Neutralizer: What Goes Down Must Come Up
no matter what happens today, Xavey boy, it's better than getting your tongue cut off, so it's really not that bad (✿◡‿◡)
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Ingredients: mouth whump (NO teeth stuff), graphic emeto, needles/drugging, noncon touching/manhandling (unsexy), nasogastric tube insertion
Slowly but surely, Xavier recovered. His fever went away, his rash calmed down, and his leg stopped being swollen and purple, finally healed enough to walk on. As much as he didn't like being sick like that, stuck relying on Makena a little more than usual, a small part of him knew that now that he was better, the next experiment would happen soon.
Every morning, when he was given breakfast, he knew he was safe. Makena had always done the experiments in the morning, and she never gave him anything to eat beforehand. Thankfully, today was just another regular day, school-cafeteria-grade french toast sticks and all. He finished eating just as Makena returned, wiping his mouth as she set a small cup of red berries in front of him.
"Forgot to give you your fruit, sorry."
"All good." Xavier picked up one of the little round berries, examining it. "What…is this, exactly?" It kind of looked like a cranberry mixed with a tiny little tomato.
"How have you not-oh, these are a Rimdallian variety of cranberries. I suppose you've never seen them before. They're good. Sweeter than the standard ones." She leaned over and pointed at them. "Since they're so small, I like to take a big handful and eat them all at once so they burst together."
"Sounds kinda like what I do with pomegranate seeds," Xavier replied, pouring some into his hand. Makena was being weirdly nice today. Maybe she was just passionate about fruit? Whatever. He tossed the berries in his mouth, excited to try something new.
Turns out, new isn't always good.
The berries burst, alright, filling his mouth with an awful, acrid taste, so potent it made his tongue and the inside of his cheeks sting. He immediately retched and attempted to spit the berries out, but Makena, who'd been watching him intently, clamped a gloved hand over his mouth, shoving him back against his pillow.
"Chew and swallow, Xavier." Xavier, eyes wide, hands clawing to rip hers off, did not. He'd almost yanked her away when the collar activated, sending an awful shock though his body. Just as he'd recovered enough to start fighting again, another wave of electricity ripped through him, his scream enough to push some of the mushed berries out of his mouth as Makena's hand left him.
For a moment, he lay there, twitching, mouth hanging open, bits of berry dribbling down his lower lip, tears collected in the corners of his eyes, helpless as Makena used her gloved fingers to shove the berries back in his mouth, slapping a piece of duct tape over his lips. She pressed the edges down firmly, not even bothering to look him in the eye.
She didn't give him a chance to rip off the tape or try and push her away, pressing the button for a third time, hands wrapping around Xavier's wrists as he convulsed, sitting him up and wrenching his hands behind his back. The handcuffs locked around his wrists, and that was that. He still tried his best to fight back, kicking at her despite the awkward angle, but it didn't accomplish much.
Makena pulled him off the bed, catching him as he stumbled slightly, and he felt his face grow hot. But with this stupid tape on his mouth, he couldn't even curse her out or tell her to let him go. The berries were still sitting in his mouth, tasting as awful as ever, and his tongue and cheeks were really starting to hurt. Should he just give up and swallow? These things were clearly poisonous, and sending them down to his stomach might just make things worse.
But what the hell was the alternative? Something told him the tape wasn't coming off until he swallowed, and fuck did he hate the feeling of being gagged. Still, he kept the nasty berries in his mouth as Makena pulled him along by the arm, forcing him into the testing room with the chair. He struggled slightly as she forced him down into it, sort of wanting to obey just to get this shit over with, but not wanting to give her the satisfaction of his total cooperation.
After some halfhearted kicks and attempts to squirm out of her grasp, Xavier was once again strapped down in the chair, stuck facing the reality that he was going to have to swallow these stupid berries and let them do whatever other awful shit they were gonna do to him. Makena grabbed his chin, looking at him expectantly as she scanned his ear tag.
