13. “That could’ve been worse.” “We literally just started a fire and you’re saying it could’ve been worse?”
The snow falling outside makes everything quiet as I trudge along. The entire neighborhood is nearly silent tonight, making me smile to myself as I wander in the winter wonderland.
It’s been about a month since we moved into the boys’ neighborhood. While I do miss living so close to the street vendors and various restaurants, I suppose living four houses down from my soulmate is a pretty good trade.
Now that it’s officially the holidays, everyone is going about in a frenzy with their busy schedules. The boys have been off filming different performances and promos, I’ve been holed up at Webtoon for the past week trying to put together a Christmas special, and Ichika and Himari have been in Japan visiting family for the holidays.
Needless to say that Hobi and Tae have been feeling quite sorry for themselves since they’ve gone a whole week without seeing their soulmates.
Tonight the two of them are off to the airport to pick them up. In fact, Namjoon told me that he has the whole house to himself. Kyung-soon told me (or warned, I couldn’t tell) that her and Jin were going Christmas tree hunting, JK and Minsuh are on a double with Jimin and Aera (apparently they rented out an ice skating rink?) and Yoongi and Seohyun promised to go pick up some decorations.
Tonight we’re celebrating the holiday season and Ichika and Himari’s return.
So when I offered to help make some stuffing (to be honest, I think I’ll probably be the only one that eats it), Namjoon was more than happy to offer his kitchen.
Stomping my boots and leaving them on the shoe rack outside, I enter the apartment, about to call for Namjoon until I hear the music.
“Cuz Saaaanta Clause is comin’ to town, ooh Saaa- hey!”
Namjoon stops in the middle of his beautiful - albeit pitchy - rendition of Santa Clause is Coming to Town in order to jump off the couch and run my way.
“Why’d you stop?” I ask, giggling as he tilts my chin up to peck my lips. “I thought it was really good.”
“Oh, I’m sure you did. Should we get started?” He leads the way to the kitchen where all of the ingredients are laid out already. His brows are furrowed as he reads over the small recipe card I printed out yesterday. Chuckling, I head over to the cupboard with the cutting boards.
“It’s really simple, Joon. Wanna help me cut the celery?”
The two of us work in unison, singing along to the Christmas carols that are playing perhaps a little too loudly. There’s only a couple of times when I have to help Namjoon, for the most part he’s improved in his chopping skills.
“Where’s the brea- oh, there it is. Ok, so lets mix it all together...good. Casserole dish?”
Namjoon holds the bowl while I scoop the stuffing into the casserole dish. Once it’s evenly spread, I make sure the oven is at the right temperature before turning back to the recipe card.
“Alright, go ahead and put that in the oven now. We’ll set the timer for thirty-”
There’s a loud bang and I whirl around to see Namjoon hastily closing the oven.
“What was that?”
Namjoon looks like a kid that ate an extra cookie without permission. “Nothing, I just bumped the dish. It’s fine. Wanna watch a movie while we wait?”
Shrugging I scurry over to the couch and settle down into the cushions, Namjoon chuckling as he grabs the remote.
We settle for “Elf”, and we’re about fifteen minutes in I start to smell something burning.
“Do you smell that?” I ask, sitting straight up from where I was leaning against Namjoon. He follows suit.
Jumping up from the couch I make beeline for the kitchen, but pause when I don’t see anything burning.
“What is it?” Namjoon asks.
Groaning internally, I yank the oven door open only to yelp.
Huge chunks of bread have fallen to the bottom of the oven, where they caught fire and are currently burning to a crisp.
“Ah! What do we do?!” Namjoon shrieks, running about the kitchen as though in search of a fire extinguisher.
Leaping up, I turn the oven off before pulling the stuffing out. I’m not sure whether to laugh or cry at this point as I see how depressing the dish looks. It’s certainly missing quite a bit of bread now.
“Kim Namjoon, you are a dead man!” I shout, watching as the bread on the bottom of the oven extinguish themselves and turn into smoking lumps of black.
“Wait, is it over?” Namjoon peaks over my shoulder. “Oh, that could’ve been worse.”
I turn to look at him with wide eyes. “We literally just started a fire and you’re saying it could’ve been worse?”
He has the good sense to look a bit sheepish as he chews on his lower lip. “I didn’t think it’d actually catch on fire-”
“Wait, what?” Suddenly I remember the bang I heard when Namjoon put the stuffing in. That must have been what caused the bread to fall. “Oh Joon...it’s a good thing I like you.”
“Like? I thought it was love.”
“Ask me again after we fix the stuffing.”
A dragging sound coming from outside alerts us to someone’s presence, and before we can even do anything the door swings open to reveal the stump of a tree. Jin and Kyung-soon follow shortly after, grinning like idiots.
Ok ya’ll here we go! I’m excited for all that’s coming. Who’s your fav couple so far?
The conference room has transformed into a restaurant, the tension from earlier having dissipated as everyone goes about giving hilarious accounts of their bonding.
“Of course I was angry!” Kyung-soon is red in the face but laughing.
“Why on earth would you be angry about that? I fought tooth and nail to be able to go first! I couldn’t wait a second longer to meet my beautiful soulmate!” Jin defends himself, viciously taking another bite of his food. It’s enough to send us all back into a fit of laughter.
Kyung-soon looks at Namjoon with a doubtful look in her eyes. “Be honest, Namjoon.” Over the space of the past few minutes we’ve decided to abandon all honorifics, which I greatly appreciate. I was bound to mess them up at some point. “Did he really want to go first?”
Jin shoots Namjoon a death-glare, and Namjoon hesitates a moment before plucking up enough courage to go against his brother. “No, he was nearly in tears because he was so scared.”
If it wasn’t chaotic before it definitely is now. Jin nearly launches himself at Namjoon, but he’s caught between that and defending himself from Kyung-soon’s wrath. The rest of us simply drink in the moment, finally not so nervous as before.
Namjoon looks at me pleadingly from across the table as he evades Jin’s verbal attacks. “Are you not going to help me?”
I shake my head no, my cheeks starting to hurt from laughing so hard over the past few minutes. “It isn’t my problem that you just threw Jin under the bus!”
Jin is in the process of fiercely agreeing with me when Namjoon stands up from his seat and drags it over to my side of the table. I’m suddenly not laughing anymore when he settles down beside me.
“Oh Namjoon-ah, so bold today!” Hoseok says, his heart-smile on full display. Neither one of us says anything, instead choosing to attack our food.
“Yah, who’s next?” Himari comes to our rescue. “Oh, Seohyun. What happened with you two?”
Yoongi looks up to Seohyun with wide eyes. No doubt he doesn’t want the finer details to be discussed, but I can also tell that he won’t stop her if she wants to talk about it.
“Nothing much,” Seohyun shrugs. “We just bonded. That’s all.” She shuts down any further questions, and I hope that she catches the small smile of gratitude on Yoongi’s face.
“You two are a nice match,” Jimin points out. “It’s cool to see it, from this perspective.”
Yoongi coughs. “Alright, Hobi. Take it away.”
“I see what you did there,” Himari jokes. She looks to Hoseok expectantly, the two of them already chuckling at the memory of their bonding.
I glance at Namjoon to find him already looking at me again. This is turning out to be a habit of his.
“This should be good,” I whisper to him as Hoseok starts. Namjoon nods vigorously.
“Definitely.”
“Well, as you all know,” Hoseok gestures to the boys, “I was so excited that I nearly bumped Jin out of his spot as first to go.” This merits a pointed cough from Kyung-soon which Jin blatantly ignores. “Apparently Himari was too, because we couldn’t even make it through the entire bonding process without having to take a seat!”
“Wait,” Taehyung interrupts, “You couldn’t stand through it?”
Hoseok laughs, shaking his head. “No, how could the rest of you?!”
“Only you, Hobi. That’s amazing.” Taehyung giggles, looking over to Ichika. “I wish I could do it again.”
Ichika raises her eyebrows at the boy. “Speak for yourself, I thought I was about the throw up. I can’t believe you weren’t nervous.”
Taehyung shrugs. “I’ve seen the docufilm, haven’t I? That helped a lot.” The other boys nod in agreement.
“Did it actually help?” Minsuh speaks up for the first time since we entered the room. “We didn’t even take it that seriously, we weren’t sure you guys were even going to find out about us.” From the look on Jungkook’s face I’m guessing that she hasn’t spoken a lot today, and he’s taking in every single word. Minsuh is definitely one of those people that takes a while to open up. When she does though, she goes a million miles an hour.
“I think that it was better that you didn’t take it seriously,” Hoseok says. “That way you seemed more natural. It definitely helped to not just be walking into this blind. Although I can’t say the same for Namjoon.”
I turn to look at him, but he keeps his attention on his food. His brow is furrowed, making it look as though he’s angry at his meal.
“It wasn’t that bad,” Namjoon says. No doubt he can feel my gaze, his ears are slowly turning red. “We still have to watch the last episode!” His head shoots up to look at me. “Do you know when it will be edited and ready to go?”
It’s my turn to furrow my eyebrows. “What are you talking about? I don’t know anything about it.”
“It’s the last episode, it covers the last week. So when you come back to Seoul and find out about meeting us.”
“Namjoon is an avid fan,” Jin teases. “I think he’s watched it three times over.”
“Not true! Just twice.”
“Twice by yourself maybe, but then there was the time we all watched it together! So yes, three times.” Jimin jumps in on the teasing, and I laugh at the accusations. “Leave it to Namjoon to have to study it like a textbook.”
“No way, you watched it three times?” I stare at him dumbfounded before folding my arms on the table and burying my head in them. “That’s so embarrassing. I really didn’t think you’d watch it all.”
The room bursts into yet another fit of laughter at my behavior, but all I can think of is the horrible first impression I must have left on Namjoon. I rarely played along like the other girls, made it a point to avoid the cameras, and didn’t try to really keep up on my logs like I was supposed to when I was back in the states. He probably hated me when he watched them.
I feel a gentle pressure on my arm from Himari, which is followed on the other side by Namjoon. Instead of the comforting words I was looking for, I can practically hear the grin in Himari’s voice.
“I told you to show your face on camera more often! May this serve as a lesson for you. Always listen to me.”
I glare but realize she can’t even see me. Slowly I raise my head, Namjoon assessing my face with a worried look that only subsides when he realizes that I’m not that upset. Just embarrassed.
“You’re never going to let me live this down, are you?”
“Not a chance.”
Jimin has moved on to a different topic now down the table, explaining how awkward he used to be in front of the camera. I almost don’t notice Namjoon leaning in closer to whisper something to me.
“You know, I really didn’t think it was that bad. They were just making fun of me because I watched it almost constantly over the last few weeks.”
I turn to him, trying and failing to glare. “How long have you known?”
He looks down at his hands. “3 weeks.”
My eyebrows raise on their own accord. “Only 3 weeks? And you guys were ok with meeting us already? That’s hardly enough time to...wrap your mind around having a soulmate.”
Namjoon shoots me an incredulous look. “Well, yeah, I guess it’s hard to get. But we all knew that it was a possibility when they ran the tests a few years ago. Why wouldn’t I want to meet you as soon as possible? If I’d had it my way I would’ve had you flown out 3 weeks ago.”
I don’t even know what to say in response to that. Especially not when Namjoon still hasn’t dropped his gaze. I wait for a moment longer to see if he’ll go back to his typical embarrassed state but he doesn’t. I can’t read what’s behind those eyes of his.
“Namjoon-ah, let the girl breathe!”
We both jump at the comment from Jin and turn to find everybody’s eyes on us. Himari gives me an amused smirk which I can’t return since I’m still reeling from a second ago.
“We’ve been waiting for you guys to tell us about your bonding, but if you’re busy…” Himari starts, and I’m quick to jump up.
“Nope! Nope, not at all.”
“Korean, please,” Seohyun hums and I realize with a start that in my flustered state of mind I couldn’t even come up with the right response.
“Right,” I mumble, sinking back into my seat.
“May I just say, I’m not surprised that Beth took the longest.” Seohyun continues, eyes glimmering as she looks at me. “Your maknae is the fastest? Ours has a losing streak.” The other girls chuckle, and I don’t miss the wink Seohyun sends my way.
“Alright alright,” Namjoon cuts in. “What do you want to know? I feel like there’s not a whole lot to say.”
“What did you do? Who initiated? What were your first thoughts of each other?” Yoongi says, clearly not at all opposed to hearing every little detail even after being so clearly closed off about his own experience.
Namjoon sits quietly for a moment, and is just about to speak when a soft knock sounds at the door. Mr. Bang pokes his head in, eyes scanning the room until they land on me.
“Beth, I’ve got Webtoon calling me demanding to put you on the phone. Sorry to interrupt, but could you take the call?”
I frown but stand up. “Sure, that’s fine. Where’s the phone?”
“Your phone is still in the recovery room from earlier.”
“Gotcha,” I turn back to everybody. “I’ll be back in a second.”
Namjoon is halfway out of his seat, looking unsure of his role here. “Do you want me to come with you?”
The thought of him coming with me and it suddenly being just the two of us seems like too much. Especially at the train wreck speed everything is going already. I shake my head, giving him a smile that I hope masks my thoughts.
“No, you stay here. Tell them about what happened. Make us sound cool!” I yell over my shoulder as I head out the door. I can hear the echoes of everybody’s laughter as I make my way down the hall and eventually follow a little sign taped up on the wall that points me in the right direction.
