin’s nostrils flared.

“So, she came to you for advice and not to me.”

He closed his eyes and looked to the side.

“I…I must be the worst husband on the planet.”

“Of course not,” Jaehee sighed.  “The fact that you’ve acknowledged the change in her behaviour puts you above all the neglectful husbands in the world.”

She looked to the side.

“Besides, her coming to me is beneficial, since I’ve been through similar experiences.”

Jumin turned to her sharply.

“And you haven’t told me?!”

Jaehee sighed shortly.

“You have a human resources department for a reason, Mr Han. I told MC to talk to the H&R department at her workplace.  Even if she’s only there for four more weeks, she shouldn’t have to put up with anymore of this.”

Jumin would have spoken more, hadn’t Jaehee firmly pointed out he had a meeting in two minutes and disappeared from his office.

That night, he waited for MC to come back home.  

It was painful to wait in the dark with the clock ticking in the sitting room.  Elizabeth was sound asleep on the sofa, purring gently.

Jumin lifted his chin when the door opened and he strode across the room.

“Jumin…?!”

Jumin grabbed his wife and brought her into a tight hug.  At first, he was upset and angry about her not coming to him about any problems.  He regretted letting her look for a job or pushing her to work for C&R so he could keep an eye on her.  

But the moment he heard her voice, it all just melted away.

He just really wanted to hold her and say everything was alright.

Just soothe her fears and rock her to sleep.

He had already requested for her to take the previous day off.  He just wanted to hold her and keep her safe.

Even if it meant locking her up again.

[For @mmangstweek - Prompt Day 1: Choices/Regrets]

[reifromrfa]

Be Happy: Zen x MC

MM Angst week Day 3: Danger | Death

~

Hey guys! Here’s my entry for day 3 of @mmangstweek ! This was both thrilling and heartbreaking to write, and I hope I was able to deliver the idea and message clearly! There’s a song that accompanies it, which I totally urge you to listen to on loop as you read the story.

You can listen to the song, “Take Her to the Moon” by Moira dela Torre, HERE. She’s a Filipina artist and I really love her style and her songs ^^ Don’t worry though, the song’s in English! If you don’t want the song on repeat, I advise you to play it when you see the ♪ in the fic :) 

I hope you guys enjoy the fic, and happy angst week! ;)

_____________________________________________

Be Happy: Zen x MC

He doesn't notice when the city buildings turn to trees, when the day turns to night. Everything passes by him in a blur, his crimson eyes watching the road but at the same time, seeing something else. In his mind, all he can see are a pair of hazel eyes, twinkling in the moonlight.

Zen revs the engine and his motorcycle speeds past the main road and onto the path leading to his secret place, the place only a handful of his friends know about. An ironic smile crosses his face; the CEO-in-line is one of those people. But his heart clenches when he remembers Jumin standing beside him that day.

That day...

He shakes his head. Not yet. Not now.

~

Zen closes his eyes and listens as the sounds of the guitar fill the room, a serene smile plastered on his face. His head is propped on the arm of their sofa, body stretched out as the warm afternoon sun filters in from the small basement window. The voice of an angel fills the room and he can't help but fall in love with her all over again. 

"...So before we say I do, would you please hold me close tonight

Be with me"

Zen opens his eyes and gazes at MC, sitting on the other end of the couch by his feet. Her brown hair is piled messily on top of her head, her eyeglasses slipping down her nose as she leans forward and hastily scribbles musical notes and lyrics onto her notebook. Then when she's done, she straightens and readjusts her guitar on her lap.

But when she notices his eyes on her, MC turns to her boyfriend and giggles. "What?"

Zen grins. "Jagiya, have I ever told you how beautiful you are?"

MC's cheeks turn pink but she nudges his feet with her leg. "I think you mentioned it before, but I don't mind hearing it again." Then she laughs. "But not when I'm like this! I didn't even comb my hair today!"

Zen sits up, his eyes bright. "Ya, Jagi, this is exactly why you're beautiful. You don't have to do anything, you don't have to dress up or even comb your hair." He moves his legs and scoots closer to MC. Zen's fingers brush her cheek and he sees her get redder. "You're an angel, MC. My gorgeous angel."

MC reaches up and touches his hand, then turns her face so her lips can kiss his fingers. "Hyun, I love you. You're too sweet and charming for your own good, mister! I don't want to be an angel though, I just want to be a simple girl who's in love with a handsome knight~"

Zen traces her lips with his fingers and he feels her body tensing, her lips parting as she inhales sharply. "No...you're definitely an angel, MC. Maybe an angel who lives on the moon. And every time there's a full moon, you'd come to earth and grace the knight with your presence."

MC pouts, grabbing his wrist and pulling his fingers away from her lips before she combusts on the spot. "But Zenny, that's too tragic. It means I won't get to see you all the time?"

"Don't all love stories have a little bit of tragedy in them? Besides," Zen says, inching closer to her. "One day, the knight will find a way so the angel doesn't have to go back to the lonely moon. And they'll spend the rest of their lives happily on earth, together."

MC is grinning from ear to ear, knowing her boyfriend is now lost in the script he's created. "But Hyun, what if the angel has friends on the moon?"

Zen pretends to mull it over, his face scrunching up in concentration. He shrugs and says, "Then I guess the knight will have to find a flying horse so he can take her back to the moon. And when they're flying, she can hold onto his waist tightly." 

MC laughs out loud. "Hyun! She's an angel! She can fly!"

"I know, but she'd want to be as close to the knight as possible, right? He's so good-looking that she won't be able to resist the excuse of holding onto him tightly."

MC lightly smacks her forehead with her palm before nodding seriously. "You're right. I didn't think of that. She'd totally bury her face on his back and take the opportunity to feel those abs under the knight's shirt..."

