#namjoonfluff

[minangelo]

Moonchild Masterlist | Kim Namjoon

Series: Moonchild

Universe: We are Idol

Pairing: Kim Namjoon x Female!OC

Rating: m (18+)

Genre(s): Fluff, Angst, Smut, (Other would be added on each chapter)

Warning(s): Stated on each chapter

Summary: A love journey with Namjoon maybe wouldn't be as smooth as you thought. Starting before his pre-debut until now...

Status: On progress...

Started on: ... Last update: ... Finished on: ...

A/n: The series would be posted non-chronologically, but I will put them in timeline order on this masterlist

CHAPTER(S):

☽ Where did you come from? - Coming soon...

☽ ???

☽ ???

EXTRA(S):

Moodboard

Playlist: ☽ Namjoon ☽ Minjung ☽ Moonchild ☽

Universe

ABOUT MY OC(S):

☽ Yun Min Jung ☽ Han Joon Woo ☽ Lee Yong Sun ☽ Na Dong Yul ☽ Moonlitee ☽

[sincerelynamkook]

Sunday Morning

Namjoon x You

Genre: Smut

Word Count: 1552

Playlist: “Moments” by One Direction / “Suit Up” by Jonghyun 

Imagine waking up on a rainy Sunday morning expecting to wake up next to the love of your life but he’s not there...

The rain drops creating a melody against your window wake you from your slumber on a sunday morning. You reach out your arm to the other side of the bed looking for his warmth. When you don’t find it you whimper and lift your head from under the covers. You barely open your eyes to look around the room for him, but when you realize he’s not in your bedroom you decide to get up and find him. 

You’re already coming up with scenarios in your mind of what he’s up to. “If he’s in his studio working on our day off I’m gona kick his ass” you think to yourself as you angrily put on your slippers and his black t-shirt that’s on the floor. You walk out to the room and bump into Monie who wants you to rub his belly. You entertain yourself with him for a few minutes until he’s had enough of you and then runs back out to the yard. 

You continue your trek inside the house, looking in the kitchen adorned with wooden and rustic elements. You don’t find him there but you make a quick stop for some coffee when you see he made some. 

You continue on your quest and go down to his studio but are surprised when you see the lights are off meaning he’s not there. “Hmm interesting” you think. You walk back upstairs and that’s when you hear a soft soothing sound coming from the second floor. You walk up the steps and realize the sound is coming from his office. You walk towards the door slowly, as to not make a sound, when you recognize the song playing. It’s the song you sang to him when you first told him “I love you”. The chorus of “Moments” by One Direction starts to play and you can hear him singing along in his soft voice. Your heart starts to beat faster as you remember that special day. 

You slowly open the door and peek inside. He’s sitting on his dark brown leather chair in the corner facing the window. His bare feet are resting on the matching ottoman. He’s in the grey sweatpants and white T-shirt that he was wearing last night before things got hot and heavy.  His right hand is holding a book open while his left hand is holding his mug of coffee. By the looks of it, it seems that he’s been up for a while seeing as he’s almost done with the book. 

He has a focused look on his face. His eyebrows are scrunched up together, jaw slightly clenched. He’s so engrossed in the information he’s learning he doesn’t notice you walk up behind him until you softly run your fingers over his jaw. He startles and turns to face you. 

“Morning my love” he whispers as he grabs your arm to bring you closer to him. You sit on his lap and kiss his jaw. 

“I missed you this morning.” You say as you cuddle closer to him. He wraps one arm around you, hand landing on your thigh. Kissing your forehead he says “you were sleeping so soundly I didn’t wana wake you. I know I must’ve worn you out last night.” You snicker, playfully slapping his chest. You feel the rumble of his laughter against your head that’s lying on his chest. 

“Read to me.” You tell him to which he asks you if you’re really interested in hearing about an art critic. 

“You could be reading the assembly instructions of Ikea furniture and I’d still be interested. Your voice is like a soothing lullaby” 

“Well okay then.” He clears his throat and starts to read in a very dramatic deep voice making you giggle. “Okay, how about this?” He clears his voice again and starts to read in a high pitched falsetto voice. 

“Stop, please,” you say in between laughter. He laughs with you and puts the book down. 

“Seeing as you’re now fully awake, what do you say we go make some breakfast?” He asks as he gets up from the chair while carrying you. 

“And by ‘we’ you mean ‘me’ right?” You taunt as he puts you down. “We just finished remodeling the kitchen, I don’t wana burn it down again” you say as you walk backwards out the office knowing he’s about to come after you. 

“Cmon! It was ONE TIME!” you hear him yell as you run down the stairs. He catches up to you by the time you make it to the kitchen and he picks you up from behind. You screech, knowing what he’s about to do as he walks you over to the sink. 

“Namjoon, don’t you fucking dare!” You protest, but fail to prevent what’s coming next.

Turning on the faucet, he grabs the small hose and starts to spray you. Laughing, you struggle in his arms trying to get out from his embrace. You manage to turn around only to notice how drenched you both are. You see Namjoon’s white t-shirt is stuck on him like second skin. His chest is heaving from the adrenaline and sexual tension between you. His arm is still wrapped around your waist. You feel him tighten his hold on you as he pushes you closer to him, so close your breaths start to intermingle with each other. 

With one hand still around your waist, he grabs your face with the other and gives you a heated kiss. Tongues start to dance to a rapid beat. Your hands instantly go to his Namtiddies, feeling his strength when he grabs your ass with his hands to pick you up and place you on the island. 

Your hands are now in his hair, legs wrapped around his waist. His sweatpants doing nothing to conceal the bulge in his pants. 

“Pants. Off.” You manage to get out in between kisses. He obliges, but doesn’t want to remove himself from you so he ends up struggling a bit. “Seriously bro.” You huff, pushing his chest a little so he takes a step back. You manage to help him remove his pants and you also remove your panties. 

Once your both naked, he doesn’t waste one second in beginning to taste your skin. You feel his soft plump lips kiss his way up from your calves, to your thigs, all the way to your center. 

At this point, you’re not sure if you’re wet from the water or from being so aroused. The moment you feel his tongue lick your core you throw your head back and let out a guttural moan. You can feel his smirk and that only makes you more wet. 

He licks and sucks with a rhythm, almost as if he was making music with your body. His strong veiny hands are wrapped around your thighs, holding you in place, squeezing you tightly everytime he hears you let out a moan. He’s rock solid, desperate to feel your walls clench around him but he loves having the taste of you in his mouth.

After giving your pussy enough attention with his mouth, he makes his way up your body, kissing your skin as he goes. Reaching your breasts, he takes one nipple in his mouth and sucks on it while his free hand squeezes the other. You’re feeling out of control with the overstimulation happening to your body. You run your hands through his hair, pulling it tightly until you hear that popping noise when he releases your nipple. 

“You. Now,” you say to him.

He thrusts his tongue into your mouth, making sure you taste yourself on his tongue. You moan as your hand squeezes in between your bodies to grab his dick and align it with you. He takes the hint and pushes into you, making you both gasp and moan loudly. 

He starts to thrust. Hard. Fast. Hard. Fast. He knows he’s hit your g-spot when he feels your nails biting into his back, leaving scratch marks that’ll last for days. 

“Baby, I’m close” you manage to whisper amidst his harsh fucking. 

“Good, cause so am I” he grunts. Grabbing your leg, he places it over his shoulder and with that better angle he has you cumming in no time. 

You both shout in relief, moaning gibberish. He falls on top of you and you both just lay on the island until you catch your breath.

Kissing your chest, he lifts himself and looks down at you. The look of complete and utter bliss on your face makes him smile, displaying those dimples that make you weak. He helps you get off the island and once your feet are on the floor he makes sure to hug you tight, whispering sweet nothings in your ear. 

“I love you” he soothingly says. 

“I love you too” you whisper in his ear as you give him a soft kiss on his neck. ‘“But if you think I’m cooking after that, you’re out of your mind.” 

He laughs that deep belly laugh, throwing his head back. The amount of joy radiating from both of you in that moment is enough to make anyone jealous. 

“Let’s go crash Jin hyung’s house and make him cook for us.” he says with a mischievous smile. 

“Now that’s music to my ears.” 

[kangmochii]

Title: Perfect timing

Pairing: Namjoon x Reader, a little bit of everyone

Genre: Fluff, Angst? Bestfriends turned into lovers?

Summary: A little bit of you falling inlove with Namjoon.

Authors note: I am sorrry for the incorrect grammar such being English not my first language I tend to have hard time editing grammar and everything. This came unto me while I was in working and actually spent the whole day writting about this. Please tell me if you like it. I am trying to gain my confidence back in my writting. Take care of yourself and be happy all the time 🤗😘

**************************************************************

“Is Namjoon coming?” Your room mate Taehyung asked one Friday afternoon. You were preparing dinner for the guys who usually hangs in your place (because it’s bigger than our place – Jin quipped one time) it was actually a blessing that you were free that day. Fridays are worst at the hospital and there were so many people coming – but the medical director said you can go and take a rest and you’re planning to spend it with the boys whom you treat like brothers. It started with just you and Namjoon then you met Taehyung while you were in college. He was also an aspiring doctor that time that became your emotional support when Namjoon is away which end up with you and Namjoon arguing about it. The fighting only stopped when he found out that Taehyung was dating Jungkook, a cute freshman that time. The three of you hung out as much as you can Namjoon appearing when he can, often bringing Yoongi – his quiet roommate who dates this cheerful boy Jimin which made the atmosphere lighter when you guys hung around. Jin entered your lives in a different manner since he was your neighbour. You always thought he was dating his roommate but after a couple of teas and random passing in the corridors you realized that he doesn’t and in fact he and Hobi are childhood friends and nothing else. Your love for these boys and your best friend will always be limitless. But it will always be different with Namjoon. He is and always be special. It has been like this ever since you were kids. You were always like Namjoon’s little sister, you were always crying in his arms when one of the girls bullied you, or that time when both of you were in high school and you were crying in his arms because of a boy. It was extremely difficult for you when you guys went to different colleges- you pursuing Medicine and him going to a music school, but there was always this promise that you won’t let each other down. That is when you realized that you had actually fallen in love with your best friend.

“Stop asking me about it. You know he is coming and brining that girl again.” You replied to Tae- a little too harsh but you felt guilty as soon as you saw his face fell sad. “I’m sorry hun, you know how I feel about him dating her I’m happy for him but I just feel a little uncomfortable about her.” Maybe it’s because of your feelings for your best friend that you pushed away because you’re scared of or maybe you’re scared because she knows. She knows a little too much that’s why whenever you’re around she pulls Namjoon a little closer but Namjoon doesn’t and it makes you crazy. “I’m sorry for bringing it up, y/n. but you can’t blame him if he doesn’t know what you feel for him. Jungkook keeps on telling me that he knows that Namjoon likes you but you kept on thinking about ruining your friendship.”

“I know. I can’t exactly blame anyone in this matter. It’s just a lot to handle you know. I barely see him nowadays. He’s always in her place or with her or doing god knows what with her.”

“If he doesn’t bring her with him tonight you have to tell him, y/n.” Taehyung said hugging you.

As you continue to ramble on the door opened with a loud thud and a lanky figure came with it “I bought soju!” Jin quickly entered with Hobi next to him rambling about chips and their new fishing adventure (which ended up Jin failing to catch a single fish) hanging out with the guys is very comforting and fun in a way. You don’t get to be overdramatic with them because they know and they understand. At some point of your intertwined live you suspect that everyone knows what you felt about your bestfriend but nobody said anything about it. Except Taehyung. While you were preparing dinner you heard Namjoon came in with Yoongi and the other guys with more chicken and beer and everyone was happy to experience a little comfort after a hardwork that week.

As soon as dinner was finished you and the guys were seated at the living room watching a horror flick that Jungkook pick (“come on hobi hyung done be scared!”) and you were nestled against Namjoon trying to savour these last moments because his girlfriend isn’t there you should feel guilty because you were pining over someone who was in a relationship but theres nothing to be guilty about since he is your bestfriend.. right?