↔
The call doesn’t last long, I just had to confirm a few last minute decisions before next week’s webtoon episode is released. Normally I wouldn’t mind one bit, happy to chat with my editor Ji-hoon Gwan. He’s the same that was there the day I found out about Namjoon being my soulmate, but as far as he’s concerned I’m part of BigHit’s translating team.
I can’t help but notice the feeling that comes as a result of putting distance between my soulmate and I so shortly after our bonding. It’s not painful, but I can literally feel the pull of the bond working to shorten the distance.
It’s easy to find my way back to the conference room, this time with my phone. I’ve grabbed Namjoon’s as well from where he left it in the recovery room. Following the tug from the bond, I’m just outside the door when Namjoon’s phone lights up with a notification drawing my attention.
“Oh my gosh,” I breathe out, nearly dropping his phone in the process of trying to adjust my hold on it to be able to see the screen better.
There I am. Right there, on his lock screen. It’s a screenshot from the documentary, taken just over a year ago at the airport. I’ve got my suitcase trailing behind me, a cheery smile on my face as I wave goodbye. I remember the moment clearly, Himari had just told me to wave goodbye to Namjoon, meaning the camera. I did so a bit sarcastically, completely aware of the fact that I was decked out in sweats and a baseball cap. I look happy though, the camera crew did a good job of finding a good angle.
I let out a shaky breath, trying my best to get a hold of my emotions before I go back into the conference room. I lean up against the wall, resting my head against it as I take a moment to calm my racing heart.
The flurry of emotions subside after a moment, but I can’t set aside the fear that Namjoon may have created a version of me in his head that doesn’t match up with who I actually am. I want to be everything for him, but I’m not foolish enough to entertain that thought for long. I gave up a long time ago hoping that Namjoon would be open and happy about the idea of a soulmate, but now that it’s looking like he might be...I don’t even know how to begin with any of this.
I’m absolutely clueless and still terrified. My heart is trying to leap out of my chest, because all it sees is the fact that I want him. All of him. Anything he’ll give me, I want it. I’ve wanted him for years now. And judging from the evidence I hold in my hands, judging from his comment earlier about how badly he wanted to meet me, he wants me too. But it’s that wanting that terrifies me, because really, deep down, I know that I don’t know him at all. And he doesn’t know me.
It takes a long time for me to reach the surface again, my thoughts are heavy and weigh me down as I swim through them. Slowly I can start to pick out snippets of the hushed conversation inside, and I realize with a start that it’s Namjoon who’s speaking.
“...I’m telling you guys, I haven’t slept in days. I kept thinking that I would wake up and it would all be a dream. But suddenly today happened, and I saw her, and she was real. Can you believe it? I have a soulmate, and I can already tell that she’s incredible.”
I choke back the tears that threaten to spill over as I hear Namjoon’s reverent tone. Clutching his phone to my chest, I breathe in deeply. Oh boy.
“That’s so sweet,” Kyung-soon’s voice drifts through the door. “Trust me, Namjoon. Beth is happy too. She hasn’t allowed herself to really be happy with this whole soulmate thing, always keeping herself in check. I don’t know why, but that’s just the way she is. So don’t be discouraged if it takes her a while to open up. I mean, she finally opened up to me just this week, the day before we found out about meeting you all. It was hard for her-”
I roll my shoulders, trying to make it look like my whole world isn’t spinning too fast for me, and barge inside before Kyung-soon can start going off about how lonely I’ve been feeling. The last thing I need is my soulmate looking at me like I’m a pity case.
Gliding through the door I notice the solemn looks over everyone’s faces. “Please tell me that you made us seem cool,” I say, everybody turning to look at me. Namjoon gazes up at me innocently, his cheeks a little red. No doubt from his heart-to-heart.
I mean, I leave these people alone for 10 minutes and they’re already starting a group therapy session.
He smiles a little, and I force back the sense of fear that rises up in me again. I just want to love you, I think, but I’m so afraid.
“Our spot as the cool ones is secure,” Namjoon reassures me. His smile falters a little as I take my seat. “Now it’s Jiminie’s turn.”
As soon as everybody’s attention is turned to the opposite end of the table, Namjoon places a light hand on my shoulder.
“Are you alright?” He whispers. I sigh. Of course he would have picked up on my change in stress levels. That change going from being chill to contemplating how far away I could run away before anybody noticed my absence.
All I can do is nod, the close proximity finally soothing the pull of the bond but doing nothing for the strange ache in my chest.
Namjoon doesn’t settle for a meager nod. “You sure? Is everything ok with work?”
Right, I’d nearly forgotten the point of my absence in the first place. Which reminds me of what I hold in my hands.
“Oh! I-I brought our phones back from the recovery room.” Inwardly cursing myself for my stutter, I pass Namjoon his phone. “And yeah, everything is fine with work. Did you feel something when I left? The bond?” I quickly try to change the topic as Namjoon’s eyes land on his phone which lights up with the movement.
“Huh? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I could feel it. It was...strange.” He keeps looking at his phone, or more specifically, me. He clenches his jaw in thought.
“Beth, you didn’t happen to notice…” he trails off for a moment, looking guilty. I remain silent, trying to talk myself into telling him the truth instead of feigning ignorance. “Um, my lock screen? Is that what this is about?”
I put my guard up a little too late, and Namjoon scrambles to explain himself upon seeing my expression. Which I’m sure reflects the uncertainty swirling inside me.
“I’m so sorry Beth, that was probably so weird for you. I just-I don’t know…” I can tell that he wants to say so much but he quickly realizes that we’re not alone in this room. “I swear, I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable. I guess I don’t have a valid excuse. I’ll change it-”
“No, don’t change it.”
Namjoon looks puzzled as he had already opened his phone to change the lock screen. It makes me feel a little better to see that his home screen is a photo of a concert, the sea of army bombs looking beautiful.
“You don’t want me to change it?” He cocks his head, trying to look into my eyes which I keep firmly pointed to his phone.
“You don’t have to. It’s cute.” Biting my lip I sigh out my nose, still avoiding his eyes. “I just wasn’t expecting it, I guess. I’m so sorry to make you feel bad. Everything is just happening so quickly today. It’s my bad, I’ll be fine. Don’t worry.”
I turn back to the rest of the table before Namjoon can launch himself into another string of apologies. He huffs out a sigh at my side, locking his phone again, thus keeping me as his lock screen.
Jimin and Aera are in the middle of explaining how Aera got the hiccups during their bonding. He reenacts how his body shook with each hiccup, bringing about a round of laughter.
Namjoon doesn’t speak again, instead choosing to scoot closer. I feel a little tug on my sweater sleeve, then Namjoon is grabbing my hand and slipping it under the table where nobody can see.
He doesn’t say a single word, just holds my hand as he runs his thumb over my knuckles. Slowly but surely, I begin to relax. Somehow without communicating a single word, he’s managed to soothe my worries. At least for now.
When I finally pull my focus away from Namjoon’s hand in mine I realize that we’ve moved on to Taehyung and Ichika.
“So cute,” Taehyung gushes. Ichika gives him a lopsided grin which he returns with a boxy one. “Sorry I cried on you.”
Ichika chuckles, shaking her head. “I’m just glad that we made it. Nobody appears to be too scarred from the experience.” From the look they’re giving each other I can tell that they must have already had a good conversation earlier. It’s clearly being continued silently, and Taehyung gets up to stand behind Ichika’s chair, resuming his position from earlier and wrapping his arms around her.
“Your turn Jungkookie,” Taehyung states before leaning down to hum a melody that Ichika closes her eyes to enjoy.
Jungkook fidgets about in his chair, Minsuh looking no less awkward. Jin gives the younger boy a nudge.
“You two were the fastest,” he says, trying to give Jungkook somewhere to start. “Did it feel fast?”
Jungkook shakes his head at the same time Minsuh nods. They look at each other a little startled.
“Did it go fast for you?” Jungkook asks, and I can’t help but swoon a little at the kindness in his gaze.
Minsuh nods. “It felt like I barely had enough time to blink before everything hit.”
“Huh. It felt like a really long time for me. It was pretty intense though, wasn’t it?”
“Yeah, it was.” The two of them are looking at each other like they’re the only two in the room. It would appear that the intensity of their bond has yet to fade.
I’m desperately racking my brain to come up with something to say to break the growing silence, but the door swings open before I get a chance to come up with something.
Bang PD slips through the door, laptop in hand. A couple of managers trail in behind him, greeting us as they head to the front of the room.
“Everybody doing alright?”
“Oh, we’re great. Did you come for food?” Jin asks, resting his chin on his hand. Mr. Bang smiles at the eldest member of the group.
“No, I already ate. I’m actually here to discuss everybody’s plans for the next few weeks. And yes, I know what you’re thinking, Beth.” I straighten up when he mentions me. Mr. Bang observes Namjoon and I, his eyes drifting to where both our hands disappear beneath the table. “Don’t worry, I’ve been in the process of figuring everything out with Webtoon. You’re on official BigHit business for the next few weeks.”
“Are you trying to rid me of my job?” I raise my eyebrows at him. Bang PD only smiles at me, already used to my personality.
“Absolutely. Really, Mr. Gwan didn’t seem too sad to lose a few weeks with you, maybe you should look into that.”
The boys audibly gasp, Namjoon’s grip on my hand tightening as he looks at his boss with something akin to horror. If only he knew that we’re just getting started.
“He probably knows better than to go against you. After all, we all know just how much you’ve missed me. Wasn’t it just a few months ago that you were lost in the states and I had to come pick you-”
“Alright everybody, let’s get down to it!” Mr. Bang turns away from me and I smile in victory. A few months ago Mr. Bang came to the states on vacation, but his car wasn’t available at the airport. I had to come pick him up, which led to an eventful afternoon involving lunch and an angry pigeon.
One of the managers heads over to the white board, mapping out a rough itinerary. It takes me a second to translate the writing in my head, but I get the general gist. If anything, I understand the wide-eyed expressions of my soul-sisters and the boys as they wait for our reactions.
“Wait, what?” Himari whispers, but everybody hears it.
Hoseok smiles sheepishly at her from across the table. “Is this ok?”
I turn to look back at the itinerary, looking past Namjoon as he turns to assess my reaction.
Okinawa Island, Japan
4 days
4 episodes
“We’re going to Japan?” Ichika asks. She looks hopeful, it’s been a while since she’s gone back.
“Only if everybody is ok with it,” Taehyung says, squeezing her shoulders.
“I’ve been discussing this with the boys ever since they found out,” Mr. Bang shoots a glare to Jungkook and the boy smiles innocently back at him. There must be a story there. Come to think of it, I still don’t know how the boys found out in the first place. “And I really feel like we’ve always done things a certain way and we shouldn’t stop that just because there’s suddenly seven new faces around here.”
“What are you getting at?” I ask. I’m pretty sure Namjoon can feel my rapid heart rate through our joined hands.
Mr. Bang takes a deep breath. “You shouldn’t be a secret. You already have been for 3 years, and I’m sorry that you had to hide for so long. However, you will no longer be kept in hiding. Of course, when you decide to share your...relationships with the public is completely up to you. For the time being however, we’ve decided to go about this in a certain way.”
He pauses, allowing us a moment to let everything sink in. I look over at Kyung-soon, who’s viciously chewing her lip. Jin has his eyes trained on her, clearly terrified she’ll veto any idea that comes up.
Ichika once again speaks up. “It says 4 episodes...are you meaning to film us in Japan? Like some sort of Bon Voyage?”
Bang snaps his fingers. “Exactly. BTS has always been content oriented, geared toward the fans. We’ve been over this many times before, but you will have to share the burden- and joys- that come with being in the spotlight. In order for your relationships to have a smoother transition for when you decide to go public, we’ve decided to provide some content for the fans. This is our proposal. 4 days in Japan on Okinawa Island. There will be separate quarters for the boys and girls, and we will have a variety of activities for you all to do. Not only for the content, but also to allow you all some time to further bond before you’re thrown back into real life.”
It’s silent in the room. Namjoon takes up running his thumb along the back of my hand again, an action I didn’t even realize he’d stopped.
4 days. All the soulmates, on a beautiful island in Japan. Sure, there will be cameras, but isn’t that something I’ve anticipated? I’ve known for a while now that where Namjoon is, cameras will be sure to follow.
Once again, the girls slowly look to me. I’ve never understood our dynamic that we have, but somehow I manage to pull my thoughts together and answer Bang PD’s unspoken question.
“When do we leave?”
It’s like the breath of life has been breathed back into the room, all the boys letting out a sigh of relief. Namjoon gives me another squeeze, grinning slightly at me. I give him a look that says, Remember how I said this was all moving so quickly? Yeah, still feeling that. You’re going to be the death of me.
Bang PD grins at me, and I can already feel my stomach drop before the words even leave his mouth. “How does tomorrow sound?”
Previous - Next
Taglist is open! Any predictions for what’s going to happen next?
I rewrote this part a few times, I wanted to get it just right. I hope you enjoy! Stuff is about to go down lol
**Song rec for this chapter: “So Will I” by Ben Platt
Thursday begins with a bang.
More specifically, it begins with the sound of Ichika falling off of her bed from the upper floor, and me waking up at the sound and wondering for half a moment what I’ve got going on today.
Ignorance is bliss.
The house is oddly quiet, and I lay there for a lot longer than I thought I would be able to. I eye my shopping bag at the foot of my bed, eager to get ready. Like Himari said last night: we’re going to look good today.