"Well, are you going to swallow them now, Xavier? That tape is staying put until you do, and I won't let you out of this chair, either. I'm prepared to hook you to an IV should you start to become dehydrated, so don't think you can wait me out." Xavier glared up at her, trying to look determined even as he weighed his options. He'd almost decided to wait it out a little longer just to annoy her when Makena spoke up again.
"Keep those raphides in your mouth long enough, and they might do enough damage to your tongue that you'll never be able to speak again."
He swallowed before he even considered the possibility that she might be lying.
They burned as they went down, tearing open a line of fire down his throat, the bitter taste and stinging pain in his mouth lessening only the tiniest bit now that the source was gone.
"See, that wasn't so hard." Makena thumbed the edge of the duct tape, savoring one last moment of quiet before ripping it away. Xavier yelped as the tape yanked out strands of stubble, the skin around his mouth left raw and stinging. He'd lost the motivation to shave every day, and fuck was it biting him in the ass now.
"Vete-" Xavier winced, the small movements of speech proving too painful for his burning tongue. He was about to suck it up and try again when her gloved fingers forced their way into his mouth, prying his jaws open wide.
"Certainly more red than any of the previous subjects," she muttered, grabbing his tongue harshly and yanking it out of his mouth even as he cried out in pain. "Don't whine. You could have swallowed them quickly and limited the damage to the inside of your mouth, but you had to be stubborn as always." Shit, now she was taking pictures, fuck that. He struggled with renewed vigor, managing to pull his tongue from her grasp and back into his mouth.
Makena's fingers followed closely behind, and Xavier let them slide in between his teeth before biting down hard. He tasted blood once again, but this time, it wasn't his.
"Fucking hell!" Makena cried out, pulling her injured hand away, red smearing her blue glove. Xavier couldn't talk much at the moment, opting to spit a glob of blood at her and smile. The spit ended up landing on his knee, but it was the gesture that counted. She met his eyes with a look of pure rage, and in that moment he realized he'd never really made her angry. Annoyed, yes, irritated, over it, frustrated, but never truly mad.
The blazing hatred in those eyes was enough to make him reconsider if biting her had been a good idea.
The needle she brought back after taking care of her hand was enough to convince him that it definitely wasn't.
"Wha-" he forced out, trying to squirm away as the alcohol wipe swiped across his skin.
"We're going to do this experiment a little differently than with my previous subjects," she said coldly, plunging the needle into his arm without warning. "Instead of letting the raphides run their way through your digestive system, you're getting an emetic. " Xavier didn't know what the fuck that was, but when the metal bowl from the last experiment thumped into his lap, it narrowed the possibilities down a bit.
He wasn't sure what exactly Makena had injected him with, but if it was supposed to make him nauseous, it was doing a damn good job. He lasted barely thirty seconds before the vomit broke through his desperate swallows and filled his mouth to the point of bursting. His half-digested breakfast splattered into the bowl, the sight of it making him retch even harder. And fuck did it hurt, the combination of the poisonous berries and stomach acid lighting his already stinging mouth on fire.
Makena just watched as he vomited, taking notes as he spat up the last bits of food in his stomach and coughed, bent over the bowl on his lap. All he could do was grip the armrests of the chair, face burning under her watchful gaze. There was something especially humiliating about someone watching him in such a vulnerable state, not reaching out a hand to wipe away his tears or offering something to clean the puke off of his face, just observing him like he was a fucking zoo animal.
When her hands did come, they grabbed his chin and twisted in his hair, wrenching his head back and forcing his jaw open. Xavier wished he had the strength to resist, but the aftershocks of throwing up left him weak and in pain. So all he could fucking do was cry and look at the wall as Makena shined a light in his mouth and stuck her fingers in and poked at his tongue, sending waves of pain down his throat, and he hated that she already felt comfortable enough to stick her fingers in his mouth again, he hated that she was right that he didn't have it in him to bite her again, not after what had just happened, he was just her pliant little test subject, one of the last things he'd ever wanted to be.