In the middle of the movie, Namjoon could feel you getting nervous as the scenes progresses but shows nothing instead he just snaked his armed around you and hugged you closer “you okay, babe?” he whispered earning a soft “hmm” from you. He felt you melt in his touch – something that he missed for a long time ago. “I missed you. We haven’t done this for a long time” he quickly said.

“I know. It’s been like this since you’re busy with her”

“Do I sense a bit of jealousy here?” Namjoon shockingly asked.

“Of course she is you dumbass. She likes you.” Out of nowhere yoongi’s strained voice appeared and then you realized that he was cuddling with Jimin and everyone was watching your little interaction with Joon.

“Hyung. You should talk with y/n. she might tell you something.” Jungkook suddenly said earning a yes from Taehyung.

“Yah. Go talk to her. Im tired of listening to her bitching ass everyday because of this. And Im also tired of listening to rants, joonie. Settle this in the room and we will be here watching this stupid movie Jungkook picked” Jin said.

“Let’s talk, y/n” Namjoon quickly pulled you to your room.

Your room doesn’t really have much- study table with a chair and a bed, just a few pictures of your family and your friends, the boys with you on a beach last summer and a picture of you and Namjoon in your college graduation. Namjoon quickly sat on your bed and said “in all seriousness, y/n what the hell is happening? Tell me everything. No secrets and any bullcrap. You know that I klnow when you lie”

“What do you want me to tell you?”

“What were the boys telling out there?”

“What were they talking about you earlier too?” you shot back suddenly annoyed with all the questions.

“Tell me first then I’ll tell you.” He replied.

You took a deep breath and reminded yourself that this is now or never,. Whatever yopu will say here will change your friendship with him and eventhough you were scared in your wits you pulled hyourself together and tell him the words you were dreading to tell him since day one.

“I love you, Joon.” You quickly mumbled

“what?” he stool there mouth hanging open.

“I know it seems stupid for me too. Im sorry that I fell inlove with you. It wasn’t something I planned and something that I wanted. I know were good friends and I don’t want to ruin it because of this. I also know you’re dating her which makes it more stupid than ever but I swear joon I don’t want our friendship to end because of this” tears cant stop falling from your face this time. It felt like a dam opening lots of feelings how many years did you try to hide it from him? All those touches? All those smiles? Who wouldn’t fall inlove with Kim Namjoon? He was beyond perfect and he was the perfect bestfriend for you.

“When did it start?” Namjoon asked.

“I don’t know. These things don’t have a starting date you know.”

“Has been like this since last year?”

“2 years ago I guess. It was around the time I got my physicians license.” You smiled sadly. Fondly remembering how you guys celebrated when you and taehyung passed the physicians licensure examination. “Why haven’t you told me?”

“How could I tell you I was in love with you? How can I ruin our friendship? I know you only see me as a friend and nothing else. I’d rather have this feelings hidden instead of losing you, you know.” You sad beside him and grabbed the Ryan plushie he got you last time.

He chuckled sadly and looked at your straight into the eye “I guess its time we both come clean, huh?”

“What do you mean?”

He cleared his throat and said “I loved you ever since, y/n. before you going to medical school, before you crying because a guy hurt you way back high school. I guess ever since we were kids; I always have this thing about you. Then thing is, I can’t really pursue you that time since you were so determined to be a doctor so I decided to just help you and be there along the way – or maybe that’s what I was telling myself that time but seeing you right now all grown up and smartass makes me want you more but it got me more afraid because why would you like me? You’re a doctor, I’m just someone who makes music with his friends and sells it for a couple of bucks. You wouldn’t want me because I was just a jerk who comes here every now and then to make you smile and eat your food since you buy too many. I was a nobody, y/n and about her; you know that we broke up months ago right? Finally got the guts to tell her that I’m not really into her I guess she finally caught me since she told me she knew it was you all along.”

“That’s the most stupid reason I heard, and stop eating the food I kept on buying for Taehyung and Jungkook. You know they eat like Vikings “ you said. Can’t believe what was just happening right now.

“So that makes us both stupid, huh” Namjoon smiled at you showing his dimples.

You giggled and hugged him this time all the worries in world forgotten. What matters as of now is his smile and his lips leaning into yours and feeling his lips better than you imagined. Then suddenly

“YAH DON’T HAVE SEX WHILE WERE HERE!!” a loud voice shouted from outside which you guess was Hobi along with “I’m glad this is finally settled. Im tired of hearing Namjoon whine about her”

Then you realized, this is the perfect timing for the both of you. <3

**************************************************************

Can someone tell me how to make the (read more) link thing? I am editing on my phone as of the moment and I cant seem to find it. 😅 tysm, my loves! 😍

[minty-minmin]

[My little Sunflower🌻]

You x Namjoon

Part 16- fuck I'm soft

next

[social media au]

[Summary: Y/n is a loveless Art student.       She and her friends belong to one of the most popular group of students on campus yet don't seem to care about any type of status but just want to enjoy life. Everything seemed to go as planned but what happens when a girl who never loved before meets someone who could change that?]

[alpacaparkaseok]

7 Secrets

OK! This is my first time EVER posting an imagine on Tumblr! So please love me and don’t hate it lol. I'm also not sure how many parts there will be to this, but you can expect probably at least three. Let me know what you like and don’t! Any ideas?

Summary: For the past three years, Beth has struggled and fought against the notion that she has a soulmate. It was only when she met six other girls who were in the same predicament that she finally decided that this was her life. The only real problem? Her soulmate has no idea that she even exists. Much less that soulmates are even a thing. Will she ever get to meet her soulmate, the ever popular and beloved Kim Namjoon of BTS? Does she even want to anymore?

GENRE: Soulmate!au BTS!

WARNINGS: none

Even now, as my feet lead me through the airport here in Seoul, I can’t quite believe that this is actually my life. Even now, three years later, the feeling of disbelief mingled with the thrill and fear of it all lingers.

To anyone here, I simply look like another tourist. Headphones in, not a care in the world except for keeping my backpack on my shoulders and taking one step at a time. I pass a group of girls loitering by the stairs, completely decked out in BTS merch. I smile at them, my action going unnoticed by my mask and hat low on my head. Am I a tourist or celebrity?

Neither. And yet, in some twisted way, both.

To my eternal horror and delight, six of my closest (and weirdest) friends await me at the baggage claim, welcome signs held up high.

All of them are from either here in South Korea or Japan, yet despite our differences we just click.

It’s something that I’m still not used to.

Their loud squeals can be heard bouncing off the walls of the airport the second I come into view, and I thank the heavens above for the mask and hat I’m wearing which shields my bright smile from the rest of the world. They would never let me hear the end of it if they knew just how excited I was to be back.

“You’re back!”

“Finally, you’ve kept us waiting long enough.”

“Wow, look at you. You look like a whole celebrity.”

“Since when did our little B grow up so much?”

I roll my eyes lovingly at them, unable to hold back as we all rush toward each other in a fit of excitement. A year was way too long.

“You’ve made it look like I’m coming back from military service or something.” I joke with my closest friends, laughing as Minsuh pokes my ribs in defense.

“It feels like it, too. You look like you’re coming out of a battle or something.”

I feign offense. “It’s called jet-lag, thank you very much. Wow, some people never change, do they?” I accept a hug from Aera, and only when I set my chin on her shoulder do I notice the two cameras trained on us.

Ah yes. That is one thing that I haven’t missed. Aera silently attaches a mic to my sweatshirt, clipping it on with a conspiratorial wink. She knows just how much I despise our ongoing documentary.

The cameramen are kind enough, shadowing us constantly in an attempt to compile enough content to someday show our soulmates. However I can’t help but feel like it’s a bit hopeless at times. I highly doubt our boys will ever watch the material, they seem busy enough. And we’re not that entertaining.

But who knows? The most famous band in the world tends to surprise me.

“Is it the balloons? It’s all the balloons, isn't’ it.” Kyung-Soon fiddles with the balloons in her hands, the mass floating above her in an attempt to block out any light from above. The sight pulls a giggle out of me, tired as I may be. I waddle over to her, one of the girls easing the backpack off of my shoulders and grunting at the weight.

I wrap her up in a hug, knowing just how much she tends to stress and over think. “The balloons look great. You know me, I just get embarrassed easily. But I love them.”

“I wonder how you would react if it was Namjoon holding the balloons instead of Soon-ah.” My head swivels to my best friend, glaring strongly. Himari only returns the look, her smirk growing. “You get embarrassed so easily, I’m just wondering what that would be like.”

The mention of my soulmate has my cheeks burning, and I offer up a silent prayer of gratitude for the mask I still have on.

The other girls take up the conversation, wondering aloud how I would react if it was my soulmate picking me up from the airport instead of his band member’s soulmates. Himari’s Japanese accent cuts clear through the rabble, making me feel right at home even as I secretly plan to embarrass her later on. Usually a well placed comment about j-hope’s latest concept photos will leave her reeling and red-faced.

The cameras edge closer, and I leap up grabbing my luggage before I can be embarrassed even more.

“Time to go!” I shout, ignoring the snickers from behind me. “Himari, since you’re so keen on helping me today would you mind bringing my backpack?”

“Yeah, got it.”

“Ha, just like you Beth. Way to avoid the conversation.” A less noticeable Japanese accent greets me, and I turn to see Ichika already by my side. I raise my eyebrows at the girl only a year my senior.

“Your Korean sounds great, Ichika!” She smiles at me, her delicate features reminding me of a flower. Ichika looked like a piece of art, which I guess made sense considering that she had a soulmate who would probably recognize that same fact immediately upon meeting her. At least, I’ve heard that Taehyung has an eye for art. Or maybe he just has an artsy personality? I can’t remember. Probably both.

“Thanks,” she replies, giving me a firm high five. “I missed you!” I breathe out a sigh of relief. It’s always been so refreshing how honest Ichika is.

“Missed ya too,” I mumble out, suddenly disoriented in the humid air as we exit the airport. By now we’ve attracted our fair share of strange looks and even a few stragglers, who follow us solely because of our small camera crew.

Once outside, Aera gently herds me in the direction of a couple of black cars. I nod to the managers the BigHit sent us as they open the car door for us and help to put our things away. I can see one eyeing the mess of balloons that Kyung-Soon still clings to, calculating how on earth to fit seven girls and seventy balloons into two small cars. (Ok, maybe not seventy, but it feels like it)

I turn to help Kyung-Soon, but find Minsuh already there. The sweet girl, only six months older than me, is always quick to help. Typically her and Aera are inseparable, but I’m glad to see that Minsuh has slowly been pushing herself to mingle with the others. It’s another thing that makes sense, seeing that Minsuh’s boy is Jungkook and Aera’s is Jimin. As far as I know, those two are pretty close as well.

Minsuh smiles shyly at me, sidling over to give me a quick hug before going back to her work. The cameraman makes sure to catch the sweet action, never one to miss a candid moment.

Was that cute enough for you? I silently ask Bang Si Hyuk. There’s no doubt that these will be reviewed and only the kindest, funniest, and cutest moments will make the cut.

Pity for Namjoon, but that means I will probably only be featured in a little bit of the documentary. Oh well, if he’s curious he can come find me himself. I’m done waiting. Or caring.

“What are you pouting about?”

Himari’s voice drags me out of my stupor, and I shrug my shoulders in response. Her happy demeanor doesn’t falter as she looks into my eyes like she can read them. There’s an underlying seriousness that few get to know, but I’ve been lucky enough to see it several times.

“Just tired,” I bump her hip with mine before we get the ok to all pile into the car. She doesn’t press the matter, but I can count on her slipping it into the conversation again once we’re alone. Once the pressing matter of the cameras watching our every mood is lessened and I feel more comfortable.

Sliding in, I collide with another body that has already taken the far seat. Both Seohyun and I burst into laughter at the sudden collision, her eyes turning into crescent moons.

“Well hello to you too,” she manages to say between giggles. Himari slides in next to me, shaking her head at the both of us. A couple of cameras in the car automatically focus on us, but I pay them no mind.