It isn’t until a light knock sounds at my door that I realize I’ve been dozing off again. Ichika peeks inside, her face lighting up in a grin when she sees my bedhead.
“Good morning,” she chimes before padding over and flinging herself onto my bed. We lay there for a long while, quietly chatting about the day and how we’re going to get ready and style our hair.
Next comes Aera, her bedhead even more impressive than mine. She doesn’t say a word, simply sliding in under the covers.
Minsuh and Seohyun appear later on. My bed isn’t nearly big enough to accommodate us all but I don’t mention it, opting to bask in the lazy morning that feels like the calm before the storm.
It’s nearly noon by the time Himari and Kyung-soon show up, the two of them cracking up at the scene.
“Wait, let me grab my phone!” Himari runs to get her phone and snaps a photo of the five of us buried on my bed.
“Alright,” Kyung-soon sighs, a light in her eyes that I haven’t seen there before. “Let’s eat. We can’t be hangry when we meet our soulmates.”
It’s like she said the magic word, because soon enough my room is empty with only Himari left behind.
“Wow, they only wanted me for my bed. How rude,” I joke, earning a light laugh. “Are you ready for today?”
Himari smirks at me. “You know, I’ve had three years to prepare but somehow this morning I woke up feeling just as unprepared and giddy as I did three years ago. Isn’t that strange?”
She slings her arm around me and we make our way downstairs to the chaotic kitchen. “No, I get what you mean. I feel really chill right now, but it’s like I can feel the storm coming.” A couple of the other girls hear my comment and are quick to agree.
Seohyun lets out a shaky breath, the girl showing the first signs of nervousness. She says something that surprises me a bit, seeing how she’s always been the most vocal about her soulmate. “Well, I guess that no matter what happens today, everything will be alright. At the end of the day, we’ll still have each other.” She smiles at us as she takes a bite of her toast. “That’s more than enough for me.”
“Aw, so sentimental, Seohyunie.” Aera coos.
“Yeah, you’re not allowed to get us all emotional this early in the day.” Ichika says.
“It’s literally already the afternoon,” Seohyun fires back, her cheeks red.
“Well, bicker all you want, but I’m going to go get ready!” Minsuh has already devoured her breakfast, the excitement prominent on her face. I’m glad to see that her worries from the other night have subsided.
“Minsuh!” Himari shouts after the fleeing girl.
“Yeah?”
“I’ll pay for your meals for a month if you wear your pajamas to meet Jungkook!”
“Not a chance!”
↔
5 pm has come all too soon.
I fidget in my room as I take one last look in the full-length mirror. My hair falls around me in long curls; the time it took to perfect them definitely paid off. There’s a bit of rain falling, so I don my new trenchcoat in preparation for the cooler weather.
I smile at my reflection, amazed at the power a beautiful (but cozy) outfit has on my mood. My reflection portrays a young woman who looks like she’s ready to take on the world.
I only hope that confidence doesn’t abandon me.
It’s currently 4:45, the van should be here in 15 minutes. I take the moment of peace to close the door to my room and settle down on my bed, hesitating before picking a song to listen to.
I pluck up the courage and click on the song. “Forever Rain” from Namjoon’s playlist “Mono” plays, the light pitter patter of the rain from outside creating a surreal atmosphere.
Closing my eyes, I allow the song to wrap around me. Namjoon’s soothing voice both calms me and makes my heart race as I wonder for the fiftieth time today what he’s doing right now.
As the song comes to a close, I open my eyes and take a deep breath.
“I can do this.”
With the final boost of courage, I double check that I have everything I’ll need (which is really just myself, purse, and phone) and head downstairs. Kyung-soon is already down there, standing by the window in the living room as she cranes her neck to see if the van is coming. She looks beautiful, the simple sweater and jeans only bringing more attention to her delicate features. Her long black hair is lightly curled, and her berry-colored lips turn up in a nervous smile when I enter the room.
“You look amazing,” she says. “Seriously.”
“You do too, Soon-ah. Absolutely stunning. I’m glad that I’m not the only one who went with a more casual outfit. We’ll have to stick together.” I wink at her, and she laughs before turning back around to look out at the street.
Himari enters the room, the queen of casual style that she somehow manages to pull off like she’s at the red carpet. She carries a jacket in hand, prepared for the rainfall.
“Hey,” she greets me. “Looking good.”
“Right back at ya.” Himari stands beside me, resting her head on my shoulder. She’s unusually touchy today, no doubt due to the nerves. I don’t mind the extra contact, it helps to soothe my own nerves.
“Are the vans here yet?” Seohyun lights up the room in her yellow skirt, another queen of casual style. “Wow, you were right Himari. We do look amazing today.”
“We do, don’t we? No, no vans. They should be here any minute. Do you have everything?”
“Yeah, ready to go. I’ll go check that the others are ready.”
Soon enough Seohyun returns with Minsuh, Aera, and Ichika. All three look amazing, Aera’s professional background in design and fashion showing through as she is definitely the most well-dressed out of all of us. Minsuh looks adorable, her jean skirt making her look more youthful than me. Ichika reminds me of Taehyung, her layered top bringing out the artsy vibe she always has.
“Oh, oh!” Kyung-soon looks like it’s Christmas morning. “I think that’s the van, coming down the street!”
We all rush over to the window, honing in on the large black van that makes its way down to the apartment. It comes to a stop outside, and a man in a black suit and earpiece steps out.
“Wow, I feel like we just became famous,” Minsuh whispers.
“Alright, does everybody have everything?” I pipe up. The last thing we need is to forget something important. Everybody double checks, and by some miracle we’re ready. Just in time. A knock sounds on our door.
“You get it, Beth.” Himari nudges me.
“How did I know you’d say that?” I open the door, the bodyguard waiting for me outside with his umbrella up and ready to shield us from the rain.
“Hello everybody, Bang PD sent me. Are you ready to go?” I nod, my stomach doing flips. “Alright. I’ll escort you to the car, go ahead and step under my umbrella.” With my head in the clouds I step out, remembering at the last second to tell the other girls to lock the door behind them. I double check my purse, making sure I have the house key.
Before I know it all seven of us are packed into the van, and we’re off. Ichika sits on my left, holding my hand so tightly I think I’ll lose feeling in it before long. On my right is Kyung-soon, her arm looped through mine.
Our chauffeur is kind enough to play some music so we don’t drown in the heavy silence. None of us say much, each too lost in their own world to focus on a conversation. With each passing block my heart pounds faster and faster, and I fight against the tears that are pricking my eyes. I don’t want to cry. I can’t cry yet, but my inner whirlpool of emotions threatens to take over.
It’s already been a long day. And now, we’re just getting started.
What only feels like five minutes turns out to be thirty, because we’re suddenly pulling up to the BigHit building.
I manage to croak something out before we come to a complete stop, speaking for the first time the entire drive. “I’ll hold your purse while you go run laps, Kyung-soon.”
We laugh a bit, easing the tension. “How kind of you.” We begin to pile out of the van, and we’re escorted to a side door by the kind bodyguard. In a blur of movement we’re inside the building and led to an elevator. It’s only when we’re passing the fourth floor that I even realize that Ichika is still holding my hand.
“You alright?” I whisper to her, even though everyone can hear me in the small space of the elevator.
She looks at me, her eyes wide with anticipation and the anxiety that comes with it. “What was the code word for if we think we’re going to pass out?”
Aera’s voice pipes us from behind us, I can hear the grin in her voice. “It’s ‘holy cow’, isn’t it Beth?”
I can’t help but laugh, the ridiculousness of the entire situation making everything funnier. “Yeah, that’s it.”
Ichika squeezes my hand again. “Well, holy cow Beth. Holy cow is pretty much the only thing I’m thinking right now.”
“Are you telling me that you’re not even thinking about Taehyung?” I raise my eyebrows at her, the teasing making me feel better. Less likely to throw up, at least.
“Oh, shut up.” Ichika rolls her eyes, but the nerves seem to lessen a bit at the banter.
The doors slide open and the bodyguard ushers us out. “Alright, right there is Mr. Bang’s office. He should be inside waiting for you.” He points out a door just down the hall.
I make my way to the door on shaking legs, unsure of what to expect. Surely the boys aren’t inside the office, right? No, it’s way too small to fit all of us in there at the same time. That would just be cruel.
A quick glance over my shoulder shows everybody else trailing behind me. Himari gives me a thumbs up, prompting me onward. I level with a look that says ‘why must I do everything’ before I knock on the door.
A few seconds pass and then the door is swinging inward and Mr. Bang’s smiling face greets me.
“Well hello! I’ve been waiting for you all!” His eyes sweep over us, doing a mental count. “I’m glad you could make it. Come inside.”
The inside of Mr. Bang’s office is filled with photos, awards, and a leather couch with a few chairs. I all but collapse into one of the chairs while everybody else chooses their seats. Nobody speaks, but I notice them looking to me, Mr. Bang included. Clearly he’s waiting for my usual sarcastic remark.
“Well, here we are.” I say, struggling to even think straight enough to come up with a decent comment. “What’s on the agenda for today?”
Mr. Bang leans back in his chair, observing us. “Let’s get right down to it. There’s a lot we need to go over today, some can be done now with just the seven of you, the rest will have to be done with the boys.” My heart skips a beat at the mention of our soulmates. For some reason I’m surprised that we are actually going to meet them today. Maybe part of me simply expected a meeting with Mr. Bang. At least I didn’t buy a new outfit for nothing, right?
“Ok,” I nod slowly as though to clear the fog in my head. Right now I’ve got tunnel vision and I know I won’t be able to retain much information. “That’s fine. What do we need to know?”
“First off, are you all doing alright? Breathe. I can tell you that the boys are just as nervous as you are, so just breathe and try to relax. Today is meant to be enjoyed, and I promise that my staff and I have tried to make this day as calm and normal as can be.”
I almost laugh, wondering what part of normal includes a bodyguard and meeting the most famous band on the planet. I guess we’re playing by Bang PD’s rules now, though.
“The boys are nervous?” Minsuh pipes up, sheepishly looking down at her shoes.
Mr. Bang chuckles, nodding his head. “Extremely. I nearly had to give Jungkook a paper bag earlier because he was so close to hyperventilating.”
This merits a laugh and a sigh of relief from everyone, especially Minsuh as she blushes thinking about her soulmate.
“Anyways, I’ll try to get through this so you can meet the boys.” He now has everyone’s full attention. “I first wanted to thank you all for being so patient over the past three years. I know this hasn’t been easy, and you’ve had to sacrifice a lot of things. You’ve handled yourselves with grace and dignity. Even without the soulmate tests confirming your bonds with the boys, I would have been sure that you are meant to be simply by observing you over the years. I cannot thank you enough.”
He smiles at us, an adoring look in his eyes.
“Thank you,” Kyung-soon mutters.
“Now we’ve finally made it. It’s been a long journey, and this may seem sudden, but I believe that the timing is right. Today there will be a couple of doctors on hand who specialize in soulmate bonding, as these first meetings can be draining on both your emotions and energy. Don’t be afraid to ask for a breather if all of this is too overwhelming. There is no shame in that.”
My stomach turns to rocks hearing that. I’m reminded of my conversation just a couple of days ago with Aera. If meeting my soul sisters, who I’m not directly bonded to was so intense, what will this be like? Namjoon is only one person, whereas I have six soul sisters.
I voice my thoughts aloud. “I understand that this will be more...intense than it was meeting the girls. Will it really be that bad?”
Bang PD smiles at my question. “That bad or that good?” A blush creeps up my cheeks. “It will definitely be much more intense than your first meeting with the girls. Direct bonds are powerful. There is also the fact that you will be indirectly bonded with the other boys, like you were with the girls. Not quite as intense as the soul sister bond, but similar to it since they are your soulmate’s soul brothers.”
I exchange looks with Himari. This is news to us. It makes sense, and I’m happy about the fact that I’ll be gaining a lot of new friends today.
“Due to the fact you’ll be going through various levels of bonding today, we have taken precautions. You each will first meet your soulmates privately, and given sufficient time to bond and recover.” My stomach grows more and more uncertain as Mr. Bang explains the process. “After that, each individual couple will meet a different couple one at a time until you’ve all finished meeting. Like I said, doctors will be there to support you and we encourage you to take a break if you’re too exhausted. However, I’ve been told by the specialists that your soulmate will be the best support to you. So don’t be afraid to rely on each other. Understood?”
Mr. Bang smiles as us like he’s suggesting a place to grab lunch, not explaining the details of soulmate bonding. I give him a weak smile in return, a couple of the others grunting in acknowledgement.
“Wonderful.” Mr. Bang stands up from his seat, the simple action making my heart begin to pound again as I know that can only mean one thing. “Let’s get to it. I hope you don’t mind, but I discussed this with the boys earlier and asked them what order they would like to go in. Surprise, surprise: they’re going in order of age. That means that Jin and his soulmate will go first.”
I turn to look at Kyung-soon, who looks deathly pale. I wonder if the first thing she’ll say to Jin is a string of curse words for making her go first. Better first than last. Poor Minsuh will have to wait a long time for her turn, only making the nerves worse.
“Well, shall we?” Kyung-soon has gotten a hold of herself again, rising from the couch and smoothing out her sweater. “I’ve got to give my soulmate a piece of my mind for making me go first.”