A wicked grin spreads on his face. "His abs...? Jagi...didn't I tell you all men are wolves? Even the knight will end up unleashing his beast on the sweet, innocent angel."

MC winks. "Maybe the angel wants to be corrupted a little~"

"She does?" He shifts in his seat until he's only a few inches away from her. MC shakes her head.

"Ya, ya! Hyun, I need to finish this song by this week!" MC protests, scooting away. But Zen reaches for her waist and MC squeals as he pulls her closer to him.

"But my angel," he says in a low voice. "When the morning comes, we'll have to part once more." His crimson eyes are full of sincerity and MC has to remind herself how to breathe. "So tonight...grant me this moment with you."

"Zen--"

His lips find her neck and MC gasps, then moans as he sucks on her collarbone. "H-Hyun..."

Zen grabs her guitar and takes it off her hands, placing it on the floor before he reaches for the hem of her shirt...

"Hyun."

"Mmm?" he murmurs, tongue playfully licking her skin. He feels MC's hands on his shoulders as she pushes him away. Before he could ask what's wrong, MC has already stood up, heading for the kitchen.

"Jagi? What's wrong?" Zen asks. He moves the guitar so he doesn't step on it and that's when his eyes notice the drop of blood on the smooth surface of the instrument. "Jagi?" Zen stands and goes to his girlfriend, who's reaching for a hand towel.

"Sorry, babe. Just a nosebleed. Total turn-off, I know!" She laughs.

~

He reaches his secret place and Zen finds a spot to park his motorcycle. Then, the silver-haired actor walks to the edge of the cliff that overlooks the city. In the dark, the lights twinkle and glisten beautifully. Once, he found them beautiful. Hell...MC called this view "dazzling". And she's right, it is. But it's not the same now...

Zen swallows the painful lump in his throat but he can't stop the stinging of his eyes as hot tears begin to blur his vision.

The day MC got that nosebleed was the start of it all...the start of the end. The nosebleeds got more frequent until he took her to see a doctor...where they were given the news that MC was sick. 

Zen remembers all those damn tests, being in and out of the hospital. How MC started to look paler, thinner. The entire RFA doing their best to help. The CEO-in-line even bought them plane tickets to see the best doctors in different countries.

But their diagnosis never changed. The numbers did...the numbers that sent fear into Zen's very core.

"Two years."

"Nine months."

"Twelve weeks."

They all said they could do the treatments, of course. Different treatments that could help ease her pain, help her get better. Who knows, maybe their predictions were wrong...miracles happen everyday after all, right?

In those days, Zen realized that hospitals all smelled the same...hospitals all looked the same. No matter where they were, he saw the same, familiar white walls. God, he grew to hate those white walls. But it didn't matter, because the woman who brought color to his life would be there, in that dull, colorless room, smiling at him.

Zen reaches inside his leather jacket for his pack of cigarettes, grabbing a stick and putting it between his lips. Taking his lighter in his hands, he raises it to the cigarette but hesitates. MC always told him to stop smoking, that it isn't good for his health. She's right, of course...but...

With a sigh, Zen pockets his lighter and puts the cigarette back into the pack. MC would be sad if she saw him smoking again. Instead, he plugs his earphones into his ears and goes to her playlist.

The one she specially made for him, the one she left for him.

He clicks play and shoves his phone back into his pocket. Zen lays his arms on the metal railing, leaning forward and continuing to stare at the city skyline without really seeing. Because now he lets his tears flow freely down his cheeks.

"Zenny! Haha...babe. If you're listening to this right now, you must be missing me. I miss you too, Hyun. I hope you've had your meal, and that you're somewhere warm and comfortable. But if you're on the subway, then be safe, okay~? And I hope you're smiling right now. Because I'm about to serenade you with my beautiful angelic voice! So..." MC makes a show of clearing her throat and Zen gives a small chuckle, imagining her face. "Without further ado, here's MC's top ten billboard hits!"

His ears are filled with the strumming of the guitar strings and Zen closes his eyes, picturing her in their living room, tirelessly working on her songs. He imagines her messy hair, the loose strands he's always itching to brush away...the crease between her eyebrows when she struggles with her lyrics or the chords. Her lips parting when she's staring at her notebook, lost in thought. The way she scratches her nose when she's annoyed or frustrated.

Song after song, Zen keeps the image of his beloved MC in his head, until the playlist goes to the last track and his heart twists painfully in his chest.

This was the last song she sang publicly...

~

"Zen, let's go to the cafe tomorrow."

Zen looks up from his phone, eyes focusing on MC beside him in their bed. The hospital released her, saying she could stay home as long as Zen watches over her and she takes her medications. Her next treatment is already scheduled and Zen's just grateful to have her home, so MC doesn't need to be trapped in that stifling hospital any longer.

"Tomorrow?" Zen glances at the calendar on his phone --Wednesday night. "Tomorrow is open mic, Jagi. You want to see the new performers?"

MC shakes her head. "I want to sing, Hyun."

Zen stares at her, processing her words. Slowly, he nods. He wouldn't be the one to stop her from doing what she wants, not now. In his head, he's already thinking about the medications he'll need to bring, where her thick jacket is.

"Okay, babe. Sure, let's do it!" He smiles and kisses her cheek, wanting to stay positive for her. "I want to see my girlfriend perform."

Zen announces it to the RFA, of course. And the following night, everyone is there, seated around a table as the lights dim and MC walks up the stage. Zen watches her by the side of the stage, heart swelling with pride. Under the small spotlight, MC is glowing. He's certain the cafe patrons wouldn't even notice how loose her sweater is, only how beautifully the brown-haired singer is as she sits on the stool and adjusts the microphone.

"Good evening," MC says into the mic, her cool voice making the cafe clients turn their heads to her. "I'd like to share with you an original song I've been working on for quite a while now." MC smiles. "I dedicate this to someone special...a knight who likes to gaze at the full moon."

