your eyelashes graze your cheeks as a rosy tint grew over them. your subtle breaths were comforting and paired with your chest slowly moving up and down, it was a reminder that you were still with me.
i never quite understood why i sat near you every possible second of my day, my hand grasping yours.
perhaps it was the way your hair glistened in the sunlight the first time my eyes laid sight of you. you looked happy that day, though i never understood why.
maybe it was the day i bumped into you again, this time at school. you told me your name as you smiled at me, the corners of your mouth gently curving upwards.
or perhaps it was the day you took me to your favorite spot; the greenhouse on the roof of your sister's restaurant. you barely spoke that day and your expressions were solemn. it wasn't like you but i ignored it - you were always happy, so one day wouldn't have mattered.
despite any moment i laid my eyes on you, whether you were happy or sad, you were still the most beautiful person i had the pleasure of seeing. the way your eyes glistened and your cheeks grew with your soft grin.
even now, you were still happy... how were you always so happy?
"huang renjun?"
i stood up in haste. "yes sir, that's me."
he looked at me with a saddened expression. "i apologize, but her results are not looking too good."
"no."
"sir?"
"smile and tell me that she's fine." a pause followed as the air around us was heavy. "didn't you hear me? i said tell me she's fine."
the doctor was silent, and it infuriated me. you were able to smile even in the saddest of moments, telling me that you were happy even when you shouldn't have been.
"I'm sorry sir. i'll return to tell you the rest of our policy. she doesn't have much time left."
i sat back down and you were still smiling. though your chest was still moving, it had slowed since the last time i saw it.
"how are you so happy about this? i'd be in tears if i was you."
"hm, I'm not sure. i mean, yeah i failed an important exam but it's not like my life is over. as long as I'm here with the people i love, i really don't have a reason to be sad.
everything will be okay!"
i tried... i tried so hard, but i couldn't hold back the large sob that was growing in my throat. tears ran down my cheeks.
"renjun, i got- renjun?" my sister walked into the room until she stopped, confused at my expression. "why are you smiling?"
"i don't know."
"why are you crying then?"
"i don't know."
in an instant, the bag of groceries left my sister's hands.
the sound of the heart monitor was so loud - so overbearing. rather than the single beating sounds, it was one static noise.
dropping to her knees, my sister buried her face into her hands.
suddenly, a loud sob escaped my lips. i couldn't smile. i couldn't sit there and lie to myself.
is that how you felt that day, (y/n)? the first time i ever saw a frown adorn your face. we sat on the edge of the roof as the sprinklers in the greenhouse behind us filled the air. you weren't happy that day but i ignored it.
though i wish i hadn't.
that day, were you finally tired of lying to yourself? of lying to everyone?
[12:20 AM] Vet!Jaemin silently closed the door of your apartment behind him, stepping inside the living room. He had spent his weekend volunteering at a local animal shelter which was terribly underfunded and relied mostly on community donations.
He had brought a stray cat home with him. The orange and white tabby cat needed constant care for the next twenty-four hours and Vet!Jaemin had offered to take it home for the evening.
You laid peacefully on the couch, your mouth slightly parted as you dozed. Vet!Jaemin smiled to himself. You had waited up for him again.
Despite his erratic work schedule, you always plopped yourself opposite the door waiting until he came back home to you.
Vet!Jaemin approached, carefull not to disturb your slumber.
“This is Y/N,” Vet!Jaemin whispered to the cat curled in his arms.
The cat’s ears perked as if it was listening.
“We like Y/N a lot,” Vet!Jaemin brushed between its eyes.
The tabby cat let out a quiet meow in agreement. Vet!Jaemin muffled his laugh.
[12:51] Being raised like this, you thought of your future being a field of thornless garden of a full-blown spring, blooming to the brim with your perfect prince charming ahead of you. You thought about falling in love with a high blush on your cheeks, fairy lights illuminating your path, and a gentleman waiting for you patiently. You never even saw yourself being lovestruck with a guy who calls you stupid and annoying one time then love and beautiful just a little later. Complicated things in life are just not for you, and everything Lee Donghyuck had to offer was that, alongside trouble.
All you ever wanted was a clear path of roses but that was just impossible. In a place where flowers bloom promises a bed of thorns, after all. Perhaps, that's where you are laying in right now. There's a familiar burn on your chest and a strange stab alongside it, your hands helplessly reaching out to the other boy, unable to run anymore, "Haechan-ah…"
Said boy only shifts, burying his face deeper on the crook of your neck as he lazily kisses your collarbones, light and comforting as he hums ever now and then. His reply comes a little late and muffled, "What?"
"You know… You're here, right? And my mind always tells me that it was nice... that it's enough, that I shouldn't be greedy," you bite your lips, debating whether you should continue or not. The warmth he provides you with is too good, his kisses too loving, the feel of his locks under your fingertips too soft and it would be so devastating if they were to be ripped apart from you. Something inside you begs not to, another telling you to just stop being a coward and do it! You have to say this, you decide, it's for the better. It's now or never.
"My heart though... my heart keeps on wishing it would last forever. It didn't take much time, you know? For my heart to take over my whole-being, until all logic was out and everything inside my mind is just thoughts of a future that would never work out, and me convincing myself that maybe… if I could… if I could just make you stay, if I could just… be enough of a reason… maybe we can compromise?"
But it's never that easy in real life, you smile to yourself just after feeling everything coming into a halt.
Haechan stiffens beside you, the arms he's had draped over your shoulders falling on your corners and his lips move an inch then another away from your skin. There's an unreadable expression on his face as he meets your gaze.
It's never that easy, everyone would that tell you that, and you have the perfect reply for it: This is real life, and none of it came easy for us, anyway.
"You're really, really stupid sometimes, aren't you? Didn't I tell you not to love me? Now I have no choice but to keep you to myself," he grins and pulls you into a kiss, soft and gentle, just like the side he reserves for you. Your heartbeat flutters when he pulls away, smiling way too proudly, "That's annoying."