Bang PD bursts out into laughter, having never seen the feistier side of the normally docile Kyung-soon. “Oh, I have a feeling the two of you will get along great.”
↔
I feel like I’m at the waiting room in the doctor’s office. Kyung-soon just entered a room at the end of the hallway, waving at us as her eyes lit up with that same light I noticed earlier today. I can only pray that I’ll be just as good at masking my nerves.
Seohyun paces in front of where we sit, awaiting her turn. We were told that we would each be given about 5 minutes of initial bonding before they would clear the room for the next pair. Apparently after the first five minutes the intensity starts to wear off, and then each couple is escorted to a recovery room on the same floor somewhere.
My blood is humming in my veins and I can practically feel Namjoon, wherever he is. Probably just on the other side of this floor. I fidget in my seat, desperate to just get it over with but dreading it at the same time. In my head “Forever Rain” is echoing, and I can’t tell if that’s helping or not.
5 minutes pass. Seohyun is waved over by a friendly looking doctor who pokes her head out the door.
“You’re Min Yoongi’s soulmate?” The doctor asks, her smile unwavering as Seohyun prances down the hall.
“I am, yes.” She waves at us. “See you on the other side!” I can hear the shaking in her voice, but she looks excited. We wave back, calling out words of encouragement.
Himari stands up, stretching. “Do I look alright?” She’s up next. Just a few more minutes before she disappears through that door.
I nod. “You look perfect. How are you feeling?”
“Like I could run a mile in 3 minutes flat but also like I might throw up at any second. You?”
“Pretty much the same. Not sure I could do 3 minutes though, maybe 4.”
Himari laughs, fiddling with her shirt and making sure it’s tucked in correctly. I stand up, helping her in the back where she can’t see.
“Everything will be perfect,” I reassure her, hoping that my smile looks the part. She sighs, wrapping me up in a hug. I’ve received a lot of those since I landed in Seoul.
“Love you.”
“Love you too.”
Suddenly it’s been five minutes, although I have a sneaking suspicion it’s been less. Leave it to Seohyun to bond quicker and more efficiently than anyone else.
“Gotta go,” Himari salutes us as she makes her way to the door where the same doctor awaits her. I hear her voice as she confirms that she’s Jung Hoseok’s soulmate, but it sounds distant and quiet as the din in my head turns up to full volume.
5 minutes.
I remain where I was before, staring at the wall as I sway from one side to another. It’s so loud in my head, “Forever Rain” is on repeat and I swear my heart is trying to break out of my chest.
“...ok?”
I blink, looking at Aera who has concern written all over her face.
“Did you say something to me?”
“I just asked if you were going to be ok.”
I swallow heavily. “Y-yeah,” I manage to get out. “I’ll be fine. Just freaking out a little bit.”
“Ok,” Aera doesn’t look convinced.
“Do I look alright?” I fidget with my necklace.
“Bethany,” Aera’s voice cuts through all the noise in my head. “You are absolutely gorgeous. You’re also the most courageous, capable person I know. You can do this.”
I can do this. I think of Namjoon, so close by. We can do this.
“Bethany?” The door at the end of the hallway opens up, the doctor peeking outside.
I look back at Aera, and she offers me a thumbs up. Minsuh and Ichika smile up at me, words of encouragement spilling from their lips.
“That’s me.”
“Kim Namjoon is your soulmate, correct?” The doctor’s kind eyes are assessing me as I walk over on surprisingly steady legs.
“Yes,” I nod. My eyes focus on the doctor’s name tag as she gently ushers me inside the room. It says her name is Dr. Kim, which must be a good sign, right?
“Ok, Bethany. How are you feeling?”
I nod, the nervousness must be written all over my face so I don’t try to hide it. “I’m fine, I think. Just a little nervous.
Dr. Kim smiles at me. “That’s completely normal. If you need anything, I’ll be right here.”
I’m about to thank her when another voice interrupts my thoughts.
“Oh,” it comes out as a gasp, and my head feels like it’s swimming through concrete as I turn to look who it is. Even though I already know. I’ve heard that voice countless times.
Kim Namjoon is already looking at me by the time I drag my eyes to his face. I hardly register Dr. Kim’s nudge as I start moving forward, a male doctor on the other side of the room watching us intently.
Namjoon looks how I feel- struck by lightning. His eyes are alight with something akin to adoration and curiosity, and I can feel my heart skip a beat as I realize that look is for me.
He takes longer strides than me, but he stops just a step away from me. I take a moment to take in his appearance. The denim jeans he’s wearing nearly steal all of my attention before I manage to look up at his shirt, a simple white button down.
Perfect is the only word I can think of as I finally look back up at him. Once again, his eyes are already on mine and I jump at little at the sudden eye contact. His mouth opens, another little gasp leaving it.
His cheeks are flushed when he finally speaks.
“I-can I…” He stops, eyes drifting to his feet before looking back up at me again. “Can I just hug you?”
I nearly sob at his sweet question, and I silently step forward to press myself into my soulmate’s chest. He reacts immediately, his arms wrapping around me like a starving man. And it’s there, as my head nestles into his neck, that I feel the bond.
Namjoon holds me steady as what I imagine what lightning feels like courses through my body. With it comes a flurry of emotions, each one passing so quickly that I hardly have enough time to identify it before another comes. A pang of sadness hits me, and I can tell Namjoon feels it too because his already impossibly tight grip grows tighter. He rests his cheek on my head, and I nearly melt at the touch. With it the sadness fades, a calming balm coursing through us. Love, joy so tangible I nearly reach out to touch it, giddiness and trust wrap themselves around us.
By the time everything subsides, a single thread of the bond hangs invisible between us that I can almost tug it. I feel like I’m coming up for air after being submerged in water for too long.
We separate as a final shock hits us, both of us panting even as we wince at the loss of contact.
Dr. Kim and the male doctor make their way over to us, Dr. Kim attaching a blood pressure cuff to my arm before I even realize what’s going on. I notice the other doctor doing the same to Namjoon.
Namjoon sneaks a glance over at me, his cheeks still a deep red. My mind is still spinning and trying to understand what just happened. And the fact that I’m literally 5 feet away from my soulmate.
“Are you ok?” I flush as Namjoon asks me the question, Dr. Kim grinning up at me knowingly.
I nod. “Y-yeah. I think so. Are you?”
“Feeling great,” he responds even as he glares down at his blood pressure cuff. My eyes trail down to it too, before I decide against it as his bicep tends to make my giddiness grow. “I’m Namjoon, by the way.” He gives a sheepish grin, his dimple just showing up.
I return it, and his eyes drift down to my mouth. “I’m Bethany.” I chew on my lip for a second, my blush only growing stronger as I watch Namjoon force his eyes away from my mouth and red color his cheeks. Good to know I’m not the only one struggling. “You can call me Beth, though.”
Before we can continue our small talk, the cuffs are released. “Ok you two, feeling alright?” The male doctor asks us. We both nod. “Great. I know it’s intense and you might be feeling a little weak, but don’t be afraid to rely on each other. Namjoon, go ahead and hold Bethany’s hand while we take you to the recovery room. It will help to steady you both.”
Namjoon looks at me hesitantly, clearly embarrassed, but he slowly extends his hand out to me. So slowly that it looks like he’s trying to not scare away a skittish animal.
His hand engulfs my own, and the doctor was right. I feel much better already, more steady. Namjoon gives my hand a squeeze, looking down at me. I nearly swoon, a giggle escaping me at the situation.
“What are you laughing about?”
Hearing him speaking to me only makes me laugh again. “I just can’t believe how freaked out I was before.”
“Oh, me too.” My surprise must be evident at his confession. Was he really nervous too? “I don’t think I’ve slept for the past three days.”
We’re led out of the room to another room with a couch and some water and snacks. Just before the doctor leaves I remember to ask him something.
“Excuse me?” Namjoon grins at my politeness, not releasing my hand as he grabs water and offers it to me.
“Yes?”
“How long did we take?”
The doctor smiles. Everybody is smiling, me included. How could I not?
“Do you have a bet going on with the others or something? I hate to break it to you, but you guys are dead last. The bonding lasted six minutes.” My eyes widen. It certainly didn’t feel that long.
“How long did Seohyun take? She’s with Min Yoongi.”
“Oh, yeah, how long did they take? They were fast.” Namjoon mumbles by my side.
The doctor chuckles at us. “They only took 2 minutes and 42 seconds.” With that he leaves us alone in the room.
“Wow,” I whisper, sipping on my water. Namjoon still holds my hand, his fingers interlocked with mine. I try and fail to not let the small point of contact take over my senses. “I should have known Seohyun would be quick. She was by far the most prepared out of all of us.”
“And you were the least prepared.”
It isn’t a question, and I glare at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?!”
Namjoon laughs as I yank my hand from his, feigning offense. I collapse on the couch and he follows after me.
“I watched the docufilm,” Namjoon explains, sitting on the opposite end of the couch. I groan, hiding behind my hands.
“Like, all of it? Everything over the past three years?”
He chuckles, growing more comfortable by the second. “Yep. Everything.” His dimple reappears and I admire him from behind my hands. “I’m just glad you didn’t go to Antarctica.”
I laugh, pointing at him accusingly. “So you were watching the Facetime a couple of nights ago!” Namjoon has the decency to look flustered. “How dare you?”
“We-I just-” he stutters, “Can you blame me?”
I assess him from where he sits a respectable distance away. I still hardly even know the man, but I already know I could never harbor a grudge. Not that he needs to know that right now. I get up, heading over to the snack table again before deciding on a bag of chips. Now I’m starving, after hardly being able to eat over the past couple of days. Namjoon sits in silence, awaiting my response. I almost laugh again at the whole situation, until I realize that we are very much alone in this room. I shake off the tension I feel, taking a deep breath to calm down.
“I was freaking out the entire call,” I admit, settling back down on the couch. “I kept thinking I could hear people in the background, but I thought that I must be going crazy. So I definitely blame you.” I open the bag, offering some to Namjoon. I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of his smile. “Now tell me. What was your favorite part of the docufilm?”
Namjoon ponders for a second, the red coming back to his cheeks. I wonder what he’s thinking. He finally settles on something, his face going serious as he looks back at me. I find it hard to breathe beneath his gaze.
“My favorite episode,” I had no idea they broke the film up into episodes, “was when you got lost at the night market.”
He doesn’t crack his serious expression, and I get up and move as far away from him as possible, settling for a chair on the far side of the room. If he’s seen all the episodes, he must know how much the others make fun of me for that night. Evil man, I think even as I fight the grin on my face.
Nearly thirty minutes later Dr. Kim knocks on the door before entering, finding Namjoon mid-sentence about how I obviously tried to hide my face from the cameras most of the time and how the boys would make fun of him because of it.
We look up at her from the couch to see her looking pleased. (Namjoon dragged me back to sit by him about fifteen minutes ago when I was accusing him of making me wait for three years, the bold action making him obviously embarrassed. His excuse was that he felt like he had to yell at me from across the room, but I think there might have been more to it.)
“Looks like you two are doing well.” Dr. Kim observes, jotting something down on her clipboard. “Ready to meet the others?” I jump up from the couch, Namjoon observing me with an amused look in his eyes. It’s not everyday I get to meet all of BTS in one day.
“Let’s go!” It’s my turn to drag Namjoon, tugging him out the door. When we leave the room I go to remove my hand from his, the intensity of the bond having faded and my awkwardness has returned full-force. He doesn’t let me, though. Instead he intertwines his fingers through mine, refusing to look at me when I looked up at him with my eyebrows raised.
Following the sound of several voices from up ahead, my soulmate and I go to meet the rest of BTS.
Previous - Next
Get ready to meet the rest of the boys! It’ll be fun, I promise. Remember that the taglist is open for whoever wants to join, just let me know! Thanks guys!
WORD COUNT: 5594 lol sorry there was a lot to get through here but at the same time I'm not sorry
Part 5!!!! You guys I had so much fun writing this part. We are getting down to it. I’m literally so excited. Let me know what you guys think! Thanks for all the support! Also, if you guys have any requests for future stories regarding our boys, hit me up! <3
Minsuh is already waiting for me by the time I exit the building, and I slide into the passenger seat as quickly as possible.
“What’s going on? I have a missed call from Mr. Bang. Should I call him back right now?”
Minsuh looks over at me, and I pause at the look in her eyes. My stomach drops as I expect the worst. Even in the dim interior lighting of her car, I can see just how pale her face is.
“Beth…”
We’re still idling in front of the building, but I feel the whole world spinning around me too quickly.
“Minsuh, what’s going on? Did something happen?” I take a shaky breath. “Are the boys alright?”
Minsuh is quick to reach out and grab my hand, and I notice the tremor in her hand as I cling tightly to her.
“They’re fine, I’m so sorry, I should have clarified sooner.” I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. If something were to happen to the boys...I can’t finish that thought.
“Then what’s going on?”
Minsuh shakes her head, turning to face forward again before beginning to drive. Even though I feel immense relief knowing that the boys are alright, now I’m beginning to imagine other scenarios. Why would Mr. Bang call me? He never does unless it’s a schedule call to update me on something.
“Bang wanted to call us tonight, but it was a last minute thing. So he did, and we talked.” I wait for her to continue, and she looks like she’s struggling to even speak right now. “We wanted to wait for you, so he didn’t say much…”
“Well, what did he say? Does he want me to call him?”