Zen's eyes widen.

She laughs into the microphone. "I know this probably doesn't make sense, but it's a silly tale my boyfriend told me. And...and I'd like to dedicate this song to him. I hope you all enjoy."

MC's fingers start strumming and her body sways slightly as she gets into the mood of her song. Zen stands there breathlessly, awaiting the moment her voice reaches his soul. Finally, MC opens her mouth and starts singing.

♪"I know it's been a while since our eyes last met

Too many words were left unsaid

Your head was poking out of the driver's seat

Eyes full of tears, I couldn't leave"

"Couldn't...leave...?"

Zen can feel dread seeping into his bones, but even if fear is making its way into his heart, he can't look away from the angel pouring her heart out on stage. The entire room is quiet, everyone enchanted by MC. 

♪"No matter what I do I still feel you coming back to me

When I know that you never will

So before I say goodbye, would you do one last thing for me

Be happy"

"No...no, babe. Don't say goodbye. Don't say goodbye. I can't be happy without you."

♪"And take, take her to the moon for me"

"Her? MC...Jagi, no."

"Take her like you promised me"

"You still remember the knight's promise to the angel? Haha...Jagi, you're adorable."

♪"Say you love her every time like how you told me the last time"

"But what are you saying? This is...no. Why are you telling me this?"

♪"Someday I know we'll meet again

In heaven by the rainbow's end"

"Yes, Jagi. Yes, I'll be there with you, I'll meet you there."

♪"And I only wish you happiness

Until we meet again"

"But MC please. You have to know...You have to know you're the only woman I'll ever love."

Zen leans against the wall as the words sink into his head, into his heart. The song...her words. He understands what she's trying to tell him. To find another, to love again when she...

God. Zen bites his lower lip to keep himself from crying. He's still holding out hope that everything will be alright. He knows his MC will pull through this, they'll be able to overcome this. So why...why is she singing this? Why is she telling him this?

He can feel the glances from the RFA's table but he can't tear his eyes away from the love of his life. Her enchanting voice resounds around the room as she begins the second verse.

♪"Wish I could stick around and fight back your tears

Tell you 'My love, I'm still here'"

Zen feels his tears slipping down his cheeks. The weight of their situation hits him and the truth is suddenly too real, too suffocating. He finally allows himself to understand...

♪“Someday we'll understand why I had to leave

But for now I need you to set me free"

...that he may need to live the rest of his life without her by his side.

♪"No matter where you are

You'll always have my heart"

Zen smiles sadly, nodding to himself. His love knows him too well. She knows how he's been in denial of their situation, how he's been trying so hard to stay positive, to reassure her that everything will be alright. But he knows, he knows what she's trying to say.

♪"No matter where you are

I'll love you from afar"

"Zenny, there's a chance you'll have to let me go. Whether we like it or not...we'll be parted. But know that it's you, it's you I'll always love. Don't be scared, Zenny. This is only temporary...don't be scared, my knight."

Zen is smiling despite his tears. She is a woman like no other he's ever met in his entire existence and even in this terrifying moment of uncertainty for their future, her future...he can't help but love her more. In this moment, as she bares her heart out on stage, he wants to run to her and hold her in his arms and tell her again and again how much he loves her. To scream to the cafe, to the world how much this woman means to him, how she is his and he is hers, forever.

The room is silent, no one dares to break the solemn moment, the beautiful, heartfelt melody of the woman touching each of their hearts.

Jaehee is already crying, her heart breaking as MC's message rings around the space. Yoosung has his head bowed, eyes hidden. But there's no mistaking that his shoulders are shaking. Saeyoung puts an arm around Yoosung's shoulder, pulling the youngest member to him and giving him a gentle squeeze. His own eyes are wet, but Saeyoung swallows his tears, not wanting MC to see him cry too. 

Jumin has his eyes closed, arms crossed in front of him. Jihyun knows his best friend must be aware of the message behind MC's song. He sees Jumin swallowing, eyebrows knit, and Jihyun swipes at his cheek to wipe away his own tears. His turquoise eyes search the room to find Hyun. He spots the actor near the stage, tears streaming down his face. But there's a faint smile on Zen's face, his attention riveted to his love.

♪"No matter what I do I still feel you coming back to me

When I know that you never will

So before I say goodbye, would you do one last thing for me

Be happy"

"I'll always love you, my angel...my princess...my MC. Jagi, I get it. I get it. I'll still fight for you, I'll fight for you until the very end, MC. I'll pray for that miracle.

But loving another...taking another to the moon. Haha, sometimes I feel like I don't deserve such a wonderful, brave, talented, amazing woman like you. I'm sorry...I can't take another to the moon. Because if...if...if you leave me...

I know you'll be there on the moon, waiting for me. For your knight.

Thank you, Jagi, for wanting happiness for me. I'll be happy...don't worry, I'll be happy. As best I can. But you're the only one I want to take to the moon. The only one I'll go to the moon for. Silly girl...I love you so much, MC. I love you."

~

They had seven more blissful months together before she was taken from him. Zen listens to MC singing in his ear, the voice he misses so much so close and yet...so far out of his reach. He gazes at the full moon in the clear sky, eyes glistening with tears.

"MC," he says out loud, as though he's talking to the moon. "My moon angel. I did what you asked...I took the love of my life to the moon. That's right...one year ago today. I took her to the moon. She was smiling at me before we parted."

Zen sniffs and smiles before he continues. "I told her everyday how much I love her. I still tell her, in my dreams. And you know what, Jagi? I also told her...that no matter where she is,

she'll always have my heart."

His heart is aching, longing for the one he loves and Zen breaks down, allowing himself to cry. Today is her death anniversary, after all. He's allowed to cry, he's allowed to let himself miss her and be weak. The actor braves each day without her by his side...and he tries his best to live, to be happy like he promised her. Even though he has to walk each day alone, he doesn't mind; he's still very much in love with the woman who infiltrated their chatroom so many years ago. 

