My life right now...

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My life right now...
Exhausted
I’m physically and mentally exhausted right now. Trying to figure out getting insurance cause I don’t have it right now, hoping nothing happens till I’m on insurance again, which also costs money, my poor dog is going for a chest X-ray to check the heart murmur. I’ve been freaking out since I found out. My dog is literally like my son and has helped me emotionally all his life and he’s only 7. On top of that the X-ray costs money I don’t have. I need to find a better paying job so I can actually afford all my bills and rent. I hate that my boyfriend has to pay most but he is supportive and believes in me. Also has a wayyyy better job than I do. He makes video games. A technical artist. But still I want to help out more. I need to figure out if I can get dental and eye insurance because I need that but I know that’s even more money I don’t have. I’m so tired all the time. I’m stressed, overwhelmed, and my body hurts even more from being so tense. I really hope everything turns out okay. I really do.
My head hurts
Life is just a big fucking sick game. I didn’t ask to play but someone decided I should. It’s like the things and people that freaking make life enjoyable, you can’t even do the things or spend time with the people, because you have other things to do and worry about. Not that you want to be doing these things but all those before us decided things had to be the way they are, so yet they are. I’m just tired™. Can’t health right because I don’t have the monies. Can’t even eat right to help my health cause i can’t afford foood but rice and beans when I really need them Good ol’ Greens ™ . I quit my better paying job like a dumb ass but it was causing me sooooooooooooooooo much stress and anxiety and I just didn’t feel like appreciated or human at all. I was going to have to leave anyways in like a month when I start school, but I should have figured something out. I have another job now, which I honestly like but I took like a 5 dollar pay cut AND i work waaaay less hours so you can imagine that I need another job. I need a new fucking car. Like money would solve so many of the things that are stressing me out. To an extent. ya feel?
Money probs
Too embarrassed to say I don't have enough money to go out so I just tell my friends I'm grounded
It's comforting to know that at one point Beyoncé had to worry about her bills, bills, bills.
Becoming a better person #1:
I'm trying to rid myself of any detrimental distractions, mainly people. My best friend since high school has become a complete and total downer to my life. She's cheap. She's overly anxious (a difficulty with which I struggle as well). Most importantly, despite being cheap, she only ever wants to do things that require spending money, or me doing her a favor. This sounds like gossip, and it probably is, but I love her, and I don't want to let her go. She has contributed incalculably to who I am as a person, and we have shared so many experiences together. I'm just past the point where her negative contributions to my overall state of being outweigh the positive.
Am I a bitch?
April 30, 2016 It's suuuuper early but I went to sleep with enough alcohol in my system that my sleep cycle is out of whack. Donnie and Lorna's wedding was yesterday! It's finally over! As much as I complained about it I actually enjoyed myself. We spent the night out at their mom's house last night and Talton and I got up at 8 and basically worked out in the yard all day to get ready for it. I decorated that arbor and put together the bouquet and I'm pretty happy with how they turned out! I'm going to dry the bouquet for her and maybe put it in a box. The wedding turned out very pretty. Not my taste, but very pretty. The ceremony was quick and to the point and the reception was nice. Now that it's over ours seems even closer. I also feel like I need to add a few people to our guest list, part of me wants to say the more the merrier and the other part of me is freaking out over the budget. I just have to keep it under control. Speaking of budget, Talton got an awesome pay check on Thursday and as of today it is almost gone. It's Saturday folks. It's 6 am on Saturday and all of that money is gone already. I'm trying not to stress about it too much but it's hard. He worked last Saturday so that we could have some extra to get on our feet better and pay rent without things getting as tight as they do but that's gone out the window. I am happy to say that the bills are paid up pretty much, I need to put money on a couple of credit cards but I should be able to handle that with my little pay check from Trinity. I'm a little worried that we aren't going to be able to go grocery shopping the way we might need to though. All the other money went to silly stuff and I'm trying to be cool. I know I spent a lot of money on clothes here lately but I put them on a card that has no effect on our finances as a unit. It's a card that doesn't have a very high limit and I'm responsible for paying it off. He spent over half his lunch money on a stupid cooler that we don't need and it will have an effect on our finances as a unit. We will have to make that up somewhere. We also shouldn't have gone out to eat Thursday night, we should have gone to the gym instead. And I should have paid more attention to how much I spent on the flowers and the ribbon for them, somehow the ribbon almost cost $20. And I don't mind spending some money for them but holy crap $20 for ribbon. I will give Talton props for only spending $40 at the casino, he went out with Hunter tonight (who won and lost $600) and Talton only used $40. That's still $100 on frivolous things. It will be ok, we will make this work. But rent is going to be a little late and that is bothering me.
im not going to use my overdraft
every student ever