#mortality cw

[probablybadrpgideas]

Everyone makes a death saving roll once a day just to represent the horrifying entropy that subsumes every moment of our lives.

[valorcorrupt]

I figured out why that anon stung me so bad and it's just Grief in a Mean Hat.

If you were that anon, I am genuinely sorry that you are having a bad time and that people enjoying each other's company is making you feel less than. That really sucks, and it's hard. And it's HUMAN. All I can say is that building community is the answer. Finding people who believe you're special starts with investing in others. Spending time nurturing relationships, and caring about what other people have going on.

I know it's hard to feel like you're being looked over. I know it hurts. But don't take it out on people on anon. The best way to deal with pain is to show kindness to the people around you. I promise that saying kind things even when you're struggling to see anything nice in yourself is a better way to feel good than sending anons to people.

[chelledoggo]

hundreds of years from now, when you're long gone and your bones have turned to dust, nobody will care if you were "cringe" or not.

relax. 💖

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

Frank, I'll never forget when you made fun of me for getting lost in the state park, or going to the beach to read about trains. So long and goodnight. I'll miss you putting me on blast

Here's your chance to become a stand-up comic!

It is a terrible thing, what you do, and I will miss it greatly.

Good luck with your future exploits.

[mimiscoiningcafe]

Mortician - A headmate who helps the system cope with death, whether it be fronting during times of grieving or helping comfort during mortality spirals.

Coined for my own system!

Tag List: @mogai-sunflowers, @heart-valentin3, @fagdykefrank, @dreamythism, @cosmilky, @dstriderr, @radiomogai, @pluralterms

[whatagrump]

right before going to bed last night i had one of those moments where, for no real reason at all, you truly feel the inevitability of your own death and panic and dread flood your body in a way that makes you realize that the rest of the time you’re just sequestering this thought in the deepest corner of your brain for your own sanity :/

[ineffable-endearments]

Some of the denial - we’re not friends, I don’t know him, we’ve never met, I don’t even like you - is obviously based on trying to preserve safety. Some is based in programming from Heaven.

But I also think some of it is based, rather ironically for an angel, in despair - the belief that he should not be nurturing a relationship that’s bound to end in tragedy.

Because Aziraphale and Crowley both live their lives as if the world is going to go on forever, but they know it won’t. They don’t know exactly when, but they know that it’s eventually supposed to end in a climactic battle between their Sides. And Aziraphale does not think there is anything he can do about it. Heaven always, as far as he’s seen, gets their way.

It’s the whole “don’t get too attached” thing. Were Aziraphale honest about his friendship, if he shared the depth of his caring for Crowley, it would be that much more painful when the war came. It would be immensely painful for Aziraphale, but it really wouldn’t be doing Crowley any favors, either; is it worse to lose a convenient coworker who you sort of liked, or to lose an intimate friend you’ve bonded with like nobody else? How many people choose not to nurture a close relationship with someone if they know in the foreseeable future they’re going to have to leave that person forever? It’s like choosing not to date someone you’re attracted to because you know you’re moving across the country in a few months.

Of course, all human relationships end in either separation or death. But humans, unless they also happen to be on two sides of a great war, can dream of dying on good terms, comforted by each other, which would not happen for an angel and a demon. We also are blessed(??) with relative shortsightedness, the ability to simply not grapple with the inevitable (until just before it comes). I’m not sure if immortals, given that they don’t have definitive ends to their lives, have the same perspectives.

Because of all this, Aziraphale spends quite a bit of time BOUND and DETERMINED to be happy with the Great Plan. It is going to be QUITE LOVELY, because it has to be or else what the Hell is existence? Horrible, and there’s nothing he can do about it.

This is another interesting piece of tension in 1967. As far as Aziraphale knows, by intervening now, he is probably just prolonging the inevitable! But he does it anyway, because he cares too much about Crowley not to intervene if he has the ability, and because somewhere in there, even if he doesn’t actually see how it could be possible, he wants so badly to believe they can be together someday.

Thankfully for them and us, they can.

[mawbwehownets]

roger: [...] i mostly...... i just take a lot of naps?

tim: [laughs] naps are like trade stops for your emotions.

roger: uh-huh.

tim: they need time to get on and off.

roger: when it gets a little bit too... too real... a lil bit too hifey. in my life. my lifey. ill just take a quick... quick naparoo. um, cause like - yknow what? it worked when i was 4, and im 20 - 26 now, and it still works pretty goddamn well. and i wake up and m friends like ‘how you doin?’ and the answers always ‘great!’ so. i guess its-

masky: [laughs] yknow, my husband has just taught me, i had no idea - so much of my emotions... are hunger based. like i had no idea - i think when we were in louisville we stopped for lunch, it was like a really late lunch at like 3 o’clock and im eatin a sandwich, hoodys like ‘do you feel better?’ i was like ‘yeah! what, wait - why???’ he was like ‘well youve just been kinda frustrated for the last two hours.’ i was like ‘oh, no, its just cause we couldnt the place we-’ he was like ‘no, its cause youre hungry.’ ‘s like oh! youre right. just needed sandwich. needed a dose of vitamin sandwich.

roger: yup, you got me... we are a bunch of fuckin. eat-beasts.

tim: yeap. we have a problem.

roger: we’re a bunch of monsters - i dont have like... i really do think i dont have that many complex emotions! i dont wanna sound like im like a free spirit or whatever over here, but like... i never feel like i have emotions that are too complex to describe. it usually really is like... ‘how are you roger’ ‘i dont know, kinda bored’, like...

tim and masky: [laugh]

roger, amused: im not joking! like im not like... ‘i just been thinking about death a lot lately-’ its really mostly like - ‘eh i dont know cat woke me up last night so im a lil bit sleepy’

tim: well, that could be the problem roger, i - i think about death a lot.

masky: you should think about death n stuff! 

tim: you should think about death more -

roger: hold on, let me give it a shot - [exaggerated horror] OOOOH MY GOD, OH NO!

masky, laughing: go take a nap! roger go take a nap!

roger: NO ITS ALL GONNA STOP ONE DAY! ITS ALL JUST GONNA STOP ONE DAY! OHHHH NO NO NO NOOOOOO

tim, chuckling: and thats what your 30s are like, constantly.

roger: IM NOT GONNA BE HERE ONE DAY ITS JUST GONNA STOOOOPPPp

tim: [starts laughing]

roger: i need a naaAp

tim, still laughing: yknow that could be - could be a good thing to do during a wedding ceremony

masky and roger: [laugh]

roger: you two, ive known you your whole lives, youre so perfect for eachiTS ALL GONNA STOP ONE DAYYY NOoo no nooooo...

tim: [choked] roger, youre joking - do you know how many times [fighting back laughter] ive had that exact, like... mid conversation-

roger: [starts laughing]

tim: like - we’ll be talking about like ghost horses and shit and im like, ‘yeah and another thing about - ooOOOOH GOD IM GONNA DIE’

masky: [laughs] i actually had that conversation with someone, last night!

tim: ITS ALL GONNA STOop thinking about it, CAKE BOSS, RIGHT GUYS? GOOFS AND GOOFS AND GOOFS AND GOOFS.

roger: [losing it]

tim: we’re the ones that distract you from death, WHO IS TO DISTRACT US!!! NO ONE!