As the song comes to an end, MC's laugh rings in his ears.

"Tada! I may have changed the lyrics for this song a little, Hyun...But I love you too much to let those genes go to waste! Haha, so love, don't be afraid to love again, okay? Hyun...I know our time was cut short but know that I love you so much and you made me so happy. Everyday was a wonderful melody with you, my knight. I love you..."

"No matter where you are, MC," he whispers, voice trembling. "You'll always have my heart. No matter where you are...I'll love you from afar. And one day, we'll meet again, like we promised, babe. I'll go to the moon if I have to. I know you wanted me to find a girl, so I wouldn't be alone...but I already have someone I love. I'm just waiting for the day we meet again."

Hyun Ryu stays there for a while longer, gazing at the moon and wondering if she's watching him from the heavens. 

When it was time to leave, he takes a deep breath and wipes his tears. She may be gone, but his love for her will never fade, never wane. And someday, they'll meet again...he honestly believes that. But for now, while they're apart...he'd like to keep one promise that she asked from him.

...

MC’s fingers hovers over the stop button. She wanted her last words to him to be positive. No more goodbyes, no heartaches...no pain. She wanted him to remember her with that dazzling smile on his face.

She grins despite the tears in her eyes. Leaning into the microphone, she says:

"Hyun Ryu, you'll always have my heart. I love you. Be happy."

She ends the recording.

"Be happy."

_____________________________________________

I’d love to know your thoughts for this ^^; Thank you so much for reading, guys <3 More angst to come!...if I can finish them on time hahaha :))

_____________________________________________

Check out my other Mysme writings here!

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Become a Patron ! :)

[fandomssmoothie]

The Beginning of the End: 0.5

Hey guys! This is our entry for Day 5 of @mmangstweek! It’s about MC and 707 set in a universe where things go horribly wrong before the reset happens. 

We hope you guys like it! ^^

____________________________

The Beginning of the End: 0.5

Day 5: Bad End | Bad MC

MC stretches her arms to the front, she’s tired and wants to ask him to stop soon. It’s been hours since the last stop and her back is starting to bother her. She glances at him, his eyes focused on the road, it’d be good if she could find the right words and tell him that everything will be okay and they’ll find Saeran soon.

Saeyoung’s eyes shift from the road to the GPS device attached to the dashboard. They’re getting closer to the red marker. His hands start to sweat and a mixture of anticipation and panic swell in his chest.

This is it. When they get there, he’ll find his brother, he’s sure of it. And together with MC, they’ll save him and bring him home. Saeyoung glances at the woman sitting next to him and he notices her moving in her seat yet again. It’s then that he realizes they’ve been driving for a while now and Saeyoung’s foot eases on the pedal, the car decelerating.

“We can do a short stop here, MC. Rest a little before we kick some butt.” He gives her a smile and a wink, knowing he needs the break to pull himself together, as well. Saeyoung wants to be ready when they get there, there can’t be any mistakes this time; he’s not going to be pulled away from his brother again.

She smiles. “Okay.” Her hand reaches for his trying to find his fingers and locking them with hers.

MC looks outside, the road they’ve been driving on has taken them to the middle of nowhere. She glances at the side mirror and notices a black SUV behind them, the vehicle is closing in really fast.

“Saeyoung…?”

“Yep?”

“There’s a car behind us, it wasn’t there a minute ago.”

Saeyoung’s eyes flick to the rearview mirror and sure enough, he sees the black SUV zooming towards them. This can’t be a coincidence; surely that car is bad news. But what’s going on, this isn’t part of the game. They’re supposed to follow Vanderwood, which would lead them to Saeran, then save his twin and bring him home with them. Both he and MC did everything right...they’re supposed to be in the Secret End route right now. What’s going on?

“MC, is your seatbelt fastened tight?”

She nods. “Yes, I’m okay.” She bites her lower lip, her heartbeat quickens but she’s not scared. If there’s someone she trusts it’s him, her love.

“Okay. Things might get a little bumpy, babe, I need you to hold on, okay?” Flooring the gas, Saeyoung grips the steering wheel tighter and the car lurches forward, creating some distance between them and the SUV. To his dismay, Saeyoung sees the SUV accelerating too, hot on their tail.

They talked about this before leaving the bunker, the possible dangers and what to do if they got in any kind of trouble. MC unbuckles her seatbelt and reaches to get the bag on the back seat.

“MC, no, go back to your seat.” Saeyoung says with rising panic, watching as the SUV moves to switch lanes. He swerves the car to the left to cut off the other car while trying his best not to make the car turn too sharply so MC doesn’t get thrown out of her seat. This is new to him, and the fact that MC isn’t wearing her seatbelt is making him feel anxious. He doesn’t know if they’ll reset, or if this is a new game, a new update. Still, he’ll be damned before he lets anything bad happen to her though.

“I’m sorry but we need this. Let me help you.” She sits back and struggles to get her seatbelt on again. “You won’t do this alone, I’m here.” MC doesn’t want to waste time so she forgets about the buckle and unzips the bag.

Saeyoung utters a curse as the car switches lanes again; it’s going to try to drive alongside them, and that can prove dangerous.

“Okay, 606.” Saeyoung replies, eyes flicking from the mirror to the road. There’s a sharp curve coming up. “You remember that forky suction thingy I showed you 5 nights ago? I need you to throw that to the car behind us. Click the button on top of it and just throw.”

The “forky suction thingy” is Saeyoung’s version of an electromagnetic pulse. He made a few adjustments to the standard EMP that the agency gave him and modified it to shut down a car in seconds instead of the gradual, sputtering death of the car’s systems and engines.