“No, he’s still on Facetime with everybody. That’s why I came to get you, though. He said it’s really important and that everybody needs to be present.”
I run a hand through my hair, ignoring how it shakes. This morning when I felt so calm and happy seems like years ago.
“Wait, what did he say though?” I realize that Minsuh has done an excellent job at avoiding the question, which does nothing to quell my fears.
She simply shakes her head, focusing on the road. “I don’t think it’s my place to say, but I swear it’s good news. I’m just shaken up. That’s all.”
Good news? I highly doubt it’s that good if Minsuh looks like she’s about to pass out. In fact, she probably shouldn’t even be driving.
What on earth could Mr. Bang want? And so suddenly?
Of course, my mind wants to scream out at me it’s time it’s finally time, but I shove that voice down. I’ve been through too many close calls thinking that I was finally going to come face to face with my soulmate only to be shut down. That kind of thinking only ends up in heartache.
The drive that should have taken much longer than it did (Minsuh is definitely speeding), is suddenly coming to an end as I recognize the Udon place we ate at last night just a couple of blocks away from the apartment. With every passing second I feel like I’m speeding closer and closer to fate. My right foot reacts instinctively as it pumps the brakes only to realize that I can’t.
I realize for the second time in my life that I cannot control fate when it comes knocking. The only thing that I can control is myself.
By the time we park I’ve been practicing my breathing exercises, trying to get my rapid heart rate under control. The street is peaceful, the evening stars just peeking through the bright lights of the city.
Standing there just outside my apartment, I gaze up at the night sky and breathe. In and out, deeply. I cling to the sliver of peace that settles upon me, promising myself that no matter what happens tonight, the stars will still be there. Tonight, tomorrow, and beyond. Fate may toss whatever it wants at me, but the stars will not fail me.
A soft touch at my elbow alerts me to Minsuh’s presence, and she looks at me for a moment before wrapping her arms around me in a hug. I return the embrace, absorbing the unspoken love and support.
“Shall we?” I ask. Minsuh nods, linking her arm through mine as we enter the apartment.
I’m not sure what I expect to see when I go inside, but I know it wasn’t Bang PD’s face staring out at me from our television. Somebody must have connected their phone to the tv to make it easier for all seven of us to take the call.
“Ah, Bethany, how kind of you to stop by.” Mr. Bang’s warm tone carries the innocent-sounding sarcasm we often use with each other. I smirk up at him and I take off my shoes and hurry over to the couch, taking a place between Minsuh and Himari.
“I saw you called me. Sorry I missed it, some of us have work to do.” Mr. Bang grins down at me, and I hear Seohyun give out a strained chuckle. A quick observation shows everybody to be in a similar state to Minsuh. In fact, it looks like Minsuh is better off than most of them. Probably the reason why they sent her to pick me up in the first place.
Mr. Bang clears his throat, drawing my attention back to him. He’s looking beyond his screen, and my heart stutters as I wonder who else is in the room with him.
Please not Namjoon, please not Namjoon.
“So what’s going on? You don’t tend to call without scheduling it first.”
Himari slowly moves her arm until it’s linked through mine, her hand gently squeezing my forearm. I glance at her but her eyes remain glued to the tv.
“Well, remember that conversation we had a little while back, when you requested that I give you a 48 hour notice before meeting your soulmate so you could have enough time to catch a flight to Antarctica?”
I swear I hear a surprised laugh in the background of the call, but the pounding of my heart in my ears overpowers any other sound at the moment.
Breathe, now is not the time to pass out. Remember, that’s Aera’s job.
“Uh-huh,” I mumble out, then remind myself to not look like a zombie. “Yeah, I remember. Why do I get the feeling that I’m once again the last person to know about something important?”
When a few of the girls come out of their trances enough to chuckle knowingly, I suddenly lose the ability to move. Instead I sit there completely still, awaiting Mr. Bang.
Awaiting fate.
Which, in most cases, Mr. Bang and fate are pretty synonymous for me.
“Yeah, sorry about that. You’re just hard to get a hold of sometimes.” When I have no snarky reply for him, he continues. “Ok, Bethany. Consider this your 48 hour notice.”
It takes about five seconds for the weight of that sentence to really sink in.
I always thought that when I was given the long awaited news that I would shortly meet my soulmate, the world would slip away from under me and I would feel like I was floating among the stars. I would be happy, shocked, I don’t know. I would just float there and Namjoon would be the only one to bring me back to earth. Him, and only him. It would be beautiful, and that would be the beginning of everything.
Instead, the world suddenly comes into focus.
I’m blatantly aware of everything surrounding me. It’s like I’m seeing the living room for the first time, seeing the girls for the first time as they turn to assess my reaction. Everything is so tangible, so real.
I can’t tell if it makes me feel small or empowered or just extremely human. Whatever it is, I pull through the shock settling into my bones just enough to slip back into that sarcastic charm I’ve relied so heavily upon all my life.
“Alrighty then,” I mumble, frowning slightly when it comes out in English. Mr. Bang simply grins again. I get up from the couch, the sudden urge to move and feel the ground beneath me impossible to resist. “48 hours? I could probably pull some strings, make it to Antarctica in time. You don’t happen to have any pilot friends, do you?”
Tension that I didn’t know what there before fades from Mr. Bang’s face as he laughs at my ridiculous question. Again, his eyes trail away to look beyond his screen. Who is he looking at? I can’t muster up the courage to ask. Instead, I slip into professional mode. It’s easy enough, seeing as I was just in my meeting this afternoon, slipping into the same persona.
Right. This is just a meeting. We need to hash out the date and time, location. Just like any other meeting. Make it through this meeting, Beth, and then you can do whatever you need to do.
“Ok, I’m assuming that you already told everybody else all of this before I got here?”
“Yes, I did. Sorry, I couldn’t wait.”
“That’s fine. Did you already go over what time? Where?”
Mr. Bang straightens up at my tone, a flicker of an emotion similar to respect in his eyes. “No, I haven’t yet. Would you like to now?”
I nod, then scurry off to where I dropped my bag when I entered. Grabbing my phone from my purse and pulling up the notes app, I settle back down on the couch beside Himari.
“How are you not losing your mind right now?” Himari whispers beside me, so quietly that I almost don’t hear her.
I shoot her an amused look. “Because I think I already died.” I whisper back, and it’s enough to get her to laugh, some of the icy nerves retreating a bit. (and then returning as I remember that we’ve still got our microphones on for the documentary and they caught every word)
I shrug it off, bringing my attention back to the matter at hand.“Alright, let’s hear it.”
↔
The rest of the call passes by in a blur, with Mr. Bang sending us an email with all the needed details. He carefully goes through each point, giving an outline of what awaits the seven of us the day after tomorrow.
Which, as I notice that it’s already nearly 11 pm, is going to be here sooner than I think I want.
“So just go ahead and come up to my office on Thursday, and I’ll be there to help you out with everything else. Sounds good?”
Everybody numbly nods, the emotional exhaustion setting in. I can’t help but grin as I realize with a start that I was given the news about having a soulmate on a Thursday three years ago, and now I’ll finally meet him on a Thursday.
It would appear that fate has a thing for Thursdays.
“Are you sure you don’t want us to just drive there? It’s not that far from here.” I ask the question for the second time. It’s nice that he wants to send a van from the BigHit building, but it just makes me feel a little silly. Like we’re famous or something. Which, when I see Ichika sitting at her usual spot on the floor with a bowl of cereal at her feet, I note that we are anything but famous. I don’t even know when she got up to get cereal.
At least she’s eating. I’m not sure I can stomach anything right now.
“Don’t worry about it, please. I know that it’s going to be a stressful day for everybody, the last thing you need to worry about is driving. The van will be there at 5 pm sharp, just be ready.”
I nod, letting it go. It will be nice to not have to worry about driving, even though it’s only a half hour drive from here. I’ll just have to find something productive to do all day so I’m not losing my mind.
“Ok. That’s fine. Is there anything else?” I hide behind a yawn that quickly passes to Himari at my side.
“That should be everything. Double check the email in the morning after you’ve all rested, and let me know if you need anything.” Mr. Bang sighs, clearly as worn out as we are. “We’re all excited to see you.”
We. “By we you mean you and the staff, right?” I jokingly ask, earning a laugh.
“Obviously. And maybe a few other people as well. See you Thursday?”
“See you Thursday.”
He cuts the call, leaving the seven of us alone in the dimly lit room. I stand up, prepared to pace, but find that I’m too tired to even try. I end up laying down on the ground, staring up at the ceiling.
“Ok,” I start, running my hands through my hair for the fourteenth time tonight. “Can someone please explain to me what just happened?”
The others grunt in agreement, each of us just as much in shock as the other.
It’s silent for a couple of minutes as each of us try to process our thoughts. I close my eyes, mind going a million miles a minute as I try to fathom that after all this waiting, I’m finally going to meet my soulmate.
A sniffle breaks the silence, and my head shoots up as I see Minsuh with her head in her hands, her shoulders shaking as she quietly sobs.
Everybody is quick to move, all of us surrounding her in a matter of seconds. Aera gently massages her shoulders before leaning forward and nuzzling her face into her neck.
“What’s wrong, Min?” Aera questions, and we exchange knowing glances.
“It’s just,” Minsuh continues crying into her sweater paws, the sight making my heart ache. “What if h-he’s disappointed? I just don-don’t want to disappoint him. I thought I would h-have more time…” Her sobs cut off the rest of her sentence, and my heart cracks on her behalf.
“Oh, Minsuh.”
“You’re not going to disappoint him, I promise.”
“Minsuh, you’re the best of us,” Ichika softly whispers, brushing the hair out of her face. “There’s no way Jungkook could be disappointed. Why do you think Bang PD called so suddenly? I bet Jungkook found out about you and couldn’t wait a second longer to have you in his life.”
Minsuh slowly looks up at Ichika, her eyes red and puffy. “You think so? I don’t think so. Do you think they even know about us yet? Maybe Mr. Bang hasn’t told them yet, a-and we’re just going to be an unwelcome surprise.”
I wince at her words, her fears similar to my own.
Ichika shakes her head firmly, her hand resting just beneath Minsuh’s chin as she looks into her eyes.
“Absolutely not. Minsuh, that’s not going to happen. You know what’s going to happen?” Minsuh shakes her head ‘no’, her eyes wide. “I’ll tell you what’s going to happen. We’re going to meet our boys,” Ichika’s voice wavers with emotion, but she continues on. “And it’s going to be the best, most memorable day of our lives. We are going to go together, because we’re sisters and we have each other’s backs through thick and thin. We’re going to walk in there and see them and you know what’s going to happen? Aera’s going to pass out, Soon is going to lose the ability to speak,” Soon chuckles, nodding her head in agreement. “Himari is probably going to trip over her own feet, I’m going to spill something on Taehyung, I’m certain about that. I’m not sure what Beth is going to do, but I can guarantee it’s going to be something embarrassing. Very, very embarrassing.” I gasp, pinching her. “Ow! And Seohyun is going to burst into song or something and not be able to stop.” Minsuh bites her lip, a little smile gracing her features. “But you know what? You’re probably going to waltz in there like a freaking princess, and Jungkook is going to be in absolute shock. You’ll make up for all of our clumsiness, and you’ll be so amazing because you already are.”
The seven of us stay like that for a long time, Minsuh’s quiet sobs finally subsiding some time later. At some point she falls asleep, and Aera curls up on the couch next to her, quickly following suit.
Seohyun gets up to go make some tea, Ichika offering to help.
“I’m making chamomile, to help me sleep. Anybody else want some?” The rest of us request it, knowing that we won’t be able to fall asleep as easily as Minsuh and Aera. Not when I keep startling myself every five seconds as I suddenly remember that I’m meeting my soulmate in less than two days.
Himari pats the cushion next to her, and I settle down with a grunt. She flops her head onto my shoulder, and we both stare out the far window into the street. Kyung-soon takes up a spot on the floor at our feet.
“I don’t think I’ll really be able to believe it’s happening until we’re there, actually meeting them,” Himari says.
“Me neither,” Kyung-soon fiddles with her blanket. “Do you think they’re freaking out as much as we are?”
“Oh definitely,” Himari chuckles.
The thought of the boys sitting together and talking like we are now warms me up like hot chocolate.
“Oh, no. What am I going to wear?” I wonder aloud. Everybody else groans in agreement. “Anybody down to go shopping tomorrow?” I ask, already mentally planning an outfit. Everybody is quick to agree.
By the time Ichika and Seohyun arrive with the tea, Aera has roused from her sleep, rubbing her neck.
“Were you guys talking about going shopping?”
Slowly but surely, the heavy shock begins to lift and a lighter feeling replaces it. As I look around the room at my soul sisters, a little pang of nostalgia strikes me. This is one of the last times we’ll be like this. Just the seven of us, with so much uncertainty hanging over us. I wonder how many times I’ll revisit this memory of us sitting together in the middle of the night, entertaining ideas about the boys, outfits, and all the possibilities life has yet to offer us. Future nostalgia indeed.
By the time we actually do decide to go to bed, it’s already 4:30 in the morning. The conversation had taken many different turns throughout the night, including all of us eventually talking about our concerns. We’re excited, yet so afraid.
Aera and I sneak up the stairs as quietly as possible, careful to not wake Minsuh who’s still sleeping on the couch.
“Hey,” Aera whispers before I slip into the darkness of my room. “You didn’t really say a lot about how you’re feeling with everything. Are you sure you’re ok?”
