Hashirama x Assistant!Reader Relationship Headcanons
𓆃 It's bound to happen because Hashirama is cliche and predictable! He's far too sappy for his own good!
𓆃 After a lifetime of battle, Hashirama was thrust into a political position with absolutely no experience and little more than optimistic passions.
𓆃 Of course, he's falling for the first person who spends a meaningful amount of time with him and seems to have a stake in his dream.
𓆃 And he's not making it a secret either. Hashirama will happily spend most of his days flirting with you— although he flirts with most of the staff— and loves to engage in banter.
𓆃 It's probably the best way to get on his good side is to come up with witty things to respond to him with because, with some time you could probably predict about half of everything he says.
𓆃 Bonus points if it's a pun. It'll earn you a, "Ho, hoo! That was a good one!" because Hashirama has the soul of an old man.
𓆃 If you get really good, you can probably mouth his responses in real time as he says them.
𓆃 For as flirtatious as he is, Hashirama is the kind of man who will do everything to avoid making you actually uncomfortable. He's never alone with you if he can help it, and often asks you if you're okay doing certain tasks that stray from your regular routine.
𓆃 "Just slap me if I'm being stupid. You have my full permission to say, 'Hashirama, you're acting like a fool, 'kay?'"
𓆃 It's impossible to keep him on any sort of schedule, too. His memory is notoriously bad, but he somehow retains the most useless information like politician's niece's names from seven years ago and not his morning meeting.
𓆃 He likes to give you money. Like, he'll give you money to pick up lunch for the two of you, and it's like just barely too much. It's not even in a leveraging, power-imbalance sort of way, he just supports you getting yourself a treat.
𓆃 He's also terrible with money, but that's a different discussion.
𓆃 Hashirama puts a lot of trust in you, and because of how terribly organized he is, you end up handing most of his things. Whether it's meetings or his laundry, you've somehow become rather ingrained into his schedule and personal life.
𓆃 You know Tobirama well as well as Madara. Anyone close to him you've already met and made decent impressions on. And for all the people Hashirama's forgotten the name of, you remember them too.
𓆃 You've practically already gained a goofy husband through this job; it's not too far of a stretch to just make it official.
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