don offer us or me your pity. i don want it. im jus crying over the inevitable again. n need an outlet. sayin youre sorry for us wont change anything, no offense to any reader.
if someone truly cares about us, they wont get close to us then ditch us after we've opened up our entirety for them. and we can say this about MULTIPLE. PEOPLE. that. that fucking hurts. but yet again we're fated to have this happen to us over and over again so it don even matter.
for the love of fuck if youre reblogging this or commenting dont be anti-aplatonic or snarky or condescending or infantilize us treating us like a "poor little baby" or whatever. sorry. i cant afford friendliness right now i have been pushed to my limits.
-syntax/"harbinger"
aplatonicy and trauma
we are collectively aplatonic-spec. its a part of our collective aspec identity overall. and, from what we remember,
was purely caused by our trauma surrounding platonic relationships.
time and time again, platonic relationships have hurt each and every one of us in some way, whether directly or indirectly.
once they see we're broken, they lose interest and dont want to play with us anymore.
all of us are aplatonic-spec in some way. some completely aplatspec, some seemingly alloplatonic and dont identify with aplatspec at all.
we have grown to be extremely cautious when forming platonic relationships.
out of fear that our heart pump will be smashed into a million pieces once more.
time and time again, countless disappointments, pain, unnecessary, avoidable ends.
we are unlikeable, annoying, self-absorbed, broken.
sorry, not our fault all the people in our lives came up to us with metal bats and promised not to smash us with it.
but heres the thing.
we wont leave you.
we understand how it feels.
we unwillingly self punish and cant let go.
you will have to pry us off like a disgusting leech.
eventually we learned to just accept it.
thats whats going to happen.
enjoy it while it lasts.
if they can move on and replace us so easily, why cant we do the same in return?
its hard to let go when youve had nothing but devoted loyalty for a person.
we've had more people abandon and leave us than try to put forth the effort to share a platonic relationship with us.
we cannot guarantee it if you tell us, "this time it'll be different". we cannot guarantee if someone will stay or leave.
no matter how much of ourselves we pour out for you.
I've been talking about it with my best friend today and there's a very specific kind of guilt I feel today for missing my mom. There's still figures in my life who have been better mothers to me in a handful of years than my mom ever was, I'm loved, I KNOW that I'm loved. And that's why I feel bad for mourning her, and for longing for her today.
It's not easy to process grief over not just a person, but everything that person WASN'T in your life. Should have been, but wasn't. I cut contact with her for good reason, I didn't want it to be on my shoulders to mend the relationship we had but now that I know there will never be a chance TO mend it is...hard. its an awful feeling and I'm trying to learn how to deal with it every day and I don't want to wallow in it but I feel like just BEING sad today and then I feel bad for feeling sad when there's other mothers to celebrate instead
I don't know, I'm gonna try not to talk about it too much here but thats whats on my mind.
I just saw something very distressing that someone said about Lady Aphrodite and now I’m uncomfortable and stressed and I don’t know what to do
I wish there was like a way to filter out all posts that include violent or hateful words or sentiments directed at the gods
Think what you want to think, I don’t hate people for not liking certain deities, I just wish I could find a way to guarantee I never have to witness it
i wish more aspecs knew about aplatonics and actually respected them. i hate having to explain my aplatonicism to a community that should be understanding of the exhaustion that comes with explaining your identity. i hate experiencing repulsion within a community that should be understanding of it. i hate being overlooked by a community that understands how that hurts. i hate being demonized by a community for not feeling an attraction when that’s what our whole community is about. it’s frustrating and exhausting
Let's be kinder to our friendly neighbourhood aplatonics
I still don't truly understand why my friends are nice to me and aren't total dipshits and cunts to me. Like why don't you hate me? What did I do to earn this privilege of being treated like a human being????????????? /gen