"You're so much more tolerable when you're quiet," Makena said as her hands left him, scribbling a few final notes before taking the bowl from his lap. She grabbed his hair again, looking him in the eye, and Xavier finally found it in himself to glare, red as his eyes probably were. "You're rather disgusting, aren't you? Let's clean you up a bit before getting you back to your cell." Xavier just huffed and looked away. He didn't particularly want Makena to wipe his face off like he was a child, but at this point the battle was lost. He'd let her do her shit for now so he could go be alone and entirely miserable in peace.
The wet cloth was rough against his skin, still tender from the tape being ripped off, and Makena didn't take care to be gentle as she wiped away the bits of vomit smeared around his mouth and under his nose. Once she was done, she raised a cup of water to his lips. "Rinse your mouth out," she commanded. Xavier opened his mouth without protest, wanting to get rid of the awful taste of bile and those bitter berries.
When he drank, he was rewarded with the taste of salt, the inside of his mouth lighting on fire all over again. Makena's hand slapped over his mouth before he had a chance to spit the saltwater back out. "Swish it around and I'll let you spit it out. If you swallow it or try to spit it out now I'm just going to pour it in again and again until you cooperate." Xavier knew he couldn't bear to keep the saltwater in his mouth for too much longer, and the thought of having to drink it over and over wasn't worth the few minutes of Makena's time he would waste. The bite had been enough for today.
He swished the water around, unable to keep his whines quiet as the salt raked claws over the flesh inside his mouth, spitting as soon as Makena removed her hand and offered him the cup. Her hand slid in his hair again, and he couldn't help but tense up, anticipating a rough fist gripping his hair and yanking his head back, but instead she just ruffled it gently. "Seems like you've finally learned your lesson, hm?"
"No," he choked, his tongue throbbing like it had been burned.
"Yes, yes, I'm sure it's temporary. Let's get you back to your cell before you stop crying, then." Xavier knew he'd been crying ever since she injected him with the puke drug, but it still stung to have Makena acknowledge it so blatantly. It was only natural that she thought he was a pathetic little bitch, wasn't it? She'd seen him in more states of helplessness over the past few months than anyone else had in years. Fuck, whatever, her opinion of him didn't actually matter.
But if she thought it, maybe it was true. He certainly felt pathetic as his weak struggles did nothing to save him from being handcuffed again and dragged back to his cell. Though…he was glad to be alone now, unrestrained in the familiar room. Just as he'd done many times before, he curled up on the bed and let himself cry freely, still in pain and thoroughly humiliated by the morning's events. Things were so much harder to endure when he couldn't really talk back.
If only he'd known how much worse the day was going to get.
Makena returned after a few hours, more than enough time for him to calm down, setting a plate of chicken and pasta with capers down in front of him. Throwing up had left Xavier ravenous, so he didn't even attempt to speak before he shoved a forkful in his mouth. In hindsight, he really should have smelled it first.
Then, he might have noticed that the thin sauce covering the dish mostly consisted of lemon juice.
He screamed, spitting the unchewed food back onto the plate before desperately gulping water, trying to ease the newly heightened intensity of pain in his mouth. Makena just watched with a smug smile on her face. "Seems like you won't be able to eat until you heal, huh?"
"Puta." It hurt like hell to talk, but Xavier forced it out anyway. He could probably eat if the food wasn't coated in fucking acid, but he wasn't able to talk enough to argue that point.
"I'm sure it would hurt a whole lot less if you didn't keep those berries in your mouth for so long. Not to mention bathing it all in stomach acid." Wha-she fucking forced him to throw up, that wasn't his goddamn fault. He settled for flipping her off, glaring with every ounce of hatred he could convey. She just smiled, pulling out the handcuffs again. "Don't worry, I'm not going to let you starve. Let's get you fixed up."