I nod slowly, exhaustion painting itself over my features. “I’m fine, I think. To be honest I think I’m so tired and shocked still that I don’t even know what to feel at this point.” Aera nods along, understanding perfectly. “Maybe I’ll know after I sleep. I think I’m happy, though. And terrified.”
“A great combination.”
“Yep. See you at breakfast.”
Aera raises her eyebrows at me. “Breakfast? I don’t think so. I’ll see you at lunch.”
↔
For the second day in a row I wake up after 10. I blearily open my eyes, checking the time and grunting in indifference. I roll over again, trying to talk myself into sleeping in a little longer. I deserve it. Jet-lag, emotional exhaustion, and staying up until nearly 5 in the morning have done quite the number on me.
I’m nearly asleep again when I sit up straight in my bed, my brain remembering the reason why I was up so late last night.
“Holy freak, holy freak.”
Was that real? I’m still so tired that it feels like a dream.
I scramble to my bedside table again, pulling up my emails on my phone. Sure enough, the email Bang PD sent last night is still there. My eyes drink in the information as quickly as possible, triple checking the date before I finally allow myself to breathe again.
Oh yeah, it’s real. And it’s tomorrow.
The need to get up and move around is suffocating me, my heart already pounding like I’m running a marathon. I slip into the nearest clothes I can get my hands on, the blouse and jeans making me look way more put together than I feel, and I rush to the bathroom to throw my hair back into a ponytail and slap the bare minimum of makeup on my face.
I'm in such a rush that I nearly forget to brush my teeth, and before I know it I’m tiptoeing down the stairs and past Minsuh’s sleeping form still on the couch. I have no idea how she’s been able to sleep this long, I definitely envy her.
Before my brain even catches up with my body, I’ve grabbed my purse and shoes by the front door and slipped out into the morning. The second the door clicks shut behind me, I breathe in deep, closing my eyes as the sun warms me up.
It’s much easier to process everything once I’m outside of the apartment and back in the real world. My feet make their way about three blocks away, to a street vendor that I frequent on the days I have morning meetings.
There are a couple of free benches on the sidewalk, and I sit there as I eat my breakfast. I haven’t eaten since yesterday afternoon, and my stomach is probably what really took control this morning. However, it’s still not enough to make me finish all of my food. I eat about half before I stop, my brain grinding its gears again now that I have some food in me.
As I watch the hustle and bustle of the city all around me, I feel like I’m in some sort of limbo. Everybody is going about their normal business, oblivious to the fact that my life is at a hinge-point and I’m not sure which way it's about to swing.
Try as I might, I’m still restless. There’s not much I can do to help that, I’m sure I’ll be like this until I’ve met my soulmate and put my worries to rest. I wonder if Namjoon is up and as restless and me right now.
Minsuh’s words from last night come back to haunt me. What if they don’t even know about us yet? I can’t decide which one is worse, them knowing and anticipating us, or a surprise visit.
I eventually muster up the strength to order six more meals before beginning the trek back to the apartment. The burn in my arms as I carry a heavy bag on each side brings me a sense of satisfaction, the energy I’m using acting as an excellent distraction.
It’s already noon when I walk through the door, and I see Seohyun talking quietly with a half-asleep Minsuh. “I’m back, and I brought food!”
Seohyun smiles readily at me, her smile contagious. “You left? I swear, we need to put a bell on you or something.”
“Do you want my food or not?”
It doesn’t take long before Seohyun is in the kitchen, divvying up the food to Minsuh and Kyung-soon, who’s still got a towel on her head from the shower.
“Is anybody else up?” I ask, and everybody shrugs in response.
“I thought I heard Himari get up not that long ago,” Kyung-soon offers, and I set off in search of my friend.
I follow my hunch, climbing the stairs as I make my way to the top floor of the apartment. I ponder waking Aera as I pass our floor, but go against it and continue up the stairs. There’s two bedrooms up here, which belong to Ichika and Himari. I knock on Ichika’s door and tell her that there’s food downstairs. Her response is a groan and a thud that sounds suspiciously like her body hitting the floor. I suppress a giggle and continue on my journey to the upper balcony.
Sure enough, Himari is lounging in a chair with her face turned up toward the sun. Her eyes jump open as soon as she hears me opening up the sliding door and sidling out.
“Hey Himi,” I greet.
“Hey. Is everybody else up?” Her voice sounds like she just woke up.
“Yeah, except for Aera. Who knows when she’ll get up. Probably not for another hour or so.” Himari nods, closing her eyes again. She has dark circles under her eyes. “Did you get any sleep?” I ask, already knowing the answer.
“No, not for more than sixty seconds at a time. You?”
I nod a little, grateful for the good five hours I got. “Yeah, a bit. I went out and bought food for everyone if you’re hungry.”
Himari hums in acknowledgement, not making any move to get up. Instead I settle down on the chair beside her, propping my feet up on the railing.
We stay like that for a while, basking in the companionable silence. There’s so much to say, and yet I’m at a loss for words. What does one say in these kinds of situations? ‘Hey, don’t screw up meeting your soulmate tomorrow! Go, fight, win!’
It’s Himari who breaks the silence nearly ten minutes later, and I wonder if she dozed off for some of that time.
“I...I don’t know what to feel.”
I wait, knowing that more is coming. When she doesn’t speak for a while I prompt her. “What are you feeling right now?”
Himari sighs, sitting up and stretching. I notice that she’s wearing the same clothes as last night. She must have just came straight out here last night.
“I feel so tired that I can’t hardly think straight, but I’m so wired right now that I can’t sleep. I feel like I’m drowning, and like I won’t stop until tomorrow. And tomorrow feels so far away but at the same time it’s way too soon. I keep thinking that Hoseok must be feeling something similar, but what if he doesn’t even care? I think, more than anything…” she turns to look at me, and I wince at the fear I see in her eyes. “I keep imagining what he’s going to say when he finds out that his soulmate isn’t even Korean. Not that I think he would hold that against me, but I can’t help but think that he might be a little let down or uncomfortable knowing that his soulmate is from Japan.”
She settles back down with a huff, and I do too. It’s something we’ve talked about a lot, the fact that we’re not from here. Neither one of us care that our soulmates don’t share our nationality, but it’s something that I’ve worried about a lot, imagining what Namjoon will feel when it turns out his soulmate is very much an American.
Sitting here, looking at one of my best friends in the world, I can’t imagine Hoseok being anything less than elated. Himari is amazing. Loyal, hilarious, smart as a whip and one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever seen in real life.
I’ve told her as much every time we’ve had this conversation. There’s not a lot left to say. It’s a hopeless feeling, knowing that even the most honest statement will do little to mend another. So I choose a different approach.
“Well, if Hoseok is sad that you’re Japanese and not Korean, I’ll just tell everybody that Trump is my uncle or something and he’ll be so grateful to have you that it won’t even matter anymore.”
Himari looks at me like I have horns coming out of my head before she bursts out into laughter.
“Oh my gosh that’s the best idea you’ve ever had!” Her cackles fill up the street, and I find myself laughing alongside her. “Sounds good. Deal.”
↔
Nearly three hours later finds the seven of us piling out of two cars as we arrive at the shop Aera picked out. She finally stumbled down the stairs around 1, exhausted but ready to go shopping. It took some convincing to get her to eat first, but it paid off in the end.
I can’t help but gawk at the as we enter the store apparently owned by one of Aera’s friends within the designer circle.
“Holy cow,” I mutter under my breath. My friends chuckle at the English phrase, it always makes them laugh. “Are we even allowed to be in here?”
Aera laughs at my bewilderment even as Minsuh drags her away into the depths of the store. “Of course!”
Time seems to stand still as we spend hours in the shop, trying on different outfits and each of us vying for the attention of Aera as we trust her opinion the most. We bicker back and forth about how casual or formal we should dress, until Aera finally texts Bang PD to ask. He responds with “wear whatever you want” which does little to help.
“Ok,” Aera rounds us up like a preschool class. I munch on a churro that I snuck out and bought a few minutes ago, Himari eyeing me suspiciously. “Let’s just follow Mr. Bang’s advice and go for something we each feel comfortable in. I would advise a casual-nice outfit, we’re trying to make a good first impression after all. At the end of the day, though, I want you guys to stay true to what you like. I know you all very, very well, so I will know if you’re lying.”
Ichika salutes her before heading back into the mess of clothes she’s picked out. The clock above her has me dropping my chin to the floor.
“Um, what time does the store close?”
A worker pipes up from the cash register. “Don’t worry, we’re open until midnight.”
I sigh in relief, glad that we won’t be in too much of a rush even though we’ve already been in here for hours. My stomach protests staying in here without proper food for much longer, and I promise it that I’ll be done within the hour.
↔
An hour and a half later five of us waddle out of the store clutching our bags as we make our way to the nearest restaurant. Minsuh opted to stay behind with Aera, who had been so busy helping everybody else that she hadn’t even hardly begun looking for herself. She assured us with a wink that she wouldn’t take long. Apparently her professional eye had already picked out a few outfits throughout the day.
The five of us order food, settling our things into a corner booth as we complain about our feet hurting and discuss our outfits.
“We’re going to look so good.” Himari smiles, and I’m glad to see that her confidence has taken a boost since this morning.
“We need to make sure we get enough sleep tonight, though.” I add, giving her a knowing look.
“Ay ay, captain.”
The rest of the night passes in a blur, Aera staying true to her word and showing up with Minsuh only thirty minutes later. When she shows us her outfit, we all agree on it.
“How are you so good at these kinds of things?” Seohyun asks, bewildered. Seohyun has a reputation for being indecisive when it comes to her clothes, she relies heavily upon Aera’s expertise.
“Practice, practice, practice.”
“Speaking of practice,” Ichika interjects, “We need to practice not losing our minds tomorrow.”
People glance at us from their booths, clearly wondering what we’re talking about as we bounce ridiculous ideas off of each other. At one point Kyung-soon says she’s going to run laps around the BigHit building in order to burn off some steam before going in.
“Jin’s going to look outside the window and see you in your new outfit running laps around the building.”
“Yeah, and he’ll probably just say, ‘screw it, I’m joining her.’”
“Actually, that would totally happen.”
“Meanwhile the rest of us are hiding in the van.”
“Eating churros.”
“Oh, definitely eating churros.”
“Do they sell churros here? Now I’ve got a craving.”
By the time we make it back home we’ve eaten our fair share of churros (my second one of the day), Seohyun bought earrings, and we’ve come up with a code word for Aera when she feels like she’s about to pass out. (the code word is ‘holy cow’. Yes, in English. I’m dying for her to use it.)
We all go our separate ways, Ichika behind me as I climb the stairs to my room. She pauses to hug me goodnight before continuing up to the next level. It’s late enough for me to not even bother checking the time before I slip into my pajamas and fall into my bed. Who knew shopping could be so draining.
Fate is kind to me tonight, as I fall asleep in no time. The final thought on my mind is the fact that tomorrow is Thursday, and my life is going to change forever.
Previous - Next
Ok! I’m so excited for our girls to finally meet the boys! I’ll upload pictures of the outfits I was thinking of for everybody. I hope you enjoy! If you want to join the taglist, let me know! :)
Part 4 woohoo! I just really love these girls and their friendships with each other. I kind of wanted to spotlight some of their friendships/back story a bit more in this chapter, just to round out the story a bit more. I swear we’re getting to the good stuff. Also, has anybody else noticed that the word count is steadily increasing? Lol you don’t mind, right? Anyways, thanks so so so much for all the love the story has received so far, I was seriously not expecting anybody to even see it haha. So thank you, it means so much! I’ll probably have part 5 up really soon! Enjoy!
By the time morning rolls around, I feel like I’ve been hit by a train. A quick glance at my phone tells me what I need to know: it’s nearly 10:30. I wince at the time, it’s a rare occurrence when I sleep in for this long. However, judging from my jet-lag and my eyes that are still a little red and puffy from my emotional breakdown last night, I’ll let this one slide. Heaven knows I needed some extra rest.
I stretch and put on one of the hoodies I left behind in my closet from last year, glaring at my suitcases that still need to be unpacked. I’ll add that to the to-do list for today.
Brushing my teeth, I inspect myself in the mirror. I already feel lighter, more at ease. It was a good thing to open up last night. All of my worries haven’t been put to rest, but I feel less overwhelmed. Happier, too. Happier than I’ve felt in a while.
As I descend the stairs to the main level I can hear the mixture of voices, Ichika’s voice piercing through the others as she talks about running out of her favorite cereal.
“Wow,” I mumble as I finally enter the kitchen and dining area. “I think this is the first time everybody else is up before me.”
“Did we wake you up?” Seohyun looks guilty, but I shake my head no.
“Just woke up, actually. I can’t believe I slept for so long. Where’s Soon?” I notice that there is one missing.
“In here!” I follow the sound of her voice, leading me to the living room where she sits underneath some blankets on the couch. The TV is on, and I scowl as my heart kicks into high gear.
It must be the boys’ latest interview, I haven’t seen this one yet. I curl up next to Soon silently, and she resumes her focused attention on the TV. While Kyun-soon may not be as outward in her devotion to the boys, Jin in particular, she is always the first to watch the latest interviews and performances. That is, when we don’t watch them together.
“Which one is this?” I whisper, careful to not distract her too much. Her eyes glisten, and I turn to see Jin giggling in the background.
