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Day Two Hundred and Fifteen

Joey Jello's Ghost Bike

Cesar Chavez & Pleasant Valley

The Hood, ATX

Yesterday I had a great honor

that came in a very odd package

I spent much of my day

in court

waiting for the sentencing

a man convicted of

manslaughter

because a year and a half ago

he sped drunk through a red light

in East Austin

and he hit a truck

and in that truck

was

Joey Jello

and his friends

Joey died that night

I never met him in person

but thanks to my

Ink Family

I got to meet his girlfriend

Rachel

who is an amazing knitter

Rachel

is so awesome

she invited me to

the hearing

and I went with the hope that

I might somehow be useful

maybe hold the space a little bit

for her

the hearing was scheduled for

1:30 pm

the defendant didn't show

and

he didn't show

and

he didn't show

there were around

twenty of us waiting for him

the judge

very kindly offered to

let us stick around

while they sent sheriff's officers

out to find the guy

the judge knew this was

a hard day for everyone

and he didn't want

Joey's mom to have to

fly back in again

and go through the excruciating process

of again waiting to

read a letter to

the man responsible

for her son's death

so we sat

and we sat

I meditated

I thought about

my own mistakes over the years

and I tried to

really stay focused on

COMPASSION

toward that end

I got a huge boost

when finally they

brought the guy in

cuffed

and sat him down at the table

first a lawyer read

some letters

from his aunt

from Rachel's mom

from his friend Edward

Then some of those present

got up

and read or spoke

their statements

Russell

and

Rachel

and

Spider

every one of them

talked about

how amazing Joey was

and

every one of them

mentioned forgiveness

though some admitted

they aren't there yet

but they acknowledged the word

the existence

of the possibility

which

really was something

and they all also

mentioned the fact

that the dude

showed up

more than two hours late

that was such an unnecessary

extra blow

to people who have been

suffering for so long now

who might never get true closure

but who

at least maybe might

have a chance to tiptoe forward

into life

after the hearing

so those two hours

really really really dragged on

and then

the

Most Amazing Thing

happened

Joey's Mom

Mama Jello

took her turn

in the seat where you sit

when you

have to tell

a judge

and

your friends

and

the man who

killed your son

just what that means

How does anyone ever

find words for this?

Here is how she started out

and while I won't ever forget

any of her words

this opening statement

will ring loud in my ears

for a very long time

She said

I got pretty angry

in the two hours we waited for you.

But I'm not going to

let that be

my story.

And then

Joey Jello's Mom

went on

to read three statements

her husband's

her own

and

her daughter's

She told

the man who

only glanced up

once or twice

that she knew that

revenge and non-forgiveness

were not an option for her

she told about

all the places her

son's ashes have been scattered

around the world

and the list includes

literally dozens of locations

she talked about all of his friends

and their love

and I listened

and I breathed

and I worked on trying to

hold the space

and then she

got to the part about how

her boy had

a big old

Heart Shaped Tattoo

with

MOM

in it

and how great his hugs were

and how much

she misses those hugs

and you know

that did it for me

my heart just

FELL APART

a week ago

I was in Brooklyn

and

I was hugging my son

as much as I could

get away with

and

I held his arm

when we walked through

the bitter cold streets

and

he didn't protest

and

there is not

a single thing in this world

not

One

Single

Thing

that has brought me

more love

more joy

more compassion

more anything

than being

mother to my son

before everyone read their letters

the judge asked

the convicted

why he was late

and he said it was because

he was trying to

help his kids understand

that he was going away

which made him late

to the one place he

should have been on time

so a woman who will

never understand

why her son had to

go away at 27

could at least have

a chance to

say her piece

at the time she had been promised

but

Mama Jello

did not let her anger

at the lateness

be her story

after she told us all

Joey's father's feelings

and

her own feelings

she then read a blog post

that

Joey's sister Sarah wrote

over at the

blog

Never Betray

which she keeps in memory of her brother

Like her mother

she, too

said

I FORGIVE YOU

and here is what else she said

Stop betraying yourself

and start making choices

that add life to your days on this earth

Be a better man, husband, father

When you leave this earth,

may those left behind say,

“I’m so glad I got the chance to know him.”

That’s what the friends and family of

Joey Jello are saying,

and it’s not too late for that

to be your legacy, too.