“I like your sweatshirt,” I say, gesturing to the homage to her soulmate. Sure enough, Yoongi’s new mixtape “D2” cover is printed on her shirt. Funnily enough, out of all of us, Seohyun is one of the most showy when it comes to her soulmate. Constantly buying merch, listening to his music, and gushing about him.

I know she’ll make Yoongi very happy. If she ever gets to meet him.

If any of us ever get to meet them. Or if they’re ever informed of our existence. Not for the first time today, I curse Bang Si Hyuk again in my mind.

Next

[alpacaparkaseok]

7 Secrets <pt. 6>

GENRE: Soulmate!au BTS!

WARNINGS: maybe a bit of anxiety

WORD COUNT: 5446

I rewrote this part a few times, I wanted to get it just right. I hope you enjoy! Stuff is about to go down lol 

**Song rec for this chapter: “So Will I” by Ben Platt 

Thursday begins with a bang.

More specifically, it begins with the sound of Ichika falling off of her bed from the upper floor, and me waking up at the sound and wondering for half a moment what I’ve got going on today.

Ignorance is bliss.

The house is oddly quiet, and I lay there for a lot longer than I thought I would be able to. I eye my shopping bag at the foot of my bed, eager to get ready. Like Himari said last night: we’re going to look good today.

It isn’t until a light knock sounds at my door that I realize I’ve been dozing off again. Ichika peeks inside, her face lighting up in a grin when she sees my bedhead.

“Good morning,” she chimes before padding over and flinging herself onto my bed. We lay there for a long while, quietly chatting about the day and how we’re going to get ready and style our hair.

Next comes Aera, her bedhead even more impressive than mine. She doesn’t say a word, simply sliding in under the covers.

Minsuh and Seohyun appear later on. My bed isn’t nearly big enough to accommodate us all but I don’t mention it, opting to bask in the lazy morning that feels like the calm before the storm.

It’s nearly noon by the time Himari and Kyung-soon show up, the two of them cracking up at the scene.

“Wait, let me grab my phone!” Himari runs to get her phone and snaps a photo of the five of us buried on my bed.

“Alright,” Kyung-soon sighs, a light in her eyes that I haven’t seen there before. “Let’s eat. We can’t be hangry when we meet our soulmates.”

It’s like she said the magic word, because soon enough my room is empty with only Himari left behind.

“Wow, they only wanted me for my bed. How rude,” I joke, earning a light laugh. “Are you ready for today?”

Himari smirks at me. “You know, I’ve had three years to prepare but somehow this morning I woke up feeling just as unprepared and giddy as I did three years ago. Isn’t that strange?”

She slings her arm around me and we make our way downstairs to the chaotic kitchen. “No, I get what you mean. I feel really chill right now, but it’s like I can feel the storm coming.” A couple of the other girls hear my comment and are quick to agree.

Seohyun lets out a shaky breath, the girl showing the first signs of nervousness. She says something that surprises me a bit, seeing how she’s always been the most vocal about her soulmate. “Well, I guess that no matter what happens today, everything will be alright. At the end of the day, we’ll still have each other.” She smiles at us as she takes a bite of her toast. “That’s more than enough for me.”

“Aw, so sentimental, Seohyunie.” Aera coos.

“Yeah, you’re not allowed to get us all emotional this early in the day.” Ichika says.

“It’s literally already the afternoon,” Seohyun fires back, her cheeks red.

“Well, bicker all you want, but I’m going to go get ready!” Minsuh has already devoured her breakfast, the excitement prominent on her face. I’m glad to see that her worries from the other night have subsided.

“Minsuh!” Himari shouts after the fleeing girl.

“Yeah?”

“I’ll pay for your meals for a month if you wear your pajamas to meet Jungkook!”

“Not a chance!”

↔

5 pm has come all too soon.

I fidget in my room as I take one last look in the full-length mirror. My hair falls around me in long curls; the time it took to perfect them definitely paid off. There’s a bit of rain falling, so I don my new trenchcoat in preparation for the cooler weather.

I smile at my reflection, amazed at the power a beautiful (but cozy) outfit has on my mood. My reflection portrays a young woman who looks like she’s ready to take on the world.

I only hope that confidence doesn’t abandon me.

It’s currently 4:45, the van should be here in 15 minutes. I take the moment of peace to close the door to my room and settle down on my bed, hesitating before picking a song to listen to.

I pluck up the courage and click on the song. “Forever Rain” from Namjoon’s playlist “Mono” plays, the light pitter patter of the rain from outside creating a surreal atmosphere.

Closing my eyes, I allow the song to wrap around me. Namjoon’s soothing voice both calms me and makes my heart race as I wonder for the fiftieth time today what he’s doing right now.

As the song comes to a close, I open my eyes and take a deep breath.

“I can do this.”

With the final boost of courage, I double check that I have everything I’ll need (which is really just myself, purse, and phone) and head downstairs. Kyung-soon is already down there, standing by the window in the living room as she cranes her neck to see if the van is coming. She looks beautiful, the simple sweater and jeans only bringing more attention to her delicate features. Her long black hair is lightly curled, and her berry-colored lips turn up in a nervous smile when I enter the room.

“You look amazing,” she says. “Seriously.”

“You do too, Soon-ah. Absolutely stunning. I’m glad that I’m not the only one who went with a more casual outfit. We’ll have to stick together.” I wink at her, and she laughs before turning back around to look out at the street.

Himari enters the room, the queen of casual style that she somehow manages to pull off like she’s at the red carpet. She carries a jacket in hand, prepared for the rainfall.

“Hey,” she greets me. “Looking good.”

“Right back at ya.” Himari stands beside me, resting her head on my shoulder. She’s unusually touchy today, no doubt due to the nerves. I don’t mind the extra contact, it helps to soothe my own nerves.

“Are the vans here yet?” Seohyun lights up the room in her yellow skirt, another queen of casual style. “Wow, you were right Himari. We do look amazing today.”

“We do, don’t we? No, no vans. They should be here any minute. Do you have everything?”

“Yeah, ready to go. I’ll go check that the others are ready.”

Soon enough Seohyun returns with Minsuh, Aera, and Ichika. All three look amazing, Aera’s professional background in design and fashion showing through as she is definitely the most well-dressed out of all of us. Minsuh looks adorable, her jean skirt making her look more youthful than me. Ichika reminds me of Taehyung, her layered top bringing out the artsy vibe she always has.

“Oh, oh!” Kyung-soon looks like it’s Christmas morning. “I think that’s the van, coming down the street!”

We all rush over to the window, honing in on the large black van that makes its way down to the apartment. It comes to a stop outside, and a man in a black suit and earpiece steps out.

“Wow, I feel like we just became famous,” Minsuh whispers.

“Alright, does everybody have everything?” I pipe up. The last thing we need is to forget something important. Everybody double checks, and by some miracle we’re ready. Just in time. A knock sounds on our door.

“You get it, Beth.” Himari nudges me.

“How did I know you’d say that?” I open the door, the bodyguard waiting for me outside with his umbrella up and ready to shield us from the rain.

“Hello everybody, Bang PD sent me. Are you ready to go?” I nod, my stomach doing flips. “Alright. I’ll escort you to the car, go ahead and step under my umbrella.” With my head in the clouds I step out, remembering at the last second to tell the other girls to lock the door behind them. I double check my purse, making sure I have the house key.

Before I know it all seven of us are packed into the van, and we’re off. Ichika sits on my left, holding my hand so tightly I think I’ll lose feeling in it before long. On my right is Kyung-soon, her arm looped through mine.

Our chauffeur is kind enough to play some music so we don’t drown in the heavy silence. None of us say much, each too lost in their own world to focus on a conversation. With each passing block my heart pounds faster and faster, and I fight against the tears that are pricking my eyes. I don’t want to cry. I can’t cry yet, but my inner whirlpool of emotions threatens to take over.

It’s already been a long day. And now, we’re just getting started.

What only feels like five minutes turns out to be thirty, because we’re suddenly pulling up to the BigHit building.

I manage to croak something out before we come to a complete stop, speaking for the first time the entire drive. “I’ll hold your purse while you go run laps, Kyung-soon.”

We laugh a bit, easing the tension. “How kind of you.” We begin to pile out of the van, and we’re escorted to a side door by the kind bodyguard. In a blur of movement we’re inside the building and led to an elevator. It’s only when we’re passing the fourth floor that I even realize that Ichika is still holding my hand.

“You alright?” I whisper to her, even though everyone can hear me in the small space of the elevator.

She looks at me, her eyes wide with anticipation and the anxiety that comes with it. “What was the code word for if we think we’re going to pass out?”

Aera’s voice pipes us from behind us, I can hear the grin in her voice. “It’s ‘holy cow’, isn’t it Beth?”

I can’t help but laugh, the ridiculousness of the entire situation making everything funnier. “Yeah, that’s it.”

Ichika squeezes my hand again. “Well, holy cow Beth. Holy cow is pretty much the only thing I’m thinking right now.”

“Are you telling me that you’re not even thinking about Taehyung?” I raise my eyebrows at her, the teasing making me feel better. Less likely to throw up, at least.

“Oh, shut up.” Ichika rolls her eyes, but the nerves seem to lessen a bit at the banter.

The doors slide open and the bodyguard ushers us out. “Alright, right there is Mr. Bang’s office. He should be inside waiting for you.” He points out a door just down the hall.

I make my way to the door on shaking legs, unsure of what to expect. Surely the boys aren’t inside the office, right? No, it’s way too small to fit all of us in there at the same time. That would just be cruel.

A quick glance over my shoulder shows everybody else trailing behind me. Himari gives me a thumbs up, prompting me onward. I level with a look that says ‘why must I do everything’ before I knock on the door.

A few seconds pass and then the door is swinging inward and Mr. Bang’s smiling face greets me.

“Well hello! I’ve been waiting for you all!” His eyes sweep over us, doing a mental count. “I’m glad you could make it. Come inside.”

The inside of Mr. Bang’s office is filled with photos, awards, and a leather couch with a few chairs. I all but collapse into one of the chairs while everybody else chooses their seats. Nobody speaks, but I notice them looking to me, Mr. Bang included. Clearly he’s waiting for my usual sarcastic remark.

“Well, here we are.” I say, struggling to even think straight enough to come up with a decent comment. “What’s on the agenda for today?”

Mr. Bang leans back in his chair, observing us. “Let’s get right down to it. There’s a lot we need to go over today, some can be done now with just the seven of you, the rest will have to be done with the boys.” My heart skips a beat at the mention of our soulmates. For some reason I’m surprised that we are actually going to meet them today. Maybe part of me simply expected a meeting with Mr. Bang. At least I didn’t buy a new outfit for nothing, right?

“Ok,” I nod slowly as though to clear the fog in my head. Right now I’ve got tunnel vision and I know I won’t be able to retain much information. “That’s fine. What do we need to know?”

“First off, are you all doing alright? Breathe. I can tell you that the boys are just as nervous as you are, so just breathe and try to relax. Today is meant to be enjoyed, and I promise that my staff and I have tried to make this day as calm and normal as can be.”

I almost laugh, wondering what part of normal includes a bodyguard and meeting the most famous band on the planet. I guess we’re playing by Bang PD’s rules now, though.

“The boys are nervous?” Minsuh pipes up, sheepishly looking down at her shoes.

Mr. Bang chuckles, nodding his head. “Extremely. I nearly had to give Jungkook a paper bag earlier because he was so close to hyperventilating.”

This merits a laugh and a sigh of relief from everyone, especially Minsuh as she blushes thinking about her soulmate.

“Anyways, I’ll try to get through this so you can meet the boys.” He now has everyone’s full attention. “I first wanted to thank you all for being so patient over the past three years. I know this hasn’t been easy, and you’ve had to sacrifice a lot of things. You’ve handled yourselves with grace and dignity. Even without the soulmate tests confirming your bonds with the boys, I would have been sure that you are meant to be simply by observing you over the years. I cannot thank you enough.”