“iHeart radio,” she whispers back.
Eventually everyone wanders in after hearing the boys’ voices drifting in from the living room. Ichika munches loudly on some toast before nearly choking on it when Taehyung comments on something.
“Ugh,” she groans as we laugh at her. Nobody can blame her, it’s happened to the best of us. “That boy is going to be the death of me.”
I try my best to focus on all of the boys, but I can’t help it if my eyes keep drifting back to Namjoon. He sits in the front as per usual, Jimin on his right. He has a pleasant smile on his face, and not for the first time do I wonder what goes on in his head during these interviews. If he thinks that the interviewers questions are as dumb as I do.
A single camera is in the living room. There’s one other in the entire house, in the kitchen. They automatically turn on at certain times of day, the schedule is hanging up on the fridge. I’m rarely in the living room as is, much less when I know the camera is on. A quick glance confirms my suspicions; there’s a little red light on the camera. It’s filming us. Try as I might, I still can’t help but react when Namjoon offers his adorable dimpled smile at the end, thanking the interviewer and ARMY for the interview.
“Thanks for having us!” Namjoon’s voice echoes through the apartment. “We love you ARMY! We can’t wait to see you soon!” He blows a kiss to the camera, then immediately gets embarrassed after.
I get embarrassed too, the red in my cheeks all too noticeable.
“Aw, look at Beth! She’s embarrassed!” Himari pokes my side, and I tug at Soon’s blanket in order to hide my face.
“So cute!” Seohyun giggles from where she stands behind the couch. “You two are just alike. Oh my gosh you’re going to be so awkward around each other, aren’t you.”
I glare up at her, Seohyun chuckling lightly even as her eyes remained glued to the screen. “I’m not embarrassed…”
Aera laughs wickedly. “Not embarrassed? Beth, I’m sorry, but as cool and calm as you try to be, we all know what your weakness is.”
We laugh together, even as the interview ends and something else comes up on the television. It’s mere background noise as I try to deal with the sudden flood of emptiness that overtakes me. No, not today, I tell myself. I feel happy today.
“What’s the plan for today, boss?” Himari asks, taunting me with the nickname I usually use for her.
I yawn, stretching against Soon who doesn’t seem to mind. No doubt her mind is elsewhere at the moment.
“Well, I’ve got an editorial meeting this afternoon for Webtoon,” I sigh, rolling my neck. “Then I’m free for the rest of the day after that. What are you guys going to be up to?”
Everyone goes about talking about their plans. All of us have some form of work, Minsuh and Seohyun are attending university too. I plan on jumping back into school for my master’s soon, but I just can’t decide where to go yet. It would be fun going to school with them, though. It’s hard to decide when I’m constantly traveling, I’ll probably have to settle for online classes.
Minsuh and Seohyun excuse themselves to go to class together, promising to be back before I get back from my meeting. I smile at Seohyun’s backpack, an assortment of pins adorning it. The centerpiece, of course, is a “Trivia: Seesaw” pin.
Kyung-soon yawns, easing herself off the couch. “I’ve got a couple of clients today, so I’ll be out until later. But I bet I’ll be back before you, too. Your meetings last forever.”
I grunt in agreement. They do last forever. Long enough for Soon to show two different clients houses and still finish before me.
“Where are the houses that you’re showing?” Soon is a respected realtor in Seoul, and it’s no secret that she loves her job. She can make any house a home, in my opinion. She certainly has a knack for making people feel at home, myself included. She’s one of the reasons I survived those first few months after I found out about my soulmate.
“Not that far, you know that one night market you got lost in for hours and Himari and I had to come pick you up?” Himari chuckles at the memory even as I wince at the embarrassing moment.
“Yup,” I mumble. “It’s close to there?”
“No,” Soon gives me an evil smile. “I just wanted to embarrass you again.”
I launch myself off the couch after Kyung-soon, caught between yelling and laughing. She’s smart, locking herself in the nearest bathroom where I can’t get to her.
When I return to the living room Aera, Ichika, and Himari are wiping the tears off their faces as they laugh at me.
“That really was embarrassing,” Himari says. “How long were you lost again?”
“Oh, shut up.”
↔
The rest of the morning passes with no further incidents, although I do go about cursing at my luggage as each suitcase seems to have no end in sight. I typically stay for roughly six months at a time here, which is what I’ve planned for. That should put me here over Christmas this year, returning at the tail-end of January. Just in time for tax-season in the states.
It would be a real pity if I missed that, now wouldn’t it?
Himari and Ichika sneak into my room to observe the damage, wincing as I tell them that I still have one bag left to go.
“We’ll be back in a bit, but if we aren’t back in time for your meeting, good luck!” Ichika gives me a thumbs up before heading back downstairs. Himari lingers for a moment, assessing the piles of clothes I’m currently trapped between.
“Having fun?”
I give a dry laugh. “You have no idea. Ready for your lesson?” Himari and Ichika work together, tutoring kids in Japanese. They tend to spend the majority of their time here every year, and over the past three years they’ve created quite the reputation. Apparently the two of them are a dynamic duo.
“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Himari replies. She’s hesitating, that much I can tell. We may have only known each other for three years, but we know each other inside and out. Outlandish circumstances tend to lead to strong bonds.
“What are you wanting to say?”
She laughs at my intuition. “Ah, right. That. It’s just,” she fidgets in my doorway. “Are you doing ok? I saw you and Kyung-soon up on the balcony last night, it looked like you were having quite the conversation.”
I sigh, a little surprised that I didn’t notice when the others came back. I must have been in my own little world last night.
“I’m...better now. I was just overwhelmed, and Soon was able to wring some emotions out of me.”
Himari nods, the concern in her face fading. “Good, I’m glad. You know, Beth, you can talk to me if you need to. I was getting worried over the last little while, it’s been hard not seeing you and having to guess about your emotional state. If you need anything, I’m here.”
I stop folding a shirt, laying it aside as I rise and make my way to Himari. She meets me halfway, enveloping me in a tight hug. Neither one of us talk about our emotions very often, rarely do I feel the need to. But the fact that she’s so willing to listen makes me thank my lucky stars for friends like Himari.
“Thanks, Himi. I’m so lucky to have you, truly.”
“Oh, I know.”
With that Himari leaves me to my unpacking frenzy, leaving me alone in the house with Aera. It doesn’t take long until she’s knocking on my door, her room just down the hall from my own.
“Need any help?”
“Please.”
With the two of us working together we finish much sooner than I had anticipated. Aera makes me laugh, stating that she thought I should have brought more clothes.
“What do you mean more clothes? I’m pretty sure these are all of the clothes I own.”
Aera looks at me in feigned shock. “Are you kidding me? It’s high time I take you shopping. What time is it?”
We check the clock and notice that I only have a couple of hours left before I have to leave for my meeting. Not nearly enough time to go shopping. Especially not in the huge city of Seoul. Instead we settle on my bed, the two of us staring wistfully at my photo of Jeju Island.
“We should go back,” Aera mumbles from beside me. I hum in agreement. “That was such a great weekend.”
“That weekend was the weirdest weekend of my life.” I laugh as Aera smacks my shoulder. “What? It was! Within literally one week I found out I had a soulmate, he was famous and one of my role models in life, and that I had these six other girls in the same situation and I was shipped off to an island for a weekend to ‘bond’ with them. Don’t tell me that’s not weird.”
Aera nods beside me, eyes sparkling as she recalls that weekend. “Yeah, it was weird I guess. I don’t know, I was just so happy that I had six new best friends who would always be linked to me since our soulmates are inextricably linked with each other. I had thought for so long that I would be all alone on this crazy journey. I guess I was just so happy that I wasn’t alone anymore that I didn’t think about the weirdness of it all.”
I forgot about that. Aera was the first soulmate BigHit found. She’s from downtown Seoul, certainly the closest to our boys. Apparently Mr. Bang found her almost six months before he found me. He hadn’t informed her when he found the others, preferring to not get her hopes up until all of us were found and agreed to the terms of agreement he set us.
When I think about those six months Aera went through all alone, not able to tell another soul that she was impossibly linked with Park Jimin, I can’t help but admire her even more for her quiet strength.
“That must have been horrible, not being able to talk to anybody about it.”
Aera only nods, eyes still glued to the photo. “I’m not going to lie, it was. I thought I was going insane most of the time.” She laughs drily at the memory, and I scoot closer to her. “Do you remember what it was like meeting each other? For a second I thought that Mr. Bang had messed up and that we were soulmates!” She shoots me a fond smile.
“You can say that again.”
“Why would I say it again?”
We look at each other blankly before I burst out into laughter. “Oh, sorry! It’s a phrase in English. I guess it doesn’t translate over very well, does it?” We both giggle, the moment seeming so calm. “It’s true, though. What you said. We all just...clicked. It makes me wonder.”
The moment I walked through the doors of the house we were staying at and met my six best friends, the world became a much brighter place. I had arrived later in the day due to meetings, and I had been so nervous. I was cursing myself the whole ride over, calling myself an idiot for agreeing to Mr. Bang’s idea of “bonding” with my soul sisters. It seemed like a ridiculous idea, but the thought of having other people to lean on and talk to was too tempting to pass up.
The second I met the others, I could feel the warmth and love our friendship would bring. It was like, for a split second, I experienced all the emotions we would go through together. The heart-wrenching tears, the nights filled with laughter and silly antics, the worry and adoration for each other. Above all else, I felt the pillar of support that promised to be a constant throughout our friendship.
It was, in a word, overwhelming. Which I’ve noticed has become a common theme over the past few years. Overwhelming, yet exhilarating.
“Wonder about how it will be to meet Namjoon?”
I nod, laughing at how even the mention of my soulmate seems to have me melting. It can be inconvenient at times, especially when I’m in a meeting and somebody brings up the band. It’s pretty hard to play it cool, so instead I’ve learned to just excuse myself to the bathroom whenever that happens. Can’t have anybody thinking that I’ve got a schoolgirl crush on BTS.
“Well, look at it this way.” Aera rolls off of my bed, stretching like a cat. “I’m probably just going to pass out. No questions asked. The second I lock eyes with Park Jimin, I’m going to pass out cold.” I let out a startled laugh as Aera feigns seriousness. “So, as long as you don’t pass out, you should be good. I’ll take up all the embarrassment, there won’t even be enough left for you. Which is good, I think. Because if it was that intense just meeting you guys, and we’re not even directly connected, then I can only imagine how intense it’s going to be with those weirdos.”
With that little speech, Aera flicks a strand of long brown hair over her shoulder and marches out of my room, leaving me dumbstruck.
“Um, Aera?” I call after her, heading toward the bathroom to finally get ready for my meeting.
“Yeah?”
“I really hope I get that on video.”
“What, me passing out in front of Jimin?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh-ho, you’ll regret it if you do. Better watch it, little girl.”
↔
It’s been so long since I’ve been in Seoul that I decide to leave nearly an hour early for my meeting, taking the option of the bus over car. Aera didn’t mind, she was leaving anyways. She was off to a high-end boutique she had just pitched some designs to. She was obviously nervous, but I had no doubt the boutique would gladly welcome her ideas. Aera was an up and coming designer, she had even recently designed a dress that was worn overseas at a film premier.
I was on the bus for just shy of an hour as it made its way across Seoul. I didn’t mind one bit, it allowed me some extra time to simply reconnect with the city and map it out in my head. It was something I often did, in order to prevent future mishaps...like getting lost at a certain night market for hours on end.
I was so lost in my mental map-making that I almost didn’t notice the bus’s approach to the Webtoon office building. Scrambling off the bus, I made my way to my first meeting.
Everything went pretty much according to schedule. I was able to review the panels that my illustrators had prepared for the upcoming season of my book-converted-toon “Young Rising”.
It was all too easy to dive into the work that awaited me there, happy to back among my friend and editor. He was the same prestigious editor who had been there that day Mr. Bang came to visit me. I have no idea what Mr. Bang told him, but my editor never asked me any questions about it.
Apparently it was so nice to be back that I didn’t even notice the time until the sun had set. I glared at the clock on the wall in the drawing room, claiming that it was already well after 9 pm. Add a bus ride onto that, and I won’t be home until nearly 11. I pulled out my phone to text the girls only to find a flurry of texts already waiting for me.
7:32 Himari loml: Don’t tell me you’ve decided to go back to the states already, you just barely unpacked.
8:01 Himari loml: Wow, did you miss work that much? More than me?
8:17 Aera 💛: Are you staying late tonight? Let me know.
9:08 Kyung-soon☺️: I swear if you’re lost at another night market, I’m not coming to get you.
9:28 Kyung-soon☺️: I’M KIDDING I SWEAR TELL ME IF YOU’RE LOST I’LL COME GET YOU
9:32 Ichi: Beth I drew you a picture while I was in class, come home so I can give it to you.
9:38 Himari loml: Ok
9:38 Himari loml: We’ve got a situation here
9:39 Himari loml: Seriously, come home ASAP
9:41 Himari loml: Minsuh is on her way to the office rn. Let me know when you get this.
What started out making me roll my eyes suddenly comes to a halt as I keep scrolling through my notifications. It’s only when I return Himari’s text, letting her know that I’m fine, that I notice the missed call from 9:35.
WARNINGS: It’s a bit emotional, but not too bad. So don’t cry, ok?