MC shuffles the contents in the bag until she finds the device. She turns around on the seat, kneeling. Sticking her head out of the window, she presses the button and without overthinking her movements she throws the EMP device/forky suction thingy. It lands on the hood of the van.

Saeyoung watches with glee as the car behind them just stops in its tracks. The windows are heavily tinted so he couldn’t see the driver’s face, but he can bet whoever is after them is now super pissed.

“We did it!” MC screams sitting back, once again trying to get her seatbelt to work.

“Yahoo!” Saeyoung exclaims, laughing. “We did it, 606! We--”

It happened too fast.

Their car turns around the curve. Saeyoung hasn’t been able to decelerate yet. Besides, he thought the worst was over. What he didn’t expect is another car speeding towards them from the other side of the road.

His eyes widen but before he can warn her, before he can move the car or stop--

When she looks up the sound of crystal shattering echoes and the whole world is spinning, her hands are trying to find him but there’s no way to focus. It’s like she’s flying, inside a twister, she loses control of her body and all she can think of is him… but every thought is replaced by sharp pain. She’s falling and everything hurts before she stops moving, there is a strong metallic taste growing in her mouth, she can smell grass and dirt before her vision blurs and everything goes dark.

In the driver’s seat, Saeyoung lifts his head with a groan. He doesn’t need to touch his head to feel the sticky liquid dripping down his face. One movement lets him know that his entire body is sore, and his eyes are blurry, his glasses shattered on the floor. But the red-headed hacker turns to the passenger seat, finding it empty. However, the windshield in front of her seat is cracked...broken. A large, gaping hole...a human-sized hole.

No.

Saeyoung’s hands hurt when he moves them, his wrist is probably broken. But he manages to unlock the door. He moves his legs but it’s as though all his strength has left him; Saeyoung crumples to the ground outside, his body hitting the pavement. Broken pieces of glass wedge into his skin but he grits his teeth and tries to get up.

No. 606...MC.

He grabs onto the door, trying to pull his body up...and that’s when he notices it. His fingers turning translucent, almost holographic. Saeyoung blinks his eyes, getting the blood out of his eyes in time to see the solid ground turn into strings of codes.

No. Not now. Don’t do this, it’s not supposed to be like this!

The sky turns dark, not because it’s nighttime but because everything goes black. A scream is ripped from his throat as the world around him disappears. Something red flickers in front of him and Saeyoung squints his eyes to read the large, bold letters:

RESET THE GAME?

But something’s wrong. Because underneath it are two options:

[ Yes ]  [ NY𝟄𝕾 ]

Game restarting…

MC blinks a few times before adjusting to the morning light. She stays in bed without moving, yes, overthinking and replaying the dream -- where she holds a warm hand, a beautiful smile lights up her life, soft lips kiss her and a voice says her name once and all over again.

What she would do to make it a reality… but no, her reality is other. In this reality the handsome guy’s missing, he’s replaced by a tyrant, a bleached hair guy who won’t ever say her name the way the boy in her dreams does. A sense of loss washes over her, something she can never understand.

The mirror tells her she had an awful night and her eyebags are as bad as her boss’. While she dries her face MC runs her fingers on the little scar over her left eyebrow, it’s a tiny white line that can go unnoticed easily. Her head hurts trying to remember where she got it, and every time she thinks she’s close to a memory the whole world spins and she’s thrown into darkness.

… and the only light she finds, the only hand she can reach is cold and cruel.

Three knocks on the door warn her that it’s time to go to work, before leaving her room she gets the hideous robe and puts it on and drinks the foul blue elixir. It doesn’t make sense, but she’s accepted her fate, all she knows is that she was bad, she made the wrong choices… she’s getting what she deserves.

“The redhead…” He growls when MC walks into the room, the boy stares at the screen, fingers furiously typing on the keyboard. He glances at her before going back to the computer.

“Get here, I need you to help me with this.” A sinister smile finds his lips. “This will be fun.”

MC turns on her screens. “Ready.”

On the other side of the screen, the red-haired hacker types furiously, getting past another firewall. Lines of code reflect on his glasses and he has to admit, he’s getting a little hungry…

The damp, cold secret passageway they’re hiding in doesn’t help; now 707 wants a warm meal. But he knows that’s a luxury they can’t afford to risk right now. Not when he and Vanderwood are in Mint Eye, trying to save the innocent guests the Savior invited to her little party.

“Madam~” he says in a sing-song voice. Beside him, Vanderwood groans.

“What?”

“I’m hungry.”

Vanderwood sighs. “Ya...to be honest, me too. Alright. I’ll go get us some food. Hopefully those goddamn Believers are all asleep.” The older agent slips on the robe they stole from the supply closet, pulling the black hood over his head. 707 gives him a small salute.

“I’ll watch your back, don’t worry! You know I won’t let anything bad happen to you, Vandy~”

Vanderwood gives him a deadpan look before the older agent moves, heading for the door on the wall that will lead him into one of the hallways in Mint Eye. 707 goes back to his laptop, confused when he sees the other hacker stopped his attacks.

Unknown laughs, he stands behind her, his voice filled with menace. “Now, do a good job for me and lure him just to where I can destroy him. If you do this right I might even give you a reward.”

MC swallows, it’s difficult to hide how frightened he makes her. “Yes, sir.”

[ Believer A606 has entered the chatroom ]

Believer A606: ....

His fingers stop, he freezes.

606…?

His heart constricts at the memory of his love, the love he lost and has been trying to find. But when he woke up to this new reset, he and Vanderwood were already headed to Mint Eye...MC is nowhere to be found, not even among the new players who joined Mint Eye.

But now...this. This can’t be a coincidence.

Hastily, with shaking fingers, 707 enters the messenger.

[ Believer A707 has entered the chatroom ]

Believer A707: Hello?