He smiles at us, an adoring look in his eyes.

“Thank you,” Kyung-soon mutters.

“Now we’ve finally made it. It’s been a long journey, and this may seem sudden, but I believe that the timing is right. Today there will be a couple of doctors on hand who specialize in soulmate bonding, as these first meetings can be draining on both your emotions and energy. Don’t be afraid to ask for a breather if all of this is too overwhelming. There is no shame in that.”

My stomach turns to rocks hearing that. I’m reminded of my conversation just a couple of days ago with Aera. If meeting my soul sisters, who I’m not directly bonded to was so intense, what will this be like? Namjoon is only one person, whereas I have six soul sisters.

I voice my thoughts aloud. “I understand that this will be more...intense than it was meeting the girls. Will it really be that bad?”

Bang PD smiles at my question. “That bad or that good?” A blush creeps up my cheeks. “It will definitely be much more intense than your first meeting with the girls. Direct bonds are powerful. There is also the fact that you will be indirectly bonded with the other boys, like you were with the girls. Not quite as intense as the soul sister bond, but similar to it since they are your soulmate’s soul brothers.”

I exchange looks with Himari. This is news to us. It makes sense, and I’m happy about the fact that I’ll be gaining a lot of new friends today.

“Due to the fact you’ll be going through various levels of bonding today, we have taken precautions. You each will first meet your soulmates privately, and given sufficient time to bond and recover.” My stomach grows more and more uncertain as Mr. Bang explains the process. “After that, each individual couple will meet a different couple one at a time until you’ve all finished meeting. Like I said, doctors will be there to support you and we encourage you to take a break if you’re too exhausted. However, I’ve been told by the specialists that your soulmate will be the best support to you. So don’t be afraid to rely on each other. Understood?”

Mr. Bang smiles as us like he’s suggesting a place to grab lunch, not explaining the details of soulmate bonding. I give him a weak smile in return, a couple of the others grunting in acknowledgement.

“Wonderful.” Mr. Bang stands up from his seat, the simple action making my heart begin to pound again as I know that can only mean one thing. “Let’s get to it. I hope you don’t mind, but I discussed this with the boys earlier and asked them what order they would like to go in. Surprise, surprise: they’re going in order of age. That means that Jin and his soulmate will go first.”

I turn to look at Kyung-soon, who looks deathly pale. I wonder if the first thing she’ll say to Jin is a string of curse words for making her go first. Better first than last. Poor Minsuh will have to wait a long time for her turn, only making the nerves worse.

“Well, shall we?” Kyung-soon has gotten a hold of herself again, rising from the couch and smoothing out her sweater. “I’ve got to give my soulmate a piece of my mind for making me go first.”

Bang PD bursts out into laughter, having never seen the feistier side of the normally docile Kyung-soon. “Oh, I have a feeling the two of you will get along great.”

↔

I feel like I’m at the waiting room in the doctor’s office. Kyung-soon just entered a room at the end of the hallway, waving at us as her eyes lit up with that same light I noticed earlier today. I can only pray that I’ll be just as good at masking my nerves.

Seohyun paces in front of where we sit, awaiting her turn. We were told that we would each be given about 5 minutes of initial bonding before they would clear the room for the next pair. Apparently after the first five minutes the intensity starts to wear off, and then each couple is escorted to a recovery room on the same floor somewhere.

My blood is humming in my veins and I can practically feel Namjoon, wherever he is. Probably just on the other side of this floor. I fidget in my seat, desperate to just get it over with but dreading it at the same time. In my head “Forever Rain” is echoing, and I can’t tell if that’s helping or not.

5 minutes pass. Seohyun is waved over by a friendly looking doctor who pokes her head out the door.

“You’re Min Yoongi’s soulmate?” The doctor asks, her smile unwavering as Seohyun prances down the hall.

“I am, yes.” She waves at us. “See you on the other side!” I can hear the shaking in her voice, but she looks excited. We wave back, calling out words of encouragement.

Himari stands up, stretching. “Do I look alright?” She’s up next. Just a few more minutes before she disappears through that door.

I nod. “You look perfect. How are you feeling?”

“Like I could run a mile in 3 minutes flat but also like I might throw up at any second. You?”

“Pretty much the same. Not sure I could do 3 minutes though, maybe 4.”

Himari laughs, fiddling with her shirt and making sure it’s tucked in correctly. I stand up, helping her in the back where she can’t see.

“Everything will be perfect,” I reassure her, hoping that my smile looks the part. She sighs, wrapping me up in a hug. I’ve received a lot of those since I landed in Seoul.

“Love you.”

“Love you too.”

Suddenly it’s been five minutes, although I have a sneaking suspicion it’s been less. Leave it to Seohyun to bond quicker and more efficiently than anyone else.

“Gotta go,” Himari salutes us as she makes her way to the door where the same doctor awaits her. I hear her voice as she confirms that she’s Jung Hoseok’s soulmate, but it sounds distant and quiet as the din in my head turns up to full volume.

5 minutes.

I remain where I was before, staring at the wall as I sway from one side to another. It’s so loud in my head, “Forever Rain” is on repeat and I swear my heart is trying to break out of my chest.

“...ok?”

I blink, looking at Aera who has concern written all over her face.

“Did you say something to me?”

“I just asked if you were going to be ok.”

I swallow heavily. “Y-yeah,” I manage to get out. “I’ll be fine. Just freaking out a little bit.”

“Ok,” Aera doesn’t look convinced.

“Do I look alright?” I fidget with my necklace.

“Bethany,” Aera’s voice cuts through all the noise in my head. “You are absolutely gorgeous. You’re also the most courageous, capable person I know. You can do this.”

I can do this. I think of Namjoon, so close by. We can do this.

“Bethany?” The door at the end of the hallway opens up, the doctor peeking outside.

I look back at Aera, and she offers me a thumbs up. Minsuh and Ichika smile up at me, words of encouragement spilling from their lips.

“That’s me.”

“Kim Namjoon is your soulmate, correct?” The doctor’s kind eyes are assessing me as I walk over on surprisingly steady legs.

“Yes,” I nod. My eyes focus on the doctor’s name tag as she gently ushers me inside the room. It says her name is Dr. Kim, which must be a good sign, right?

“Ok, Bethany. How are you feeling?”

I nod, the nervousness must be written all over my face so I don’t try to hide it. “I’m fine, I think. Just a little nervous.

Dr. Kim smiles at me. “That’s completely normal. If you need anything, I’ll be right here.”

I’m about to thank her when another voice interrupts my thoughts.

“Oh,” it comes out as a gasp, and my head feels like it’s swimming through concrete as I turn to look who it is. Even though I already know. I’ve heard that voice countless times.

Kim Namjoon is already looking at me by the time I drag my eyes to his face. I hardly register Dr. Kim’s nudge as I start moving forward, a male doctor on the other side of the room watching us intently.

Namjoon looks how I feel- struck by lightning. His eyes are alight with something akin to adoration and curiosity, and I can feel my heart skip a beat as I realize that look is for me.

He takes longer strides than me, but he stops just a step away from me. I take a moment to take in his appearance. The denim jeans he’s wearing nearly steal all of my attention before I manage to look up at his shirt, a simple white button down.

Perfect is the only word I can think of as I finally look back up at him. Once again, his eyes are already on mine and I jump at little at the sudden eye contact. His mouth opens, another little gasp leaving it.

His cheeks are flushed when he finally speaks.

“I-can I…” He stops, eyes drifting to his feet before looking back up at me again. “Can I just hug you?”

I nearly sob at his sweet question, and I silently step forward to press myself into my soulmate’s chest. He reacts immediately, his arms wrapping around me like a starving man. And it’s there, as my head nestles into his neck, that I feel the bond.

Namjoon holds me steady as what I imagine what lightning feels like courses through my body. With it comes a flurry of emotions, each one passing so quickly that I hardly have enough time to identify it before another comes. A pang of sadness hits me, and I can tell Namjoon feels it too because his already impossibly tight grip grows tighter. He rests his cheek on my head, and I nearly melt at the touch. With it the sadness fades, a calming balm coursing through us. Love, joy so tangible I nearly reach out to touch it, giddiness and trust wrap themselves around us.

By the time everything subsides, a single thread of the bond hangs invisible between us that I can almost tug it. I feel like I’m coming up for air after being submerged in water for too long.

We separate as a final shock hits us, both of us panting even as we wince at the loss of contact.

Dr. Kim and the male doctor make their way over to us, Dr. Kim attaching a blood pressure cuff to my arm before I even realize what’s going on. I notice the other doctor doing the same to Namjoon.

Namjoon sneaks a glance over at me, his cheeks still a deep red. My mind is still spinning and trying to understand what just happened. And the fact that I’m literally 5 feet away from my soulmate.

“Are you ok?” I flush as Namjoon asks me the question, Dr. Kim grinning up at me knowingly.

I nod. “Y-yeah. I think so. Are you?”

“Feeling great,” he responds even as he glares down at his blood pressure cuff. My eyes trail down to it too, before I decide against it as his bicep tends to make my giddiness grow. “I’m Namjoon, by the way.” He gives a sheepish grin, his dimple just showing up.

I return it, and his eyes drift down to my mouth. “I’m Bethany.” I chew on my lip for a second, my blush only growing stronger as I watch Namjoon force his eyes away from my mouth and red color his cheeks. Good to know I’m not the only one struggling. “You can call me Beth, though.”

Before we can continue our small talk, the cuffs are released. “Ok you two, feeling alright?” The male doctor asks us. We both nod. “Great. I know it’s intense and you might be feeling a little weak, but don’t be afraid to rely on each other. Namjoon, go ahead and hold Bethany’s hand while we take you to the recovery room. It will help to steady you both.”

Namjoon looks at me hesitantly, clearly embarrassed, but he slowly extends his hand out to me. So slowly that it looks like he’s trying to not scare away a skittish animal.

His hand engulfs my own, and the doctor was right. I feel much better already, more steady. Namjoon gives my hand a squeeze, looking down at me. I nearly swoon, a giggle escaping me at the situation.

“What are you laughing about?”

Hearing him speaking to me only makes me laugh again. “I just can’t believe how freaked out I was before.”

“Oh, me too.” My surprise must be evident at his confession. Was he really nervous too? “I don’t think I’ve slept for the past three days.”

We’re led out of the room to another room with a couch and some water and snacks. Just before the doctor leaves I remember to ask him something.

“Excuse me?” Namjoon grins at my politeness, not releasing my hand as he grabs water and offers it to me.

“Yes?”

“How long did we take?”

The doctor smiles. Everybody is smiling, me included. How could I not?

“Do you have a bet going on with the others or something? I hate to break it to you, but you guys are dead last. The bonding lasted six minutes.” My eyes widen. It certainly didn’t feel that long.

“How long did Seohyun take? She’s with Min Yoongi.”

“Oh, yeah, how long did they take? They were fast.” Namjoon mumbles by my side.

The doctor chuckles at us. “They only took 2 minutes and 42 seconds.” With that he leaves us alone in the room.

“Wow,” I whisper, sipping on my water. Namjoon still holds my hand, his fingers interlocked with mine. I try and fail to not let the small point of contact take over my senses. “I should have known Seohyun would be quick. She was by far the most prepared out of all of us.”

“And you were the least prepared.”

It isn’t a question, and I glare at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?!”

Namjoon laughs as I yank my hand from his, feigning offense. I collapse on the couch and he follows after me.

“I watched the docufilm,” Namjoon explains, sitting on the opposite end of the couch. I groan, hiding behind my hands.

“Like, all of it? Everything over the past three years?”

He chuckles, growing more comfortable by the second. “Yep. Everything.” His dimple reappears and I admire him from behind my hands. “I’m just glad you didn’t go to Antarctica.”

I laugh, pointing at him accusingly. “So you were watching the Facetime a couple of nights ago!” Namjoon has the decency to look flustered. “How dare you?”

“We-I just-” he stutters, “Can you blame me?”

