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so @staff you want my honest opinion orrrr

#it’s been loading for seven minutes #I have plenty of feedback for you #stop censoring my mnm pics because they’re circles you cowards #Cowards!#natblogs

i need to be steel. Not emotionless, but sturdy, self-reliant, stable. Too many of us have no control over their mood swings, latching on to an FP or taking on the stress expressed by others. It’s led to so, so many incidents. I don’t want to lose more friends, even if that means cutting contact for a while. I don’t want to end up relapsing. So I do what I have to as a host. I am not emotionless, but I’m putting myself and my headmates first.

#needed to get that off my chest #I don’t sound like myself #do I?#i sound like our chara lmao #unless someone else is fronting or I say it’s alright #I wouldn’t recommend venting to me specifically #you might not get the response you were looking for #natblogs #chara look #check this shit out gdjjgdjkg

Actually alita really means a lot to me so let’s not throw her under the bus okay

#not to be a fuckwad but she’s gotten me through the past couple days #SHEER POWER OF SPECIAL INTEREST AHOY #natblogs

Fran fronted for about seven days total, only taking breaks to sleep at night. Which is uh...unexpected, considering her age and role. Even other alters, older and with more experience, won’t front that long without breaks over a couple days. I worried she was going to do what hat did, and panic about being there so long, but she didn’t? Even I don’t usually consistently front for a week straight. I might have to consult bill, radio, and itward about her role and what it means. It’s not like she was really stuck, she could easily come and go as she pleased, which she proved by going to bed in the nearby café and trying to find itward somewhere we can’t get to. However, kotoko fronted about two weeks straight in August (with others cofronting at times) so I wonder if we’re entering some kind of new era. It might also have something to do with the fact that the headspace forest suddenly jumped straight up to the most populated area...

#natblogs #headspace #oh now morty is talking #basically I’m kind of freaking out over this #she’s only just turned ten but she’s already made herself incredibly comfy in all current situations #she got triggered out by our new good friend system and she didn’t want to leave #she found herself a room that we can’t see or get to - we know it’s there but it just...floats #Fran somehow discovered somebody named itward in a similar fashion through this checkered hallway leading to a throne room and it’s also no #I feel like I’m losing control over everything #I was stuck outside the fronting room next to Kiki in a grassy area where I could hear kind of muffled things but overall it’s hazy and I h #what’s also concerning is the fact that the headspace forest is incredibly close now #I could see it #I think itward is a fragment - fran is happy to have him but he’s kind of freaked out and I think he scared bill too #everything goes kersplotz these days

Every time we host or participate in a DID discussion voice chat, no matter where the conversation goes, we end up dissociating on a severe level. This includes

- time loss

- limb shaking

- that feeling you get when you stand up too fast

- speech is tinny, almost disconnected

- blurry vision

And probably more...does this happen to anybody else?

#I’m a tad concerned #natblogs #pearlblogs #actuallydid #dissociative identity disorder #traumagenic

I’m tired of being a willing dumbass

#no energy left to care enough to move twenty feet #welcome to bitchtown do you want a phucking beesechurger #vent #natblogs

Yahtzee I missed youuuuuu mwah goblin kisses

#guess who’s back #back again #maybe i should have intrusive thoughts more often so he shows up to expel them #yahtzee ily you stupid little funky gobin man #natblogs #mindmatter

Some of these posts are so funny to me because I don’t know the context at all despite literally sharing a brain with these goons

#STOP what are y’all doin...#everyone labels me as the smooth one but honestly it’s just because I’m apathetic and snarky as shit #mindmatter #natblogs #and I gueeeess #monikablogs #surprise!

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