He didn't trust her definition of "fixed up" for a second, but all she had to do was activate his collar once and the cuffs were on, his hands in front of him for once. He was weak from pain and hunger, so she didn't have much trouble dragging him back to the testing room by the chain connecting his wrists. Fine, whatever, he was strapped to the stupid chair again, just get it over with.
The first thing Makena did when he was secure was…measure the distance between his nose and what seemed like the bottom of his ribcage. Weird, why would that matter? After that, she busied herself at the table behind him. He didn't hear much besides the sound of scissors and something squeezing out of a bottle. When she came back, she was holding a thin clear plastic tube. He wasn't sure how exactly that was going to-oh.
He did his best to lean away as she brought one end of it towards his face, much to her annoyance. "This is happening whether you like it or not, Xavier," she sighed, free hand roughly grabbing his hair once again.
"S-stop." The demand came out more like a plea, his voice wavering as the end of the tube slid into one of his nostrils. The feeling of it made his eyes water, and he couldn't hold back a cry as it went further in, discomfort shifting to pain. He gagged as he felt it crawl down his throat, squirming uselessly against the straps holding him down, Makena's tight grip on his hair ripping strands out as he thrashed.
"This wouldn't hurt as much if you'd just hold still," Makena grumbled, like she gave a shit at all whether or not he was in pain. The tube slid further and further in, the pressure inside his nose making it impossible for him to stop the tears from forming in his eyes, Makena far too close to him, her knee between his thighs, her body pressed up against his, forcing him to stay still as she fed the tube down his esophagus, eyes cold as she stared down at him, a slight smile on her face. She'd said in the past that she wasn't trying to make him suffer for the sake of it, but with the way she was looking at him now, he wasn't so sure that was the case anymore.
And he'd pushed her to that point, hadn't he?
Even when the tube stopped advancing and she let go of him, backing up, he could hardly relax, far too aware of the foreign object in his nose and throat, instincts making him cough uselessly. She taped the tube to his cheek, grabbing a small device and attaching it to the end of the tube. It made a weird sucking noise and then beeped, causing a smug smile to appear on her face.
"Looks like the tube got inserted into your lungs on accident." She set the device aside and ripped off the tape, considering him for a moment before wordlessly walking over to the cabinets behind him. Fuck, so now he was going to have to deal with her pulling the tube out and putting it back in? It was probably his fault for struggling, and even if he was a little satisfied that he'd still managed to annoy her and waste her time, he wasn't thrilled about the consequences.
He especially wasn't thrilled when she came back around in front of him holding a fucking needle.
"I wouldn't have to do this if you'd just behave." The alcohol wipe was cold against his skin, and he couldn't help but flinch as she brought the needle close, waving in front of his face.
"D-don't-" he stuttered, trembling under the straps. He knew exactly what was in that syringe, and he couldn't suppress a whine as she jabbed it into his arm. Trying to fight it was useless, his already restrained limbs growing heavy as he struggled against the leather straps, his head lolling forward momentarily before Makena grabbed his chin and tilted it back.
"There, much better." She grabbed the end of the tube, her other hand still on his chin. "I'm going to pull it out now," she warned, as if there was any way he could brace himself for the feeling of the thing crawling up his throat, sliding out of his nose, slick with blood, his body only able to twitch slightly as she pulled the end out, blood dripping freely from his nose now. Makena didn't bother addressing it, just taking the tube away to the table behind him.
Xavier's head fell forward again, and all he could do was stare at the steadily-growing spot of red on his white shirt, frustrated at his own helplessness. Couldn't yell, couldn't struggle, couldn't spit or snarl or glare, just a limp, pliant fucking doll that Makena could manhandle at her leisure. And handle him she did, head tilted back once more as she held up a clean tube, the end glistening with some kind of gel.
"You'll hold still this time, won't you?"
As if he had a goddamn choice.
Uncomfortable pressure crept up his other nostril, pushing the tears in his eyes to overflow, blood dripping into his mouth as he gagged on the tube sliding down his throat once more. Makena paused for a moment, tapping his cheek lightly. "Hold your breath or it might go the wrong way again." Defiance didn't even cross his mind as he did just about the only conscious action he could, air filling his lungs, the tube only resuming its journey when his chest had gone still, crawling discomfort and scrapes of pain as she pushed it further and further in, invading his very core.