Her eyes read over the line, one, two… five times before she can move again. Why does it hurt…? It’s such a strange sensation, like she’s found a string, once she can pull at. It makes her anxious, curious, eager… What is happening to her…? There is a lump in her throat and she wants to scream, cry… for help.

MC’s hands are trembling, hands that are always reaching out, searching but never finding… The room starts spinning and she shakes her head trying to focus. Whatever she’s feeling she dismisses it. There are orders she has to obey now…

Believer A606: Believer A707…? Hello...

____________________________

[starlight-drive-in]

Love Gone By

I told myself I wouldn’t write a reset theory fic, but it is @mmangstweek soooo here we go! For Day 4:Reset / 4th Wall Break

MC doesn't exactly recall all the details of the resets but she gets glimpses into her “past lives” with each RFA member when something triggers a memory, like a smell, or a sound or a certain expression or phrase, etc. The others don't recall them (I couldn’t do that to them XD)  she bears the weight on her own while trying her best to enjoy the current “timeline” which in the case she's with Saeran (since he’s currently the last route, but also cuz I’m Saeran trash) and hoping that she won't have to leave him the way she’s apparently had to leave the rest of them. 

----

It was hard for her to spend time with the RFA, even with how much she loved them all. It seemed like every time she spent time with them she would “recall” memories of being with each of them. Memories that felt lifetimes away and yet also felt just like home. She remembered what each of them had been at their best, would see flickers of the ideal version each of them had the potential to become. Each time was so hard on her, but how could she ever tell any of them? She couldn’t do that to them, She couldn’t do that to Saeran. 

-

One time she’d been talking with Yoosung about LOLOL. He had mimicked a character with an eyepatch, closing his left eye and quoting a character line when suddenly her face dropped from its jovial expression into one of stark white seriousness. 

Suddenly, she remembered how hard he had fought for her, how he had tried and ultimately succeeded in keeping her safe. Her eyes darted across the room for a second, landing on someone else. Was it him who had hurt Yoosung? Was it him who Yoosung had gone through all the trouble to protect her from? The sudden realization of irony nearly knocked the wind out of her.

Her eyes focused again on Yoosung, still going off about new buffs and nerfs in the latest patch. He’s such a passionate person, and she knows he’d go to any length for the right person. She knows because in one universe that person had been her. She remembers evenings in his apartment, filled with impassioned ramblings about different animal’s anatomies, and how fascinated he was with his studies. She remembers walking through the park, hand in hand, smiling. 

She remembers waking up, a head of messy blonde hair on one side and a soft grey and white cat on the other. She remembers how hard she cheered for him as we walked across the stage to receive his diploma. She remembers toasting him in congratulations at the party the RFA had thrown for him. She remembers displays of passion in the office of his private practice. She remembers the man he had become with a little love and has to excuse herself to take a walk outside to hide her tears. 

-

And then it was Zen. They were at the debut party for his latest musical. Zen was on cloud nine after a flawless first night. Not even the sight of Jumin entering the room could dull his spirit. As soon as his eyes landed on MC he was bounding over to her, full of energy. 

“Jagiya!” He had called excitedly. God, she really wished he’d stop calling her that because every time he did the memories would flood in. Every time he said it was like an arrow had shot her straight through the heart. She almost wished Saeran would pull the jealous card, tell him that she wasn’t Zen’s ‘Jagiya’. But he never did. She wasn't sure if Saeran just didn't mind, or if he just didn't want to cause an issue. Either way, she could never bring herself to ask Zen to stop herself, selfish as ever.

He pulled her into a tight hug and before she could remind herself to hold her breath she was inhaling the scent of tobacco mixed with his cologne that smells like fresh linen. That, combined with the low murmur of the party guests had her right back in the moment of his press conference. When he had unashamedly told the world about her without a doubt of fear for his career in his mind. 

She remembers how angry he had been at who she now knows as Saeyoung for not telling him where Rika’s apartment was, she remembers biting the hand that she was holding just a moment ago. She remembers gripping Zen’s waist tightly and speeding down city streets, getting far, far away from the man that now shares her bed. She remembers heated moments in make-up trailers and a completely different bed. She remembers scarlet eyes, just centimeters from her own. With the power to hold for hours, simultaneously terrifying and beautiful. She remembers taunting the ‘beast’ just for the thrill of what would come. 

When they separated, her eyes were moist. 

“Jagiya, what's wrong?” Zen soothed, immediately concerned.

“Nothing Zenny,” She choked out “I’m just… so proud of you. You did so well tonight.”

Zen chuckled nervously. “Ah. haha Wel, thank you. I didn't mean to move a woman to tears, but what can I say? I guess I'm just that good.”

She giggled, stepped back, and wiped her eyes as gracefully as possible. “Yes, yes, you are.”

-

Another time she was visiting Jaehee, going over plans for upcoming RFA events. Jaehee had left her momentary. MC figured she just went to go use the bathroom, but when she returned a lovely scent followed her. Jaehee placed down two cups of coffee. Just by the color, MC could tell Jaehee had gotten it just perfect. 

“Delicious,” MC commented taking a sip, hoping to wash down the sudden lump in her throat. 

“I don’t mean to brag, but I believe I can make quite the cup of coffee,” Jaehee said brightly. 

Suddenly a memory of Jaehee swiping a bit of stray frosting from the tip of MC’s nose comes to mind. The Jaehee in her mind giggles magnificently as her long brown locks bounce around her bright, well-rested face. She remembers the way that face had greeted her that morning with a gentle kiss full of love, and a self-realized happiness this timeline’s Jaehee didn’t know. 

Suddenly it was MC who needed to take a trip to the bathroom because she couldn’t let Jaehee see her cry. Jaehee had much to worry about, she didn't need to worry about MC too. 