I assess him from where he sits a respectable distance away. I still hardly even know the man, but I already know I could never harbor a grudge. Not that he needs to know that right now. I get up, heading over to the snack table again before deciding on a bag of chips. Now I’m starving, after hardly being able to eat over the past couple of days. Namjoon sits in silence, awaiting my response. I almost laugh again at the whole situation, until I realize that we are very much alone in this room. I shake off the tension I feel, taking a deep breath to calm down.

“I was freaking out the entire call,” I admit, settling back down on the couch. “I kept thinking I could hear people in the background, but I thought that I must be going crazy. So I definitely blame you.” I open the bag, offering some to Namjoon. I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of his smile. “Now tell me. What was your favorite part of the docufilm?”

Namjoon ponders for a second, the red coming back to his cheeks. I wonder what he’s thinking. He finally settles on something, his face going serious as he looks back at me. I find it hard to breathe beneath his gaze.

“My favorite episode,” I had no idea they broke the film up into episodes, “was when you got lost at the night market.”

He doesn’t crack his serious expression, and I get up and move as far away from him as possible, settling for a chair on the far side of the room. If he’s seen all the episodes, he must know how much the others make fun of me for that night. Evil man, I think even as I fight the grin on my face.

Nearly thirty minutes later Dr. Kim knocks on the door before entering, finding Namjoon mid-sentence about how I obviously tried to hide my face from the cameras most of the time and how the boys would make fun of him because of it.

We look up at her from the couch to see her looking pleased. (Namjoon dragged me back to sit by him about fifteen minutes ago when I was accusing him of making me wait for three years, the bold action making him obviously embarrassed. His excuse was that he felt like he had to yell at me from across the room, but I think there might have been more to it.)

“Looks like you two are doing well.” Dr. Kim observes, jotting something down on her clipboard. “Ready to meet the others?” I jump up from the couch, Namjoon observing me with an amused look in his eyes. It’s not everyday I get to meet all of BTS in one day.

“Let’s go!” It’s my turn to drag Namjoon, tugging him out the door. When we leave the room I go to remove my hand from his, the intensity of the bond having faded and my awkwardness has returned full-force. He doesn’t let me, though. Instead he intertwines his fingers through mine, refusing to look at me when I looked up at him with my eyebrows raised.

Following the sound of several voices from up ahead, my soulmate and I go to meet the rest of BTS.

Previous - Next

Get ready to meet the rest of the boys! It’ll be fun, I promise. Remember that the taglist is open for whoever wants to join, just let me know! Thanks guys!

@mae-musicbitch @taylorroe3​ @heartblackerthancoffee​

[alpacaparkaseok]

7 Secrets <pt. 11>

GENRE: Soulmate!au BTS!

WARNINGS: whole lot of uwu that’s what

WORD COUNT: 4.8k

I just...no words. I’ve been wanting to get to this point for a hot minute now, so I’m glad we’ve made it. No, this isn’t quite the end. Although we’re getting there. *cue tears* Have a happy halloween this weekend! <3

By the time we make it back to the house it’s nearly evening, seeing as Jin decided to take a detour and get lost. Kyung-soon didn’t mind, she took the opportunity to re-listen to Seventeen’s new album. And then listen to it again.

We’re nearly there when we get a call from Taehyung. Jin puts it on the car speakerphone.

“Hyung! Where are you?”

“We’ve been lost, that’s where-” Jin cuts Kyung-soon off with glare.

“We were hiking and enjoying the island. We’ll be there in ten minutes. Are you guys getting ready to eat?”

As if on cue my stomach growls. Our last meal was this morning, and the granola bars have only held up for so long.

“Yeah, we’re finishing up with the food now. Guess what we’re doing tonight, though?”

A few voices can be heard in the background. It sounds like utter chaos at the house. The sound of it brings a smile to my face.

“What? What are we doing?”

“Production team just finished editing the final episode! We’re going to project it on the side of the house and watch it!”

I nearly choke, Kyung-soon turning around and staring at me in horror. Namjoon chuckles, patting me on the back while I recover.

“That was...fast.” I mumble. The production crew must have been working overtime in order to finish up the final episode so we could watch it on our trip.

Kyung-soon is in the middle of involuntarily cringing. “Oh no, this is going to be horrible. So cringey.”

I nod in agreement, Jin reaching over to grab Kyung-soon’s hand. The houses pop up in the distance - we’re almost there.

“Just pretend that it’s somebody else,” Jin tries to reassure his soulmate. “I promise, it’s really not bad. We were thoroughly entertained.” He grins at Namjoon through the rear-view mirror.

“Yeah, and besides, you guys have seen plenty of weird content from us. Consider this an even playing field.” Namjoon adds.

“Ok, I’ll see you - huh? Oh, Ichika says hi. Alright, see you in a second.” Taehyung cuts the call.

↔

The side of the boys’ house has turned into a temporary movie screen. Taehyung is in the process of popping popcorn while Jungkook and Jimin are giving a detailed overview of three years worth of episodes.

I think they’ve forgotten that we were very much a part of those three years. After all, it is a documentary about us.

Aera sits beside Minsuh, the two of them grinning like cheshire cats at their soulmates. They look like they’re thinking the same thing that I am.

“Yah, so where did the last episode leave off?” Aera questions, raising her eyebrows at Jimin.

“What, you don’t remember what happened two weeks ago?” Himari asks, chuckling.

Aera shrugs her shoulders. “It’s been a busy week for all of us, I can hardly remember what happened two days ago.”

Namjoon emerges from the house, a couple of blankets in hand. His eyes scan the small crowd before landing on me where I stand beside Seohyun. I’ve been trying to get a feel for how her and Yoongi’s conversation went earlier, but I don’t dare ask anything too direct with Yoongi right there. He holds her hand, looking content as she explains how she tried and failed at painting.

“Where did the last episode leave off, Joon-ah?” Hoseok asks when Jimin and Jungkook have a hard time remembering the finer details. Namjoon is in the process of spreading a blanket out on the ground, motioning for me to come over.

“Umm…” He chews on the inside of his cheek for a moment before snapping his fingers. “Aera had just pitched her new designs, and everybody made dinner for her when she got home. Then they were just getting Beth’s room ready for her to come back.”

Aera blinks as though just remembering that she has an actual job. A job she’s really, really good at.

“I can’t believe you forgot about that!” Aera feigns offense and Jimin freezes in his spot, eyes wide. “That’s my whole career we’re talking about, Jimin!”

Jungkook gives his friend a pat on the shoulder before walking over to plop into the seat beside Minsuh.

“I-I remember it now…” Jimin pouts, looking at his soulmate with puppy eyes. Aera glares at him, never one to give in easily. In fact, Aera is the fiercest when it comes to these kinds of things.

If I remember correctly, I’ve heard the boys state on several occasions that Jimin is absolutely terrifying when he’s mad.

“Hey,” Namjoon grabs my attention from the show up front. “Wanna sit? I got us an extra blanket for if we get cold.”

“Perfect.” I settle down on the blanket, laughing as Jimin tries his best to escape Aera’s wrath. She’s currently moving his chair to the opposite end, as far away from her as possible.

Minsuh turns around to look at me, her eyebrows wiggling mischievously. “Are you ready for this cringefest?”

Namjoon chuckles, settling down beside me. The butterflies in my stomach kick things up into high gear just from sitting beside him. He checks the time on his phone, his new background pulling my attention away for a moment.

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” I sigh. Namjoon places a comforting hand on my knee, smiling at me when he realizes that I’m looking at his lock screen.

“It really is that bad usually. I swear.” I roll my eyes, knowing a lie when I hear one. “Hey,” he nudges me. “Let’s see your new phone background.”

I excitedly fish my phone out of my pocket, already chuckling at the thought of our candid photo. Showing it to Namjoon, Minsuh and Jungkook wander over to see what we’re laughing about.

“Oh my gosh, that’s so cute!” Minsuh gushes, laughing at me. “I’m guessing you learned today that Beth is terrified of heights?”

Namjoon nods, shooting me a pitiful look. “I sure did. I’m pretty sure she bruised one of my ribs in the process.”

Jungkook proceeds to ask Namjoon about the hike, sounding like he wants to venture out there tomorrow. Jin and Kyung-soon come back out with Tae and Ichika, all of them carrying a couple of bowls each filled to the brim with popcorn.

“Movie time!” Jimin shouts from where he and Aera disappeared around the house. A moment later he appears with his chair in one hand and lugging a disgruntled Aera along with the other.

As soon as all the popcorn is distributed Yoongi flips on the projector from the back. A moment later the song “Psycho” by RedVelvet blasts through the speakers, and the episode begins.

“Oh my gosh, I can’t believe they actually made that the theme song!” Seohyun shouts, already laughing as she and Minsuh appear on screen. Little title cards appear above their heads from where they study in the library, lost in their textbooks. I grin, all of this appearing a little surreal.

“I can’t believe we actually have a theme song!” Himari says. She’s the next one in the opening credits, trying and failing to flip a pancake. “Oh, come on, that’s how they introduce me?” Hoseok laughs beside her, his eyes darting from the screen back to his soulmate.

Next is Ichika, and I notice Taehyung scooting a little closer to her and she hides behind her hands. She’s opening the door to the apartment, her lopsided smile greeting the cameraman as she invites the cameras inside.

“This is the best part!” Jimin shouts.

The cameras follow Ichika inside the apartment and catch their next victim for the opening credits: Aera.

She’s clearly in a rush, probably running late for work. Careening down the stairs she freezes once she sees the camera, quickly pushing her hair out of her face as she waves before rushing out the door.

“See, told you it was the best part,” Jimin mumbles, Aera dissolving into a fit of giggles beside him.

Namjoon scoots closer, adjusting so that his right shoulder is just behind me. “Ready for the next part?” I can hear the smile in his voice.

Kyung-soon and I appear on screen, and I can hear my friend groaning from where she sits with Jin. We share a look across the way.

We’re sitting on the couch in the living room, locked in an intense game of rock, paper, scissors. Kyung-soon wins, and she throws her hands up in triumph right as our title cards appear. I get up wordlessly, walking straight out the door.

Despite how strange it is to be watching the documentary after all this time, I find myself shaking with laughter. Maybe we are kind of entertaining to watch, after all.

“Do you remember what we were playing for?” Kyung-soon asks me.

“I think it was over who had to call the takeout place.”

She laughs, returning her attention to the screen. I find myself avidly watching as well.

Episode basically from here until just before the end, enjoy! (actions/dialogue in real time will appear in as normal text, whereas the documentary is in italics)

Himari and Aera sit in the kitchen, both of them staring down at their breakfast. Himari glances up at Aera, noticing her worried expression.

“I’m sure they’ll call you soon. Anybody who turns you down is a complete idiot.”

Aera nods, not saying anything. Jimin reaches out to hold Aera’s hand. Minsuh comes in from down the hall, stretching.

“Morning,” she says around a yawn. “Any news A?”

Himari answers for her friend. “Not yet. What do you have going on today?”

Minsuh reaches for a bowl, waving at the kitchen camera like she does every morning. “Nothing much. I think Seohyun and I are going to study for a while, she’s going to help me prep for an exam I’ve got coming up. What about you guys?”

“Ichika and I have lessons. Want to join us, Aera? Brush up on your Japanese?”

“No,” Aera shakes her head. “I’m going to start getting Beth’s room ready.”

“Oh!” Himari grabs her phone from her back pocket. “That reminds me, I have to call that little punk.”

I gasp at Himari, my friend giving me a shy smile and shrugging.

Himari places the phone on speaker while the other two girls quietly eat their food and wait for me to answer.

“Was this the day before I flew out?” I ask no one in particular.

“Yeah, I think so.” Himari responds. Suddenly my voice cuts through the audio, and I physically cringe. Namjoon chuckles, reaching a hand up to steady me as I rock back against his chest.

“I knew you were going to call me,” I say, and Himari rolls her eyes while Minsuh snickers. “What’s up?”

“Are you all packed and ready to go?” Himari asks.

“Yeah, I think so. My flight leaves in...six hours. I’ll start heading to the airport in a couple of hours so I get there on time.”

