#mywriitng

[archivist-of-almost-lives]

“And, it feels like I’ve known you from some time before. Like, you left a porch light on for me in another life.”

-m.n. | “Stay, even when it’s rainy.”

[mirrorworld12]

I have this gaping hole inside me that seems to get bigger with each passing moment. I don't know when did it start taking so much space inside of me but nowadays all I can feel is its presence. Everything else has become too small. Most of the time I am busy wrapping my head around the hollowness I feel. My soul keeps hiding in corners of my own body. Maybe it is scared of getting lost in the darkness this hollowness brings. Nights are too long to sleep away. Most of the time I am wide awake hearing the noise my loneliness make. The path I had chosen is taking me towards the unknown. I don't know if I should continue or keep on walking. For now, all I can say is fear is taking over my being. I might end up surviving this or I might end up living it for a few seconds and then getting lost forever. Whatever it brings I hope I become peace at the end.

Ayana Arora

[slo7iii]

[aubreeno]

Night Shift Gothic

The automatic doors open. Don't turn around to greet whatever walked in until you count to three. Bad luck not to.

The clock in the register seems stuck. It was 10:48 six minutes ago right?

Be polite! When ringing up the souls of the living you must be polite. Manners are crucial for the late shift.

The young couple that just walked in were carrying a baby basket. You think the baby was not a baby it all. After all the blanket did growl.

The lights don't stay on in the back room. Clock in and out quick.

Don't come around to counter to ring up a customer until you ask them. Don't.

Smile. Smile so much you can't remember why you would ever frown.

The uniform is unflattering at best but learing eyes think other wise. Make sure you shut that cabinet behind the counter.

Don't forget to Smile.

Sharp teeth and bitter eyes are the norm.

Leg pain builds character.

The doors. Don't. Look. At. The. Doors.

Smile.

It's 10:49.

Eleven more minutes. You hoped.

Eleven more minutes to what?

It's a bit odd how the total keeps ringing up with $6.66. Must be a sale on.

When calling to the back make sure intercom is off. Don't want the customers to hear the manager.

No one is allowed to speak to the manager.

No one.

Smile!

[pulsing-ink]

You know, I was doing just fine. Sure the water was starting to boil over a little, and there were some plants that needed watering. I'll be the first to admit that the dust was getting too thick and the floors needed mopping. I was just going to take the trash out, I really was getting around to it. Things were messy, but I had a handle on it. Everything was okay.

Until you barged in. You with your sugary smugness and electrifying nonchalance, your goofy veneer of wit and laughter. It was as if you hadn't even been gone, like the place was yours and nothing had changed. You noticed the new curtains and the different shade of paint on the walls, complimented them even, as if I had asked. You took from the fridge and wiped your muddy boots all over the floors. You had the nerve to light a goddamn match and enjoy a fat cigar. You filled my vision with thick plumes until I couldn't breathe, laughed when I couldn't find the strength to speak. And then you left.

Now everything is on fire, everything is up in flames and collapsing all around me.

I was doing fine.

Why did you have to come back and destroy it all over again?

[endlessprogression]

Maybe God's not Worthy of me

Maybe god got lost while trying to find me,

and as I scream his name in hopes that it'll be the beacon that helps him find his way,

it only forces my voice to go hoarse,

transforming my screams into murmurs,

murmurs into cries wedged in between pain,

the combination creates hymns that only go as far as a whisper.

Tears fall down as I sing his name.

No longer do I have a voice,

yet my lips still move,

hoping that the soft push of air

will be enough to compel a wind so strong

that it will shift the current of his body towards me,

and that he will finally be in reach to save me.

But my voice is not strong enough,

and maybe I'm not worthy of his presence so he purposely walks in the opposite direction,

ignoring my suffering while I only live for his praise,

so maybe I'm beneath him,

and he only sees me as a defect, scarred, imperfect--god's mistake.

And even though I call him father,

He's abandoned me,

So maybe I should forsake him

and grow into a being more powerful than god,

so that he could appreciate my value as he bows down to me,

and maybe I'll humble him by forcing him to get on his knees and wash my feet.

For though I only desire his love,

maybe the journey to that is his defeat.

And if I ever was to takeover his seat,

Dare I say that I'd be a better god than He.

Dare I say that I'd be a father, worthy of his seed.

[bookshelfwritingz-blog]

Just when I think I’m over you I’m free You show up in sleep’s embrace And I throw everything away for you once Again.

cred: @bookshelfwritingz

[archivist-of-almost-lives]

“I want to take my heart off my sleeve, it has grown too heavy.”

-m.n.