-

For some reason, whenever MC looks at Jumin she feels sad. He’s always well put together, he always keeps everyone together but who keeps Jumin together? Especially now that no one had heard from V since her and Saeran left Mint Eye. 

It had happened during an RFA meeting. They had become accustomed to hosting the RFA meetings in the conference room off of Jumin’s office. Jaehee and Jumin were always there, and Saeran was often being contracted to help at C&R as of late, so the location made sense. The subject of this meeting wasn’t a party though. The subject of this meeting was Rika and V. 

The RFA was turning over a new leaf, but before they could do that there were a lot of things that had to be explained. Saeran tried his best to piece together his timeline with the rest of the RFA, explaining how he came to be under V and Rika’s care and then eventually just Rika’s care, before transitioning into his memories of the beginning of Mint Eye. Under the table MC squeezed Saeran's hand gently in encouragement, knowing how hard it was for him to talk about this, even if he was getting more used to it.

She glanced over to her other side, where Jumin was seated at the head of the table, the new head of the RFA in V’s absence. Where she was met with a very distraught Jumin, his expression was pained, eye’s closed as his head rested on his left hand, his right hand balled in frustration on the table’s surface. 

Gently with her free hand, she had reached out, touching Jumin’s shoulder in concern. He had opened his eyes abruptly in surprise and stared wide eye-ed at her gesture, before fixing his posture into something rigid and more typical of Jumin Han.  

A moment later he retreated to his office where MC could see him remove a bottle of brown liquor from his bottom desk drawer and poured himself a glass before sitting defeatedly in his desk chair. She let go of Saeran’s hand and patted him on the shoulder, to let him know she’d be back and that he should continue. 

“Jumin?” She had said softly in the threshold of his doorway. “Can I come in?”

He didn’t answer but nodded his head in permission. MC had stood next to him, and leaned her weight against his desk casually. “This is probably a stupid question but, how are you doing?” she asked. 

“Nothing I know makes sense anymore, It is as if my head is in knots,” Jumin replied, taking a healthy drag from his glass. 

That sounded so familiar. She had heard those words before. Her eyes focused past him to the view of the city from outside his office window, and although she can’t recall ever going to his home, she knows it’s almost the same as the view from his penthouse. 

And then she remembers. Days spent in his penthouse, him begging her not to leave, her not wanting to give up on him. She remembers the fear in his eyes, the fear of losing her. She remembers V talking some sense into him, she remembers him on one knee. She remembers V behind a camera wearing a smile as he photographs their wedding. She remembers a honeymoon made for a queen and an agonizingly slow consummation that was so, so worth it in the end. She remembers a small head of black hair and a smile on Jumin’s face that most people wouldn’t even think was possible just before he kisses the crown of his newborn baby boy in her arms. 

Jumin keeps everyone together, but who keeps Jumin together? Once, it had been her. She feels a tear well up in her eye as she thinks maybe she can still be there for him, even in this universe. Even if she can’t bring him the joy she once did, a joy that he isn't even aware could exist. She brushes away the tear and steals herself. 

“I know all this new information about Rika and V is hard for you to hear. Do you want to talk about it?” She asks earnestly. 

His eyes widen in surprise that someone would take a moment to consider his place in this. 

-

Saeyoung was the hardest. Partially because he didn't even have to be there for the memories to come. In fact, she had recalled him before she even met him.

She and Ray we’re sitting across the table from each other in her room when she first arrived at Mint Eye. She had said something silly, she can’t even recall what it was now. That wasn’t what was important anyway. What was important was the way Ray’s face had lit up at whatever it was she had said, the way he laughed wholeheartedly, a brilliant smile gracing his tired face, and then the sudden sense that she had seen that face before, but different? It was like the colors were wrong, but the tired look of adoration he was giving her was the same. The bend of his lips and the way his eyes quirked up on the sides was so familiar it felt like she had known him her entire life, or at least someone who looked shockingly similar. But that didn't make any sense until it did.

She could avoid the faces of the others all she wanted, but she couldn't avoid Saeyoung’s. She couldn’t avoid the sheer fact that Saeran and Saeyoung shared a face. And that sometimes when the light would hit her boyfriend’s face just right when he’d smile just the right way. She’d remember. She’d remember a vastly different version of her current lover - a version that wasn’t her lover at all, but her brother-in-law. She’d remember days in an apartment she’d never been to. She’d remember tip-toeing about the place trying her best not to disturb a certain red-head with glasses. She’d remember breaking down an emotional wall, and a comfortable embrace padded by the many layers of clothes Saeyoung always wore. She’d remember a desperate, passionate night of love-making in which they both ended up in tears, overcome with emotions and fear of what the next day would hold. Not wanting to lose each other.

She’d remember the struggle it was to get Saeran out of Mint Eye, something that seemed vastly foreign to the way he had left on his own in this universe. She remembers hard nights in a bunker that looks similar to the one he lives in now, yet not the same. Holding Saeyoung, reassuring him he was doing everything he could, that he had always done his best. 

She remembers when it got better again. She remembers an endearingly-dorky, digitally voiced, proposal that was so him there was no way it was a false memory. She remembers a 3 person family, and a space-themed wedding. Then a fourth person, She remembers holding her newborn daughter in one arm and her husband's crying face in the other as he whispered “thank you” over and over again through sobs.

She remembers 3 heads of red hair, one smaller than the other two, all cuddled together on the couch, having fallen asleep while watching a movie. She remembers a happy heart and a home full of laughter. 

And a tear would streak down her cheek, she’d try to hide it from Saeran. But there was never any hiding from him. He’d rush to her and hold her gently in his arms ask what was wrong. She’d blame it on something else and sob into the crook of his neck. He wouldn’t push it. He knew some things weren’t easy to discuss, he only hoped that telling her he loved her and that everything would ok would be enough for her. 

