Review: Toxic by Natasha Devon
I love a good teen drama that harks back to my own school days because I like to analyse the situations that I was in with the wisdom I’ve gained. Toxic friendships are something that so many teenage girls go through and I was excited to see how this book depicts them.
Llewella is a smart, ambitious theatre kid but she also has an anxiety problem and feels like she sticks out as a brown, fat girl in her largely white, skinny high school. When new girl Aretha arrives, Llewella thinks she might have finally found a best friend who can show her new ways of having fun. As they spend more time together, Aretha puts Llewella on a diet and drags her into a world of photoshoots and celebrity-filled parties. Llewella has never had a real friend before, so she’s determined to be the very best friend she can to Aretha, even if that means abandoning the things that used to make her happy. Because sometimes you have to make sacrifices for your friends, right?
I think many people, particularly plus-sized people and/or non-white people, have felt out of place at several points in their life and high school may be the first time that feeling occurred. Llewella wants nothing more than to just blend in and not be a target for bullies but her own body makes that impossible. I really love how the real Llewella knows that she doesn’t have to change to be accepted. As the toxic friendship developed, I kept willing her to get back to that because I knew it would be key to breaking free of the situation she’d found herself in.
Toxic people often have a lot of charisma, when you first meet them. There will be something that draws you in and you won’t be able to resist trying to get to know them. Their toxicity rarely shows itself straightaway. Although, it is described as a literal glow in this book which is perhaps a little unrealistic, I completely get what the author means!
As soon as Aretha started policing Llewella’s eating habits, very loud alarm bells started ringing in my head that wouldn’t stop. It’s interesting that Llewella describes it as ‘ridding my body of toxins’, while the biggest toxin of all is her new ‘friend’. I didn’t like Aretha from the beginning but behaviour like this only reinforced my intense dislike and I just wanted to show Llewella the reality of the situation, which she was completely blind to at this point. It could have ended much worse and that’s perhaps a warning that the book could have touched on a little more.
I thought that the way Llewella’s anxiety was portrayed was very accurate too. That feeling of not belonging in a normal conversation with people of your own age and own interests is so common for people with anxiety disorders. So many readers will be able to fully relate to Llewella in this and will no doubt be cheering her on to overcome that evil inner voice.
There is a part of the book where Llewella and Aretha go to Aberystwyth, which happens to be my favourite place in the UK. I can’t explain how excited I got reading about all these very specific shops and places in the town. Only someone who has been there and loved it would be able to describe it in such charming detail and it was such a buzz to be there with Llewella.
Toxic is a relatable story of an unhealthy female friendship. While this particular female friendship takes place between teenagers, the level of toxicity displayed in this book isn’t reserved for young girls. There will definitely be women of all ages, who will instantly think of someone who behaved like Aretha does towards Llewella. Mental health issues are handled sensitively while courage and self-acceptance triumphs, which was really lovely to read!
