pairing - lee donghyuck x reader (a comfort fic)
genre - angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, established relationship AU
warnings - mentions of a bad day, depressive thoughts and insecurity, disordered eating, stress
a/n - it’s 3am and I watched a sad tiktok so I’m writing some hyuck comfort because I love him (i write for OT23 so please request if you’d like to see more nct fics!)
quick disclaimer - in no way is this intended to romanticise depression in any way shape or form it is intended to serve as comfort for both myself and anyone who needs it :) as always I’m here to talk if you ever need it and I hope you enjoy <;3
Your day hadn’t been great. If you thought about it, it’s been a while since you’d had a good day. Your mind often liked to play tricks on you, flood every waking hour with insecurities and foolish thoughts. It created the same old pit in your heart it always did. You were a burden. A bothersome person unworthy of anything you possessed in life. Especially unworthy of him.
This day had been particularly harsh on you. Everything seemed to go as wrong as they possibly could at any given moment. And to make things worse, you’d been given a project last minute which needed to be finished by the next day. Hence being the last person left in the office at 11pm. You knew your work never treated you very well. They took advantage of you and hardly respected or appreciated you in return. But your job was the one thing that made you feel some sort of worth. You’d had an ultimate fear that without the job, without some form of reward for the little motivation you’d had recently, you’d lose any motivation you had left. And in turn you’d lose him too.
As you entered your shared apartment and kicked off your shoes, Donghyuck immediately shot up from his position on the couch. His brow furrowed immediately at the sight of you. You were beautiful to him, you’d always been, but the bags under your eyes and your slightly sunken in cheeks were plenty means for concern. He’d noticed small patterns in you over the years he’d known you. He could tell when things were slowly beginning to get bad again, when your meals became smaller and less frequent, and your smile became faker. He knew these were the times he had to stay by your side the most, and now was no exception.
“Y/N?” You looked up from the floor at the sound of his voice, and your heart sunk as you realised he’d stayed up to wait for you. He deserved rest and he wasn’t getting it because of you.
Trying to suppress the guilty tears threatening to fall, you put on a small smile, which Donghyuck can see doesn’t quite reach your eyes.
“Hey Hyuck. You really shouldn’t have waited for me, it’s really late.” He pouted slightly at your statement, which warmed your heart a little.
“That’s exactly why I should’ve stayed up. You need cuddles from your adoring boyfriend after a long day working late.” He stood up from his position on the couch, walking over to you and pulling you into his arms. The tears threatened to fall, but you tried to suppress them once more. You didn’t want to ruin Donghyuck’s affectionate mood with your emotional state.
He pulled you beside him on the couch, leaning against the armrest and pulling you tightly against his chest. “I missed you today,” he mumbled softly into your hair, pressing gentle kisses to the crown of your head.
You hummed in reply, closing your eyes as Donghyuck softly drew shapes on your forearm with the pads of his fingers. You tried to clear your mind, focusing on the rise and fall of his chest beneath you.
Donghyuck chewed on the inside of his cheek, contemplating whether now was the right time to talk to you or not. He wasn’t going to let you suppress all your thoughts and emotions for this long, it wasn’t healthy and he was worried about you. But he was worried that he would ruin the first chance you’ve had to relax in a long time.
His concern won the battle as he gently brushed his thumb against your cheek, prompting you to open your eyes and look at him. He helped the two of you sit up, interlocking one of his hands with yours, the other resting gently on your knee.
“Y/N,” he started, unsure of the best way to start. “Are you doing okay? I’m worried about you.”
Your heart sunk, this was the last conversation you were expecting that night. You’d thought you’d done a better job of hiding it, trying your hardest not to worry him anymore than he needed to. A tear slipped down your cheek, both shocked and emotional at his sudden question and the overwhelming thoughts filling your brain, and you swipe it away quickly.
He grabs your hand gently, lowering it to your lap. “See what I mean? You’re suppressing it, you’re hiding it from me. I-I just want you to tell me what’s going on in that pretty little head of yours so I can help you.” His voice wavered slightly, almost pleading you to let him help you. His heart was shattering seeing you like this, and he was desperate to do whatever it took to take some of your pain away.
You let the tears fall, unable to hold them back any longer as Donghyuck gently swiped them away. “I don’t know what’s going on, but you don’t have to worry. It’s something I can easily fix on my own.”
His heart broke even more at your response. “Sweetheart, please, let me help you. I’m here for you, always. You’ve been skipping meals and sleeping late and bottling up your emotions. You don’t have to deal with this all your own.”
Sobs racked your body at his words, and you slumped against him, burying your head in his chest as he held you tightly to him. “I- I’m just sick of all the thoughts constantly going through my head. Stupid insecurities that are making me push people away, and too many emotions for me to sort out all at once. I just want to be able to appreciate what I have without being scared I’m going to lose it all at a moments notice. I want to feel like I’m good enough for you instead of feeling guilty you have to put up with someone like me.”
Donghyuck gently ran his fingers through your hair as you spoke, listening intently to every word you were saying. “Sweetheart, you never have to feel that way around me. You’re perfect. Your problems are never burdens, I want to listen so you don’t have to ever feel that way. I want to be the person you feel comfortable sharing stuff like this with so the weight you have on your shoulders is a little bit lighter.”
You sniffled lightly, looking up at him. “I love you, Hyuck. I’m sorry for acting like this.”
He frowned playfully at you. “Nope. No unnecessary apologies allowed here. I will accept kisses, though.”
You giggled softly, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips. He smiled adoringly at you. “I love you Y/N. Now, our plan of action is a delicious dinner cooked by your loving boyfriend, cooked quick enough to ensure you’ve washed up and are sleeping by 1am. You’ve worked so hard, and you need your rest. I’m so proud of you.” He pressed another kiss to your lips, a longer one this time, before setting off to the kitchen to make your favourite meal.
And you knew, despite your worries and your doubts, Donghyuck was going to be by your side forever.