WORD COUNT: 2,143
Part 3 here we go! Like I mentioned before, I want to make this story as realistic as possible, while still allowing for fun elements. Obviously that implies some emotional moments, but I feel like this will hopefully allow us to see Beth (and the other characters) is a familiar light. I’ve fallen in love with these characters much faster than I even anticipated, so I hope you enjoy! Part 4 will be up soon!
A hushed conversation is what eventually pulls me out of my slumber, although I try my best to ignore them.
“I just feel bad waking her up, she must be exhausted.”
“Yeah, but she won’t be able to sleep tonight if she sleeps much longer.”
“True. Ah, do you think she’ll notice if I steal her photo from Jeju Island?”
At this I finally drag myself to consciousness, ferociously protective of my photo. “You touch it and you die,” my threat comes out sounding not quite as threatening as I had hoped, and the fact that my exhausted brain only managed to get the threat out in English doesn’t help.
I turn to see Minsuh and Aera standing guiltily in the doorway, the former with an embarrassed smile.
“Did you just threaten us?” Minsuh asks tauntingly, knowing that it always takes me a few minutes after I wake up to completely switch into Korean mode. I simply nod as angrily as possible.
“Of course,” Aera snorts at my predicament. “It was easy to tell from your tone of voice. You know, for being the youngest, you aren’t very respectful of your elders.”
I completely ignore her, this being a common point of teasing between us all. Although I am the youngest, and the last out of the seven of us to find out about this whole soulmate mess, they still tend to look to me when it comes to making leadership decisions. I’ve never questioned it much, having always felt most comfortable leading, but I can’t help but wonder if it has something to do with who my soulmate is.
I check my phone to see that it’s already nearly 9 pm, and I shoot them a glare at the same time my stomach growls. They simply skip out of my room, but not before Aera peeks back in to tell me to freshen up.
“We’ll go out to eat in fifteen minutes! Are you sure you don’t want takeout instead? It’s been a long day for you.” Aera takes all of my possible needs into consideration, a trait that I’ve always admired. It’s also the reason why we’ve often had to tell her to slow down, breathe, and focus on taking care of herself. I hope Jimin will understand that too.
Long story short, I have a lot of hopes for my fellow soul-sisters and their soulmates and very, very little for myself.
“No, I want to go out. It’s been so long since we’ve all gone out together. What are we getting?”
Aera smiles at me, pleased with my decision. She’s one of the most social, always aching to get out and go do something.
“Ichika was going on about getting some udon noodles, does that sound alright?”
My stomach rumbles at the mere mention of the Japanese noodles, and we both take that as a yes.
↔
When Bang Si-hyuk decided that it would be best if the seven of us had an apartment together in Seoul, our only condition was that it be close to good food. He might have thought it strange or immature, but I’m still grateful for our foresight back then.
I currently wander beside Himari, our arms slung around each other's shoulders. Ichika leads the way with Kyung-Soon, the two of them rubbing their bellies as we all talk about the good food we just devoured.
If I try hard enough, the cameras that are capturing our every move fade away into the blackness of the night.
Minsuh, Aera, and Seohyun bring up the rear, singing “Mic Drop” at the top of their lungs.
“Himari! Himari!” Seohyun giggles like a maniac. It’s no secret she’s a sucker for Mic Drop. I’ve heard her sing it more than I’ve heard the actual song at this point. “C’mon, help me with the ‘mic mic bungee’ transition, from j-hope to Suga.”
Himari wastes no time in jumping back there, the two of them looking absolutely insane as they go all out. It leaves the rest of us with tears running from our eyes at the sight.
“You look drunk,” Kyung-Soon points out, trying and failing to look serious. “Did you drink?”
Both girls giggle in response, still trying to perfect the transition. “No, of course not. We’re drunk on life, Soon-ah!” Seohyun blurts out, and we all groan in response.
“You know how we get when we’re all together,” Aera interjects. I note that Minsuh has taken her phone out of her pocket and is filming the show. I have no doubt that she’ll find a way to use the footage against them in the future.
“It’s been sooo long,” Ichika adds, smiling warmly at me.
“Yeah, yeah. Sorry that I had to leave for so long. I know you all missed me.” I smirk at them, and they roll their eyes at me. Nobody denies it though, I have hundreds of text messages stating how much they missed me to prove it. I swear I received at least one every day.
Kyung-Soon links her arm in mine, and we continue walking. “We’ll see you weirdos at the house,” she calls over her shoulder. One camera breaks off to follow us from a distance, the other staying behind to watch the show play out. Sure enough, Seohyun and Himari hardly even notice our absence, they’re too busy trying to remember choreography.
With only a couple of blocks left to go before we make it back to our apartment, Soon and I fall into a companionable silence. It’s a while before she breaks it.
“How’s everything going with your book?”
I smile at her, touched that she thought to even ask. She’s always been good at that, though. “It’s...going.” I shrug, and she gives me a knowing laugh.
“You’ve said that about every book. Is this one no different?”
Kyung-Soon is one of the quieter ones, but she’s also one of the people I trust the most. We’ve spent countless nights over the past three years talking late into the night, bouncing book ideas off of each other as well as discussing our deepest fears.
“Well, it was going great for a while. Right now I’m struggling with a bit of writer’s block. Or it’s not even writer’s block. I’m just…” I sigh, craning my neck to look up at the stars far above me. “I’m just tired.”
Kyung-Soon hums in acknowledgement. That’s another thing that I admire. She rarely jumps in with a solution. If she asks a question, it’s because she wants to listen to the answer, not because she’s waiting with a counter-attack.
I wonder for a brief moment if Jin, her soulmate, does the same thing. I entertain the thought for all of two seconds before shaking it off.
Our apartment can be seen at the end of the street, the balcony light still flipped on from earlier.
“Why do you think you’re tired?”
I look at Kyung-Soon, my oldest soul-sister also looking at the balcony light with a small smile on her face. With that expression on her face, I release a shaky breath. The exhaustion from my flight, the pressure of my book deadlines as well as current Webtoon updates and meetings that I have coming up all settle in.
“Soon-ah,” I whisper, and I lower my gaze until it falls on the microphone clipped to my shirt. “Am I doing the right thing?”
She waits patiently for me to continue, even as she gestures something to the cameraman. He mumbles a quiet “goodnight” before retreating into the shadows to set up his camera in a new position.
Kyung-Soon unlocks the door, quietly ushering me inside as I take deep breaths. It doesn’t take long before I’m led out onto the balcony, and I realize that she must have told the cameraman that we would be up there, thus allowing him to capture more footage without having him impose on our conversation inside. I’m grateful for her kind thought, I usually hate when the cameras have to follow us inside.
“It’s just, everytime I come back to Seoul, I start questioning myself all over again.” I wrap myself up in a spare blanket, offering another to Kyung-Soon which she accepts. “There’s just so much uncertainty. Not just in my job. I’m kind of used to that by now, everything can change in a rewrite or an editorial meeting and turn my whole book upside down in a matter of seconds. It’s frustrating, but I can handle that.”
Soon sits quietly, looking up at the night sky. I mirror her movement, hoping it masks the tears that are threatening to spill over at any minute now.
“What’s the other uncertainty?”
We both already know what it is, although I rarely speak about it. I’ve never really even known how to open up and talk about how even though I should be the most happy girl in the world knowing that Kim Namjoon is my soulmate, I have to stop myself from fleeing to Antarctica at the mere thought of actually having to face him.
“I can’t-” I start, but Soon cuts me off.
“You have to.” I look over at her face, which is now completely serious. “Beth, please don’t lock us out and keep all of these feelings to yourself. You don’t have to tell us every little thing, but you need to talk about it. Just because you don’t say it out loud doesn’t mean that you won’t feel scared or worried anymore.”
Sometime during her little speech, the tears started falling. I fall into Soon’s embrace, neither one of us acknowledging the fact that this is the first time I’ve openly cried about my soulmate since that first weekend in Jeju Island. And, if I remember correctly, all of us cried a bit that weekend.
We stay there for a few minutes, and I close my eyes tight because every time I open them they stray to where the cameraman sits in the shadows, eating up the sentimental moment.
“Please tell me,” Soon whispers, and I nod even as a broken hiccup leaves me. I chuckle at the random hiccup, and it helps me to breathe easier as the load I’m bearing is already starting to feel lighter.
“I look at our boys,” I begin, clinging tightly to my blanket and looking up at the stars for the strength I need to say what I need to say. “And I feel like they’re already complete. They have each other, they have ARMY, they’re complete. They have no idea that soulmates are even a thing, let alone that they have soulmates. There’s a part of me that’s mad about that. Mad that for the last three years I’ve been waiting for a man that is already happy without me, that is already more loved that he can even fathom. Mad at freaking Mr. Bang,” Soon chuckles, knowing how much I love and hate the man, “because he refuses to tell them until the ‘time is right’. It’s been three years! And I’ve picked myself back up and tried my hardest to continue on in my career, and it’s fulfilling. I have the most amazing friends in the world, my family is so loving and supportive, and I love my job.”
I stop, nearly panting as my anger fades into something sharper, jabbing at my heart as hot tears spill out onto my cheeks. Soon squeezes my shoulder, bringing me back to the present.
“So why do I feel so lonely?”
I lose the ability to go on speaking, the words too heavy to push out anymore. Instead I simply stare down at my knuckles that clutch the blanket so hard they’re white.
“Oh, Beth. I’m so sorry. Here I was, thinking that it was physically impossible for you to miss Namjoon. Turns out you’re just like me!” Kyung-Soon chuckles even as she wipes the tears from my eyes. “And I know what you’re thinking. How can I miss someone I’ve never met? Easy.” She holds a hand to her heart, and for a moment I can see through my tears enough to see the faraway look in her eyes, mingled with pain and adoration. “Jin has my heart. The idiot doesn’t even realize it, but he’s got it. So I just hope that he returns it to me soon, and in person. That way I can give him a taste of his own medicine and steal his heart. See how he likes it.”
I can’t help but laugh at the evil wink Soon sends me.
“He’ll probably fall in love with you the second he sees you, Soon-ah.”
“What’s that word you taught me again? When I want to say the same thing back?
Another chuckle falls from my lips. “Ditto?”
“Yeah, that. Ditto, Beth. Namjoon won’t know what hit him.”
A/N: the idea came from me from a quote I saw while scrolling thru my social Media “you are more beautiful than any painting here”
Entering the museum with your best friend, you pull out your wallet to pay for your own ticket but a tall man with glowing chocolate brown eyes pushes your hand back into your purse. You gives you a smirk and speaks “don’t worry I will pay for you keep your money for other things”
Looking shocked you ask him “Are you sure?” you keep your wallet hovering above your purse “I can easily pay for myself” you smile moving your hand again to try and get your wallet.
The handsome man pushes you out of the way and ask the man behind the counter for “Two tickets, all access” he looks at you “put it away, I got this”
“Namjoon” your voice cracks with a slight whine to it, “you really don’t have to do this” you sigh and finally but your wallet away giving up.
“I know I don't have to but I want, i enjoy doing nice things from time to time” he laughs pulling you into the museum holding your hand, pulling you to a marble statue that has a large round ball as its base and two large marble ribbons coming out of the ball between the ribbons are slates connecting them, you and Namjoon stare at them for a moment before he speaks up “I really enjoy abstract art, it really gives you a look into the mind of the artist.” he gives you a dangerous grin making your legs weak.
You look around the room and a painting of a young girl catches your eye you stare at her feeling connected to the young girl for some reason, the young girl is standing at the edge of a precipes looking lost as a red balloon floats away, you feel slightly sad staring at this picture Namjoon walked up to you as you stare at the painting and he hugs you from behind “I don't know why but this makes me feel sad.” You sigh to yourself wondering why you fell so connected to her.
Namjoon grabs your arm and pulls you down the hall “ I hear there is a great cafe in here we should go get some coffee.” He smirks again making your knees weak enough that when he tugs on your hand again your feet easily follow him, letting him pull you down a hallway. You watch as his dirty blond hair bouncing in front of you, you run up behind him giggling slightly when I painting catches your eye, the sun is reflecting of its canvas, it shows a young boy holding a blue bird and looking into the eyes of a squirrel. You stop running while still holding Namjoon’s hand he has to stop himself from falling your breath is caught in your chest. He looks at you asking you if everything is okay. You nod nonchalantly, he points to the plaque and speaks again “it says its called ‘Nature Boy’ and it was done by Josephine Wall”
You nod absentmindedly still taken aback by the picture still “This is just so beautiful I can't even think straight, I have never seen anything more beautiful than this in my whole life”
From behind you a soft voice speaks bringing you back to reality “I have seen something even more beautiful” you look back at the 5’11” man is looking at you his brown eyes glowing as he smiles at you cocking his head to the side seeing how confused you are “What you really don’t know what I mean?” he giggles a little bit and shakes his head “you I mean you, you are more beautiful than any painting here”
Feeling a little shook you stand there looking at Namjoon mouth open “I had no clue that you felt that way about me” you stutter a bit trying to form a coherent sentence and find the correct words to tell a man that you have always had a small secret crush on. While you keep stuttering “why have you never said anything before?”
Rolling his eyes in a playful way and placing a hand on your shoulder “I thought I made it very obvious I am always doing more for you then I do for anyone else, not counting my members of course” a small giggle escapes his mouth he stops and thinks for a moment and before he can say anything he speaks again “here I wanna show you something” you both leave the museum and he pulls you to his car as he pulls away he begins speaking to you again.