You can

read Sarah's entire letter here

I think about forgiveness

a lot

I have tried to learn it

I have managed to do it

and feel it

sometimes

and when I do

there really is

nothing like it

but I'm not sure

I could

have the kind of hearts

Joey Jello's family

have shown me

in the face of

something they

have faced

are facing

will face

every day

forever

I am so humbled

and

I am so grateful

for the reminder

always always always

try to

live better

and

appreciate

every moment

and

every one in that moment

Today I

Breathe In

and I

Breathe Out

and I

am so incredibly sorry

all of

Joey's family

blood and ink

for your loss

and

I am sorry

I never got to meet him

and

I hope you will visit

the

Ghost Bike

that stands in his memory

and

I hope you will

seriously hug someone

really big and hard today

in honor

of Mama Jello

and

the hugs

that she is missing

Thank you

#meditation #buddhism #joey jello #never betray #ghost bike #austin #ATX

Day Two Hundred and Fifteen

Joey Jello's Ghost Bike

Cesar Chavez & Pleasant Valley

The Hood, ATX

Yesterday I had a great honor

that came in a very odd package

I spent much of my day

in court

waiting for the sentencing

a man convicted of

manslaughter

because a year and a half ago

he sped drunk through a red light

in East Austin

and he hit a truck

and in that truck

was

Joey Jello

and his friends

Joey died that night

I never met him in person

but thanks to my

Ink Family

I got to meet his girlfriend

Rachel

who is an amazing knitter

Rachel

is so awesome

she invited me to

the hearing

and I went with the hope that

I might somehow be useful

maybe hold the space a little bit

for her

the hearing was scheduled for

1:30 pm

the defendant didn't show

and

he didn't show

and

he didn't show

there were around

twenty of us waiting for him

the judge

very kindly offered to

let us stick around

while they sent sheriff's officers

out to find the guy

the judge knew this was

a hard day for everyone

and he didn't want

Joey's mom to have to

fly back in again

and go through the excruciating process

of again waiting to

read a letter to

the man responsible

for her son's death

so we sat

and we sat

I meditated

I thought about

my own mistakes over the years

and I tried to

really stay focused on

COMPASSION

toward that end

I got a huge boost

when finally they

brought the guy in

cuffed

and sat him down at the table

first a lawyer read

some letters

from his aunt

from Rachel's mom

from his friend Edward

Then some of those present

got up

and read or spoke

their statements

Russell

and

Rachel

and

Spider

every one of them

talked about

how amazing Joey was

and

every one of them

mentioned forgiveness

though some admitted

they aren't there yet

but they acknowledged the word

the existence

of the possibility

which

really was something

and they all also

mentioned the fact

that the dude

showed up

more than two hours late

that was such an unnecessary

extra blow

to people who have been

suffering for so long now

who might never get true closure

but who

at least maybe might

have a chance to tiptoe forward

into life

after the hearing

so those two hours

really really really dragged on

and then

the

Most Amazing Thing

happened

Joey's Mom

Mama Jello

took her turn

in the seat where you sit

when you

have to tell

a judge

and

your friends

and

the man who

killed your son

just what that means

How does anyone ever

find words for this?

Here is how she started out

and while I won't ever forget

any of her words

this opening statement

will ring loud in my ears

for a very long time

She said

I got pretty angry

in the two hours we waited for you.

But I'm not going to

let that be

my story.

And then

Joey Jello's Mom

went on

to read three statements

her husband's

her own

and

her daughter's

She told

the man who

only glanced up

once or twice

that she knew that

revenge and non-forgiveness

were not an option for her

she told about

all the places her

son's ashes have been scattered

around the world

and the list includes

literally dozens of locations

she talked about all of his friends

and their love

and I listened

and I breathed

and I worked on trying to

hold the space

and then she

got to the part about how

her boy had

a big old

Heart Shaped Tattoo

with

MOM

in it

and how great his hugs were

and how much

she misses those hugs

and you know

that did it for me

my heart just

FELL APART

a week ago

I was in Brooklyn

and

I was hugging my son

as much as I could

get away with

and

I held his arm

when we walked through

the bitter cold streets

and

he didn't protest

and

there is not

a single thing in this world

not

One

Single

Thing

that has brought me

more love

more joy

more compassion

more anything

than being

mother to my son

before everyone read their letters

the judge asked

the convicted

why he was late

and he said it was because

he was trying to

help his kids understand

that he was going away

which made him late

to the one place he

should have been on time

so a woman who will

never understand

why her son had to

go away at 27

could at least have

a chance to

say her piece

at the time she had been promised

but

Mama Jello

did not let her anger

at the lateness

be her story

after she told us all

Joey's father's feelings

and

her own feelings

she then read a blog post

that

Joey's sister Sarah wrote

over at the

blog

Never Betray

which she keeps in memory of her brother

Like her mother

she, too

said

I FORGIVE YOU

and here is what else she said

Stop betraying yourself

and start making choices

that add life to your days on this earth

Be a better man, husband, father

When you leave this earth,

may those left behind say,

“I’m so glad I got the chance to know him.”

That’s what the friends and family of

Joey Jello are saying,

and it’s not too late for that

to be your legacy, too.

You can

read Sarah's entire letter here

I think about forgiveness

a lot

I have tried to learn it

I have managed to do it

and feel it

sometimes

and when I do

there really is

nothing like it

but I'm not sure

I could

have the kind of hearts

Joey Jello's family

have shown me

in the face of

something they

have faced

are facing

will face

every day

forever

I am so humbled

and

I am so grateful

for the reminder

always always always

try to

live better

and

appreciate

every moment

and

every one in that moment

Today I

Breathe In

and I

Breathe Out

and I

am so incredibly sorry

all of

Joey's family

blood and ink

for your loss

and

I am sorry

I never got to meet him

and

I hope you will visit

the

Ghost Bike

that stands in his memory

and

I hope you will

seriously hug someone

really big and hard today

in honor

of Mama Jello

and

the hugs

that she is missing

Thank you

#meditation #buddhism #joey jello #never betray #ghost bike #austin #ATX

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