-

And then, there was V. No, not V - Jihyun. In the end, he had done all he could for her and Saeran, had tried to right his wrongs. But at what cost? She hated the fact that he went back to Rika. Every bone in her body screamed for her to stop him from sacrificing himself, to go back and drag him out of there. But there was no convincing V, he was surprisingly stubborn despite his gentle appearance. 

The moment she and Saeran had passed over the threshold of that cabin it looked so familiar. She could have sworn she’d been there before, maybe even a few times? But when she mentioned it to Saeran he’s pretty sure that’s impossible. He showed her where they were on his map app and surely enough, she’d never been to this part of the country that she could recall. 

Still, everything in there looked so familiar. She already knew where everything was, knew her way around the place, but how? Her eyes settle on the couch, plain by all accounts but again, too familiar. 

And then it happened, She remembered. She was sitting here on the floor next to this couch. Holding a hand that was cold and damp as anxiety and fear weighed heavily in the room. Other people were here also, but she can’t recall who. Her fingers carded through soft, silky hair that was a beautiful shade of blue-green. It was V. She remembers taking a walk with him and then leaving, she remembers regretting that decision almost instantly and red hot anger. She remembers a phone call with the man currently sitting at the table in this reality that broke her heart. She remembered decisions that were too hard to make, and then an explosion that made her question everything.

She remembers a hospital and then the image of V walking away from her. She remembers a very lonely two years and the image of Saeyoung crying. And then she remembered an RFA party, the way her heart soared at a familiar voice and then V’s face. 

“Please, call me Jihyun now.” He had said to her. The Jihyun in her mind looks vastly different from the man she had met that week in the current timeline. This Jihyun was happy and healthy. 

She remembers brother’s hugging and a huge relief. She remembers the face of her current lover marred, but beautiful as ever. She remembers Saeyoung crying again, but this time not in grief. She remembers a proud look on Jihyuns face as he watched the scene, a tear of happiness welled up in his eye. 

She remembers a slow, sweet romance between her and Jihyun. She remembers watching him learn to love again. She remembers laughing and slinging paint at each other in his studio and a long-awaited kiss that quickly turned into a wonderful out-pouring of emotions. She didn’t even know V painted… 

She remembers Sunday dinners with Jihyun, Saeran, and Saeyoung, in a modern style house with so many windows they didn't even have to turn on a light. She remembers a sense of forgiveness around that table so abundant she gasped. She remembers a small girl, full of energy as she talked about her many uncles. She didn't give birth to her she knows, but she had loved her all the same. She remembers lazy mornings in an unbelievable comfortable bed and Jihyun’s smiling face.

She gasps out loud as a sob had broken over her. Luckily Saeran was busy talking to the intelligence unit and hadn’t heard her. How could she even have begun to explain what she saw in her mind’s eye? She would learn to get used to this in time to come. 

-

She doesn't understand how any of this is even possible, the universe can be so cruel. She loves the RFA, each and every one of them, in a way she can never explain to them. There's nothing she can do about it except support them each in this current world and hope someday another person would make each of them happy the way she had once done. She hopes that all of them can be safe and happy in the end.

She looks over at her boyfriend, knowing this is the best version of him and hopes she never has to see him any of the other ways she knows are possible ever again. 

[ivy-chan24]

A letter to V

[Based on Jumin Bad Story Ending3]

If I had written this letter 10 days ago, I would have started with Dear Jihyun….. But this is not the case. The purpose of this letter is to set a total end to our friendship. All the moments we shared, the memories we made, the years we spent together and the trust I had on you….. Everything had gone the same moment you took MC away from me.

YOU promised she would be fine….. YOU said you would protect her….. YOU gave me your word that the issue with the hacker was solved…. And stupid old friend Jumin trusted you, ignoring my instincts.

HOW COULD I BE SO BLIND? HOW COULD I TRUST YOU?

You know why???……. Because I thought you were real. I thought you had good intentions. I wanted to believe that YOU WOULD NEVER LIE TO ME………. I blame myself for being fooled like that. If only I had followed  my instincts, MC would still be here by my side. We could have shared a complete life together, full of love and understanding.

But now, thanks to your selfishness, SHE’S GONE!!!! 

Are you wondering if I’m blaming you? Let me answer, YES, I AM. 

I blame you for every lie you told me, for every lie you’ve told the RFA, and I blame you for MC's death…. If you were willing to hide your trash, YOU should have exploded in that damn apartment. Why dragging an innocent woman to her grave.?

You can apologize one million times, but that  can’t bring her back to me…. Nothing can…..No one can……..

This is a farewell letter. I don’t want to see you again. I don’t want to hear from you ever again. 

I don’t wish you good. I don’t wish you bad.

I just wish, you understand what you have done. And, as for me, I will try to continue with my life being the prominent heir for C&R, but in the solitude of my house, I WILL ALWAYS REGRET my stupid blind trust towards a twisted pathetic liar whom I used to call… my friend.

[For @mmangstweek - Prompt Day 1: Regret]

[mmangstweek]

Guidelines

Angsty Rules:

Okay: 

Share/submit/post: Fics, Poems, Art, Playlists, Moodboards or any creative output (As long as it follows the rules)

Reset Theory can apply any of the MysMe characters.

OC’s welcome.

Character Ships OK (JuminV, YooSeven, etc)

NSFW -- Make sure it’s under the line/cut.

Triggers should be labeled; death, drugs, violence, etc.

You can participate in all days, multiple entries per day allowed.

Collabs are okay.

Reminder that angsty plots can have happy endings too!

NOT Okay:

Reposting other people’s works/editing their works without permission.

Incest

Gore

Abuse, Non-Consent/Rape

Suicide

Overdue posts will still be reblogged, please make sure you add the Prompt Day and tag @mmangstweek. We reserve the right to not reblog posts that don’t follow this blog’s rules. 

We will reblog works until September 30!