“Hey, when’s the last time you logged anything?”

It’s silent on my side of the line for a while. “Er...a while.”

“Do I even want to know?”

“No, probably not.”

“Well this is me calling you and telling you to do your log before you leave. BigHit sent us some of those questions, answer them if you don’t know what to say.” My voice starts to cut in but Himari cuts me off. “I mean it! If you don’t I’m making sure you sleep on the couch when you get here.”

My sigh is audible, Aera looks up at Minsuh with the ghost of a smile.

“Ok, will do. I’ll log it as soon as I get off this call. How is everybody?”

Minsuh pipes up. “Hey Beth! We’re good!”

“Am I on speaker? Hey Min! Who else is there?”

“Just me,” Aera says, leaning closer to the phone. “I’m about to clean up your room so there aren’t any cobwebs. It’s been so long since I’ve seen you, B. I miss you.”

“Aw, I miss you too A. You don’t have to worry about my room...but make sure nobody has stolen my Jeju Island photo. Where’s everybody else?”

The camera jumps to another location, answering my very question. Kyung-soon is walking up to a nice looking apartment, double checking some files before kindly greeting a couple. She must have had a client.

Again the camera jumps, this time to a different continent where I’m settling down before my camera as I record my first log in months. I’m sitting at my kitchen island in my apartment back in the states, a picture of all the girls and I hanging on the wall behind me.

“Hello camera, it’s me again. Sorry for not logging in a while, I’ve been busy. And now I’m about to leave in a couple of hours to catch my flight to Seoul.” I look at my phone before me, reading something off of it. “This will be pretty quick, but I’ve got some of the questions BigHit sent me, so I’ll try to answer a few before I have to leave. Sound good?”

I scroll through the list of questions, eyebrows furrowed as I try to find a good one. “Hmm, it looks like these have gotten more and more personal over the years. I guess I’ll go with this one: ‘what do you look forward to the most returning to Seoul?’”

Shuffling in my seat I bite my lip as I stare down the camera. “I think I just get excited to be back with everybody. I know I don’t usually say anything like this, but I really miss them when I’m gone. I’m kind of stranded out here in the states. It’s hard to be here and know that all six of them get to stay together while I jump around from place to place. At least I’ll get to stay for a solid six months this time around, maybe more. Just depends.”

Namjoon fidgets behind me until he’s directly behind me. Slowly he pulls me back against his chest until I’m laying with my head tucked under his chin.

“Wow, this one’s intense. Should I just answer it? I doubt anybody will actually ever watch this. I feel like my logs are pretty boring. It says, ‘if you could go back and say anything to yourself three years ago, what would you say?’”

I lean back against my chair, pushing my hair out of the way. “I’m not sure I would really say much. There was just so much going on, it was information overload. I remember when I woke up the next morning, I thought everything was a dream. My sister had no clue, so I just left her a note and left our hotel to go on a run.” I laugh a little, recalling the memory. “I probably looked so crazy! This white girl running around Seoul like a maniac. I finally got to a point where I stopped, and finally was starting to calm down. Then, ha! Oh my gosh I remember this like it was yesterday, seriously. I checked my phone and saw that I had a notification from Weverse. It said ‘RM commented on so and so’s post’ and I lost it. Right there in the middle of this random park I started bawling. I was so overwhelmed.”

Namjoon’s grip tightens on me, and I take a deep breath. I’d honestly forgotten that I’d even done this log, I really didn’t think they’d put it into the documentary.

“So if I could go back to three years ago, I think I’d go to that moment and just give myself a hug. I was so terrified and had nobody to talk to. I’d hug myself, and say, you figure out how to keep moving forward. Just enjoy the ride, because it’s a crazy one.”

The screen fades out, my voice still narrating as I talk over the others girls’ actions. Kyung-soon is helping that couple to sign some paperwork.

“It’s definitely been crazy, but I’m better because of it.” I narrate and Kyung-soon gives an award winning smile to the couple, saying her goodbyes before heading back to her car.

Now we’re watching Minsuh laugh about something with Himari in the kitchen.

“I don’t want to think about where I’d be without my soul sisters, they mean so much to me. I really never thought I’d meet people as amazing as them in my life.”

Aera is in my room, sweeping and straightening my photo of Jeju Island.

“Sometimes I still wonder if there’s been a huge mistake and I’ll get a call from BigHit saying that I don’t actually have a soulmate. Things are so good that I think they may be too good.”

Seohyun jogs in a park, making faces at the camera each time she passes in front of it.

“But I’ll just keep living this dream for as long as fate will let me.”

Ichika struggles up the stairs to the apartment, grocery bags all over the place. The camera shakes as it’s set on the ground, and the cameraman assisting her.

“And as for the last question for this log… ‘if you could say a single sentence to your soulmate, what would you say?’”

Suddenly we’re back in my apartment, where I give a side smile to the camera.

“Hey Namjoon, wanna go out sometime?” Winking at the camera I lean up and turn it off.

The screen goes black, and then words cut across the screen.

Final Installment- Episode 132 “Finally.”

Everybody comes back to life as the introduction to the final episode ends and the rest of the episode starts up. Namjoon leans down to whisper in my ear.

“I’m sorry for making you cry in the park that morning.”

I shake my head. “I can’t believe you’re apologizing for that and not for trying to kill me earlier.”

My body shakes with Namjoon’s laugh, and we settle down to continue watching the documentary before us.

Kyung-soon stands in the living room with a huge mass of balloons before her. Minsuh comes up behind her, staring in awe.

“That’s a lot of balloons.”

Kyung-soon nods, biting her bottom lip. “Do you think it’s too much?”

“No, I think it looks great. Just, how are we going to get them into the car?”

“I have no idea.”

The two of them discuss possible game plans as Himari wanders in looking at her phone.

“Ok everyone! She’s over the ocean between us and Japan. We should probably get going. Wow,” she finally notices the balloons. “Looks good, Soon-ah. Don’t fly away, though. Seokjin would be so upset.”

Footsteps sound as the other three girls come in, each one’s attention going straight to the balloons.

“Ha! That’s amazing.” Ichika says. “She’s going to die when she sees that.”

The scene cuts to the airport, the girls anxiously waiting at the bottom of the stairs. Himari once again checks her phone for my flight information.

“It says that the flight landed fifteen minutes ago, she should be here any second.”

Aera nudges her. “Yah, you’re acting like your long lost lover has finally returned.”

Himari raises her eyebrows. “And?”

“Oh, there she is!” Seohyun shouts, and sure enough I appear on camera. Hat down low and a mask on I wave at everyone. A few people pause to look at all the commotion before continuing on.

Namjoon whispers to me again. “You look like a celebrity with your hat and mask.”

I chuckle, watching my reunion with the girls that only happened earlier this week. “I felt like one, too.”

My soulmate lets out a breathy laugh when the girls start teasing me, asking me what my reaction would be if he were the one to pick me up from the airport.

“You know, I’ve noticed that you’re really good at avoiding teasing.”

“I’ve had lots of practice.”

The documentary skips to our apartment, the girls hanging out in the living room debating whether or not to wake me up or let me sleep.

“I’m going to wake her up, she’s probably starving.” Aera says, and Minsuh follows her out of the room. The other girls remain in the room, Seohyun talking about one of her classes.

I nearly fall asleep in Namjoon’s arms, it’s so comfy. What brings me out of my stupor is the distinct sound of Seohyun’s rendition of “Mic Drop” and everybody laughing along with her.

I watch as we enjoy the show, Kyung-soon announcing to everyone that we’re going on ahead. Suddenly I jolt up, Namjoon jumping at the sudden movement. I remember what comes after this.

“What’s wrong?” Namjoon asks. “Did you see a bug?”

“No…” My attention is pulled into the documentary as Kyung-soon and I quietly converse. “It’s just - that was a hard night for me. That’s all.”

I can feel Namjoon’s eyes assessing me but I refuse to look at him for fear of him seeing right through me.

“If you’re uncomfortable we can go inside,” he offers.

Finally I look over to him. He calmly returns my gaze, awaiting my answer.

“I think I’m fine for now. Just, don’t judge me, ok?”

Namjoon nods fervently. “Never.” Extending his arms out, he pulls me back into his chest. “Let me know if you want to leave, and we’ll go.”

Kyung-soon and I appear on the balcony of our apartment, where we both study the stars above us.

“I can’t-”

“You have to. Beth, please don’t lock us out and keep all of these feelings to yourself. You don’t have to tell us every little thing, but you need to talk about it. Just because you don’t say it out loud doesn’t mean that you won’t feel scared or worried anymore.”

The tension is palpable as my sobs cut through the silence. I’m pretty sure Namjoon stopped breathing.

“I look at our boys, and I feel like they’re already complete. They have each other, they have ARMY, they’re complete. They have no idea that soulmates are even a thing, let alone that they have soulmates. There’s a part of me that’s mad about that. Mad that for the last three years I’ve been waiting for a man that is already happy without me, that is already more loved that he can even fathom. Mad at freaking Mr. Bang, because he refuses to tell them until the ‘time is right’. It’s been three years! And I’ve picked myself back up and tried my hardest to continue on in my career, and it’s fulfilling. I have the most amazing friends in the world, my family is so loving and supportive, and I love my job. So why do I feel so lonely?”

Namjoon wraps his arms around me tightly, and I feel that strange ache in my chest again. This time, though, it aches and aches until it cracks. With it, come the tears.

Like a dam come undone the tears flow from my eyes as the echoes of my sobs from the documentary cut through the night. Namjoon holds me tighter, tighter until he’s all I can feel.

“You know what, come here.” Namjoon says, his voice thick. He stands, pulling me up with him. We’re near the back, so nobody really notices us as Namjoon pulls me away. He leads me around my beach house until we’re completely blocked from view. The audio from the documentary follows me, and I keep my eyes trained on the ground as the tears blur my vision.

Namjoon finally comes to a stop, his hands resting firmly on my shoulders. I can’t bring myself to look up at him, thoroughly humiliated at one of my most vulnerable moments being on full display.

“Beth, look at me.” I shake my head, angrily wiping away my tears. He reaches up to catch a tear as it rolls down my cheek. “Look at me. Please.”

Again I shake my head, completely mortified at the situation I’m in. Wasn’t this supposed to be a fun trip? Worry-free?

“Ok, that’s ok. You don’t have to.” Namjoon moves to grab my shoulders again. “I just need you to listen to me. Can you do that for me?”

I clench my teeth as I nod, trying so hard to keep in my sobs.

“Alright. I am so-” his voice cracks and he takes a moment before speaking again. “I am so sorry, Beth. For all of it. For making you feel that way. I wish - I just wish we could have avoided all that heartache and pain. You were so strong, for so long. You still are, I can see that. From the second we first met I saw that you are strong and the most incredible person to ever walk the earth. I might be a bit biased,” I croak out a laugh which seems to spur him on, “but nobody can change my mind about you. I was lonely, too. Did you know that? Even with all the love I receive every day, I’m still lonely. Do you know how infuriating that is?”

Steeling my nerves I peak up at him. My heart twists further when I see the tears running down my soulmate’s face. He continues on, paying them no mind.

“I felt like there was something so wrong with me, but I learned with time that it’s normal. Everybody feels lonely. It’s a horrible feeling, and confusing sometimes. Especially when it feels like you have every reason to be happy. But we’re human. This is part of our human experience, as much as it sucks. Beth,” Namjoon rests a hand under my chin when my eyes fall again, gently urging me to look up at him. “I don’t feel alone anymore. That’s because of you. Just seeing you, I feel like everything is going to be alright. Do you see how amazing that is? I’m not lonely anymore. Please, Beth.” He releases a shaky breath, the earnestness in his eyes bringing a fresh wave of tears to my eyes. “Let me try. I don’t want you to feel alone anymore. Let me in,” Namjoon gestures to his heart, “and I swear I’ll never leave.”

Staring up at him, I know he’s telling the truth. I can tell he means every word he’s saying. But I have to know. I have to ask.