It was just a fucking plastic tube.
How could it be so awful?
How could it hurt so much?
Xavier barely noticed when Makena finally stopped, only snapping back to attention when he heard the beeping of the little device, catching Makena's satisfied nod out of the corner of his eye before she taped the new tube to his cheek. She grabbed his chin, gloves sliding slightly on its bloody surface.
"I don't really feel like cleaning you up for the second time today, especially since I wouldn't have had to pull the first tube out if you had just held still. You can take care of yourself once you're back in your cell. But before that," she held up a clear IV-type bag full of warm yellow sludge, "you can finally eat."
Despite how unappetizing that looked, Xavier's stomach growled. At least that shit didn't have to go in his mouth?
Not that the blood still currently dripping in was much better.
She hung the bag up on a pole next to him, leaving him stuck in the chair with his head leaning back as she screwed the end of the tube coming out of his nose to the end of the tube on the bag. Once that was done, she left him to watch the yellow fluid ooze down the tube, eventually flowing past the point where he could see it. The drug hadn't worn off yet, but it's not like it mattered much since he was still strapped down to the stupid chair. He'd like to be able to close his mouth and stop tasting the blood still slowly dripping from his other nostril, like to be able to move his head to a different position where his neck didn't hurt, like to be able to just scrunch up his face and try to get some of the sticky feeling of dried blood off of it.
By the time his nose finally stopped bleeding, the drug started to release its hold on him. Xavier stretched his neck, careful not to jostle the stupid tube in his nose too much. He curled his lips into a snarl, which quickly turned into a wince as the dried blood cracked across his skin, still slightly tender from the duct tape. Just an all-around shit fucking day for his mouth and the area around it, huh?
"Makena," he said as loudly as he could while being gentle with his tongue. He wanted out of this damn chair already. It felt like he'd been sitting in it pretty much all day, besides the break in the middle.
Luckily, she didn't just leave him alone for fucking hours again like she had after the cyanide experiment. The bag of "food" was empty enough for her liking, so she unscrewed the tube and let him out of the chair, cuffing his wrists as usual. Just wanting to go back to his cell, he resisted the bare minimum, just enough to annoy her a little bit, but not enough to give him any actual chance of escape or avoiding restraint.
But…when the hell had he become so resigned?
Looking in the mirror, scrubbing off the caked-on layers of dried blood coating the lower half of his face and the spots on his chest underneath his bloodstained shirt, he couldn't help but think about the fact that he'd actually fully accepted that he was here now, that this was happening to him. It hadn't really been a conscious process, just denial and disbelief quietly fading away as he woke up in this prison day after day. And, fuck, he'd started complying right from the start. He'd sat still and let her give him the stupid ear tag piercing, behaved for bandage changes and T shots, letting himself get used to feeling of her gloved hands on him, traded cups of piss for a few pills, let her lead him back into his cell, his fucking cell, after she'd finished torturing him and taking notes.
His eyes fell on the collar, and he realized that that wasn't fair.
Maybe he'd given, but he'd also taken. He had the piercing because he wouldn't let her tattoo him, been collared because he was too difficult to control otherwise, had to be painstakingly strapped down for every single blood draw because he didn't want to make a damn thing easier for her, and, hell, he'd fucking bitten her earlier today. So what if he'd paid the price in vomit and blood?
Staring at himself in the mirror, evidence of both his resistance and his concessions plain to see, he reminded himself that he didn't have to fight with all of his strength every step of the way. He was trying to drag this out as long as possible, waste Makena's time, delay the moment when she poisoned him beyond curing, and he still had to get there intact.
So as much as he wanted to pull the tube out just to be a pain in the ass, he let it be. Today's fight was over.
After all, he had to start saving his energy for tomorrow's.
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