“You’ve been promising a lot of things,” I mutter, inhaling sharply as the tears rush down my face. “Are you sure you can keep all your promises? Please, Namjoon. Please don’t promise me something you can’t keep.”

Gently brushing the tears from my face, Namjoon leans in. Slowly, and close enough that I can see the light reflected in the tears still on his face. My heart, limp and weak as it may be, jumps at the close proximity.

“Do you mind if I make another promise?” Namjoon whispers before his lips brush up against my cheek. I freeze as he licks the salty mixture from his lips before moving to the other side.

“N-no,” I mumble.

Just there, the only warning I have is the feeling of his warm breath before he sweetly kisses away the remaining tears on my other cheek.

He pulls away just enough to look into my eyes. “I promise that I will never make you a promise that I cannot keep.”

Eyes drifting down to my mouth he tilts my head up ever so slightly. My eyes drift shut of their own accord, the only thing keeping me tied to the earth being Namjoon’s hands that hold me like I may break at any moment.

The first brush of his lips takes my breath away, the feeling so light that I wonder for a brief moment if this isn’t all just in my head.

Slowly he deepens the kiss, just enough for the salty tang of my tears on his lips to seep into my senses. The bittersweet taste has me reaching out to him, hands fisting the material over his chest. I cling to my soulmate as he clings to me, and even the world slows for a moment in order to accommodate this moment. Fate has never been my friend, but in this sliver of time I feel that it has been uncommonly kind to me.

By the time we pull away, resting our foreheads together, the ache in my heart has subsided. Namjoon’s hands slide down to my waist, holding me in place. As if I’d go anywhere.

I look up at my soulmate only to find his eyes still shut, drinking in the moment. Taking the precious seconds fate has given me, I study him out. Bliss suits him.

As though feeling my gaze, his eyes slide open. A small smile crosses his features, and the word that I have come to associate with Kim Namjoon over the past couple of days reappears in my mind’s eye, hanging over us like the stars in the sky.

Perfect.

Previous - Next

Taglist is open! Happy Halloween this weekend everyone! Thoughts? They finally kissed! (lol, finally. they’ve known each other for what, two or three days?) I love these two. Stay safe and healthy! 

taglist: @mae-musicbitch @taylorroe3​ @heartblackerthancoffee @eusticenatalie @agustneeds

[alpacaparkaseok]

7 Secrets <pt. 8>

GENRE: Soulmate!au BTS!

WARNINGS: slight anxiety

WORD COUNT: 4556

Ok ya’ll here we go! I’m excited for all that’s coming. Who’s your fav couple so far? 

The conference room has transformed into a restaurant, the tension from earlier having dissipated as everyone goes about giving hilarious accounts of their bonding.

“Of course I was angry!” Kyung-soon is red in the face but laughing.

“Why on earth would you be angry about that? I fought tooth and nail to be able to go first! I couldn’t wait a second longer to meet my beautiful soulmate!” Jin defends himself, viciously taking another bite of his food. It’s enough to send us all back into a fit of laughter.

Kyung-soon looks at Namjoon with a doubtful look in her eyes. “Be honest, Namjoon.” Over the space of the past few minutes we’ve decided to abandon all honorifics, which I greatly appreciate. I was bound to mess them up at some point. “Did he really want to go first?”

Jin shoots Namjoon a death-glare, and Namjoon hesitates a moment before plucking up enough courage to go against his brother. “No, he was nearly in tears because he was so scared.”

If it wasn’t chaotic before it definitely is now. Jin nearly launches himself at Namjoon, but he’s caught between that and defending himself from Kyung-soon’s wrath. The rest of us simply drink in the moment, finally not so nervous as before.

Namjoon looks at me pleadingly from across the table as he evades Jin’s verbal attacks. “Are you not going to help me?”

I shake my head no, my cheeks starting to hurt from laughing so hard over the past few minutes. “It isn’t my problem that you just threw Jin under the bus!”

Jin is in the process of fiercely agreeing with me when Namjoon stands up from his seat and drags it over to my side of the table. I’m suddenly not laughing anymore when he settles down beside me.

“Oh Namjoon-ah, so bold today!” Hoseok says, his heart-smile on full display. Neither one of us says anything, instead choosing to attack our food.

“Yah, who’s next?” Himari comes to our rescue. “Oh, Seohyun. What happened with you two?”

Yoongi looks up to Seohyun with wide eyes. No doubt he doesn’t want the finer details to be discussed, but I can also tell that he won’t stop her if she wants to talk about it.

“Nothing much,” Seohyun shrugs. “We just bonded. That’s all.” She shuts down any further questions, and I hope that she catches the small smile of gratitude on Yoongi’s face.

“You two are a nice match,” Jimin points out. “It’s cool to see it, from this perspective.”

Yoongi coughs. “Alright, Hobi. Take it away.”

“I see what you did there,” Himari jokes. She looks to Hoseok expectantly, the two of them already chuckling at the memory of their bonding.

I glance at Namjoon to find him already looking at me again. This is turning out to be a habit of his.

“This should be good,” I whisper to him as Hoseok starts. Namjoon nods vigorously.

“Definitely.”

“Well, as you all know,” Hoseok gestures to the boys, “I was so excited that I nearly bumped Jin out of his spot as first to go.” This merits a pointed cough from Kyung-soon which Jin blatantly ignores. “Apparently Himari was too, because we couldn’t even make it through the entire bonding process without having to take a seat!”

“Wait,” Taehyung interrupts, “You couldn’t stand through it?”

Hoseok laughs, shaking his head. “No, how could the rest of you?!”

“Only you, Hobi. That’s amazing.” Taehyung giggles, looking over to Ichika. “I wish I could do it again.”

Ichika raises her eyebrows at the boy. “Speak for yourself, I thought I was about the throw up. I can’t believe you weren’t nervous.”

Taehyung shrugs. “I’ve seen the docufilm, haven’t I? That helped a lot.” The other boys nod in agreement.

“Did it actually help?” Minsuh speaks up for the first time since we entered the room. “We didn’t even take it that seriously, we weren’t sure you guys were even going to find out about us.” From the look on Jungkook’s face I’m guessing that she hasn’t spoken a lot today, and he’s taking in every single word. Minsuh is definitely one of those people that takes a while to open up. When she does though, she goes a million miles an hour.

“I think that it was better that you didn’t take it seriously,” Hoseok says. “That way you seemed more natural. It definitely helped to not just be walking into this blind. Although I can’t say the same for Namjoon.”

I turn to look at him, but he keeps his attention on his food. His brow is furrowed, making it look as though he’s angry at his meal.

“It wasn’t that bad,” Namjoon says. No doubt he can feel my gaze, his ears are slowly turning red. “We still have to watch the last episode!” His head shoots up to look at me. “Do you know when it will be edited and ready to go?”

It’s my turn to furrow my eyebrows. “What are you talking about? I don’t know anything about it.”

“It’s the last episode, it covers the last week. So when you come back to Seoul and find out about meeting us.”

“Namjoon is an avid fan,” Jin teases. “I think he’s watched it three times over.”

“Not true! Just twice.”

“Twice by yourself maybe, but then there was the time we all watched it together! So yes, three times.” Jimin jumps in on the teasing, and I laugh at the accusations. “Leave it to Namjoon to have to study it like a textbook.”

“No way, you watched it three times?” I stare at him dumbfounded before folding my arms on the table and burying my head in them. “That’s so embarrassing. I really didn’t think you’d watch it all.”

The room bursts into yet another fit of laughter at my behavior, but all I can think of is the horrible first impression I must have left on Namjoon. I rarely played along like the other girls, made it a point to avoid the cameras, and didn’t try to really keep up on my logs like I was supposed to when I was back in the states. He probably hated me when he watched them.

I feel a gentle pressure on my arm from Himari, which is followed on the other side by Namjoon. Instead of the comforting words I was looking for, I can practically hear the grin in Himari’s voice.

“I told you to show your face on camera more often! May this serve as a lesson for you. Always listen to me.”

I glare but realize she can’t even see me. Slowly I raise my head, Namjoon assessing my face with a worried look that only subsides when he realizes that I’m not that upset. Just embarrassed.

“You’re never going to let me live this down, are you?”

“Not a chance.”

Jimin has moved on to a different topic now down the table, explaining how awkward he used to be in front of the camera. I almost don’t notice Namjoon leaning in closer to whisper something to me.

“You know, I really didn’t think it was that bad. They were just making fun of me because I watched it almost constantly over the last few weeks.”

I turn to him, trying and failing to glare. “How long have you known?”

He looks down at his hands. “3 weeks.”

My eyebrows raise on their own accord. “Only 3 weeks? And you guys were ok with meeting us already? That’s hardly enough time to...wrap your mind around having a soulmate.”

Namjoon shoots me an incredulous look. “Well, yeah, I guess it’s hard to get. But we all knew that it was a possibility when they ran the tests a few years ago. Why wouldn’t I want to meet you as soon as possible? If I’d had it my way I would’ve had you flown out 3 weeks ago.”

I don’t even know what to say in response to that. Especially not when Namjoon still hasn’t dropped his gaze. I wait for a moment longer to see if he’ll go back to his typical embarrassed state but he doesn’t. I can’t read what’s behind those eyes of his.

“Namjoon-ah, let the girl breathe!”

We both jump at the comment from Jin and turn to find everybody’s eyes on us. Himari gives me an amused smirk which I can’t return since I’m still reeling from a second ago.

“We’ve been waiting for you guys to tell us about your bonding, but if you’re busy…” Himari starts, and I’m quick to jump up.

“Nope! Nope, not at all.”

“Korean, please,” Seohyun hums and I realize with a start that in my flustered state of mind I couldn’t even come up with the right response.

“Right,” I mumble, sinking back into my seat.

“May I just say, I’m not surprised that Beth took the longest.” Seohyun continues, eyes glimmering as she looks at me. “Your maknae is the fastest? Ours has a losing streak.” The other girls chuckle, and I don’t miss the wink Seohyun sends my way.

“Alright alright,” Namjoon cuts in. “What do you want to know? I feel like there’s not a whole lot to say.”

“What did you do? Who initiated? What were your first thoughts of each other?” Yoongi says, clearly not at all opposed to hearing every little detail even after being so clearly closed off about his own experience.

Namjoon sits quietly for a moment, and is just about to speak when a soft knock sounds at the door. Mr. Bang pokes his head in, eyes scanning the room until they land on me.

“Beth, I’ve got Webtoon calling me demanding to put you on the phone. Sorry to interrupt, but could you take the call?”

I frown but stand up. “Sure, that’s fine. Where’s the phone?”

“Your phone is still in the recovery room from earlier.”

“Gotcha,” I turn back to everybody. “I’ll be back in a second.”

Namjoon is halfway out of his seat, looking unsure of his role here. “Do you want me to come with you?”

The thought of him coming with me and it suddenly being just the two of us seems like too much. Especially at the train wreck speed everything is going already. I shake my head, giving him a smile that I hope masks my thoughts.

“No, you stay here. Tell them about what happened. Make us sound cool!” I yell over my shoulder as I head out the door. I can hear the echoes of everybody’s laughter as I make my way down the hall and eventually follow a little sign taped up on the wall that points me in the right direction.

↔

The call doesn’t last long, I just had to confirm a few last minute decisions before next week’s webtoon episode is released. Normally I wouldn’t mind one bit, happy to chat with my editor Ji-hoon Gwan. He’s the same that was there the day I found out about Namjoon being my soulmate, but as far as he’s concerned I’m part of BigHit’s translating team.

I can’t help but notice the feeling that comes as a result of putting distance between my soulmate and I so shortly after our bonding. It’s not painful, but I can literally feel the pull of the bond working to shorten the distance.

It’s easy to find my way back to the conference room, this time with my phone. I’ve grabbed Namjoon’s as well from where he left it in the recovery room. Following the tug from the bond, I’m just outside the door when Namjoon’s phone lights up with a notification drawing my attention.

“Oh my gosh,” I breathe out, nearly dropping his phone in the process of trying to adjust my hold on it to be able to see the screen better.

There I am. Right there, on his lock screen. It’s a screenshot from the documentary, taken just over a year ago at the airport. I’ve got my suitcase trailing behind me, a cheery smile on my face as I wave goodbye. I remember the moment clearly, Himari had just told me to wave goodbye to Namjoon, meaning the camera. I did so a bit sarcastically, completely aware of the fact that I was decked out in sweats and a baseball cap. I look happy though, the camera crew did a good job of finding a good angle.

I let out a shaky breath, trying my best to get a hold of my emotions before I go back into the conference room. I lean up against the wall, resting my head against it as I take a moment to calm my racing heart.

The flurry of emotions subside after a moment, but I can’t set aside the fear that Namjoon may have created a version of me in his head that doesn’t match up with who I actually am. I want to be everything for him, but I’m not foolish enough to entertain that thought for long. I gave up a long time ago hoping that Namjoon would be open and happy about the idea of a soulmate, but now that it’s looking like he might be...I don’t even know how to begin with any of this.

I’m absolutely clueless and still terrified. My heart is trying to leap out of my chest, because all it sees is the fact that I want him. All of him. Anything he’ll give me, I want it. I’ve wanted him for years now. And judging from the evidence I hold in my hands, judging from his comment earlier about how badly he wanted to meet me, he wants me too. But it’s that wanting that terrifies me, because really, deep down, I know that I don’t know him at all. And he doesn’t know me.

It takes a long time for me to reach the surface again, my thoughts are heavy and weigh me down as I swim through them. Slowly I can start to pick out snippets of the hushed conversation inside, and I realize with a start that it’s Namjoon who’s speaking.

“...I’m telling you guys, I haven’t slept in days. I kept thinking that I would wake up and it would all be a dream. But suddenly today happened, and I saw her, and she was real. Can you believe it? I have a soulmate, and I can already tell that she’s incredible.”

I choke back the tears that threaten to spill over as I hear Namjoon’s reverent tone. Clutching his phone to my chest, I breathe in deeply. Oh boy.

“That’s so sweet,” Kyung-soon’s voice drifts through the door. “Trust me, Namjoon. Beth is happy too. She hasn’t allowed herself to really be happy with this whole soulmate thing, always keeping herself in check. I don’t know why, but that’s just the way she is. So don’t be discouraged if it takes her a while to open up. I mean, she finally opened up to me just this week, the day before we found out about meeting you all. It was hard for her-”

I roll my shoulders, trying to make it look like my whole world isn’t spinning too fast for me, and barge inside before Kyung-soon can start going off about how lonely I’ve been feeling. The last thing I need is my soulmate looking at me like I’m a pity case.

Gliding through the door I notice the solemn looks over everyone’s faces. “Please tell me that you made us seem cool,” I say, everybody turning to look at me. Namjoon gazes up at me innocently, his cheeks a little red. No doubt from his heart-to-heart.

I mean, I leave these people alone for 10 minutes and they’re already starting a group therapy session.

He smiles a little, and I force back the sense of fear that rises up in me again. I just want to love you, I think, but I’m so afraid.

“Our spot as the cool ones is secure,” Namjoon reassures me. His smile falters a little as I take my seat. “Now it’s Jiminie’s turn.”

As soon as everybody’s attention is turned to the opposite end of the table, Namjoon places a light hand on my shoulder.

“Are you alright?” He whispers. I sigh. Of course he would have picked up on my change in stress levels. That change going from being chill to contemplating how far away I could run away before anybody noticed my absence.

All I can do is nod, the close proximity finally soothing the pull of the bond but doing nothing for the strange ache in my chest.

Namjoon doesn’t settle for a meager nod. “You sure? Is everything ok with work?”

Right, I’d nearly forgotten the point of my absence in the first place. Which reminds me of what I hold in my hands.

“Oh! I-I brought our phones back from the recovery room.” Inwardly cursing myself for my stutter, I pass Namjoon his phone. “And yeah, everything is fine with work. Did you feel something when I left? The bond?” I quickly try to change the topic as Namjoon’s eyes land on his phone which lights up with the movement.

“Huh? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I could feel it. It was...strange.” He keeps looking at his phone, or more specifically, me. He clenches his jaw in thought.

“Beth, you didn’t happen to notice…” he trails off for a moment, looking guilty. I remain silent, trying to talk myself into telling him the truth instead of feigning ignorance. “Um, my lock screen? Is that what this is about?”

I put my guard up a little too late, and Namjoon scrambles to explain himself upon seeing my expression. Which I’m sure reflects the uncertainty swirling inside me.

“I’m so sorry Beth, that was probably so weird for you. I just-I don’t know…” I can tell that he wants to say so much but he quickly realizes that we’re not alone in this room. “I swear, I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable. I guess I don’t have a valid excuse. I’ll change it-”

“No, don’t change it.”

Namjoon looks puzzled as he had already opened his phone to change the lock screen. It makes me feel a little better to see that his home screen is a photo of a concert, the sea of army bombs looking beautiful.

“You don’t want me to change it?” He cocks his head, trying to look into my eyes which I keep firmly pointed to his phone.

“You don’t have to. It’s cute.” Biting my lip I sigh out my nose, still avoiding his eyes. “I just wasn’t expecting it, I guess. I’m so sorry to make you feel bad. Everything is just happening so quickly today. It’s my bad, I’ll be fine. Don’t worry.”

I turn back to the rest of the table before Namjoon can launch himself into another string of apologies. He huffs out a sigh at my side, locking his phone again, thus keeping me as his lock screen.

Jimin and Aera are in the middle of explaining how Aera got the hiccups during their bonding. He reenacts how his body shook with each hiccup, bringing about a round of laughter.

Namjoon doesn’t speak again, instead choosing to scoot closer. I feel a little tug on my sweater sleeve, then Namjoon is grabbing my hand and slipping it under the table where nobody can see.

He doesn’t say a single word, just holds my hand as he runs his thumb over my knuckles. Slowly but surely, I begin to relax. Somehow without communicating a single word, he’s managed to soothe my worries. At least for now.

When I finally pull my focus away from Namjoon’s hand in mine I realize that we’ve moved on to Taehyung and Ichika.

“So cute,” Taehyung gushes. Ichika gives him a lopsided grin which he returns with a boxy one. “Sorry I cried on you.”

Ichika chuckles, shaking her head. “I’m just glad that we made it. Nobody appears to be too scarred from the experience.” From the look they’re giving each other I can tell that they must have already had a good conversation earlier. It’s clearly being continued silently, and Taehyung gets up to stand behind Ichika’s chair, resuming his position from earlier and wrapping his arms around her.

“Your turn Jungkookie,” Taehyung states before leaning down to hum a melody that Ichika closes her eyes to enjoy.

Jungkook fidgets about in his chair, Minsuh looking no less awkward. Jin gives the younger boy a nudge.

“You two were the fastest,” he says, trying to give Jungkook somewhere to start. “Did it feel fast?”

Jungkook shakes his head at the same time Minsuh nods. They look at each other a little startled.

“Did it go fast for you?” Jungkook asks, and I can’t help but swoon a little at the kindness in his gaze.

Minsuh nods. “It felt like I barely had enough time to blink before everything hit.”

“Huh. It felt like a really long time for me. It was pretty intense though, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah, it was.” The two of them are looking at each other like they’re the only two in the room. It would appear that the intensity of their bond has yet to fade.

I’m desperately racking my brain to come up with something to say to break the growing silence, but the door swings open before I get a chance to come up with something.

Bang PD slips through the door, laptop in hand. A couple of managers trail in behind him, greeting us as they head to the front of the room.

“Everybody doing alright?”

“Oh, we’re great. Did you come for food?” Jin asks, resting his chin on his hand. Mr. Bang smiles at the eldest member of the group.

“No, I already ate. I’m actually here to discuss everybody’s plans for the next few weeks. And yes, I know what you’re thinking, Beth.” I straighten up when he mentions me. Mr. Bang observes Namjoon and I, his eyes drifting to where both our hands disappear beneath the table. “Don’t worry, I’ve been in the process of figuring everything out with Webtoon. You’re on official BigHit business for the next few weeks.”

“Are you trying to rid me of my job?” I raise my eyebrows at him. Bang PD only smiles at me, already used to my personality.

“Absolutely. Really, Mr. Gwan didn’t seem too sad to lose a few weeks with you, maybe you should look into that.”

The boys audibly gasp, Namjoon’s grip on my hand tightening as he looks at his boss with something akin to horror. If only he knew that we’re just getting started.

“He probably knows better than to go against you. After all, we all know just how much you’ve missed me. Wasn’t it just a few months ago that you were lost in the states and I had to come pick you-”

“Alright everybody, let’s get down to it!” Mr. Bang turns away from me and I smile in victory. A few months ago Mr. Bang came to the states on vacation, but his car wasn’t available at the airport. I had to come pick him up, which led to an eventful afternoon involving lunch and an angry pigeon.

One of the managers heads over to the white board, mapping out a rough itinerary. It takes me a second to translate the writing in my head, but I get the general gist. If anything, I understand the wide-eyed expressions of my soul-sisters and the boys as they wait for our reactions.

“Wait, what?” Himari whispers, but everybody hears it.

Hoseok smiles sheepishly at her from across the table. “Is this ok?”

I turn to look back at the itinerary, looking past Namjoon as he turns to assess my reaction.

Okinawa Island, Japan

4 days

4 episodes

“We’re going to Japan?” Ichika asks. She looks hopeful, it’s been a while since she’s gone back.

“Only if everybody is ok with it,” Taehyung says, squeezing her shoulders.

“I’ve been discussing this with the boys ever since they found out,” Mr. Bang shoots a glare to Jungkook and the boy smiles innocently back at him. There must be a story there. Come to think of it, I still don’t know how the boys found out in the first place. “And I really feel like we’ve always done things a certain way and we shouldn’t stop that just because there’s suddenly seven new faces around here.”

“What are you getting at?” I ask. I’m pretty sure Namjoon can feel my rapid heart rate through our joined hands.

Mr. Bang takes a deep breath. “You shouldn’t be a secret. You already have been for 3 years, and I’m sorry that you had to hide for so long. However, you will no longer be kept in hiding. Of course, when you decide to share your...relationships with the public is completely up to you. For the time being however, we’ve decided to go about this in a certain way.”

He pauses, allowing us a moment to let everything sink in. I look over at Kyung-soon, who’s viciously chewing her lip. Jin has his eyes trained on her, clearly terrified she’ll veto any idea that comes up.

Ichika once again speaks up. “It says 4 episodes...are you meaning to film us in Japan? Like some sort of Bon Voyage?”

Bang snaps his fingers. “Exactly. BTS has always been content oriented, geared toward the fans. We’ve been over this many times before, but you will have to share the burden- and joys- that come with being in the spotlight. In order for your relationships to have a smoother transition for when you decide to go public, we’ve decided to provide some content for the fans. This is our proposal. 4 days in Japan on Okinawa Island. There will be separate quarters for the boys and girls, and we will have a variety of activities for you all to do. Not only for the content, but also to allow you all some time to further bond before you’re thrown back into real life.”

It’s silent in the room. Namjoon takes up running his thumb along the back of my hand again, an action I didn’t even realize he’d stopped.

4 days. All the soulmates, on a beautiful island in Japan. Sure, there will be cameras, but isn’t that something I’ve anticipated? I’ve known for a while now that where Namjoon is, cameras will be sure to follow.

Once again, the girls slowly look to me. I’ve never understood our dynamic that we have, but somehow I manage to pull my thoughts together and answer Bang PD’s unspoken question.

“When do we leave?”

It’s like the breath of life has been breathed back into the room, all the boys letting out a sigh of relief. Namjoon gives me another squeeze, grinning slightly at me. I give him a look that says, Remember how I said this was all moving so quickly? Yeah, still feeling that. You’re going to be the death of me.

Bang PD grins at me, and I can already feel my stomach drop before the words even leave his mouth. “How does tomorrow sound?”

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